It was a beautiful Jerusalem summer day and I had just caught the number 14 bus on my way to meet a friend for dinner. It was the type of day that you’d never believe could end like it did. That day was June 11, 2003, nine years ago when a homicide bomber boarded the No. 14 bus in Jerusalem and blew himself up, murdering 16 innocent people and maiming many more. It was the day that changed my life forever.
I was on that bus.
I remember nonchalantly choosing my seat on the bus, a choice that saved my life.
It feels like yesterday. When I close my eyes I am brought back to the events of that day, which are still so fresh in my mind. I remember nonchalantly choosing my seat on the bus, a choice that saved my life. I remember hearing the sounds of crushing metal and feeling the shockwave as the explosion tore through the bus. I remember immediately shutting my eyes, a seemingly insignificant neurological instinct that saved my sight. And then the moment of eerie silence that followed, a silence so frightening, so telling, silence of those who were dead in every seat around me.
Then I screamed. I screamed so loud that a stranger, who had heard the blast from three blocks away, heard my cries and ran toward the mangled bus and pulled me out. I will never forget the old woman who stood by my side holding me as I was burned, bleeding and frightened. I will never forget the kindness and love that was shown to me by those I had known my entire life and by those whom I had never met.
People are always asking me how surviving a terrorist attack has changed my life, or the lessons I take from the experience. There have been many. I live life differently. I feel that God gave me a second chance and I don’t take that for granted. It was at that moment in the depths of my personal tragedy that I understood that the world may be filled with horrible acts of terror and destruction, but the only way to persevere and to prevail in the face of the horror is to spread kindness and help those in their deepest moments of need. Through those moments Strength to Strength was born, the organization that I founded which is dedicated to assisting victims of terror across the globe by supporting them and bringing them together to overcome long lasting psychological and physical trauma and help move forward with their lives.
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I believe that it is my mission to live a life that promotes everything that is the opposite of what that day stood for. I now understand how truly fragile life is. I realize that I control a lot less than I used to think, but that does not excuse us from doing our absolute best. My mission has become to empower people, and with that mission I have traveled the world to many countries that have been impacted by terror, where I have met some of the most amazing people. I know that our paths would have never crossed except that a common experience has brought us together.
My mission is to live a life that promotes everything that is the opposite of what that day stood for.
The most important thing I have learned over the years is that connecting to other survivors is a vital component to moving forward. One survivor in particular has become such a close friend that I cannot imagine my life without her. Three years ago I received a phone call from the State Department in Washington, DC telling me that there was an American who had survived Mumbai, living and working in Amsterdam. She was looking to connect with other survivors with a similar experience. I previously offered to assist any American victims of international terror who needed support.
We connected on a deep level during the first few minutes of the phone conversation, which lasted over two hours. Now she is like family to me. She’s the one person who will understand my feelings right after I hear about a terrorist attack somewhere in the world and someone to share my concerns and provide perspective on life. We both come from different backgrounds, different cities, different religions but our experience and our shared mission has bonded us for life.
I recently returned from a trip to Israel. They are no longer just vacations. Half my trip is spent visiting the people who, on the day of the bus bombing, opened their hearts and their worlds to me and have been my family ever since. “Nu?” they said to me. “Have you been riding the buses while you are here?”
“No” I replied.
“Why?”
“Because even though it’s been nine years, I’m still scared.”
“Sarri, you cannot live in fear. A terrible thing happened to you and you have every reason to worry about getting on another bus. But you travel around the world as the head of Strength To Strength telling other victims of terror that they cannot allow their fears to control and dictate the paths for their lives. You cannot allow that either. We are getting on a bus today, and we will come with you.”
That afternoon, on my last day just hours before boarding a flight back to New York, I was back on the bus, on the same route where I would have been on that day, if the bus had continued on its way.
Life is filled with uncertainty, with things that are scary, with challenges the size of mountains, and with days you just don’t know how you will get through. But life is also filled with strangers who will pull you out of a burning bus and who will hold you while you cry. These are people you have known your whole life and people you never met, who will cross oceans and deserts for you. My life has been filled with both, and it is the combination of the two that reminds me daily that I am alive, and my work is not yet complete. Thank you God for giving me a second chance.
