Here's the thing about Shavuot -- we are celebrating the gift of the giving of the Torah to us, the Jewish people, on Mount Sinai. And since every single one of us, waiting at the bottom of the mountain with eager anticipation of this great gift, is unique, we all receive the Torah in the way we can best understand it. That's what I was explaining to my 7th grade Jewish studies class before inviting them to my third annual Shavuot dinner and late night learning session.
For four years, I was a Jewish studies teacher at a Los Angeles community day school (students are primarily from Reform and Conservative elementary feeder schools), where I started the tradition of inviting students over for a huge Shavuot feast that lasts until 11:45 p.m. The highlights of the evening include my various homemade cheesecakes (a traditional food on Shavuot) and the special guests I bring in to learn with us.
I accidentally started this tradition my first year at this school, when I was explaining to the class about the custom to stay up all night learning Torah on Shavuot as a tikkun (fixing) for the Jews who overslept the morning the Torah was given, instead of staying up all night with anticipation. I guess I made the all-night learning sound pretty cool, because when I jokingly asked if anyone wanted to join my friends and me, three students asked me if they could.
That first year, I had six current students, two former students from another school and about 18 friends. More friends showed up throughout the evening, and when the parents came to pick up their kids, they got caught up in the learning and stayed, too! Eventually, the kids and parents left and my friends and I went to our shul to learn with our teachers for the rest of the night. It was an unforgettable evening.
San Francisco 1995
As I explained all of this to my current class, a mysterious smile crept across my face, as I remembered the first time I celebrated Shavuot . . .
It was 1995, and although I was exploring making Jewish practice part of my life, I hadn't yet made a full commitment to Torah observance. At that time, I was working in the film industry in Los Angeles, never even thinking of becoming a teacher. And I could barely boil water let alone make cheesecake!
I was in San Francisco to see my favorite band, the Grateful Dead. And it was Shavuot.
They told me to stop by after the concert, no matter how late, they'd be up learning.
Over that previous year, I had made some really great friends who were "Deadheads" too, but they were also Torah observant. They obviously weren't planning on being at the concerts, but they were heading to San Francisco that same weekend for Shavuot to learn with one of their favorite rabbis. They wanted me to come with them, but I was determined to see The Dead. So they told me to stop by after the concert, didn't matter how late, they'd be up all night learning anyway, maybe I could do some learning with them.
After an awesome concert, I asked the friend I'd gone with if we could stop by the rabbi's to do some learning. Even though it was 2:30 in the morning, she agreed (after I told her that there might be some nice Jewish guys there!).
I was expecting that it would just be a few of my friends sitting around casually with the rabbi, but when we showed up in our jeans, t-shirts and with "dancing bears" temporarily tattooed on our cheeks, we were very embarrassed. The house was overflowing with people, most of whom I didn't know, dressed beautifully and immersed in the holy spirit of Yom Tov.
In a mortified state, we looked around and quickly headed for the sanctuary of the kitchen. Our sigh of relief turned to dismay when we noticed we were not alone in the kitchen. A young guy with a beard, black hat, Oy! The only "holy" thing about me was my jeans!
Just as we were about to leave not only the kitchen, but the whole experience, the man finished what he was doing and said, "Nu? What was the set list? Was it a Jerry or Bobby opener?"
It's great that you're learning Torah; don't worry about how you're dressed!
My friend and I smiled the biggest smiles! We knew that he wasn't just asking what songs were played in the concert and if Jerry Garcia or Bob Weir sang the first song. We understood in our hearts that he was telling us, "It is great that you have come to learn some Torah and that you shouldn't worry about how you're dressed." We felt better. After all, this holy-roller was a "Deadhead" too!
So we went into a smaller room with some of my women friends who had come up from L.A. and began to learn the most beautiful Torah. We heard what we needed to hear. We understood it the way we could and should, right at that moment.
Every year on Shavuot, I am at a different place with myself and in my relationship to God, and each "receiving" of the Torah seems to magically fit the place that I am at.
My annual Shavuot dinner with my students are always very special. I have a lot of current students, former students and friends over with cheesecake, lasagna and laughter. We go around the table and everyone speaks about why the Torah is important to them. I watch with a smile as my friends' expressions revealed their awe at my students' lovely, deep answers. And I realize that for every Jew, "receiving" Torah is the greatest gift of all.
