Monica, at age 15, was a talented musician and poet with an insightful, witty personality and an I.Q. of 165. She had loving parents, both professors, who adored their only child. Nonetheless, Monica was depressed enough to enter psychotherapy.
What was she depressed about? Her appearance. "I'm a pimply whale," she described herself. "When I walk down the halls [in school] I feel like a hideous monster."
All the kids shunned Monica because she was overweight. "I'm a good musician," she declared wistfully, "but not many guys are looking for a girl that plays great Bach preludes." Girls, too, obsessed with the ideal of thinness, did not want to be seen with Monica. "I can see people look me over, size me up as unattractive and look away," Monica complained to her therapist. "I'm not a person to them."
Monica is a case study in psychologist Mary Pipher's best-selling book Reviving Ophelia. Dr. Pipher writes about the ordeal that faces most contemporary adolescent girls:
I wouldn't have written this book had it not been for these last few years when my office has been filled with girls -- girls with eating disorders, alcohol problems, posttraumatic stress reactions to sexual or physical assaults... self-inflicted injuries and strange phobias, and girls who have tried to kill themselves or run away. A health department survey showed that 40 percent of all girls in my Midwestern city considered suicide last year. [p. 27]
Dr. Pipher identifies one of the main culprits in this ongoing catastrophe to be the pressure to be beautiful. She coined the term "lookism," which she defined as "the evaluation of a person solely on the basis of appearance." Dr. Pipher writes: "In early adolescence girls learn how important appearance is in defining social acceptability. Attractiveness is both a necessary and a sufficient condition for girls' success. This is an old, old problem. Helen of Troy didn't launch a thousand ships because she was a hard worker." [p.40]
THE CHANUKAH CONFLICT
Dr. Pipher is right; beauty as the ultimate value is an "old, old problem." In fact, we can trace its roots to ancient Greek culture. The Greeks innovated the aesthetic ideal. While other ancient cultures beautified their buildings and pottery, the Greeks introduced the idea of beauty for its own sake, or, as we say today, "art for art's sake."
The ultimate value of the Greeks was beauty; the ultimate value of the Jews was holiness.
Historian Will Durant, in his book The Life of Greece, refers to ancient Greece's "infatuation with physical beauty and health," to the exclusion of "the study of character and the portrayal of soul."
In fact, the Torah identifies the ancestor of the ancient Greeks to be Yefeth, the son of Noah. "Yefeth" means beauty.
Chanukah celebrates the victory of the Jews over the Greeks. The conflict was not only a military war, but even more so a Kulturkampf between opposing values. The ultimate value of the Greeks was beauty; the ultimate value of the Jews was holiness. Even a cursory glimpse at contemporary Western society reveals that the Chanukah battle isn't over yet.
Judaism does not scorn beauty, but it relegates it to secondary importance. Beauty is worthwhile only when used to enhance the holy. Thus, the sages of the Talmud praised the Holy Temple in Jerusalem for its beauty, declaring that "one who never saw the Temple never saw a beautiful building." Jewish art consists of ancient mosaic synagogue floors and 19th century Polish Chanukah menorahs. Even the performance of mitzvot, the crux of Judaism, includes a concept called hiddur mitzvah, the beautification of the mitzvah. This is one of the reasons why Jews do not light just one Chanukah candle per household per night, but rather each person lights an increasing number of candles of the menorah every night.
The concept that beauty should be secondary to holiness corresponds to Noah's blessing to his son Yefeth that he should "dwell in the tents of Shem." Noah's son Shem was the ancestor of the Jewish people. When beauty serves holiness, it enhances. When beauty becomes its own master, it tyrannizes.
If a person's sense of self devolves on external beauty, every pimple will trigger an identity crisis.
