Time Magazine recently came out with its annual listing of The 100 Most Influential People. It includes many unique and fascinating men and women, some you’ve heard of, others not yet. I immediately recognized Aziz Ansari, Pope Francis, Tim Cook, Melissa McCarthy, Kim Jung Un, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, among others. While it’s interesting and educational to read about why Time chose them, many of those names are obvious choices. The fun for me is in discovering those whose names I’m seeing for the first time.

Debra Vogel, age 23. From the time she was 7, all she ever wanted to do was work at Moishe’s Delicatessen.

Take Tu Youyou, for example. In 2015, Tu became the first woman in China to win a Nobel Prize. She found a treatment for malaria that saved millions of lives. Or Yayoi Kusama, who’s done some really radical and revolutionary things in the art world. Or Dr. Denis Mukwege, a gynecological surgeon in the Democratic Republic of Congo who with his team has treated more than 46,000 victims of sexual- and gender-based violence—6-year-olds and octogenarians alike. Or Binny Bansal and Sachin Bansal, who started an Indian version of Amazon.com in their apartment with $10,000. Flipkart now has 75 million users and a $13 billion valuation.

This all got me thinking about the many influential Jews in the world, the previously mentioned Mark Zuckerberg among them. My research revealed not only that these influential Jews had been discussed in print ad infinitum, but even the less-known influential Jews had been written up all over the place. In fact, it appeared that the only Jews who had not yet been discovered, reported on, or covered in social media, were the world’s least influential Jews. They were virgin territory. Seizing upon this opportunity, I sprang into action and spent countless minutes, I mean months, researching the least-influential Jews currently alive in America. While they are all wildly different, the one trait they all share, beside their anonymity, is that your learning about them will undoubtedly make you feel tremendously grateful for your own current situation, attainments and influence, however pathetic and hopeless they may be. You’re welcome. I’m here to serve.

Here, then, are America’s 10 least-influential Jews:

1. Sherman Blum, age 37; Rochester, N.Y.

Sherman Blum grew up dreaming of becoming an astronaut. The closest he got, though, was naming his driver education instructor’s car Apollo 11. While he was giving a book report in high school English class one day, six students fell asleep. After three years practicing public speaking in his local Toastmasters group, he was asked to leave because, “It’s just not working out. No hard feelings, eh? Oh, could you close the door on the way out?”

2. Dan Shapiro, age 18; Memphis, TN

Most people consider selling cotton candy and snow cones at an amusement park to be just a summer job. Not Dan Shapiro. He so loved selling those items from his booth at the park that he decided to pursue it as a career. He proceeded to learn everything there is to know about cotton candy, snow cones, and the selling of each. Go ahead, ask him anything. Meanwhile, he’s seriously considering expanding to include corn dogs.

3. Sidney Mandelbaum, age 99; Burbank, CA

The opinions of Sidney Mandelbaum only appeared in public once in his life. It happened in sixth grade when Sidney was interviewed for his school newspaper about what his favorite meal was in the school cafeteria. After giving it careful consideration, Sidney chose Sloppy Joes with Tater Tots. After that excitement, Sidney made an effort to stay out of the limelight except for joining the Burbank Kiwanis Club.

4. Debra Vogel, age 23; Springfield, MA

Of all the people who have worked at Moishe’s Delicatessen over the years, only one of them (aside from Moishe) claims to have reached his or her career goal with that job – Debra Vogel. As she herself exclaims, “This is a dream come true! From the time I was 7, it’s the only thing I ever wanted to do!” In addition, Debra’s entire apartment is decorated with Moishe’s memorabilia. Her family was intending to get her admitted for psychiatric evaluation – until they had Moishe’s corned beef on rye.

5. Myron Zilberschlag, age 41, Houston, TX

Having driven a taxi for nearly half his life to support his writing aspirations, Myron Zilberschlag is excited that he is nearly halfway through his life’s work – -and the first scholarly book to deal with this subject—The Complete History of Highway Traffic Cones Throughout the World. Through the years, friends and family have urged Myron to attend college, date, marry, develop other interests, but Myron is single-mindedly passionate about his topic and longs to meet a woman who might share that same passion.

6. Barry Briefman, 80, Portland, OR

Have you ever heard of someone who sought psychological counseling for boring himself to tears? Neither had Barry Briefman’s psychologist until he walked into Dr. Anna Pelham’s office and announced his affliction. Dr. Pelham thought Barry was joking until she fell asleep three times during his first three sessions. A retired building inspector, Barry never married because women he met thought he was dull and he readily agreed with them. But progress is being made. After two years of therapy, Dr. Pelham can now stay awake during most of his sessions.

7. Leila Zingel, 35, San Quentin, CA

Married to a top plastic surgeon, Leila Zingel was able to have any kind of plastic surgery she desired. What she desired was to look exactly like Angelina Jolie. Six surgeries later, she did. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, both she and her husband were convicted of several counts of income tax evasion and other assorted white collar crimes. Leila is now by far the best looking inmate on her cell block. She is the most popular female prisoner ever at San Quentin.

8. Paul Stanslansky, 52, Eugene, OR

When people are attempting to describe something dull or boring or that takes forever, they’ll sometimes say, “It’s like watching paint drying on a wall.” Amazingly, that happens to be Paul Stanslansky’s occupation. He is a performance artist who paints different kinds of wall surfaces with various paints, and then invites people to watch them dry. One cannot, however, actually call him a professional performance artist, since no venues have expressed any interest in hosting any of his shows and he has not made a penny from his act. However, as he affirms, “Nothing in life gives me greater joy.” He also reveals that his performance art was inspired by his days in his youth, assisting his house painter father.

9. Amy Hecker, 33, Waukee, IA

Most folks consider yodeling to be a lost or dying art. Not Amy Hecker. Ever since hearing her first yodeling act at the Iowa State Fair, she has been obsessed with it. Hecker proceeded to study it, listen to countless recordings, practice doing it herself, and now gives unique home performances where she combines yodeling with her love of Jewish culture. Hecker’s performances generally include yodeling versions of such Jewish cultural staples as “Hava Nagila”, “Sunrise, Sunset”, “Dayenu”, and the theme from “Yentl”. Although “America’s Got Talent” has not yet responded to her application, Hecker remains hopeful.

10. Ira Berger, 76, Bismarck, ND

At the age of 76, Ira Berger is still working and has no plans to retire. “Why stop doing what I love?” Berger asks. What he loves is his job as a freelance Nap Therapist. Why would anyone need to hire a Nap Therapist? “Napping is important,” explains Berger. “It can improve your health, extend your life, prevent disease, and recharge your body’s systems. But people don’t know how to do it right. I teach them how. Berger’s consultations include napping positions, room lighting and temperature, the effect of diet on napping, ideal length of time to nap, and how to both fall asleep instantly and wake up naturally.” Berger even gets into the history of napping and refers to famous nappers through history, both domestic and foreign. He proclaims, “There’s be far fewer wars if people would simply nap more!”