(42) Marsha Meyer, June 8, 2019 3:58 PM
G-d is everywhere and in every one of us!
Loved your article and looking forward to reading your book!
(41) Laurie, May 28, 2017 3:10 PM
Deadheads
I cant vouch for this story but it's been told in my town many times over the last few decades so I suspect that it's true.
A few young travelers were having a Shabbat meal at the home of an observant family. The conversation came around to the Grateful Dead and it turned out that all were fans. The travelers said "yeah, there's always something wild at a Dead concert. One time in xxxx (don't remember the city) a couple got up on stage and got married there!
The host couple looked at each other and said "that was us."
(40) ruth housman, May 24, 2012 5:19 PM
Terrapin Station
Actually I think the joke is on us as The Dead ARE grateful and this is a story about soul and the trsnsmomigration of souls and the MOM in this as in the word upside down is W O W! Remember the turtle dove in songs of peace & how slowly the turtle does move. Of time and the River. In exist IS exit. It's not over when, it's over. How do I know? God keeps telling me so and the keys are in the words across Babel.
(39) Brenne Meirowitz, June 7, 2011 9:02 PM
Thank you Batsheva!
I shared this article with my friend on facebook. I'm also an observant Deadhead! Chag Samayach!
(38) ruth housman, June 3, 2010 7:04 AM
dead heads
Hi, your very sweet article, and, by the way, I still love those songs and though I wasn''t quite the groupie, I think this group was fabulous. Yay, Cherry Garcia ice cream! I am reminded of the term, deadheads for another reason, and that is, the garden. I am an avid gardener. As you might know, picking off the deadheads, of those spent flowers, is important to ensure that the energy of the plant goes into producing more flowers or it will go to seed. So I am constantly doing this, particularly with the Cosmos (another metaphor?) I self-identified with the sixties and now, being in my Sixties, there is a nostalgia for those times of vibrant social action... It was when I came of age, meaning it was a time of great social protest and social ferment here in the US. due to a war that was felt by so many, especially the young, to be unfair: Hell No, We Won''t Go! The songs of that generation were the songs of freedom. I think it''s great to be reminded of this at Shavuos. You were welcomed to the group to study, despite your somewhat grubby appearance. But what''s most important is the spirit. The greatest gift of all is adherence to principles of tikkun olam and I think you were a breath of fresh air. Remember, The Answer is Blowing In the Wind (Bob Dylan).... for us all.
(37) Arapeta, June 3, 2010 7:04 AM
Whats Frum?
Really enjoying the real stories of people being drawn to our Creator. I''m pretty new to the Jewish faith. What do people mean by "Frum?"
Josh, June 7, 2011 8:23 AM
Frum
It means "pious" or "devout." Someone who lives out the Torah in dedication. It can also be used as a backhanded compliment, much like the "holly roller" can be, as mentioned in the article. I know, I'm like a year late- but better late than never, right?
(36) Anonymous, June 3, 2010 7:03 AM
Those were the days my friend ....
OOOOHHHh, Dead'', Stones, Jefferson Airplane, Fairport Convention. Thanks Batsheva for the sweet article. Now being frum, I now & then still sweetly remember those days which for me were actually the 60''s, 70''s & early 80''s with a bit of nostalgia that gets cut off with a guilt feeling, "Hey fella that''s a no-no", but.... Thanks Betsheva, especially for mentioning that there were frummers who were "deadheads". I would really like to hear from others who like me were "into the scene" back then & today are frum & still have the sweet-nostalgia of those days. Share memories, maybe even knew each other way back. No woo-woos, or new-age etc please. you can contact me at webdoar@gmail.com Batsheva you''re invited to write too. Best to all & Hhag Sameahh "Medic!"
(35) Brian, June 3, 2010 7:03 AM
Probably a Bob opener...
How nice. A Jerry opener in 95 would have been memorable for all the saddest reasons, since he passed only several months after Shavuot.
(34) Anonymous, June 3, 2010 7:02 AM
Gratefull Dead & Rolling Stone.
