Contrary to my natural instincts, I am told that hatred is wrong. In fact, the three week period prior to the destruction of the Second Temple is upon us and the rabbis tell us that the Temple was destroyed due to baseless hatred. After all, you cannot hate people without a reason.

With that in mind, I would like to provide you with some ways to look at annoying people differently. We have to stop judging and start understanding.

Here are some ways to understand the irritating people – do it for the sake of the redemption of the Jewish people:

People who Cut in Front of you in Line

Think to yourself: they have something important to do. They have to get somewhere. Maybe they were there yesterday, and that was their spot beforehand.

Store with a ‘Going Out of Business Sale’ Sign up for Two Years

Think: This man has been struggling for over two years. Fighting through it all, while still giving people sales on all items. He is not lying.

Middle Eastern People Scooping from the Collective Humus Platter with Their Pita & Hand

They are just cleaning the platter for you.

A Server who is Not Smiling

They have too much business. Your coming back is detrimental to their reputation.

That Guy who Smells Bad on Bus

He’s claustrophobic. He needs his own seat, and he’s prepared.

People who Give You Unsolicited Advice

Maybe you did not know that ‘drinking coffee’ can help wake you up. Sometimes you are on a diet, and other people do not realize it. That is why they say, ‘You are overweight.’ Here is somebody who is coming along for you, the single person, letting you know, ‘It is not good to be lonely.’ Advice is always good.

The Falafel Guy with Unclean Hands

That is where the taste is coming from. You should be thanking him. Without his hands, you would not taste the curry.

The Person who Shows up to Gym with Unlaundered Clothes

The clothes are going to get dirty anyways. Not everybody comes from your country, where Tide is a good smell.

That Guy Who Puts his Leg on the Chair on Plane or Bus

Who is to say, that is your chair? Why is it in front of that guy, if it is yours? Perhaps, if their leg was not in the back of your chair, they would be less comfortable.

The Tall Person Sitting in Front of You at the Movie

Tall people should be allowed to watch movies too. You cannot ban them from the theater. It would be wrong to force them to sit in the back row. History shows us that some people would consider that discrimination. Taller people than you are a people too.

People Who Smoke in Public

They are giving you the chance to benefit from that wonderful cigarette smell, without having to bum a cigarette. Bumming cigarettes is annoying.

People Who Don’t Leave Messages and Expect You To Call Them Back

Everybody should assume they are important.

People Singing in Synagogue After the Prayer is Done

Everybody enjoys the lyrics ‘Nay Nay Nay.’ Our people have been singing that for centuries, even when nobody knew the prayers. ‘Nay Nay Nay’ are words of inspiration. The Beatles were inspired by those lyrics too. Without ‘Nay Nay Nay…’ ‘Hey Jude’ would have been a 2 minute song.

People Who Play Guitar Around the Camp Fire

The guitar is made out of wood. See the positive.

People Who Look at You and Do Not Say ‘Hello’

You think they are rude. But they are just engaging you in a lively staring competition.

Your Neighbors Above You in the Apartment Building

Your neighbors have to eat. You may want them to stop chewing because you can hear that, along with their walking. Even so, they might choke, and then their coughing will wake you up.

Your Neighbors who Leave their Garbage Outside their Front Door

Why should their house smell? That is quite selfish of you. Maybe they will take it down to the garbage at some point, if you don’t.

People Who Sit with Their Phone at Dinner

Your conversation as a family member is not interesting. Why should anybody have to sit down to dinner without their friends? For example, there might be an emergency in a teenager’s life. They might have a friend who just realized they are going to a movie. There might be a new game out. A guy might have said ‘Hi’ to a young girl. That is a life changer.

Children Who Leave Their Parents in Senior Citizens Home and Not Visiting

They already did their job. You are not going to get anything else out of them. Why should they have to have them around anymore?

Children Who Scream and Run Outside Your Door, While You Are Trying to Sleep

Running inside the home is excellent exercise. You brought these children into the world. That was your idea. Now you must allow them to use their legs and larynxes that Hashem gave them. More importantly, if you don’t allow them, one day, they might end up baselessly hating you and leave you in a senior citizens home.