Last night I dreamed that I was in my hometown Baltimore, trying to catch a bus to take me to my destination. The bus pulled up and I realized that it wouldn’t take me there after all. Silly me, I thought in my dream, you don’t take buses in Baltimore. Of course, the city has public transportation, but I’d grown up in suburbia where everyone has a car.
When I woke up, I realized what my subconscious mind was telling me: I want to be back in Baltimore, where things are safe and I don’t have to worry about taking the bus to my destination. I want to be free of this fear of bus stops and light rail stations and grocery store employees.
Last week I prepared to leave my house to a routine exercise class by bus. Before I left, I heard the horrific news of the massacre in Har Nof. It was too early to know who the victims were. I hesitated before boarding the bus. Should I go? Or should I cower in the safety of my own four walls?
Never mind the fact that those four walls might not be so safe in case of a missile attack. But that was in the summer, and the missiles had struck mostly in the center/south of the country, not in my peaceful Jerusalem neighborhood. I’d felt relatively safe then.
Not so now, when terror attacks have been occurring on a weekly basis in Jerusalem. The light rail, which I use routinely, has been stopped in its tracks more than once, its stations targeted. I live in Neve Yaakov, in the north of the city, and taking the light rail to town means passing through Shuafat, then along Route 1, bypassing the neighborhoods of East Jerusalem that are also serviced by our train.
My 10-year-old is going to his weekly swimming lesson. He usually walks to the pool, 10 minutes away, with a friend. The friend’s mother calls me half an hour before they’re supposed to leave. “Are we letting them go alone today?”
“No, I guess not,” I say. Not with Arab construction workers swarming the neighborhood. Who knows when someone will get into his head to do repeat performance of any one of the terror attacks of the last few weeks on innocent children? We arrange that she’ll walk the two of them to the pool and I’ll walk them home. This is Jerusalem, after all. Some of my neighbors own cars, but most of us make our way around the city on public transportation or by foot.
Another morning, my son and I go out for an appointment. He’s returning to school afterwards and I’m going to run an errand in town. I escort him to the bus stop and wait with him until the bus arrives. This is Jerusalem, after all. We allow 10-year-olds to ride buses by themselves, especially in broad daylight and when they’re traveling a route they know well. I’ve done it countless times before.
I watch him board the bus, my heart in my throat, and then turn to the light rail station that’s 10 meters away, the spot where baby Chaya Zissel Braun was killed three weeks ago. Only half-joking, I tell him, “You pray for my safety, and I’ll pray for yours.”
We both make it to our destinations, thank God.
Last week, four upstanding members of the Har Nof community were slaughtered as they recited their morning prayers. Two others are still in the hospital, their lives hanging in the balance. I knew one of the terror victims personally: Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Goldberg, a kind and gentle soul, was my boss at Targum Press for three years. The other three I knew only through friends and neighbors. But the Jerusalem world is small enough that we all seem connected this week.
I went to pay a shiva call on the Goldberg family. Signs in the elevator of the building, in the hallway, and in the house itself proclaim, in English: “The Goldberg family accepts God’s will and asks that their privacy be respected and no interviews be conducted.”
The house is packed with teary-eyed friends, neighbors, and total strangers wishing to extend their condolences. I listen to the family share their memories of their father, alternately laughing and crying as they reflect on their loss.
Standing near me in the crowded room is a blond young woman with a baby who speaks English with an Israeli-South African accent. She’s there with her mother and sister. They’re the family of Dahlia Lemkus, the 26-year-old girl killed at a bus stop in Gush Etzion two weeks ago. They don’t know the Goldbergs at all, but now they’re connected. They’re family.
I express my amazement that these brave women are here just a week after having sat shiva under such tragic circumstances themselves. “We feel that the attack in the synagogue wasn’t a personal thing. It was against all Jews,” the young woman explains. In this bookcased-lined, Har Nof living room, jam-packed with visitors, the divisions in Israeli society have fallen away.
My childhood in Baltimore was certainly calmer, less tension fraught, less frightening than my life today. But as I leave the Goldberg home, I realize that there’s a reason I’m living here in Jerusalem and not anywhere else in the world. This city, this country, where I’m surrounded by Jews and where we all feel God’s presence even in the face of tragedy, is where I belong. This is my home.