This is the tragedy of Monica and the traumatized girls Dr. Pipher writes about. If a person's sense of self devolves on external beauty, on the slimness of her body or the sleekness of her hair, her sense of self will be as fragile as a hollow plaster figurine. Every pimple will trigger an identity crisis, every gained pound a personal cataclysm. Dr. Pipher chronicles the sad case of one frizzy-haired, homely girl who said of herself, "I'm a dog."
Judaism's rebuttal to such "lookism" is: You're a soul. Your self worth is intrinsic and immutable. You are created in the image of God, which means that your essential self is holy. And the more you identify with your spiritual essence rather than with your physical exterior, the more liberated you will be from the tyranny of the Greek god of external appearance.
Obeisance to the external tyrannizes because it's never good enough. No anorexic girl is ever thin enough; no attractive woman can compete with the billboard models; even an hour assiduously applying makeup falls short of the faces in the magazines.
Those who value the holy, on the other hand, are always good enough, because holiness is an essential, incorruptible quality of every human being. It can be obscured, but never eradicated. Moreover, unlike physical beauty, holiness is the province of all. Only some people are born beautiful, but all people are born holy.
What would the Jewish value of internality look like translated into contemporary terms? It would manifest as: middle-aged people untraumatized by wrinkles and gray hair because they know that as they grow older they grow wiser; well-adjusted teenage girls who spend more time praying than primping; husbands who adore their wives for their inner qualities rather than their dress size; and secure wives who are not worried that their husbands will divorce them for younger, slimmer women. This is what a true victory over the Greeks looks like on the ground.
PURE OIL VS. GOLDEN MENORAH
Rabbi Avigdor Nebenzahl, the rabbi of Jerusalem's Old City, teaches an incisive Chanukah lesson. Kindling the Menorah required two components: pure oil and the Golden Menorah. The beautiful Golden Menorah in the Temple had been pillaged by the Greeks. When the Maccabees reconquered the Temple, they had to improvise a rough menorah made of their own spears, iron coated with tin. It was years before the Jews could afford a nice silver Menorah, and decades before they could replace the beautiful Golden Menorah.
If God miraculously produced pure oil, why didn't He miraculously produce a beautiful Golden Menorah?
Rabbi Nebenzahl answers that the pure olive oil, whose purity was spiritual rather than physical, represented that which is internal. The beautiful Golden Menorah represented that which is external. The miraculous finding of the oil -- but not the Menorah -- was God's statement to the victorious Maccabees that the inner is more important than the outer. And that realization is the real victory over the Greeks.
THE HELLENIST IN EACH OF US
Historically, the battle of Chanukah was a civil war. Most of the Jews in the urban centers had become Hellenists, or aficionados of Greek culture. Although the Maccabees did have to fight the Greek army, the real foes of the loyal Jews were the Hellenists in their midst.
Mary Pipher contends that the culprits that spawn false self-images are the culture, the music, the media, and the advertising industry. Of course, she's right. But the real enemy is the Hellenist in each of us, that part of us that is dazzled by and devoted to external appearance: the men who are attracted more by cuteness than kindness, the women who spend more time working out than working "in"; the individuals who spend a fortune on clothes but hesitate to give a hundred dollars to charity; the parents who pass false values on to their daughters and sons; and those of us who judge others according to how they look rather than how they act.
King Solomon summed up the Jewish value system 2900 years ago: "Grace is false and beauty is vain; the woman who reveres God, she's the one to praise."
And that's something to think about as we kindle the Chanukah lights, commemorating the miracle of the oil, which represents the overriding importance of what's on the inside.
(33) JoAnna Fielding, December 25, 2019 9:10 PM
Herein lies true satisfaction, true happiness, the pursuit of true holiness. In an age gone appearance mad, an age where people consume but don't create, how amazing to remember what we were indeed created for.
(32) Anonymous, November 27, 2012 10:52 AM
Beautiful face ,ugly heart...
