Train from Auschwitz to Bergen-Belsen, 1945:
Maniusia Adler was as alone as any human being could possibly be. Her mother and her baby brother had died in the Lodz ghetto. Her three younger siblings had been sent to the gas chambers as soon as they’d arrived in Auschwitz. Her father was gone and she had no idea if she’d ever see him again. Her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - all of them gone.
She was 16 years old.
She rested her feverish head against the hard wooden planks of the train. Suffering from a carbuncle, the Jewish doctor at Auschwitz had already told her that without medical treatment, she would die soon.
“So this is how I am to meet my maker,” she thought. She felt little regret. There was nobody left to live for.
Until…
“What’s your name?” a girl on the train asked.
“I’m Maniusia Adler from Pabianice. I’m the only one left from my family.”
“I’m Cipa Relkowitz and I think I’m as alone in the world as you are.”
The two young girls smiled at each other. They realized they had finally found someone in place of the fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters that they’d lost.
In the bowels of Bergen-Belsen, Maniusia and Cipa became true soul sisters.
After arriving in Bergen-Belsen, Maniusia managed to miraculously survive her illness. There, in the bowels of humanity in Bergen-Belsen, Maniusia and Cipa became true soul sisters. They shared everything they had with each other, down to the precious toothbrush Maniusia had managed to smuggle into Bergen Belsen.
My grandmother’s work permit from the Lodz ghetto
From Bergen-Belsen, Maniusia and Cipa were transferred to a work camp, Magdeburg. There, Frauline Gertz, a righteous gentile, recruited Maniusia to work in a soup kitchen that she ran. In the soup kitchen, she clandestinely fed the girls that she hired. Since Maniusia was still entitled to a bread ration back in the camp, she gave her rations to her ‘sister’ Cipa, enabling her to survive.
Shortly before the end of the war, Frauline Gertz received word from her workers that they would be killed when they return to camp that evening.
“You must not return to Magdeburg,” Frauline Gertz said. “I will hide you girls. You and your mothers and your sisters.”
Maniusia had no mother. No sister. But she had Cipa.
“But my dear friend!“ Maniusia cried.
“I’m sorry,” Frauline Gertz said. “I have to draw the line somewhere. I cannot save your friend.”
Maniusia couldn’t abandon Cipa. She went back to the camp that evening to be killed along with her.
Thankfully, Magdeburg was not liquidated. Instead, Maniusia and Cipa were led on a Death March for days on end, finally locked in a warehouse where their captors disappeared. On May 8, 1945, Maniusia and Cipa were liberated together.
They returned to Poland to see if there were any surviving members of their families, but they couldn’t find anyone to speak for them. Poland was still a dangerous place for the Jews and two women, alone in the world, were easy targets. Every day they went to the municipality, searching through lists of names, hoping to find some trace of a surviving relative.
One day, Maniusia was approached by a woman named Paula, a neighbor from before the war.
“Maniusia,” she said. “You are no longer alone. I will take you home with me.”
She offered Maniusia a warm bed, warm food and warm words. But Maniusia couldn’t leave.
“Please,” she said. “My friend Cipa here, she is the right arm and I am the left. Can you take her too?”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Paula said. “I barely have one extra bed, barely have food for one extra mouth. Feeding you will already be a brick on my head. Two of you? Impossible.”
Maniusia thanked Paula. “But I cannot leave without my friend,” she said. “I am nobody and she is nobody, but together, we are a little bit of somebody.”
Paula left, leaving the two girls alone, once again.
One day, Cipa and Maniusia were doing what they always did – searching the world for someone to love, someone to love them, when they heard a voice calling for Cipa. She turned around.
“Feter Shloime!” she cried.
Cipa’s uncle had returned and the two rejoiced.
“I thought I had nobody left,” her uncle said. “You must come and live with me.”
She had lain across the butcher’s board twice for Cipa, when Cipa had no intention of doing it for her.
Cipa looked at Maniusia and she could already see the guilt in her friend’s eyes. Times were difficult. He could not take on another burden.
“This is my chance,” Cipa said. “I’m going with him.”
Cipa left with her uncle, leaving Maniusia alone in the world again.
