5. Israeli men are remarkably comfortable with their feet
I just returned from a trip to Israel and there’s no better place in the world. To walk the same streets of our Biblical heroes, to speak their language, to eat their shawarma – it’s a true privilege. Sure, like any country, Israel has its idiosyncrasies, but I’m sure Israelis would have a lot to say about the current mayor of my home town of Toronto so who am I to judge. Nonetheless, I took pictures of a few of those “quirks” and now I’m sharing them with you. It’s your lucky day.
1. Bus drivers enjoy speaking with their friends in the middle of their shifts
In Canada where I’m from, I take the bus occasionally and the drivers seem quite preoccupied with their schedules, their routes, you know, bus driver stuff. In Israel… not so much. Bus drivers seem to be, well, enjoying themselves. They listen to the radio, get off the bus to buy snacks, and stop to chat with their friends. That’s what happened here. A short break to catch up on old times:
2. Israeli stores have very ambitious names
Every store owner likely thinks his products are so good that anyone would want to buy them. In Israel “anyone” apparently includes the messiah. For those of you who don’t speak Hebrew, this store is called “Pitzuchei Mashiach” or “Messiah’s Nuts.” I’m no Israeli marketing expert but I suppose what this is supposed to imply is that these nuts are so tasty that even the Messiah will want to eat them. I don’t know if the Messiah will like nuts when he comes, but if he will, I can vouch: they’re pretty good nuts.
3. Crossing an Israeli street requires patience, and perhaps, short naps
In North America, a pedestrian waits for the traffic signal to turn green and he crosses. But where’s the fun in that? Israeli streets on the other hand are usually composed of multiple increments so pedestrians can look forward to crossing one segment and getting held up by the other two. Personally, I recommend bringing a snack. At crossing one, why not try Messiah’s Nuts and at crossing two, how about Goliath’s Gobstoppers.
4. Charedi men don’t sweat
When I was in Israel it was 35 degrees Celsius (95 F) and I was sun burned and perspiring like a geyser. Not so for the Israeli ultra-orthodox public. Take a look at this rabbi here. He’s wearing approximately twelve layers, standing in the scorching hot sun, and not a bead of sweat. If this is not a proof of God’s existence I don’t know what is.
5. Israeli men are remarkably comfortable with their feet
I get it. Shoes and socks in the summer are a recipe for sweaty feet. But it takes a confident man to just let his toes hang out there for the whole world to see. Well, Israeli men are confident alright. Here’s a pic I took in shul one morning. Two guys and their feet. Ain’t no thing.
6. North American kids set up lemonade stands; Israeli kids prefer rugelach stands
Who doesn’t love a refreshing glass of lemonade on a hot summer day, and when it’s served by cute kid, all the better. Well in Israel, you’ll have to quench your thirst on some rugelach and challah. Sure it’s “different” but it’s just as cute.
7. Israeli cab drivers hate air conditioning
Itzik, I know your air conditioning wasn’t “broken.” Every taxi driver’s air conditioner in Jerusalem can’t be broken at the same time! Is this some kind of sick taxi conspiracy? Why can’t you guys just let us have a few minutes of cool down while you drive us to the old city? Why?!
8. Flushing a toilet in Israel is a moral decision
Israel is a small country in the Middle East where water is scarce. Not surprisingly, conserving water is a patriotic act. So much so that every Israeli toilet has two buttons, one for a small flush and one or a big flush. So before you reach for that lever think long and hard and ask yourself: Do you really need such a big flush?
9. Israelis LOVE duty free
I arrived at the airport at 3am for a very early 5am flight. I could hardly open my eyes, let alone go shopping. The same can’t be said for my fellow Israeli passengers. I have honestly never seen that kind of excitement over any kind of shopping in my life. And these people were absolutely ecstatic to be purchasing chocolate and perfume at three in the morning. I looked at some of the prices and they didn’t look all that impressive to me. Maybe “duty free” loses something in the translation to Hebrew and they mistakenly drop the word “duty.” Any other ideas, because I am all ears.