If you put as much time in your religion as you do primping,shopping,and reading about celebraties.You would shine from the inside out ,and the love you will find is pure and real...I know,I had a disasterous 10 year marriage to a non jew,who surpressed my religion,and worshipped beauty and money,and when I aged I was thrown aside.Now I have a soul mate who is returning this day from Israel.He loves me for the spirit I now have ,and I am always beautiful in his eyes.We need to realize that America today is no different than the Hellinistic times of the Macabees.We need to fight the impulse to join the Lemmings around us and embrace a way of life that has worked for 5770 years...Fight to light your inner Menorah, and keep it lit.Stop believing the propeganda that keeps you miserable about yourself ,and what you have.Remember those IDOLS are false!!(airbrushed),and return to the true faith!Look at yourself ,and your surroundings with NEW eyes...Only then can you find true happiness..Not fleeting and FALSE.But pure and shining BRIGHT! INSIDE and OUT!
(31) Anonymous, November 27, 2012 10:51 AM
another false dichotomy
There is no inherent contradiction between looking attractive and being of fine moral character. The inside can be as appealing as the outside. Moreover, although society does influence, to a certain extent, what is fashionably appealing in a given place at a given time, there are basic biological qualities (such as hip-to-waist ratio in females, for example)that suggest fertility, which are compelling.
(30) Anonymous, November 27, 2012 10:51 AM
Now this is true beauty!
Beautiful article about beauty.
(29) Anonymous, November 27, 2012 10:50 AM
Beautiful, Inspirational Chanukah Message
Well, Mrs. Rigler, once again you have produced an article which is wise, eloquently written, and thought provoking. Excellent article!
(28) Tali, November 27, 2012 10:50 AM
Such powerful words!
'Judaism's rebuttal to such "lookism" is: You're a soul. Your self worth is intrinsic and immutable. You are created in the image of God, which means that your essential self is holy. And the more you identify with your spiritual essence rather than with your physical exterior, the more liberated you will be from the tyranny of the Greek god of external appearance." Such powerful words! Even though I am beyond my teenage years (25 actually) I definetley still feel the pressure from within to be "perfect". It's hard to change that mantra in your head even when others are telling you that you're pretty. Something I have to work on every day... thanks for the reminder!
(27) Anonymous, December 8, 2010 7:20 AM
Beri - dec 14 2009
Like it or not, Beri is on target. And a lom ng long ways to go.
(26) Galil, December 7, 2010 6:32 PM
the real world
The writer envisions a world where middle age people would not be traumatized by gray hair or wrinkles because every year they're growing wiser. Alas, wisdom doesn't help you get a keep a job. You need job skills, but if you look too old (wrinkles & gray hair), you won't get a job in this competative job, or shidduch, market. I am 53, but have been told I look lke 37. I color my hair, wear make-up, and always try to look good. I have a ( I hope good) neshama, but I also have bills and rent to pay! I need my job! Also, I support Israel by buying Ahava & other Israeli products!
(25) Anon, December 7, 2010 5:55 PM
Sometimes it seems that there is a dichotomy in the frum world, pseudo-tsnius on the one hand and drabbery on the other. Yet it is possible to dress modestly (focus on the inner) and look beautiful. A beautiful, modestly dressed frum woman is such a kiddush hashem. Many frum women need to make more of an effort in this department. Anyone can be drab and modest, but to be beautiful and modest is the true hiddur mitzvah.
(24) Anon, December 7, 2010 5:45 PM
Nice, but ....
1. The Torah comments on the beauty of all the matriarchs (except for Leah). 2. Somewhere in Chazal it says that the reward of a scholar is a beautiful apartment, beautiful dishes and a beautiful wife. 3. There is halacha regarding the beauty needs of single women (in order to attract a husband), for example using make-up whilst in mourning. I don't think that the Jewish approach is to overcome the physical/visual but to integrate it. I forgot where I read that (in Hebrew) within the name Tsion is the word Yavan, meaning that Greece lives within the holiness of Judaism. ( And Yapheth shall dwell in the tents of Shem.) At the same time,I do sympathize with the Monica, but there is something wrong if a 15 year old girl is overweight. The goal of her therapy should be to discover if the psychological component of her excess weight. At the same time she should be trying to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight in order to be healthy.
