I am a star! Okay, not really, but recently I felt like one. I was in a play put on by some women in my community. Fortunately, I was cast as the grumpy, miserable old man who had all the best lines, and I even managed to squeeze in a few of my own adlibs that got roars of laughter from the audience.
For the next few weeks I couldn't walk down the street without women stopping me to tell me how much they enjoyed the play and how much they laughed. I was a real celebrity!
But with celebrity sometimes comes ego, as Marlon Brando once said, "An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening." Lucky for me, there were some wise women in my neighborhood who pointed out that my part in the entertainment wasn't about me and my comedic talent. It had a Divine purpose. "Keren!" they said, "these ladies come to see the play with all their troubles and worries and you made them holler with laughter! What a mitzvah!"
I had never thought about it that way. Not only did I get to be up on stage doing something I really enjoyed, but I was actually doing something that had true worth?
There is a Talmudic story which substantiates this principle. Elijah the Prophet sees two people who have a secured their places in the World to Come. He asks them what they have done to merit this, and they answer that they made people who were depressed happy, and they helped people who were arguing to make peace. Of all the great deeds in the world, this Talmud specifies cheering people up and getting people to make peace as the two things that will get you into Heaven.
As I caught myself patting my own back, I was still slightly plagued by guilty feelings that this whole acting business was just one big ego-fest. Come on, was laughter really that important?
Around the time of the show, my three year old son Mordechai got sick. He was pale at first, then lethargic, until finally he couldn't even walk. For a few weeks the doctor tried to placate us with various unsatisfactory diagnoses, until we finally insisted on a blood test. And then we learnt the truth -- my little boy had Leukemia.
What a turn around. Now women were stopping me in the street for a different reason. Just a few weeks ago they were congratulating me, now they were commiserating with me, offering help, telling me that they were thinking of me.
It was in this very dark time that I realized just how important and valuable laughter can be.
It was in this very dark time that I realized just how important and valuable laughter can be.
My son stayed in hospital for the first week after his diagnosis, and he hardly had the energy to move from his bed. He had had an operation to insert a portacath -- a pediatric catheter used to administer chemotherapy - and was extremely sore. He wasn't interested in toys, books or music. To make matters worse, he was on medication that made him moody and grumpy. This was extremely difficult to watch because normally, he's a very happy child. Many parents will tell you that as long as child is happy, any hurdle can be overcome emotionally, but a miserable child is the most down-heartening thing on earth.
During that first week, we had a visit from the Clown Doctors. These are actors employed by the hospital to go around the pediatric units and entertain the children. At first, the particular Clown Doctor who came to visit Mordechai got a cold reception. I wasn't even sure the Clown Doctor's efforts were worth it -- Mordechai's frown seemed to be a permanent fixture. But then, suddenly, after several minutes of silly antics, Mordechai laughed!
What a blessing to hear that little giggle! What an incredible uplift to see a smile on his face! Everything had been so heavy, he had been so miserable, there had been so many tears, and now he was laughing! Suddenly I felt that it was possible, even in these circumstances, to have happiness and laughter. It made our situation bearable again.
After those first few weeks of treatment, Mordechai started to feel much better. He is still undergoing rigorous chemotherapy and has another two and a half years of treatment to go, but most of the time, he feels well and is happy.
And every time I hear him laugh, every time I see him enjoying himself, I still get that wonderful feeling of encouragement. For me, when the situation is challenging or I am feeling weighed down with stress, hearing a good joke, watching something funny -- just being able to laugh despite what's going on, is a tremendous release, and instantly helps to reduce the pressure.
People who have the ability to make people laugh have been given a great gift. The next time I'm in a performance, I'll have to remind myself of that.
Keren's son's full Hebrew name is Mordechai Yehuda ben Keren Gila should anyone wish to pray for him.
(13) Rebbe A.D De La'O, September 20, 2007 9:08 AM
Mordechai is on our prayer list.
May the joy of The Almighty be with you
(12) suzanne, September 20, 2007 12:56 AM
this story really touch my heart,i will definitely pray for Mordechai.... the neighbors and friends can really be an encouragement.
(11) Sarah, September 19, 2007 11:46 PM
Truly uplifting. Thank you! SMc
(10) Kathy, September 19, 2007 3:07 PM
Please tell Keren that my son was diagnosed with a leukemic condition right after his 2nd birthday. The only choice for him was to be put into a chemo induced remission and then hopefully we would fine a donor for a bonemarrow transplant. Well- that was 15 years ago. He's 17 almost 18 and we're looking at colleges. We tried to laugh all the time. His memories are the way I chose him to remember. He has very few bad memories. Keep laughing and focusing on the fun. we got our miracle and we will pray that you get yours.
(9) Corinne Wong, September 19, 2007 4:13 AM
This is so true!
This is a very touching article.
(8) Sandra Heo\pner, September 19, 2007 2:34 AM
Laughter is the best medecine....
I really think laughter can make you well again..of course dont over do it...!!
I hope Mordechai makes a complete recovery, I WILL DEFINITELY PRAY FOR HIM....
YESHER Koach....
(7) Alberto Chocron, September 18, 2007 2:54 PM
B´H that this year brings you only happiness and health to you and your son, all the best. As far as I am concerned you just did a Kidush Hashem by writting this article.
(6) YEHONASAN GEFEN, September 18, 2007 2:19 PM
Amazing and moving - you should use her more for writing as well as comics
very moving, positive and inspiring.
good use of stories and the Talmud
(5) Anonymous, September 17, 2007 8:57 PM
You are our heroes. Keren was always a lot of fun
Keren, You and Aron are our heroes. Everyday we think about all of you.
You were always a lot of fun (and funny) and we know that now you use your skills when you want to see Mordechai smiles. When you'll be the age of Savta Zelda, Mordechai will make you giggle and you'll reap just Naches from both of your little guys. We loved your article.
We Love You. Your dodd and dodda
(4) SARA GITA MINKIN, September 17, 2007 1:54 PM
YOU ARE A BRAVE LADY. I ADMIRE YOUR STRENTH AND OPENNESS. MAY YOU AND YOU HUSBAND ONLY SEE GREAT NACHAS FROM YOUR CHILDREN.
KEEP LAUGHING HONEY!!
(3) Anne Wayne, September 17, 2007 4:00 AM
to be able to write about your worries is also a gift
I an Natalies aunt... i wish you and your family well the smile on Mordechais face is bigger than sunshine. Your other gift is to share your feelings and writing which I know only too well relieves some of the pain.
(2) Ju, September 16, 2007 10:38 PM
Beautiful article. You made me realise how siple it is to perform such a big mitzva. I pray tha your son's life will be filled with happiness always. Thinking of you
(1) sarah shapiro, September 16, 2007 2:39 PM
great
Someone emailed me a link to this article, otherwise I wouldn't have seen it. I've heard about the value of laughter almost all my life, but this conveyed the truth in a new way, at a new depth. Thank you.