I have come to understand that the people I wouldn’t forgive were all dead. I was hurting myself and they had nothing to do it. I realized I had to give up beating myself up for the past. Was I willing to let go of suffering and open my heart to love. To allowing myself to experience love and nurturing of a mother’s love that was waiting for my call. Finally today, Yom Kipper, I forgave myself enough to let go of self inflicted jabs into my own heart. I think self love and self forgiveness is needed. We are so used to anger that a life of loving kindness can be hard to get used to. No longer am I angry at them? So were does it go? Who do I blame? Who do I shame? Can I give up anger for wisdom? Anything is possible.

Cool!!!!

Very good message ! I am so happy to hear it. This message hit home, for I need to control my anger. Thanks so much for your love and timely message

I am not Jewish, but appreciate the wisdom all religions provide. This lesson is from God.

there was so much I had to forgive but because of that, I too became a person who needed lots and lots of forgiveness: The two seem to go hand in hand: Ask for forgiveness for whatever you did to estrange your daughter to the point that she would be so callous to you: Once you accept her forgiveness she may reach out with a heart that is healed so she too can ask forgiveness from you: Consider it: Pray on it:

How does one forgive a 60-year-old daughter who buried her younger sister and the next day went to the movies? Who didn't offer any support to an 80 mother or offer to help with clearing out her sister's apartment? Who hasn't spoken or emailed her widowed mother for six months?

My deepest sympathy to you, Lonna. It seems like you are now grieving the loss of both your daughters.

Forgiveness, when it comes, will not be for her sake but for yours. May you find peace. Shana tova.

Thank you for understanding. Your words are very helpful.

Dear Lonna,

I can't begin to imagine the pain you have gone through. It's incredibly painful to have to go through life carrying that with you.

May the Almighty help you find the strength to relieve the burden you are carrying.

Wishing you a year of health and tranquility.

Rabbi Sytner

I am so very sorry for the pain you are going through. Perhaps there is a neutral third party you could speak to? It has been my experience that neutral, non relatives can help in this area. (Without going into detail, I can tell you that I was estranged from a close relative for 4 1/2 years, I have since reconciled with this relative.) Shana Tova.