(23) Beri, December 14, 2009 8:47 PM
It's idealistic, wishful thinking.
Sure, the frum community is less superficial, less beauty-oriented, than, say, the secular world. But growing up reading Glamour magazine and becoming frum in my 20's, I've looked at life from both sides (now). All those magnificent human-hair sheitels, the prices in women's clothing stores in Geula -- same old, same old. I have a daughter who is rather pretty, and that's the first thing people comment on when they meet her. Not, How's she doing in school, or Is she happy with her friends, or even How does she spend her free time. It's Oh, isn't she pretty! We've got a long way to go.
(22) Liz Ornstein, December 14, 2009 6:45 AM
Every girl and woman can be beautiful
Monica sounds amazing. If only someone could help her with a little fashion and health advice - like attractive clothing for women with curves, use of interesting colors and fabric textures, some jewelry (costume jewelry is the best!). Also, health habits, such as getting enough sleep, water, a little exercise (in the sun if possible). But most important, if a woman radiates serenity and joy she will be beautiful no matter how she is built or what she is wearing! (See Barbra Streisand in "Prince of Tides". By intentionally changing her inner attitude, she morphs in seconds from really ugly to very, very beautiful.)
(21) Alex Troy, December 13, 2009 10:19 PM
Judiasm and Hellenism
This article describes Hanukah as a war between Greek and Jewish culture, which is true but also incomplete as an account of the interaction between the two civilizations. Jewish civilization, indeed world civilization, benefited enormously from the contributions of the Greeks. Shouldn't we acknoweldge that debt? An analogy to the Jewish encounter with the Midianites answers the question: the ancient Jews fought the Midianites but also developed their court system based on the advice of Jethro, a Midianite. The Jewish debt to Midian is honored in the Torah; we should do the same with the far greater gifts the Greeks bestowed on us. Also, referring to our adversaries in the Hanukah story as the "Greeks" may be inaccurate. The Jews fought the Seleucid Empire, a successor to one part of Alexander's empire. Alexander was Macedonian, as were most of his inner circle; the Greeks looked down on the Macedonians and did not consider them Greek. And the soldiers in the Antiochus's army-were they Greek, or inhabitants of the Empire, which encompassed the Levant, Anatolia,Persia and other regions,who adopted Greek culture but were not themsleves ethnically Greek? I believe the latter is more likely.
(20) Rachel, December 13, 2009 8:22 PM
Art for art's sake
is not the same as "beauty for beauty's sake." In fact, the idea of art as having value in and of itself is far more akin to the idea of holiness for its own sake. We can all understand the utility of feeding the homeless or building a sturdy house. But the kind of holiness that also incorporates prayer (including candle lighting, blessing food before eating, etc.) is similar to the kind of art that has no utility but is nonetheless desirable -- be it a painting or a symphony. It's not "necessary" in a practical sense to take challah or say motzi, any more than it is "necessary" to decorate one's home with "useless" art. But if one has a sense of spirituality, one is likely to find spiritual nourishment as well as physical in food prepared this way, and one is likely to experience a similar elevation from true art.
(19) Anonymous, December 17, 2006 9:41 AM
First and foremost, thank you so much for this article. It was insightful and beautifully written. I never knew before about the menorah put together from the swords - very interesting.
But. Of course you are right about this, that a person is really a soul, and that the outer body doesn't matter. However, that is not what today's shidduch scene is. The boys want a blond, blue-eyed, size 2 model. Not me.
How do we focus our efforts on ruchniyus, when the boys we are hoping to be set up with are focusing on finding gashmiyus?
If you could respond to this, I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you once again and a freilichen Chanukah!
