After the birth of my first child, a baby girl, I have slowly grown into the role of mother. I have also discovered a new paradigm in which to view my relationship with God, the ultimate Parent.
1. The love God feels for me:
It is truly impossible to capture the love and devotion that I feel for this little child. This feeling existed from the minute that she was born, how much more so with each passing day. It gives me some frame of reference to draw from in relating to the infinite amount of love that God has for me and for each of His creations.
2. God is completely concerned with my well-being 24/hours a day:
My friend once told me that since becoming a parent, she realizes that she will never be able to stop worrying for the rest of her life. I never stop feeling concern for my child, even when we are not physically together. God, too, is completely connected to His children, 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
3. We are completely dependent upon God for everything; we are helpless without Him:
First time parents are often intimidated by how vulnerable a newborn baby is. They are very fragile. One has to be so careful to support their neck and their head, and to handle them gently and with great care. They can be so easily hurt if not for the care of their parents. Their feeding, bathing, toileting, sleeping, grooming, dressing and warming needs are taken care of by their parents. There is truly not one thing they can do for themselves.
We at times create the illusion of independence, but in reality we are just as dependent upon God.
4. God feels my pain and cries with me:
The Talmud says that the sound of a baby crying is physically uncomfortable to her mother. If the baby is God forbid sick or uncomfortable, the mother suffers as much if not more than the baby.
Just as the mother cries with her precious little baby, God is the ultimate Parent who feels the pain of His children and cries with them, a million times more so.
5. Sometimes God must let us cry for our own good:
I am in the midst of trying to get my baby to sleep through the night. She wakes up frequently and cries. When I go in to her, she looks up at me with these big, pleading eyes to pick her up, and I just want to scoop her up in my arms and cuddle her. I know I could stop her crying in one instant, and I want so much to do that. (And I usually do).
But I also know logically that when I do this, she continues to wake up repeatedly until she is bleary-eyed and overtired in the morning. Sometimes a little crying is in my baby's best interest. She will then learn to self-soothe, and put herself to sleep for a well-rested night's sleep.
While I haven't yet mastered this one, I believe in the concept behind it. God sometimes needs to let us cry. It hurts Him to do it, but He can't always give us what we are pleading for.
6. God desires for us to reach out to Him:
It is the most wonderful feeing in the world when your baby starts to develop in her awareness and mobility, and she is able to reach her hands out toward you when she sees you. Parents are supposed to be selfless, but we long for recognition by our children and are gratified when we receive it.
God, too, desires our recognition of Him. He wants us to reach out to Him, to for us to feel that we can turn to Him for everything that we need.
7. God gives us the power to recreate ourselves every day:
Babies are always discovering something new. One day it is the marvel of their hands, another day it is the flexibility of their feet. They can fixate on something seemingly ordinary for hours and find the wonder and joy within it. And along with these discoveries comes tremendous growth in their visual, cognitive and motor skill development.
We, too, have the ability to make new discoveries and surpass our previous selves on a daily basis. We have power to recreate ourselves anew, and to make great gains in our spiritual development.
8. God must let us find our own way:
When my baby first started to grasp at objects, extending her hand for a toy that was slightly beyond her reach, I would be tempted to put it in her hand. But I needed to let her get it on her own, even if it was frustrating for her.
God must also let us find our own way, giving us the room to make our own decisions and figure things out for ourselves, even if it means that we get frustrated sometimes. I also imagine Him hovering over us and watching us every step of the way, with His arms extended and waiting to catch us if we fall.
9. God gives us limitless potential: Every parent looks at their little baby and wishes the world for them. That all of their possibilities are realized, their limitless potential reached.
I imagine that God looks at us the same way. We all have a unique purpose in the world. There is so much to achieve. The sky is our limit. With the love and guidance of our Father above, let us strive to reach it.
(23) Sharona, October 16, 2013 8:28 AM
Beautiful
Just came across this article. Thank you so much!
Thank you aish for such a great website that pointed me to an article written years ago.
(22) Luschka, January 4, 2011 8:52 PM
Good with one exception
This was a great article and rang so true for me in so many things, other than the letting us cry one. Yes, God sometimes allows us to go through hardships, but it's usually a consequence of our own actions. Letting a baby cry, alone and feeling abandoned and uncertain as to why is simply cruel. :( I see it slightly differently - as a monther I comfort my daughter when she cries, and it is in the security of knowing that I am there and that I will meet her needs that she learns to sleep peacefully through the night. In the same way, God has never failed me - and that makes me make it through hard times, because I know I can be confident and secure in His love, comfort and protection. Sometimes babies DO just need to cry - even when you hold them in your arms, they sob. In the same way, sometimes we need to cry, grieve, be angry and go through whatever we are going through. But God does not stand silently by and watch - instead he holds us in his hand, and lets us deal with our issues from the security of his embrace. Really enjoyed the post otherwise. Rang so true in so many ways.
(21) anonymous, September 29, 2010 9:22 AM
Beautiful article, bad example of baby crying
This was a very good article, very meaningful and good points to ponder about Hashem. However, the example used about letting a baby cry is not a good example. Babies do not need to cry in order to learn to go sleep. This is a huge mistake that parents make these days. It is not natural for a mother to sit and let her baby cry itself to sleep. To learn to comfort themselves, babies need to feel safe and protected and loved and cared for. When they are left alone to cry, it makes them feel abandoned. Much is lost in the relationship when parents let their babies cry themselves to sleep, like trust. A better example of when to let a baby cry is when they are crying over something they want that they are not allowed to have, and they need to learn that they can't have everything they want because it may not be good for them.