It sure is strange that AISH is publishing articles titled Grateful Dead & Rolling Stone. WIERD? don't you think! "GREAT" news!!!! I Listened to an Awesome radio program today on Albert Einstein. Very interesting stuff (Gravity makes light bend). I'd like to read some more information about it. With in seconds hearing of Albert my mind reflected back to the Creation Story. WOW! now thats remarkable IMAGINE GOD Creating the Universe in "SIX" days. (WITH OUT TIME). now thats "SPACE" know what i mean. I HOPE AISH starts discussing "EINSTEINIAN" . Thanks Aish for keeping things interesting.
(33) Dov, June 3, 2010 7:02 AM
The magic of music
Nice story! I also used to go to Dead shows, many many years ago, and they certainly capture the power of music that Judaism relates to as well. I've linked to your article on my blog, and added some more comments there: harrypottertorah.blogspot.com/2007/05/shavuot-and-grateful-dead.html
(32) Anonymous, June 3, 2010 7:01 AM
Six day war
The six-day war was a miracle because it was exactly Ha Shems time for the reunification of Jerusalem.
(31) Helaine Levitt, June 3, 2010 7:01 AM
beginning to appreciate/learn at age 50
Simply: Thank You to Batsheva Hirschman Frankel. I grew up a secular Jew...My individuality and ability to make individual choices are essential to the core for me; however, I am about to strenthen and empower myself and my greater Jewish family by attending and celebrating this coming Tuesday night---!!! I was raised to respect humanity, I respect all people of Faith---now...it dawns on me to preserve my tradition in a way that is true to me--- is to honor myself and to share and bring Honor to- G-d, the Universal - G-d, the creator...of Love&... of me!!! Shabbat Shalom---
(30) judy, June 3, 2010 7:00 AM
Grateful Living
A great read! Can actually visualize the scene, and the sentiment. So, this Shavuot wishing you a gratefuliving. Btw....was it a Jerry or Bobby opener?
(29) barbie glass, June 3, 2010 7:00 AM
Batsheva Frankel is my niece, and what a lovely surprise to see her writings in Aish.com! Her writings have a lot of depth and commitment .
(28) Anonymous, June 3, 2010 7:00 AM
nb: at age 76, uninterested in adopting more piety,but still interested in finding out more about J. tradition.
(27) Gail Klein, June 3, 2010 6:59 AM
Great! Brought back memories
Having lived in the Bay Area and studied with a few favorite rabbis there, I really want to know which rabbi was holding that Shavuot study session, and who was that Deadhead in the kitchen?
(26) Hojo, May 2, 2008 10:19 AM
its ok
The dead are amazing musicians take them for what they are, certainly do not criticize them for what they are not. Think about it these holy rollers were dead heads and they still understood Torah and chasidut.
(25) Anonymous, June 3, 2006 12:00 AM
Thanks. Most interesting.
(24) B. Zalman Rosenthal, May 29, 2006 12:00 AM
So Close But Yet So Far
My personal take is that the Grateful Dead, especially the songwriting team of Garcia-Hunter, are a perfect example of how close one can come to great spiritual insight and still miss the mark. A lot of the words are words of insight and seeking. Unfortunately, they miss the mark and only ask the right questions without providing the answers. The most unfortunate thing is that not only does the Dead represent the quest without the answer, but they are also are the classic case of the artist whose own lives are a mess. (While the life of the artist isn't necessarily a reflection of their ability to have insight, one is better off having their insight and being psychologically well. Hopefully that's where Yiddishkeit comes in) "If I knew the way, I would take you home......" So, for us Jews, the way is G-d, Torah, Mitzvas etc. We know the way..........come home!
(23) Nomlas Fisher, May 28, 2006 12:00 AM
" thats why I know theres a G-d "
Shalom; The title of the authors book begs the ???s, was there any doubt to begin with? Did she have any doubt,and if so, Why? Have a Great Shavuot! from Vancouver, Canada, yours truly, Nomlas Fisher, Shalom
(22) shoshi, May 28, 2006 12:00 AM
movies are really great
Do you other great 1 minute movies of each chag,e.g.shavuos,trying to get children very interested in torah.Do you have jewish musicals or religious jewish music sites etc,like shweki,fiddler on the roof.would love more like the channukah one,with literacy movies speaking out loud
(21) Chana Silverman, May 28, 2006 12:00 AM
Shavout and the Greatful Dead
This article really made me smile - as I found a spiritual connection going to G.D. shows also, and have become more and more observant over the years. I think Jerry must have been an "honorary Jew" or became a righteous Gentile over the years as he grew and learned. Even a non - D.H. who was listening to a tape of mine commented - I had no idea their music was so spiritual!!!! Shalom all.
