I am a survivor of over twenty years of virtually every type of domestic violence. Having been away from my former husband for four years now, I find myself every Yom Kippur struggling deeply with the aspect of forgiveness and the fact that all of us were created with Divine potential. Survivors of violence have experienced pure evil. We know that monsters really do exist.

I truly appreciate this letter, and in recognizing that we cannot take every shortcoming or fault on at once. All of us need to take baby steps in our personal development.

For those of us who have survived horrific circumstances and who hold the blackness of hatred in our hearts, Yom Kippur is a reminder that we need to rise above what happened to us. We need to let go of some of that hatred. Unfortunately it is far from easy, especially after some of us have literally watched loved ones die and children harmed by someone who should have protected and cared for them. We are not our pasts. We are not all of the horrible things our abusers said we were. We ARE made in G-d's image. And by rising above, taking baby steps, and using our pasts to help and improve the lives of others, we in turn are making ourselves better people and fulfilling the teachings of Yom Kippur.

Thank you again, and have an easy fast.

ערב יום כיפור תשע"ג 2012 אני מרגישה שבאתי בידיים ריקות עם נפש מזוהמת ממחשבות שווא. חיפשתי משהו שיעורר אותי, שינער, שיגרום לי לשפוך דמעות והשיטוט במייל הביא לי את המאמר הזה. מילים פשוטות יומיומיות באנגלית של ימינו והנה שלוש שנים אחרי שפורסם יש לו אפקט חזק. אז דע לך כותב יקר, שדברים שזרעת נקצרים בדמעה אך ברינה, זה מעביר לי מסר חשוב על השפעות המעשים שלי, קטנים וגדולים כאחד מתרגמת את התפילה לעברית ומוסיפה למחזור. תודה

This prayer has really caused me to take a closer look at myself. Thank you.

Much to think about This gave me much to consider as it touches on issuses I wrestle with in myself. It clarifies them so welland is an eloquent prayer to become ones better self. I will share this with others.

Hope you have the most wonderful ligth shinning upon you.

I've been praying for a lot of years, but this year I'm approaching Yom Kippur kind of empty -- I just didn't know what to even say. Thank you for this beautiful article. I've printed it out and will keep it in my machzor, to read when I need inspiration.

Excellent article that I and many others are enjoying. I too plan on keeping this in my machzor to reread and help me focus. Hashem loves us and wants our teshuva, we just need to talk to Him. I finally realized that this year!

Thank you for this touching, well written article! i just printed it out to keep in my machzor to get re-inspired in shull over yom kippur! Gamar Chasima Tova to all!

i beg to differ what i always learned was that the reason why new year resolutions fail is because people choose resolutions that are to hard to jump to right away. people must take small steps slowly. gmar chasima tov

i know this wasnt the purpose of this article but thank you because from reading this it is reinforced that i am not the only one who is struggling with these areas all the time and theres a comfort in knowing that i am not alone in this battle for growth- we're all in it together and we all have room for improvement which is indeed a positive thought- i give everyone a bracha to continue to have areas to work on because only through working can we continue to become closer to our Creator

All I can say is that I tried to do something about my feelings regarding the stressful situation in Israel and Bears from Bergenfield was created. Can you imagine what else could be done if only more effort was put forth consistently?

Gives me much to think about Excellent article. The dating/relationships section has taken center stage for me. Seeing you include it here shows me I am not alone in this. Hopefully one day Jews will give each other a chance in the dating arena and we will not see so many need to turn to non-Jewish venues to find love, as I myself am feeling the temptation to do.

Thanks so much for such an all-encompassing article. I am printing it out and reading it every morning to remind myself that I can make the right choice, the more difficult choice and the choice of happiness.

thank you so much! such great practical advice that will really help my yom kippur. great article, great suggestions

I have learnt a great deal from this eye-opening article. If all humans, and not only Jews were to live by this knowledge, the world would have become a better place to live.

The letter was written as if I was writing it myself and so to the points that we take for granted. A Happy New Year and a meaningful fast to everyone and may you all be blessed with what you deserve.

Due to illness, I am unable to go to temple today. Your article helped me participate in the day I consider most sacred and significant of the year. I am Jewish by choice, and you've helped me feel connected to my faith even though I cannot be with my congregation today. Thank you.

This is a really nice article. It would be great if there was a version for middle schoolers (tho with my kid it would have to be in the form of text messages or IMs to get her to read it).

I am taking on board the things you said and added much of it to my own. You have made this so much easier to undersatand. Thank you for sharing

Thanks for a great article. Probably every point you brought up spoke to me. Good job.

Thank you for posting this. I''ve felt so spiritually disconnected from judaism due to my secular upbringing and some bad experiences with pushy ultra-orthodox "recruiters" who focused more on the minutiae of following the rules and less on big picture spirituality.

I have modified and added to the list, and just through that process I have begun to feel a stronger connection to God and to Jewish spirituality.

I want to apologize right now to the Aish Rabbis and to God - two years ago I was at your young people''s Kol Nidre at Petroff Gallery. I was in the middle of a breakup with my girlfriend at the time, and she phoned me in the middle of the service. I took the call, and walked out, jumping in a taxi to go see her and try to win her back.

I would like to atone for this by actually doing Yom Kippur properly this year - I hope that you forgive me and that I am welcome back.
Thank you.

Sam

Thank you for the paradigm shift and for giving me the words I need for my prayers. I have been stuck and self-blaming and other-blaming for so long. Shana tovah.

Work on helping others and giving to Jewish Charity. Put Greed out of your life.

Category: Ingathering of the Exiles HaShem, please inspire those of us still living [existing] in the galut to make aliyah, and enable us to be able to fulfill this mitzvah ASAP.

Great article - thank you. We all get stuck, mired in circumstances and mindsets in various ways at various times in life. Just reading this article brings about a small change, and hope. How satisfying, wonderful to consider we recieve "the gift of kapara, and with it heavenly assistance to......change many details in life". May we all become new people as the Creator intends.

This was a wonderfully written article and one I enjoyed reading. So many of the things you wrote are what I too will ask Hashem to help me with. Thank you!

What an incredible article just in time for the 10 days of Repentance. Thank you! Thank you!

This lovely article encourages us to ponder serious life issues and consider thereby the real possiblility of bettering ourselves. In doing so for our own satisfaction, rather than to impress others of our greatness, we open the likelihood of coming closer to Hashem.

This article sums up what teshuva really means. I was having such a hard time collecting my thoughts and saying wwhat I really want/need to Hashem. This article put the words in my mouth!! Everyone should know about this article!!

Thank you so much for this incredible article. It was exactly what I needed to read today, and has given me much food for thought. Thank you!

If only people knew that this article exists and take their time at least TO READ IT!Thanks for making me THINK!