JEWLARIOUS SATIRE – Calling it “the single biggest mistake of my career, outside of running for a second term” Jimmy Carter apologized to the Polish, Jewish and American people this past Sunday. Carter was caught red-handed at a Warsaw Dunkin Donuts, quietly sipping a latte and sitting with the arbeit macht frei sign, which had otherwise hung at the Auschwitz concentration camp, since its inception.
A chastened Carter defended his actions and relationship with the Jewish people, telling the Jewlarious News Network (JNN), “Calling Israel an apartheid state, cuddling with Hamas leaders and stealing the arbeit macht frei sign do not make me an anti-Semite. I love the people of the book, but just wish that there were fewer of them and that they had less land so that we could fully monitor and appreciate them, never taking them for granted again.”
“I love the people of the book, but just wish that there were fewer of them.”
When pressed by JNN as to why he was at the site and how he managed to steal the sign without anyone seeing, Carter explained: “It was a lark. Rosalyn and I build those habitats houses so we are pretty handy with tools these days. I just got onto her shoulders – Rosalyn is as strong as an ox – and we took out a ratchet set and removed the screws. Then, she just carried me away.”
A tearful Rosalyn Carter told JNN confidentially, “Jimmy has gained 20 pounds in the last three years. It was awful.”
Friends and foes struggled to understand what Carter wanted to do with the sign. Long time Carter critic Allan Dershowitz told Jewlarious, “Jimmy is straight up crazy. Can I just leave it at that?”
President Obama immediately distanced himself from Carter saying, “We all know that they give these Nobel Peace Prizes out to anyone, even the least accomplished people. Jimmy got one. I got one. On the upside, he is making me feel more deserving.”
Thorbjorn Jagland, Chairman of the Nobel Prize Committee, reached at his home in Oslo for comment, told JNN: “Once an individual receives the Nobel Prize, the Nobel Prize Committee then stands behind all of their subsequent actions unhesitatingly. That went for Yasser Arafat, and of course the same policy applies to Mr. Carter. We wholeheartedly support Jimmy’s right to damage and steal the arbeit macht frei sign.”
(28) Lillian Nussbaum Tobin, January 13, 2010 11:01 PM
I feel this parody is in poor taste and not very funny - it definitely does not rank as something witty. And to center it around a symbol which is so painful for so many is downright wrong if not sacreligious. Why not just call him simply a "Naar"? And a self-serving one at that.
rich vail, September 3, 2012 8:51 PM
Nothing Bad About Jimmy's In Poor Taste
Nothing that parodies this man is in poor taste. Most of the West's current issues with Islamic extremism stems from his failure to destroy the Iranian Regime when they declared war on America. Prior to the introduction of the Carter Doctrine, attacking a nation's embassy was a declaration of war...since Mr. Carter's failure to do anything concrete during the "hostage crisis", the West in general, and America in particular were, and have since been seen as a "weak horse" to many Islamic Fundamentalists...James Earl Carter, is in my opinion the direct source of modern Islamic terrorism.
(27) Shira, January 9, 2010 4:05 PM
humor is a shortcut to the truth
While outlandish, the ideas in this parody give us a chance to openly make accusations which, for diplomatic reasons, we can never otherwise say. And at the same time it allows us to take the craziness of international affairs more lightly, and shift our attention to other important arenas where we should apply ourselves.
(26) , January 9, 2010 4:36 AM
Oy
(25) Anonymous, January 6, 2010 8:16 PM
Humor is good for us
I read the first comment with a request to remove this article because by being humorous it belittles the horrible action that occured. I disagree... We can not laugh about actual murder, however, Jews have always laughed about antisemites and their actions.. It is not done to belittle the horrible truth the world is anti Israel but it is done to keep our morale and spirits up.. we laugh and go on living adn fighting and having children and prospering...
(24) Jazzy, January 6, 2010 4:31 AM
Not funny, and provacotive for no reason
I'm not a fan of Jimmy Carter at all. I dislike his policies. That said, I don't think there is any humor to be found in the stealing of the sign from Auschwitz. Connecting it to Carter, even as a joke seems to be just plain dumb. I'd really recommend removing this article as soon as possible as it undermines all the wonderful articles posted here.