(20) Anonymous, January 1, 2006 12:00 AM
Put our tribe on Tribe?
You've really hit a chord! It seems to me there must be enough of us around to constitute a community within a community -- and that a) it would be great to get together (Batsheva, will you organize a Shabbaton?) b) ditto, to have a way to stay connected, via something like Tribe and c) if we were on Tribe, like-minded Jews who have not yet found their way back to Torah could find their way, through us! I hate knowing that there are sensitive, vibrant, spiritual Jews out there hungry for what we have, and that we could be doing so much more to reach out to them. I was inspired even before I saw Aish's "Inspired". We've got to find ways to connect to the people who still are as we were - the ones who could be voted "least likely to become a frum Jew." We can be a bridge between the worlds for them. What do you say?
(19) Grateful Dave, December 29, 2005 12:00 AM
Too funny
I was in tears of laughter during your "kitchen scene!" I met my kosher-keeping wife in '96, when i might have otherwise been on summer tour. I guess my path needed Jery's passing to meet my b'shert. When I get confused, I still listen to the music play. Check out http://www.archive.org/audio/etreelisting-browse.php?cat=Grateful%20Dead for streaming audio during your Torah down time! It's just amazing where you can get shown the light....
(18) Stanley Gemmell, December 27, 2005 12:00 AM
Very Nice
It is heartening to hear from people not afraid to mix it up. Your article empowers all those who experiment but still need the reinforcing love from the main stream! Thanks!
-Stanley
(17) Samuel C.G. White, June 12, 2005 12:00 AM
RIGHT ON TIME
YOUR TIMING FOR THIS ARTICLE COULD NOT NAVE BEEN ANY BETTER ! !
(16) Reuven Resnicoff, June 12, 2005 12:00 AM
also former deadhead, do you listen to Chaim Dovid?
I'm 51 years old, frum, black hat and all, been from since 1980, and also a former deadhead. Very nice article.
(15) Anonymous, June 11, 2005 12:00 AM
name of shul?
Hi, nice story! what's the name of the shul/organization that Batsheva walked into in SF? it just seems like a salient point that's been ommitted. Chag Sameach!
(14) BUCKY JR., June 8, 2005 12:00 AM
MORE LIKED MINDED PEOPLE!
WOW! I too was looking for spirituality through the DEAD PHISH AND MULLINS AND EKOOSITIC HOOKAH, and ended up finding it with HASHEM. IF you havn't been able to tell ,a lot, I mean I lot of Bahl teshuva's were dead heads B'H' I am Happy to be here. Thank's for the article. If your not torah observant (yet) you will be. My bracha to all of those not yet there : May your trip not be so strange and May HASHEM help you up the mountain this Shavout.
(13) Trilby Smith Hanek, June 7, 2005 12:00 AM
Looking forward to Batsheva's book!
The article on Shauvot and The Dead is a warm reminder for me to always be welcoming to seekers, regardless of their appearances. I'm looking forward to reading Batsheva Hirschman Frankel's book!
(12) Sam Schwartz, June 7, 2005 12:00 AM
Liked the article
It was interesting to read about somebody who enjoys both Judaism and the Grateful Dead music. Most people I meet at Dead type music-ie-Ratdog, Phil Leach & Friends and "new"Dead-shows who are Jewish are into the music not being Jewish.I am a semi observant Conservadox Jew. I go to shul most Shabbat mornings but am not shomer shabbat. I go to both my Conservative shul and Chabad next door. I am davening often lately as I have to say kaddish at least once a day for my recently deceased mother(2.12) but it has become rote as I daven quickly to keep up with the men. My brother-in law's family's friend , Irma recently died. I have not seen them in years. They got observant and was involved with Aish Ha Torah in Jerusalem. When I visit my Dad in Las Vegas some shabbat mornings I daven at a Aish Ha Torah shul on West Sahara Ave. Is that shul related to your organization? Have a Happy and meaningful Shavuot. SAM
(11) Star, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
I can relate...
