12 Ways Teachers are Just Like Celebrities

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If you ever wondered what being a celebrity is like, just become a teacher.

[1] You’ll have a fan club

Depending on what kind of teacher you are, you’re guaranteed to either get loads of fans or a bunch of haters, sometimes both simultaneously. You’ll walk in from recess and find a heart-melting “You’re my favorite teacher” drawing on your desk. Or you’ll sit on gum. Either way, you’re guaranteed to gain a following.

[2] You’ll be spotted in public

There’s really no escaping your students. You can be out grocery shopping trying to maintain anonymity in your sweats and no make-up, and a student will spot you from around the corner and eagerly yell out your name so everyone turns to look at you. While select students will run up to you with a big smile, others will hide behind corners, duck when you pass, and spy on you as you stand in line at the check-out.

[3] You’ll really hone your acting skills

One minute you’ll be voicing silly characters while you read a children’s book, and the next minute a student throws a pencil across the room and you have to create a suspenseful and dramatic mood just by the power of your teacher-eyes. The death glare that only a teacher can pull off is Oscar-worthy all on its own. And when a student does something against the rules but is also hilarious, teachers will pull off the ultimate acting test of keeping a straight face in the midst of a comedy.

[4] Critics will review your performance

I can’t think of another profession where the boss randomly drops by, pulls out a chair to sit, and then just watches you work. Is there another career like that? As a teacher you will definitely get administration coming by your room, watching your performance, and leaving you a full review of how well you performed. And it really doesn’t matter how amazing you are, these critics have a very hard time giving anyone 4 stars.

[5] Your fashion choices will be debated

It’s a lovely feeling when a student tells us how pretty we look or how much they like our earrings. It’s a much different feeling when they also tell us there’s a stain on our shirt. Depending on the age of your students, they’ll either ooh and aah over your outfit and compliment you every day or you teach middle school where they will mercilessly tell you that you dress like their 80-year-old grandma.

[6] You’ll have your own catchphrase

One of the best parts of being a teacher is when students put together a yearbook and include a page for teacher quotable quotes. Suddenly you realize that that phrase you say all the time has not gone unnoticed and in fact has become your trademark catchphrase. When your students have fun trying to imitate their teachers, they will use all your quotes and you’ll realize they were paying attention to all the wrong things in class.

[7] You’ll be given VIP access to an exclusive club

A student’s biggest dream is to be let into the glittery and exciting world that is the teacher’s lounge. Comfortable couches, an array of magazines, a full-size fridge, a quality coffee maker. Funny how teachers don’t ever actually have time to go in there themselves.

[8] You’ll be booked for press and interviews

Otherwise known as Parent-Teacher night. You’ll dress up, prepare answers for questions ahead of time, and try hard to sound like you know what you’re talking about. Your responses will definitely be repeated later that night to the students themselves and you don’t want to be taken out of context. As a teacher, you will also field questions all day from students, primarily right after you’ve already repeated the same response 12 times.

[9] You’ll be given a script

While you get ready every morning for work, you will likely be reviewing in your head the curriculum you will be teaching that day. Some subjects come with very specific guidelines for how to word certain lessons and those will be the hardest to pull off because there is little room for improv. (A member of admin will 100% come in to observe on the one day you forget the script entirely.)

[10] You might get nominated for an award

It’s not quite the same thing as winning an Oscar, but some would kill to win Teacher of the Year in their district. As I’ve never won, I can’t say with certainty what, if any, prizes come along with that distinction, but it’s always nice to be recognized for our efforts. As a consolation, there are also very talented celebrities who have never won an award either but they still love what they do. (Or maybe they’re contractually obligated to stay in the field, I don’t know. I’m contractually obligated to do a lot of things I’d rather not do, like cover recess duty and attend meetings that could’ve been emails.)

[11] People will wait in line for your meet-and-greet

Orientation night is the best. Parents sign in to meet with you for 30 seconds and leave with a cookie and a photo they took in a very sneaky manner because photos were expressly prohibited but parents are above the law so they have your pic now and it is definitely going to be shared with their closest family and friends on that group chat they created.

[12] You will get your own trailer

Because a trailer will be all you can afford to live in while surviving on a teacher’s salary. Sorry, I guess this is the one way teachers just can’t be like celebrities. Although if we could start running ads and commercials in our classroom between periods, we would definitely be able to upgrade to a two-story house, at least. Celebs have agents to help them negotiate, we have HR. Let’s make this happen.

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