(8) Debbie, November 29, 2014 9:08 PM
I'm about to make Aliya from Australia in 4 weeks to live in yerushalayim. Whenever my fear overcomes me I remind myself that Hashem runs the world and not the terrorists and we are all just pieces of Hashems plans Hashana hazot biyrushalayim (this year in Jerusalem)
(7) Anny Matar, November 29, 2014 11:07 AM
My sincerest condolences to all the famylies who share our life.
I'm too old to visit you in Jerusalem, being 88 a Holocaust survivor,, can only tell you that my heart goes out to all who have suffered, are suffering and have to live fighting to heal the loss of their loved ones. This is an unending of survival we fight here. For us, those who have been here since 1944, it all seems like a reel in movies, everything goes round and round.
It is so wonderful that you, who have joined us lately, to feel that this is home, a continues battle-field but home where everyone celebrates the same Holy Days, we share joy and sorrow, we simply share. My children and grand-children have served in the army which we have served in. At that time everything was in its "nappies" (so to say), the realization that we're fighting for OUR country was beyond comprehension but what we gained then has never been accepted by the around us. The world never changed their feelings of hatred reminds me of my childhood, our neighbors never accepted our existence but, against all odds, wonderful people like you join and grow your child up as a free human being. Proof AM ISRAEL HAI, Thanks to the likes of you and the families who lost their most precious.
(6) nouri, November 28, 2014 6:57 AM
be brothers better
plastiene and jew people continu to entrekilled for nothing the land is beyond to god and himself creat humain being to be in ,is better to live in peace as sisterand and brother for the good futur of next generation and don t herited them hatery and anmity please every one help for establishing pease in both side they are all creation of god tha everyone is envolve stop the killing if you are humain being
(5) Anonymous, November 27, 2014 8:57 PM
Thank you - I was very moved by this article.
It expresses the fact - and how true it is - that although we may feel secure in our hometowns, Eretz Yisrael has it's own unique shmira
(4) DeVora Clark, November 27, 2014 4:13 PM
Christians who also Grieve for the Jews
My heart is also in Israel, for the Jewish people, and for those that love Israel according to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, for this precious land belongs to HaShem, and I love the God of Israel.
(3) Gila Arnold, November 27, 2014 8:03 AM
Beautiful!
A really stirring article! Thanks!
(2) Anonymous, November 27, 2014 12:11 AM
thanks
thank you for the nice article. It really resonated with me. The "safety" of Baltimore and yet the true safety of the Jewish people. really quite beautiful
My only question: Were there any people from Har Nof at Dahlia's shiva? "the divisions in Israeli society have fallen away" - is that true? It seems that with the dati-leumi and chareidi communitiys, it's a one way street...just curious if you know anyone from har nof that went to pay a shiva call after Dahlia's horrendous murder.
Again, thanks for your article; I really appreciated it.
Anonymous, November 27, 2014 7:26 PM
http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Haredi-woman-arranges-free-bus-travel-to-funeral-of-slain-Druse-police-officer-382254
Rivka, November 27, 2014 8:04 PM
Dalia's shiva
Dear Anonymous
I am a daughter of one of the murdered.
You ask if any of us in Harnof went to Dalia's family? Firstly, please, I beg you, do not incite hatred by asking this question, we are all working on ahavas Yisroel. The answer is Yes. But we didn't go, despite the fact that we cried for her loss. We didn't go bc our Father was worried for us to go to an area that by some is considered a 'makom sakana', & kibbud Av comes first.
I actually don't know anyone in Harnof (although I dont know everyone here!) who has issues with Dati Leumi, or even non-frum. We may have issues with Zionism, but not with the wonderful people themselves.
My Father had a tremendoes Ahavas Yisroel & treated all, including non-Jews, with tremendous mentchlichkeit. All four men were like that, it feels like they were a korban/kapporah for our sinas chinom. But from now on, let us only talk of ahavas chinom, let us banish all stupid & senseless hate from our midst. Those four men (I knew 3 well) were beloved men and they loved others, across the spectrum, let us follow in their ways.