10. Israel is the Wild West of parking
Back home, I parked in a no parking zone for about 2 minutes while I ran into a store. When I returned, a parking ticket awaited me. In Israel however, you can park wherever your little heart desires. There’s actually an art to finding the most inconvenient spot for everyone else. Take a look at this fellow for example. This is Meah Shearim street which is perhaps the narrowest street in Jerusalem. So narrow that you wonder how a car can even navigate it. Well how about navigating it with a car now parked on the sidewalk:
11. Israeli storeowners hate change
As a consumer in Israel you have two choices:
- Pay with credit card (not preferred, store owners will likely yell at you); or
- Pay with exact change
You have no other option. You may not, for example pay for a package of 12 shekel gum with a 50 shekel bill. That would require the proprietor to give you 38 shekels of change, which he will tell you that he doesn’t have. After you inform him that the smallest bill you have is 50 shekels (the equivalent of about $15, you high roller), he will then “discover” 38 shekels of change. Then he will yell at you. For buying products in his store.
12. Israelis love mopeds
If you lived in a country where it costs around $150 to fill up your car with gas thanks to an Arab boycott, you’d get creative with transportation options too. Public transit in Israel is fantastic, and there’s nothing with a little walking, but how about a moped? It’s great on gas and is just as good as a car, except for the helmet hair. As a matter of fact, Israelis of all stripes love their mopeds including charedi Jews. If you bought into the stereotype that charedi Jews are meek and sit inside all day, don’t. This charedi Jew has a need for speed:
13. In Israel you don’t retire to the beach; you retire to the study hall
Have you seen those retirement commercials where you finally get to sit on the beach and travel the world. Ah, now that’s the life, right? Not in Israel. When you retire, it’s time to head back to the study hall and bone up on your Jewish studies. Come to think of it, this entry isn’t funny it’s actually kind of awesome.
14. Some Israeli stores sell strange merchandise
In one of Jerusalem’s most upscale neighborhoods there is a large piece of land which sells what appears to be jugs. Keep in mind that real estate in Jerusalem is exceedingly valuable. This property is probably worth many millions of dollars. Yet they sell…jugs. You’ve got to sell lots of jugs for that math to make sense. Yet every day I walked by this store and not once did I see any commercial activity. I guess the Israeli jug market’s just not what it used to be.
15. The Squeegee
If Israel had a national cleaning utensil it would be the squeegee. In my travels around the world I have never seen it used anywhere else but it is beloved by Israelis of all stripes and it seems to work. Israelis are often compared to the sabra fruit – prickly on the outside but soft on the inside. I’d like to propose another analogy: Israelis are like the squeegee: their approach to life may appear different but they always get the job done. On second thought, let’s stick with sabra.
(16) Set Lefkow, October 19, 2015 1:52 PM
Hey, you forgot one!
On learning it's my tenth "hitch" in Sar-El (Google it) - the guy at the bread stall in the souk makes me take our picture together each holding one of his loaves -- the lady at the train station giving us "senior discounts" although we're not Israelis -- the guy on the bike who goes out of his way to find an address for us -- the cheroot driver who goes off route to deliver us to the right house on the right street. Need more? I've got a dozen.
(15) Anonymous, May 11, 2015 5:40 PM
I love the "ambitious names", even if Mashiach isn't an example
See the last photo - "Millennum Squeegee". I also cherish examples of creative English spelling!
(14) Eliav, March 1, 2015 6:31 AM
um, no
Guys, the reason the store is called Pitzuchei Mashiach is because Mashiach is the last name of the proprietor. It's actually a fairly common Sephardi name. I have no idea how good his nuts are, but there's no link whatsoever to the coming redemption.
(13) Leah, September 14, 2014 7:13 PM
We Want Mashiach Now!
I think the reason for Pitzuchei Mashiach's Name and the reason a few other Shops in the Areas also have the messiah in their names is that the whole Shopping area there is called Geulah - Redemtion. So it Kind of makes sense that the messiah is at the centre of the geulah. When I was in seminary I used to imagine Mashiach coming to redeem us and rebuild Jerusalem, stepping out of Pitzuchei Mashiach and strolling down the Geulah streets.