(11) Leeat, August 30, 2012 4:22 AM
Touro Alumni
HI Sarri! It's Leeat. I used to go the Touro Manhattan campus you work at. I did not know your whole story and I had no idea about your experience. Thanks for letting this out of your chest and sharing it with us. Your story may help other terror victims such as the ones I have volunteered with at One Family Fund, that they too are not alone and that there is a beautiful life ahead of them.
Anonymous, September 10, 2012 4:28 AM
Thanks Leeat
Leeat, So nice to hear from you and thank you for commenting. I hope you are doing well and thank you for your support.
(10) Alizah, August 30, 2012 2:48 AM
Maybe I Can Try
I went through the Strathfield Massacre here (In Australia) on 17 August 1991. I was 16. My friend was killed and another friend's father was killed. I hid behind the shop I worked in and since then, I have avoided the mall where it happened (I grew up in Strathfield). Even now, at 37, if I hear a car backfire, I almost cry in fear. I will never forget the bodies being wheeled out past the shop I worked in and the fear I had till I found my mother (Baruch Shem she was unharmed). I often think I'm ok because the nightmares stopped and life has gone on. I have a daughter of my own now and I think for the whole I'm ok. Then I hear of a shooting or bombing somewhere and I cry almost uncontrollably. Will that ever pass? I don't know. Maybe I can try to distance myself from it more than I do now? I hope so. I admire you Sarri for being able to ride the bus again even though it scares you. I can't bring myself to walk inside that mall.
Sarri, September 10, 2012 4:27 AM
Thank You Alizah
Alizah, Thank you for sharing. The most important thing that has helped me is meeting others survivors who inspire me and give me strength to move forward. If you would like to be in touch please feel free to email me at sarri@stosglobal.org. I would love to be in touch with you.
(9) Fanny, August 29, 2012 10:06 PM
Wow!! I read this story and got shivers! I am absolutely in awe of how you went on with your life in the manner that you have. It is absolutely beautiful! You do such good in this world to help those that went through exactly what you went through. You are an inspiration! I wish you all the best in Strength to Strength and in life!
Anonymous, September 10, 2012 4:30 AM
Thank You
Fanny, Thank you for your words of inspiration. Those that I am in contact with are my inspiration and give me the opportunity to continue doing the work I am doing and they are the ones that deserve all the kudos!!
(8) ruth housman, August 28, 2012 11:46 AM
Strength to Strength
Thank you for putting your story down on paper because it's so deep and so filled with that "day" and I wonder sometimes about DEI itself, which means, of God. As a therapist and personally I have experienced a "near Death" mind shaking event, and I think it changes us in every way, hitting at the core of what it is to be alive, and grateful, for another day. I believe we're all here for a reason, and as for those that do not make it, and who die in such tragic, heart rending ways, that they are in a far far better place as souls. Because I see we all take this journey together and are more connected to each other than we ever thought possible Thank you!
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:39 PM
THANK YOU
Ruth Thank you for reading and posting. Thank you for sharing your insight.
(7) Beth Goldsammler, August 27, 2012 4:13 AM
A friend before and after
Sarri, we have been friends for so very many years, and I will truly never forget that day. I woke up to the news about the bus bombing and came up with some arbitrary set of reasons why you could not possibly be on that bus (even when you very like could, and ultimately WERE on board.) Upon receiving word that you were in fact involved in this horrifying attack I held my breath and tried to steady my soul until finally I was able to briefly talk to you on your cell phone in your hospital room. Your words to me on that horrible day ring as true today as ever..."I promise you Beth, I will be OK." I hung up the phone and cried for hours, still though your reassuring words rang in my ears and I knew that ultimately you would be more than OK... YOU Sarri, would be incredible, you'd be inspiring and you'd continue to be the leader that you always were and always will be. I loved you before the attack and I am grateful that that terrible day did not leave our relationship as a mere memory in my mind's eye. You continue to inspire me and to make me laugh through it all - it is truly your gift to the world at large, and I for one, am so proud to have you in my own small world of my own. You are a wonderful friend with an empowering neshama... then, now and always.
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:38 PM
NO WORDS....
Beth, There are no words after reading yet again something so moving from you. You have such a special gift and I hope that you will use it to help others because everyone goes through difficult things in life -- everyone -- its what we decide to do with those difficulties that determine our direction in life. You are an incredible person and friend with an amazing heart and I know you will take your experiences to help others as well.
