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Socially Distanced Chanukah

10 Ways You Can Tell If Non-Jews Have Been Hanging Out with Jews

“Bitsy dahling! Whatever did you mean when you called Alistair a shmendrick while yachting?!”

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Coronavirus Questions

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Dedicated in blessed memory of Richard Allen Julis who made us laugh and made us better Jews.
 

A rabbi and an Egged bus driver from Jerusalem both passed away at the same time and both entered heaven together. God welcomed both the rabbi and the Egged bus driver in and took them to a place overlooking a serene valley with beautiful soft rolling hills just beyond.

To the rabbi God said, "My son, do you see that little cottage with the white gate and all the flowers down there in the valley? The one over there just beyond the creek?" The rabbi said he did. God then told him that this was now his heavenly home and this is where he would be spending eternity.

God then turned to the Egged bus driver and said, "My son, do you see that big stately mansion up there in the hills? The one just to the right of the waterfall where the golden path leads up to it?" The Egged bus driver said he did. God then told him that this was now him heavenly home and this is where he would be spending eternity.

With this the rabbi turned to God and with amazement exclaimed that there must be some mistake. "I have been your loyal servant all of my life." He went on to explain to God that he was truly a man of God. The rabbi said, "Hashem, I followed all of the commandments, even to the finest nuances. I never missed a daily prayer. I learned your holy Torah day and night just as you commanded. How can it be that I am to spend eternity in this small cottage when the Egged bus driver gets the mansion in the hills?"

God replied. My son, it is true that you have been my loyal servant. And, both of you have been in a position to influence my children.

However, while you gave your sermons, my children slept. It was while he was driving that they prayed!



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