(12) nina, July 23, 2014 9:22 AM
#9 You don't know the half of it
In Israel, there are very stiff tariffs on imported merchandise, so the duty free sells- white goods! That's right, when you need a new fridge, book a vacation to Cyprus instead, stop at the duty free before leaving, buy it and they will HOLD IT FOR YOU TO PICK UP ON YOUR WAY HOME. The price difference probably paid for your vacation!
(11) Lisa, July 22, 2014 12:31 AM
A reason to nod and smile
For those who either live in Israel or visit often, we can relate to these idiosyncrasies of everyday life.
Thanks for the observations...giving me a reason to nod and smile during these very trying, painful & difficult days Am Yisrael Chai!!
(10) Yehudis, July 11, 2014 1:39 AM
Loved it and Long for it!!!
(9) Anonymous, July 10, 2014 5:58 PM
ive lived in israel for about 10 years now and most toilets' little flsuher uses the same amout as the big flusher....maybe most places install it wrong...
(8) Nico, July 9, 2014 1:23 AM
Not so strange here!
Here in New Zealand toilets have the same two flushes: half and full. Also: squeegees are the best. I use them for the shower, the kitchen benchtop, the floors, the windows (different squeegees of course!), and keep one in may car for emergencies. They just work so well.
And did this post ever make me nostalgic for Israel!
(7) Anonymous, July 8, 2014 9:35 PM
True in all senses
I loved my trips to Israel. If you have a trip to the Holy Land on your list, make it priority, it worth the investment.
As for buying stuff with change, it makes sense due to credit card fees; however, in my experience an older man offered to pay for my pharmaceutical item but I politely refused. I truly hope not to have had offended him but the gesture itself worth more to me than the value of the purchased item.
Sandals for men...oh, how much I love them!
My recommendation is for you to learn at least some basic Hebrew: Shalom (meaning 'peace' but used as greeting), Todah (read 'toda', meaning 'thank you'), Ken (yes), Lo (no).
(6) Helen Schwab (Chaiah), July 8, 2014 8:25 PM
I lived in Israel for 20 years & yearn to return.
Visit my kids there each year. Love your photos and captions.
Three comments:
1) I agree with comments #1 & #3: Mashiach is probably the store owner's name! Still, it's good advertising, isn't it?
2) How do you know the fellow in black is a rabbi? The long black suit is the chareidi uniform. He could be a plumber, teacher, ... etc.! But I agree that he is a proof of God’s existence, b/c I would have expected there to be hundreds of cases of heat stroke daily from this uniform, G-d forbid!
3) I so loved the squeegee that I brought two small ones home with me to the USA, one for the shower walls, and one for the kitchen sink counter, where I promptly realized why it's useless here: we have a lip around the sink so you can't squeegee water into it from the countertop! Oh, well! I hung it on the wall, where it makes a great souvenir and reminds me of our beloved homeland!
(5) Sabus, July 7, 2014 10:33 PM
Wow!
This tourism tips are so interesting, inducing a kind of troath watering that never thirstiness of 35 degrees sunny day. It make me wanna park and head down to enjoy like you did. Thanks a lot for the sweet storry.
(4) Brenda, July 7, 2014 6:02 PM
Very funny
Richard Rabkin is a genius!
(3) Seth Lefkow, July 7, 2014 3:22 PM
It's a good name........
During one of my ten "hitches" as an IDF volunteer with Sar-El, the "foreman" in the shop on base was named Mashiach. He was (and still is) a good boss and we turned out a quantity of valuable work under his guidance.
(2) jeff, July 7, 2014 11:29 AM
funny
I loved the humour,but it also makes me want to go there.
(1) Anonymous, July 7, 2014 11:11 AM
mashiach
great article
one point - Mashiach is simply the guys family name. It is a popular sefardi surname. Now why would someone be called that???