(18) davidjacobs, December 10, 2006 9:21 AM
a wonderful article.
We both really enjoyed your special insightful article and working in kiruv in the field we hope to use your ideas out in the field.Yasher Kochacha !
David & Esther Jacobs.
(17) Anonymous, January 12, 2006 12:00 AM
Very good article, this is an eye opener for me!
This was a well written article; it covered history, and explained western societies view on "beauty." This is important information for helping to understand ourselves and others.
(16) Alice Kell, December 31, 2005 12:00 AM
Not exactly new
"Lookism" is not a new phenomenon. I remember going through exactly the same thing in high school 25 years ago, only in my case it was my frizzy hair, not my weight, which was the alleged problem. I was fortunate that, in college, even though looks mattered, there was enough diversity that I wasn't considered a freak. It also helped that I lived in a single-sex dorm, where I didn't have to worry about my looks 24/7.
With 20/20 hindsight, my suggested solution would be single-sex education. The majority of problems girls have with lookism-related disorders has to do with trying to impress boys. Without the constant presence of boys at a vulnerable time of a girl's life, these problems wouldn't be as overwhelming as they now are, and the girls would be able to shine in whatever field they choose to shine.
(15) Yossi, December 29, 2005 12:00 AM
Frum Communities Just as Guilty of Superficiality as Everyone Else
While many of the comments here make some good points, everyone seems to be avoiding something: physical human beauty is just as valued an therefore problematic in the observant Jewish community as it is everywhere else in the Western world.
Many have pointed out that the obesity and pimples are a "disease" and one should seek help for them. That's true to an extent, but they are also genetic. What's more, many aspects of appearance are not "diseases", but are still genetic. Would you recommend someone get implants if they're not of average size? A nose job? Those things are certainly not diseases. People need to admit that we as much as any dwell on appearance.
While we like to talk about inner virtues and how much importance we give them, when was the last time a rabbi was as quick to recommend an unattractive yet highly intelligent & spiritual person as a very attractive yet less intelligent person. Despite what we'd like to think, we all have witnessed this many times.
All the observant orthodox women I know, who don't watch tv or read fashion magazines, all spend at least as much money on makeup and clothing as others do. And the community is just as quick to judge people by appearance as by character.
Anyhow, of course for one's own sake a person should do their best to feel attractive. But we as Jews, more-so than anyone, should do more to strive to make a "beautiful" mind & character more highly valued in action as well as word, than a "beautiful" face. Beauty is objective, & human nature is not a good enough excuse for the level of superficiality that exists within even the most frum Jewish communities.
(14) Sarah Topper, December 28, 2005 12:00 AM
Certainly, to achieve a true sense of self-worth one would have to look toward developing, and recognizing qualities that are independent of ones' particular appearance. Indeed our society’s value system is in urgent need of change. You ascertain that in order to battle the symptoms of “lookism,” one would have to recognize the “holiness” within, which you mention comes as a result of being created “b’tzelem elokim.” Naturally, there are many ways of understanding the concept of “tzelem elokim.” I am sure you are familiar with the Rambam’s explanation that “tzelem elokim” implies our unique ability to make independent choices, which is otherwise known as “free will.” Furthermore, you could explore the notion of “free will” in much greater depth, even to the point of rejecting this concept altogether. My question is regarding your definition of holiness. If we are all holy, because we are created thus, how are we then all unique?
(13) Beth, December 28, 2005 12:00 AM
Let's Practice What We Preach...
Great article! Now, if we could get everyone who agreed with this piece as they read it to take the morals into sidduch dating...what a great world this would be!
I really enjoyed the connection between Chanukah and beauty. Great work!
(12) Anonymous, December 27, 2005 12:00 AM
she doesn't need to be "beautiful" but can have pleasant appearance
If she has acne, she should go to a dermatologist, because acne can be controlled with facial cleansers and creams. It's a much better approach then say "it doesn't matter, just look on the inside". She doesn't need to look like a model, but having a more pleasant appearance would make her a more confident, happier person.