(20) Keeva, April 4, 2008 9:51 PM
Helped me, lost my precious son
So much of this writing I was able to identify within me. My son passed away several months ago, my only child. He was 36 and succumbed to a rare disorder. 36 you say? I can remember when he was growing within me. I cherished him from the moment I saw him until his last breath which I was present for...suffice it to say, I want desperately to know Hashem has his beautiful precious soul in his keeping and wants me to live my life to its fullest somehow. Thank you and Shabbat Shalom through my tears.
(19) Akan, April 4, 2008 3:08 AM
This article has re-inforced my confidence in God. It's a beautiful article. Thank you so much.
This article has re-inforced my confidence in God. It is a beautiful article. Thank you so much.
(18) Rea, April 3, 2008 7:50 PM
Lovely and Touching
Thank you so much for this beautiful article. I am expecting my first baby (due at the end of August) and I am already in love with him/her. I can only imagine just how much that love will grow when I finally meet this little person. This article provides so much insight into the experience of a parent, our joys and sorrows, and finds such depth there. Like all things in this world, loving our children is a way of bringing us to a deeper underrstanding of God. As a child of God, the image of a loving parent always watching over me is both comforting and
empowering. Thanks!
(17) Anonymous, April 2, 2008 11:52 AM
Simply Beautiful! Something to Think About!
Will print and be m'zaka others.
Thanks!!!
(16) Cindy, April 1, 2008 11:24 PM
What a beautiful, meaningful article.
I truly enjoyed this article from the perspective of being a mother and a Jew. It helped to put into words my thoughts about G-d and how he is always with me. I also thought of my sons and my love for them, and how Hashem is looking out for both of them.
(15) Anonymous, April 1, 2008 9:32 AM
In regard to your 5th comment, I hope you will always be there to comfort your baby. If you are breastfeeding there are times your husband can comfort her better. If she wants comfort and not food he is the best person to hold and walk with her. She is crying because she needs somebody/something. I hope we will all always have people around us to help us when we are in need. I think this is why we were created as we were. We stay in family units to provide for one another.
(14) lazer kahan, April 1, 2008 6:00 AM
simply beautiful.
A very beautiful and clear article.feelings I have myself but when you actually seen it written out it makes it clearer in my own mind
(13) Aryeh, March 31, 2008 5:14 PM
what Hashem thinks (I guess!)
Hashem is a father. Surely like every father He is ecstatically delighted over even the smallest good action his son or daughter does. It is the best thing in the world to him whenever one of His very precious children do even the smallest tiniest good thing. After all see a parent (me!) go ecstatic over his son's saying "goo" and smiling! Believe me, that is what Hashem is doing too.
(12) Eliah, March 31, 2008 1:06 PM
wise mother
what a fortunate baby, she has a wise mother walking with in infinate Father.
(11) Beth, March 31, 2008 10:15 AM
Beautiful!
As a doula, I shall be directing my clients to this article...these are truly teachings to engrave upon the heart.
(10) david, March 31, 2008 9:38 AM
Wonderful article
Wonderful article!
I must share something that I heard in the name of Rav Shach ZTL. He once asked a learned talmid if he get's pleasure when his baby smiles at him. Not sure what he was getting at, he answered that, yes, he does enjoy that. Rav Shach then said that that is the way that Hashem looks at our weak generation. Any small thing that we do for Hashem, no matter how small and trivial that we think it is, elicits the same, so to speak, plasure from Hashem.
(9) Joey, March 31, 2008 6:44 AM
Thank you
I like the format of these short little messages. God bless.
(8) sheeba josef, March 30, 2008 11:06 PM
Excellent article, as a mother for 10 yrs now. I felt after reading this, a new life.
(7) Anonymous, March 30, 2008 11:00 PM
The love God feels for me:
Re 1. The love God feels for me:
I trust the amount of love that God has for each of us is infinite, not "infinitesimal".
(6) ruth housman, March 30, 2008 6:56 PM
what is apparent: what is a parent
This is a very sweet article. I think the commentary being so heartfelt and about love, rings true. There are these analogies we can make and do make and when they are so pure, and about love, well, how can they be wrong? With thanks, Ruth
(5) Malka, March 30, 2008 6:35 PM
What a beautiful "Mashal"/"Nimshal" & how true!!!
Thank you for the Chizuk! I know there must be many more parents out there who will feel the same way after reading this!
(4) Ehsan Ali, March 30, 2008 11:34 AM
I am fully satisfied
i am really impressed by the way u have explained for being a mother
its really my pleasure to go through these articles and clues of happy life
(3) Anonymous, March 30, 2008 11:01 AM
beautiful
Lovely --- I'm envious of your seeing and feeling and recognizing all that you've so beautifully written. (Except -- infinitesimal means teeny, very little. I think you meant just the opposite.)
(2) Eli Kuala, March 30, 2008 10:48 AM
Excellent
I am visiting my daughter, husband and grand daughter, and this article so illustrates that relationship. I will share this with my daughter. Thank you.
(1) Leah, March 30, 2008 9:07 AM
Lovely
A truly lovely article - thank you so much!