(6) yisroel, August 27, 2012 1:59 AM
May G-D bless you!
What an amazing chayelet of Hashem - from Strength to Strength!
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:36 PM
THANK YOU
Yisroel thank you so much!!!
(5) Edwin, August 26, 2012 9:09 PM
so cool
So cool you went on that bus. I am a veteran of war and served in South Lebanon as a UN peace keeper in 1980 and suffer from PTSD. I hear of fellow veterans who returned to their mission area, but like you were, I cannot hold it for possible to enter once again the village At Tiri the source of the PTSD.
Nechama, August 28, 2012 12:11 PM
There is hope for PTSD
Edwin, Please look into EFT therapy for PTSD. They have done remarkable things for Vietnam veterans who had not been helped after years of conventional therapy. Good luck and G-d bless.
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:34 PM
WHAT IS EFT
Nechama dont know what that is. Do they only use it for veterans? Just curious.
Anonymous, April 12, 2013 10:54 PM
EFT
Thank you Nechama, but what is EFT for kind of therapy? Edwin
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:36 PM
THANK YOU FOR SHARING
Edwin, Thank you for sharing and for serving to protect innocent civilans. I am sorry you suffer from PTSD and if I can be of any assistance to you in connecting you with some help please let me know. You can visit our website www.stosglobal.org and email me. Our organization only works with civilians but I am personally happy to help if I can. WIshing you lots of luck and peace.
(4) Lisa Aiken, August 26, 2012 8:18 PM
EMDR therapy can change terror victims' lives
There is a therapy called EMDR (eye movement Desensitization and Reprogramming) that can quickly get rid of the terrible symptoms that often otherwise linger for years after a trauma such as a terror attack occurs. Please let terror victims know about this important therapy. They can usually be cured of post traumatic stress disorders in just a few sessions.
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:33 PM
Info about EMDR
Lisa while I appreciate your suggestion to Edwin, EMDR does not work for everyone and does take more than a few sessions and even then I am not sure you are "cured" of PTSD. I did EMDR in Israel 4 months after the attack for 6 sessions and it did not help me. It really depends on many things. For some people it is extremely helpful and for others it isnt. Just wanted to be clear as someone who has done it.
Edwin Hissink, April 12, 2013 10:52 PM
EMDR as PTSD treatment
Hi Lisa, thank you for your suggestion. I was not aware of the comments. Today I went on the internet in search for more info on the At Tiri battle which took place today exactly 33 years ago. I under went EMDR, but unfortunately it did not help me. Mainly, I think, because in order to soften the pain you have to put a possitive thought as an oppostite to what happened and still is relived for the inner eye. I couldn't think of any... PTSD can be softened, but not cured. It comes in mind from time to time and in nightmares it is as fresh as it was when it happened. I just life and cope with it. Anyway, thank you for your suggestion. Edwin
(3) Stephen Hosken, August 26, 2012 7:04 PM
G_d's strength to you.
May G_D be with you always.
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:31 PM
THANK YOU
Thank you so much.
(2) Leah, August 26, 2012 3:04 PM
Unbelievable Sarri. In stepping on a bus again, you are truly a couragious Jewess. You have come a long way and you are growing by leaps and bounds. Continue to grow and live.
Anonymous, August 28, 2012 5:31 PM
THANK YOU
Leah, Thank you for reading and posting....my only prayer is that noone else in the world should have to go through this!!
(1) Rivka Lichtenstein, August 26, 2012 6:43 AM
From strength to strength to "Strength to Strength"
Sarri - you are the true epitome of "m'chayil el chayil" and may you continue to go "m'chayil el chayil" - from "strength to strength!" It's the true strength that you exude AND impart to others that proves who the true coward in such battles are. And no, your work is no where near being done - it has only just begun! May there be no more atrocities in the world to increase the membership of your organization, and may you continue strengthening one another as you prove to the world the stuff you're all REALLY made of! Tilchu M'CHAYIL EL CHAYIL!
Sarri Singer, August 28, 2012 5:29 PM
Thank you for the support
RIvka, Thank you for the beautiful words. Thank you for supporting the work of our organization and especially our Young Ambassadors Program which you helped connect for a very important thing for the young people - being able to talk to their family while being far from home. Thank you for all you do!!!