Thank you so much for your story. I too was a Deadhead at one time (I guess I'm still a "hippie" of sorts even now) and went along many spiritual paths seeking G-d before I found my true home in Judaism. When I first started to attend synagogue I felt a little out of place, afraid that because I look a little offbeat (I'm also an artist) I might not be accepted by the Jewish community. The warmth of my Rabbi and of the congregation where I attend synagogue made me feel welcome, at home, and encouraged.
(10) andy, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
grateful dead related story in jerusalem
enjoyed the article. following comment may be of interest. was a deadhead from approx 1967-1972 or about the time of the american beauty album and then went in other directions musically although still enjoy hearing some dead tunes on occassion. back in 1983 i was managing a tee shirt store in jerusalem[selling among other things shirts with band names and logos [grateful dead included]in hebrew and english] and would sometimes offer a free shirt to any customer who could and would sing mountains of the moon, or another dead song that would come to mind.anyway, one day i proposed that challenge and a lady tourist from long island ny who was browsing in the store looked up and mentioned that her son was a member of the greatful dead. she introduced herself to me as mrs hartman, the jewish mother of dead drummer mickey hart.
(9) ed gold, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
"only love can fill"
ms.frankel.....wonderful story....at some point in our lives things hit us....and that empty cup is filled....with G-d's love...truly a great thing!!!..have a wonderful shavuot!!!.."all good things in all good time"
(8) Mitch Goldberg - Montreal, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
While visiting AISH in Jerusalem years ago, a young Rabbi Glazer commented that he liked my "steal your face" kippah. We spoke later at great length about the Grateful Dead experience and its implications for Jews. A cooler more in-touch rabbi you will never find. He verified that what I had experienced was real, and added some profound wisdom on the subject.
AISH is wonderful. My life has not been the same since meeting Rabbi Glazer and Dr Schroeder at AISH Jerusalem.
Thank G-d for AISH !
(7) Chana Levi, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
You never know
What a lovely, heart-warming article. Something similar happened once to
my husband, a baal teshuva and Star Trek fan. He had every episode memorized. After he became Torah -observant he sometimes wondered why his brain still retained the Star Trek memories. Then after he started doing kiruv, he mentioned to the mother of one of his students that Judaism is not an emotionless religion, not like Mr. Spock. She was also a Star Trek fan and delighted that this black-hat, bearded rabbi could share her interest. After comparing their memories of the show they began to discuss Torah. That woman is now a baalas teshuva herself. So you never know when one's secular knowledge can help bring someone to Judaism.
(6) Andrew, June 6, 2005 12:00 AM
Sahvuot and the Grateful Dead
Well, I think Garcia/Hunter said ti best: "Once in a while you can get shown the ligh tin the strangest of places if you look at it right"
P.S. I didn't know Mickey was a jew!
(5) Anonymous, June 5, 2005 12:00 AM
Great article! What a long, strange trip it's been...
(4) Anonymous, June 5, 2005 12:00 AM
Beautiful!
That is such a lovely story. We never know, do we, what the effects are of out words and actions on how others see us and Judaism. I hope the unnamed "holy roller" knows the importance of what he did in helping bring the author to Torah -- kol hakavod, to all concerned!
(3) Selma Kreitman, June 5, 2005 12:00 AM
What a beautiful article, so down to earth with the beauty and wisdom of torah present.
I really enjoyed this article, it is so "down home" and written with depth and also simplicity.
(2) David M. Schwartz, June 5, 2005 12:00 AM
"Once in awhile..."
"Once in awhile you get shown the Light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right..." - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter.
If it weren't for music, I wouldn't have my sense of community, especially amongst the small number of "freaks" who became religious before me. Besides, I'm about 20 years behind on the whole Dead thing, but I have about 84 of living left.
Happy Shavuot, Ms. Frankel. Thanks for the smile you gave me! ;-)
(1) Chana Frazin, June 5, 2005 12:00 AM
thank you!
Thanks for sharing your personal story! As a fellow Deadhead, I really appreciate the article and hearing about your Jewish journey. I too went from Dead tour to inspiration and now live an observant life. But if not for the welcoming Torah observant Deadheads I met along the way, who knows if I'd be here today, living in Eretz Yisrael, reading the Aish HaTorah website on Yom Yerushalim.
Chag Sameach!