That night, Maniusia slept fitfully. It was hard for her to believe that she had lain across the butcher’s board twice for Cipa, when Cipa had no intention of doing it for her.
Maniusia managed to continue to survive without her dear Cipa. She was eventually tracked down by a surviving aunt and uncle in Paris. They obtained a visa for her to Santa Domingo which enabled her to travel to Paris to join them. Shortly thereafter, she married their son, her first cousin, Ari Adler. Maniusia and Ari made Aliyah to Israel, eventually emigrating to the United States where they raised a beautiful family. Today, Maniusia is the proud mother, grandmother and great-grandmother of numerous Jewish descendants.
My grandmother, today
Only recently, I was interviewing my grandmother Manusia (now Miriam Adler) for a book I was compiling about her life. When she told me the chilling story of her and Cipa, I gasped.
“How terrible!” I said. “Did you ever see her again after that?”
My savta smiled. “But don’t you know who Cipa really is?”
I shook my head. She revealed the true identity of Cipa Relkowitz. It was the name of a dear and close friend of my grandmother’s, someone I’d known since I was a small child!
“I changed her name for the book,” she said. “I was afraid she might be embarrassed if the story were to go public with her real name.”
“But how could you possibly remain friends with her after the way that she abandoned you?” I asked her.
My grandmother shrugged. “Who was I to judge her?” she asked. “Everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Her way wasn’t necessarily my way. I forgave her.”
How many of us are loathe to forgive misdemeanors far less egregious than what transpired between Maniusia and Cipa?
How often do we expect to be treated in the same way that we treat others?
How often are rifts caused because we are holding someone up to some external measuring stick that we’ve concocted?
What would it take to let go of our preconceived notions of the way people should behave?
Can we entertain the possibility that everyone comes with their own unique set of circumstances and that it is not our place to judge someone else’s actions?
How different would our lives and our relationships be if we could forgive – not from a place of understanding – but from a place of accepting that everyone has their foibles, some greater than others?
Maniusia and Cipa’s lifelong friendship is testimony to the power of pure, untainted, forgiveness.
Yael's book, I Promise You – the story of her grandmother, Maniusia Adler's survival of the Holocaust – is now available with Israel Bookshop. This book, written in the present tense from the perspective of a teen, takes a unique and poignant slant on a story that should never get tired of being told.
(16) Jack S. Adler, January 26, 2021 3:25 PM
Contact
My name is Jack Adler, I was born in Pabianice, Poland. I'm Manusia Adler's second cousin. My fathers name was Cemach Adler, Manusia's Fathers name was Itzak Adler. Would to get in touch Manusia or members of her family.
(15) Anonymous, January 3, 2018 8:28 AM
Beautiful story
I disagree with #12. Not only that, I feel something crucial is missing in the story. Let me backtrack first. The word ‘abandoned’ which is written under the title of the story, is to me, misleading. The grandmother Miriam was a totally selfless person. Cipa’s need to go to a relative, after losing the rest of her family, can be understood. Back to why I felt that the word ‘abandoned’ was misleading. My definition of that word means that she left her to manage on her own AND made no effort to track her down after they parted ways. But, further along in the story, you see that they were still in touch, as the author mentions seeing Cipa since she was a little girl. The part of the story we don’t know is how Miriam and Cipa reconnected. Maybe Cipa made the effort to find Miriam? And it very well could be that, since Miriam was already asked to go with someone,(Paula) Cipa had hoped that someone else would soon come along and take care of Miriam. And I admire Miriam for forgiving Cipa. I am in the midst of trying to forgive a friend whom I was devoted to much more than she was to me.
(14) Faith, July 28, 2016 8:30 PM
Your story
What a beautiful story of sacrifice and survival and forgiveness. Thank you for sharing this.
(13) Brad, July 28, 2016 3:16 PM
A very touching story
Thank you for writing this wonderful story. It was really compelling and touching. Relationships and friendships are never 50-50 equal and people will always be disappointed when they seek them to be. Your Grandmother was incredibly altruistic, but not everyone can rise to that level. What makes your Grandmother's story so remarkable is that she understood that.
