We all know them when hear them. We’ve all committed them: bloopers. The term “Bloopers,” which came into vogue in the 1930s are those times when we blow it. They are gaffes, dumb mistakes, mispronunciations, rotten taste, and just plain stupid remarks that make us want to hide our red-face under the covers, take up residence in a third world nation, or these days, go embarrassingly viral.

MSNBC Anchor Mika Brzezinski: “Keep it right here on Morning Jew.”

The term was popularized by Kermit Shaefer who made a nice living from the famous who messed up, sometimes hilariously. His turned these Bloopers into books, records, radio, and later TV.

Shaefer’s first platinum find was when announcer/actor, Harry Von Zell, in 1931, referred to the President as Hoobert Hever.

His lists became a brand known as Pardon My Blooper! and the concept became part of pop culture.

I admit it. I’ve done my share. I still wince when I think of what I said to a lovely woman sitting next to a famous actress I knew, “Ah! You must be her mother!” The two knew each other since kindergarten. “May the floor open up and swallow me,” I thought.

My tic grows worse when I think of all the times I “mazel-toved” non-pregnant women with a belly, complimented the wrong actor, or told a joke with the wrong ending and watched everyone thinking: “Wha? She writes humor for a living?”

True, we Jews have to deal with enough mistakes about us from anti-Semites but on occasion, companies and individuals (including us) will commit an innocent “blooper” or simply – act like idiots.

After much research, I bring to you today … Jewpers, or Bloopers that involve Jews.

MATZO-MEIN?

One of the most famous Jewishy bloopers occurred on the “Newlywed Game,” hosted by Bob Eubanks. For those of you too young to remember life before the Kardashians, the game involved newly married couples who were asked questions about their new other half out of their earshot. Matching answers won. The veteran Eubanks posed this question to the men: “What was the last traditional Jewish favorite your wife prepared for you?”

One husband, thought and finally said … “Chow Mein!”

OK, when I think about how much I “chow” during High Holiday season, maybe he wasn’t that far off?.

JEW IN THE MORNING?

This past July, blood pressures rose in the VIP rooms at MSNBC when Mika Brzezinski, co-host of “Morning Joe” with Joe Scarborough, had just interviewed the Israeli ambassador to the U.S., Ron Dermer about the crisis in Gaza. When she cut to commercial, Mika made Freud twirl by saying: “Keep it right here on Morning Jew.” She quickly corrected herself but not before Twitter lit up! Just in case you think I am fibbing you can watch this Jewper here.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

A few years ago everyone in Israel was talking about the British-American BBC comedy “Episodes.” It wasn’t airing there but used free online translation a little too freely – and dumbly. It seems in the third episode, Merc Lapidus, a main character was attending his father’s funeral. The gravestone, as per Jewish tradition, was bilingual; in this case English and Hebrew. But the entire Hebrew inscription was not only written backwards, starting with the last letter and working back to the first, but the deceased, Yuhudi Penzel, had been, according to the translation: "pickled at great expense” which can happen should a popular show use Google Translate to render "dearly missed" into Hebrew. Wha? They couldn’t go to a deli and pay a Hebrew speaker in corned beef?

STILL LOST

A newspaper writer reported buying a bottle of grape juice, describing how Kosher laws demand that fruit is picked from a plant at least four years old. If you pick it younger, the fruit which can’t be eaten is called “orlah” and can't be eaten. Apparently, the bottlers of the juice also chose a cheesy translator. The label assured “us” we could drink it "without fear that it contains foreskin." Mazal tov!

AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT … THE FUNNIEST “JEWISH” BLOOPER IN TV HISTORY!

Back in the 1960s, actor-singer Ed Ames, who co-starred as Mingo on the TV show “Daniel Boone” was a guest on “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.” Ames and Carson were discussing Ames' tomahawk throwing abilities. When he claimed that he could hit a target from across the room, Carson asked him to demonstrate. A chalk outline of a cowboy was brought out. Ames threw the tomahawk … and hit the "cowboy.” Oy, where it landed. Ames, a Jew, accidentally “circumcised” his target. This led to what may be the longest laugh by a live audience in TV history. Carson ad-libbed: "I didn't even know you were Jewish!" and "Welcome to Frontier Bris." Ames then asked Carson if he would like to take a turn throwing, to which Carson replied: "I can't hurt him any more than you did." Do yourself a favor and watch this jewper here.

DANCING TO THE SHOFAR?

The place? Texas. A popular among Texas broadcasting circles is the time a station manager’s late programming change from Les Brown’s orchestra to a religious program in recognition of Yom Kippur confused the announcer, who obviously needs a shot of Schnapps – and a brain. He wound up saying to his audience: "Stay tuned for the dance music of Yom Kippur's Orchestra." Obviously, he’s a fan of YK & The Musical Shofars.

YOU GOTTA LOVE KIDS

On December 22, 2008 The Rabbi of the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation and his family appeared live on 13 Instant Eye for Hanukkah. Hilarity ensues when one of the Rabbi’s young sons decided to put on his own show behind Dad’s back while he was explaining the holiday and lighting the first candle! The cameraman tried to help but … watch here to see our little mazik determined to make his TV mark. Enjoy!

If you or yours have a) seen a “Jewper; b) committed one, by all means post them. The worst that can happen is, you’ll share this embarrassment with a million Jewish people. Who would we tell?