(11) E. Gordon, December 27, 2005 12:00 AM
Great commentary!
I enjoyed reading the comments as much as I enjoyed reading the article by Sara Rigler.
Lots of valid observations about a touchy touchy issue.
(10) K. Katz, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
older and wiser
While I strongly agree that "lookism" with its emphasis on youth and external beauty has a damaging effect on many lives, especially women's, nevertheless I was disappointed that Ms. Rigler served up the "older and wiser" stereotype once again. Not everyone who grows older grows wiser. If only it were so! We may evolve past repeating some of the mistakes of our youth but never outgrow our infinite ability to make new ones. It's what makes us human, and we have intrinsic worth at every stage of our lives, with or without special age-related attributes.
(9) Shoshanna, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
agreed but.....
I do agree that judging someone soley by appearance is shallow but I also believe that we should be leading a healthy lifestyle that leads to a pleasant appearance. We should be eating nutritious, healthy meals. We should be physically active to keep a healthy weight. Our clothing should be neat and clean. I've seen many folks in the jewish community that do not aspire to those standards..and I'm willing to bet that one of the reasons for such high intermarriage is for that reason...I was set up with a very overweight jewish man..funny, he wanted someone slender and complained that so many women my age were so matronly looking.....it made me rather ill...I eat healthy, work out a few times a week
to keep myself at a healthy weight. I'm told I'm lucky that I can eat what I want...Not true..I do have a friend who is quite ill and because of her medications she has put on weight...THis is something very different...Some people have very good reasons for a weight problem. I"m talking about those that for some reason think that "holiness" is a good excuse for not taking care of oneself but expecting the other (usually the woman) to be a knock out.
(8) Shoshana, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
It's the truth of the matter
I have to agree 1000 percent. As a teenager myself, I've realized to find my inner beauty rather than concentrate on my outside. The laws of tzniut/modesty help me through my hard teenage struggle. I am not saying I am ugly at all; I believe I am beautiful, but not because of my looks at all. Now, my inner beauty radiates on my outside body and TOGETHER they both shine brightly!
(7) Rachel, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
Beauty is still good
When I go to shul, it seems as if many of the women are competing for the frumpiest and dumpiest appearance. What is it with Orthodox women that so many of them wear these hideous, drab colors? Navy blue, black, dark brown, dark gray, green that is so dark it may as well be black. You never see them wearing any color you might see on one of Hashem's flowers. And so many of them are really overweight, but then I see them loading up their faces at Kiddush with all sorts of junk. When I ask about a healthier Kiddush, they tell me that the congregation wants the heart unhealthy, fattening stuff.
Acne is a disease and so is obesity. Instead of railing that the world doesn't appreciate fat girls with pimples, why don't her parents take her to a good dermatologist and serve only healthy, low-fat foods, so she can look and feel better, gain confidence in herself, and enjoy better health for life?
(6) Boris, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
Well, it is funny reading ;).
Well, it is funny reading ;). First of all the disposition of "what is holy that is beautiful" is amusing by itself. Do you really think that the first thought that visits one's mind when attractive female has approaches that is "did she prayed today?".
Trust me, I'm male, it is not. It not only Greeks who see the beauty as a value, it is natural reaction, it is independent one and related to social context as well. There is no "absolute" beauty, every nation, every epoch has generated different approaches of is beautiful. And that is why you observe, obese models on the Ruben's paintings and enjoy, classical, gothic, baroque, rococo,neoclassical, modernists, postmodernist architecture. Women may be attractive or may be not, and if she is not, while I do not deny her as a person, no matter how refined she is internally, she doesn't ignite desire and that why it is natural.
So that is why Monica would be better off by taking some training and working out.