Her friend couldn't rise to her level and your Grandmother did not hold that against her, and thankfully for all concerned they remained friends. In my own life, I almost lost a close friend forever because he decided to date an ex-girlfriend of mine who I still had feelings for. I didn't talk to him for 7 yrs. Fortunately I wised up in time and renewed our friendship (his relationship with her turned out to be fleeting .) My situation in no way compares to the magnitude of your Grandmother's and the fact that your Grandmother could forgive so quickly is testament to what a remarkable woman she is. Thank you again for sharing this story
(12) Anonymous, July 28, 2016 2:07 PM
No forgiveness !!!!!
Should not have forgiven her. Not everyone deserves forgiveness.
Patrick Dempsey, September 2, 2016 7:32 PM
Forgiveness
Only in the case of the 6,000,000 Murdered Jews of The Holocaust can there be NO forgiveness. That remains the domain of 6,000,000 Jews who cannot give their consent. Individuals who have Survived have a God given right to forgive. That is their Humanity
(11) VJ, July 28, 2016 2:57 AM
Forgiveness is divine
Greatly moved by this story. Holding on to anger and resentment does nothing but burns you from within. Instead, forgiveness frees you like a bird!
(10) Leah, July 27, 2016 11:49 PM
My mistake
Yes, that is correct as you stated. My mistake. I stand correct and apologize.
(9) Barbara Segal, July 27, 2016 1:25 PM
A meaningful work about the boundless goodness of the human spirit.
(8) cindy, July 27, 2016 7:30 AM
it's hard to judge...
I dont believe that we can judge the circumstances of Cipa's reunion and decision from our vantage point. We didnt go through the holocaust, lose our entire families, or suffer such trauma.
What Maniusia did was remarkable, also much more remarkable than we can truly fathom. That's what I take away from this story, but to label Cipa's behavior as abandonment...that's unfair.
Chris, July 27, 2016 11:56 AM
You are right, Cindy.
Cipa did a terrible thing - she betrayed her friend; but how can we, who have not suffered in this indescribable way, presume to judge another. If Maniusia can forgive, should not we? And perhaps Cipa DID save Maniusia's life, too - by giving her someone to care for and to cherish, so that at the worst of times, she felt she still have something to live for.
(7) Pascale Raitan, July 27, 2016 6:17 AM
thank you
Dear Yael,
Thank you for another great article,
What perfect timing! As we enter the three weeks and start our preparations for the high holidays, what an accurate message this is.
(6) Bassi, July 26, 2016 7:12 PM
Powerful Reminder
This story left me awe-struck. I imagine not many people today would have the fortitude of your grandmother - to risk their very lives for a friend. But as you pointed out, we don't need to risk our lives, we just need to let go of a little bit of ego. Thank you for the reminder.
(5) Anonymous, July 26, 2016 2:59 PM
I'm really trying
I was married for 25 years and 11 months to a man who was abusive and cruel. I finally got the courage to leave and divorce him. With all my heart I forgive him and wish him well.
Aharon, July 26, 2016 9:28 PM
What courage and strength
To forgive such abuse. May Hashem repay you and bless you 100-fold.
(4) Miriam, July 26, 2016 2:21 PM
Forgiveness and righteousness
Forgiveness may be achieved through a process of personal reflection, prayer, kindness and change. A door to the past hurt is closed and locked. Mercifully, you become a new person, who no longer dwells in bitterness. Thank you Yael for sharing this poignant example of forgiveness and righteousness during the Holocaust.
(3) alan, July 26, 2016 1:38 PM
love and hate
What brings a better outcome, to love all you meet, or hate some if not all you meet?
(2) Fran P., July 26, 2016 1:34 PM
Thank You
Maybe because it's my birthday, maybe because it's time....I felt a lesson from this story that I needed. I grew a little more understanding and forgiveness in my life today. I feel a burden being lifted. Thank You Yael, I shall never forget.
(1) Anonymous, July 26, 2016 1:26 PM
Not according to halacha
The Gemara talks about a more severe case where two Jews are in the wilderness and only one has a bottle of water. The water will only save one of them, and if they both drink, they will both die. What is one to do? The halacha is like Rabbi Akiva and that the owner of the water may keep it - to live, survive based on the verse there it says like your friend - your friend comes second to your own survival. What Cipa did was 100% correct. It is the author's grandmother that was mistaken - she was given two opportunities to save herself and she didn't.