By the way, Dalia's family came to us & we were just talking this morning about how we'd love to have them over. We love Yidden, please, no more negative comments.
May we all only know of simcha.
Anonymous, November 27, 2014 8:32 PM
Yes, chareidim love and care for all Jews
I'm a chareidi woman and I still grieve about Dahlia's beautiful smiling face and her life tragically cut short. I can assure you that chareidim were devastated with Dahlia's horrendous murder just as we were with the murder of the Fogel family a few years back hy"d and our boys Eyal, Gil-ad and Naftali, and all the precious soldiers this summer in Gaza. You can search the internet for pictures of the Belzer Rebbetzin being "menachem avel" Mrs. Rachel Frankel and the letter which Rav Chaim Kanievsky sent to the families of the kidnapped boys. You will also find Charedi students of the Mir Yeshiva spending their lunch break making tzitzis for their peers on the front lines. Ever since the times of the midbar, it has been the custom of the Jewish people to send some out to battle, while others fight on the spiritual front, arming their brothers with the merits of prayer and Torah study. May H-shem soon avenge the blood of His servants,
E, November 28, 2014 2:47 AM
I have no doubt there were
Thousands of chareidim attended many of the levayot and shivas of the many murdered al kiddush Hashem, from all walks of Jewish life-- as well as the Druze police officer killed last week. I have no doubt that Dahlia's family felt that love, and that is why they attended this shiva as well. May we all continue to increase in unity of Klal Yisrael.
Yehudit, November 28, 2014 3:42 AM
Not fair
Not a fair question and only fans the flames of division. The point was the joint tragedy that drew them together. Had the murders been switched then surely the Haredi families of Har Nof would have done as the lemkuses did. And what difference does it make?
Sides don't always move towards each other at the same time. Peace occurres when two sides connect. It doesn't matter who went first.
ekr, November 28, 2014 10:15 AM
Dear Anonymous,
Is this really the time to stir up an agenda? Dati vs Haredi?
How about emulating Dahlia's family, and the widows call for ahavat yisroel....
SHANI, November 29, 2014 6:07 PM
how can you generalize!?!?
you want someone to stand at the doors of any shiva house, and check what their kippa looks like?!?!
doesn't that sound a bit superficial?
I'm SURE that charedim went to pay a shiva call
just like at the Goldbergs, it was 1/2 people
it may have gone by unoticed
Jewish Mom, December 1, 2014 7:34 AM
You are mistaken
I'm sorry that you feel that way.
"As water reflects the face, so does a person's heart reflect another's." Proverbs 27:19
Maybe self-examine to see if you are reflecting negative feelings in your heart onto the chareidi community. Examine if the chareidi community did or did not participate the all of Am Yisrael throughout these years whenever tragedy has struck. Did they participate in prayer and self-improvement for the merit of Nachshon Wachman? For Eyal, Naftali and Gil-ad, as others pointed out? Does Zaka not treat every Jew the same - with the utmost care and respect? Does Rabbi Elimelech Firer and Rabbi Benny Fischer not treat all Jews the same? And how about Rabbi Arie Munk, the chareidi, with Bayit Cham mental health services in major religious centers including the Shomrom? And Ezer Mitzion's services, Yad Sarah - all these are headed by chareidi people who serve all of Klal Yisrael. And on a more personal level, there are many chareidim who reach out to all Jews. It most certainly is not a one way street. I honestly don't believe that there are more brotherly feelings and overtures from the dati leumi community towards the chareidi community. Indeed, the time has come to stop viewing each other as coming from another direction! We may have hashkafic disagreements - and we may feel quite strongly about them - but as Rivka pointed out, this has nothing to do with the individual. We are all brothers and sisters, we all share one fate and we need to love each other and always be there for each other, as we strive, each on his/her personal path, to come closer to Hashem. Many Jews seem to be on divergent paths - at least that's how it looks in our limited eyes. Picture this: if we all aim to come closer and closer to G-d, our paths will necessarily become closer to each other, because we are all headed to the same central point. May we merit to bond with each other in mutual love. That is exactly what G-d wants of us.
(1) Miriam, November 26, 2014 4:17 PM
Thank you for sharing this beautiful article.
Comforting