Greeks did emphasized the beauty because they metaphysical conceptions linked outer beauty with internal rifeness. They actually succeeded very much by laying off the foundation for everything that we call today art in general and architecture in particular. We live in beautiful buildings and we like it and I never hears of anyone who would be bragging about his ugly "but full of holiness" house.
The problem of the article, is a disposition of judaism as seeking for a conflict with external world. The conception that everyone is wrong but the rebbe is right is an outdated one. The claim is too large, the evidence is too little. And ultimately this position lead jewish people to all great disaster they endured.
World is nice and beautiful, and it is beautiful because I see it beautiful, I perceive it like that and not because some rebbe from Jerusalem said so. It would still beautiful even if he claimed it to be disgusting. I don't need someone's arrogant opinion on something that I can form an opinion by myself. The statement, that "oil is beautiful because it is spiritual" makes no sense. It is oil, it has no fillings, it is not living creature and it is completely devoid of ability to contain spirituality. It is a food. Can contain the spiritual meaning if one will assign such meaning to it.
So coming back to Monica, I think the best thing she can do, it is to work on her "exterior" to make it up to her "interior", and not seeking the "spiritual" reasons why not to do so.
Live is short, learn to enjoy it.
paula levin, October 30, 2012 6:47 PM
why the oil was holy
boris, just to clarify that the reason the oil was considered possesing inner beauty was because it was ritually pure, still in its sealed jar with the stamp of the Kohen gadol. only one such jar was found. and it lasted eight days. so its beauty was inner, and they used that jar instead of ordinary, unsealed olive oil which was freely available. after those eight days, they had again produced ritually pure oil to continue lighting the menora. if you cant see that a physical thing can have holiness, even food, when elevated to serve G-d then I'm not sure what you are doing on aish.com, commenting about Judaism.
(5) Di, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
Been There, Bailed Out
As someone who spent years struggling with anorexia and finally moved on to giving workshops on healthy body image, I find the Chaunka angle extremely interesting and appropriate. This is a beautiful article that really touches on the root of the problem.
(4) Sarah, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
separate schooling helps
The beautiful philosophy described in the article will not help an adolescent girl who has to "run the gauntlet" of her peers every day at school. In preventing the problem and mitigating it, same sex schools are a big help. A girl in an all-girl school simply does not suffer as much (there is some) pressure to conform to a perceived standard of physical beauty as a girl in a school with boys.
Another big help is a limit on the amount of television and popular magazines adolescents have access too, as the media very effectively emphasizes the importance of external over internal selfhood.
(3) sjhepner, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
Excellent informative article, Sarah...
Who said Man looks at the ouwtard appearance, and G-d looks at the soul??? I t seems that kind holy women get more beautiful as they age...their soul transcends to their demeanour and achievements.. it doesnt matter whether u are beautiful or plain ,attractive or mediocre, kindness ... good deeds leaves its imprint on our demeanour...but u have to apply it daily like moisturiseer...
Anonymous, October 30, 2012 6:51 PM
sjhepner
i love this comment about good deeds being applied daily like moisturiser! i think the quote you refer to is G-d to the prophet shmuel who is sent to annoint the new king of israel. he mistakenly annoints David's very goodlooking brother and G-d explains that man sees outward appearance, while G-d sees into the heart of man.
(2) A T Cox, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM
Verse that puts it together
Reading this very interesting article on holiness, which of course is basic to G-d's character. I immediately tought of that great verse in the Psalms: "O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."
(1) Lesley Hubbard, December 23, 2005 12:00 AM
My Thoughts Have Long Been the Same!
I am not ashamed of the way I look, although by today's standards, I'm considered extremely unattractive, dare I say - ugly?! Yes, ugly! And I say, "So what?". I am not affected by the comments and snide looks of others; why, you might ask? Because all my life I've been more interested in how I feel about things, not about my outward appearance. So let others get the glory for their looks, I'll take my life the way it is and be proud!