(23) Daniel (Exile, U.S.A.), January 6, 2010 2:31 AM
Hilarious Parody Justly Deserved
That antisemitic peanut farmer from Georgia pals around with murderers of Israeli Jews, makes slanderous remarks about Zionist Jews in his book, and [some] Jews are offended with this spoof!?! Could it be that the outraged [Jewish] defenders of that Southern peanut farmer are suffering from Stockholm syndrome!? I for one am praying for the LIBERATION of Israel from all those who are UNPRUNED in the spirit and flesh, and please Hashem make it soon. * [Read Ezekiel 44:5-9]
(22) L, January 5, 2010 11:06 PM
"The Other" - continued
Habitat for Humanity, which Carter helps but does not run is a great organization. But when it comes to Carter and the Jews, heed the words of his former close aide and the first head of the Carter Center, Emory Professor Ken Stein. Stein compared his notes (taken at Carter's behest and shared with Carter) from meetings at which he sat with Carter and Arab leaders. What Carter now says happened in those meetings directly contradicts what Stein documented on behalf of Carter himself! When Jews and Israelis are making concrete compromises and concessions (such as removing every last Jew from Gaza, except for hostage Gilad Shalit) and offering to divide Jerusalem, the eternal city of our people, and when the Palestinian response to the offer of a Jewish state and a Palestinian state living side by side is "never" (and that's the response of the "moderate" Palestinian leader), when 20% of Israeli citizens are Arabs, who can and do vote, sit in the Knesset, become judges, and successfully sue the Israeli government and obtain redress of their grievances, when the Palestinian leadership unanimously and continuously states that its most important demand is that no Jews live in the Palestinian state, then it is time, Ruth, to rethink your understanding of who sees the world in terms of "us" and "the other" and who truly wants peace with freedom and equality. Meanwhile, ask yourself why Carter continues to use his influence to help Palestinians who demand a country with no Jews in it. For more background, see the following articles and studies: http://www.camera.org/index.asp?x_context=2&x_outlet=118&x_article=1273 http://www.camera.org/index.asp?x_context=2&x_outlet=118&x_article=1775 http://www.camera.org/index.asp?x_context=8&x_nameinnews=187&x_article=1760 and http://www.camera.org/index.asp?x_context=2&x_outlet=53&x_article=1124.
(21) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 11:05 PM
"The Other" continued
How many peace offers does Israel have to make and do Palestinian and Arab leaders have to reject before you realize why there is no peace. Carter continues to blame the Jews and the Jewish state. He falsely accuses it of "Apartheid" (yes, I know, eliding the point with a politicians finesse, he says that he didn't say Israel was an Apartheid state, that's just the name of the book that the publisher chose that the former President of the United States had no say over.) He blames Jews for the suffering of Palestinians slaughtered by their own leaders. He stands silent while Palestinians launch rockets for EIGHT YEARS at Israeli homes, playgrounds and schools. However, when, Israel after years spent making good faith peace offers, withdrawing from territory and taking numerous other actions to give Palestinian leaders what they say they want, when Israel finally takes action to defend innocent Israeli families - both Arab and Jewish Israeli families - Carter attacks Israel.
(20) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 11:03 PM
"The Other"
Ruth, please tell me who it is in the Jewish community who considers Palestinians "the other". As far as I can see, anyone who treats Palestinians as "the other" is run out of polite company in the Jewish community. After centuries of Romans, Christians, Spaniards, Germans, Russians and more treating Jews as "the other", we are entitled to our own country. That country is threatened not because Israelis or Jews treat Arabs or Muslims as "the other" but precisely vice versa. When asked if he could accept a Jewish state, the "moderate" Mahmoud Abbas most recently stated emphatically, "never".
(19) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 10:29 PM
not funny
Not funny.
(18) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 8:01 PM
Carter is a nut. He hates JEWS. People should watch the nut. He could turn out to be another Hilter.
(17) Ronald, January 5, 2010 7:46 PM
Jimmy Carter missed and continues to miss the mark. He's persistent though. I believe the author also missed the mark, although the part about the Nobel Peace Prize read like a skit from SNL. Keep firing. Shalom :)
(16) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 7:42 PM
You tried but
I didn't think that was too funny, and I have a wicked sense of humor (and can't stand Jimmy Carter). I understand the attempt behind this article, but I just don't think the theft of the sign is fair game for satire. I do like some of your other stuff though.
(15) Deborah Rey, January 5, 2010 6:05 PM
Sick!
I'm sorry, but as a Jew who lost her Mother in Auschwitz, I find an article like this one pretty damn sick and showing lack of respect. Wasn't the theft of the sign bad enough? Maybe Schmuel Savage doesn't care, but as an author he should have realised that there are others who do.
(14) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 5:24 PM
Jimmy Carter apologizes
The satira is very nice and shows the man. And here my opinion about Carter:