Yael Mermelstein, July 27, 2016 7:24 AM
from the author
Thank you for pointing that out, it is certainly an important discussion. There are so many stories of heroism during the Holocaust where the halachic lines appear to be blurred - people who wouldn't eat non-kosher food though it meant possible starvation, those who risked their lives to smuggle religious items into the camps, etc. I do know that so many of these stories are told, illustrating a certain moral high ground where even though Jewish people had what to rely upon halachically , they chose to hold their faith to an even higher standard. It is not my understanding that these stories are frowned upon, though of course if they would have behaved in strict accordance of Jewish law, that would have been an acceptable alternative. The Rambam in Igeres Kiddush Hashem actually says that if a person sacrifices his life in a situation where he's supposed to save himself he receives great reward and their place is very lofty. Additionally, from the perspective of Jewish law, the case that you quote from the Gemara describes a situation where there is a certainty that the person in question will die, whereas during the Holocaust who would die and who would not was always unexpected and indefinable. Taking my grandmother's story as proof, she went back, in essence "to be killed" but she was not killed thank G-d, proving this very point. Finally, in general I think its impossible to extrapolate to the extraordinary circumstances of the Holocaust. I believe that my grandmother experienced so much boundless hatred that she felt it incumbent upon herself to express just the opposite - unconditional love to the point of being willing to lay down her life. I think this is a pure act of heroism, and even though she didn't have the luxury of consulting a Rabbi at the time, it seems it could be condoned by Jewish Law as well.
Anonymous, July 28, 2016 2:02 PM
Thank you for your response
Thank you for responding to my comments. I was by no means saying that what your grandmother was wrong. I just believe that her friend's actions are judged unfavorably and were one-sided. The friend saved her own life. In the heat of the moment we are all unable to always ask or even practice what we are told given the circumstances we do the best that we can do. Your mention of extreme cases where certain individuals went beyond what was halachically mandated are to be judged on an individual case-by-case basis. They are usually told to inspire and to bring out the best in our people, even under extreme circumstances. They are not meant to be guidelines about what to do in the actual circumstances. I think its important that you're drawing from your grandmother's story courage and strength and that is not to be disregarded. I applaud you for that and teaching others to be inspired. However, being incumbent upon oneself because one feels like it and what the halacha dictates are two different things. One must always be aware of what Hashem wants. Perhaps laying down her life for her friend was not correct halachically, that doesn't detract from the fact that we see that our forebears have tremendous potential, strength and energy to do acts that we strive to achieve in our own lives. This is not the forum for a halachic discussion for what your grandmother did. I was simply pointing out the perspective was a little one-sided when perhaps the halacha actually was in favor of the friend's perspective, and that she didn't necessarily behave incorrectly. Your grandmother is also to be commended for judging her fellow favorably. She performed tremendous mitzvos of not bearing a grudge, finding favor in her friends actions, and judging favorably, especially in the harshest of experiences. For that alone the story is worth telling over. We need more people like that in the world. May we learn from that and eradicate baseless hate.
Pauline Meek, July 29, 2016 12:32 PM
And yet survive she did . . .
Survival is not just the body - it is the soul, too. Mariusia could have had an easier time had she accepted either of the offers; she chose to stay with and support her friend. God blessed her, and she survived and thrived. Perhaps she was a person who was strong enough to have flourished even alone, I think. Cipa, however, could well have perished if she had been abandoned by her friend, who was obviously the stronger of the pair. By staying with Cipa, Mariusia could well have saved her life; she certainly retained her own humanity and the image of God in her own soul by acting in such an unselfish way. She demonstrated God's love - ever true, ever faithful, always forgiving.
I don't know if I could have forgiven such a betrayal - but this lady is obviously of much better stuff than I. I can only bless her and admire her fidelity and courage. Perhaps she was listening to God in those moments when she was tempted to save herself - and God said "Help your friend. She needs you."
And her actions meant that BOTH of them survived.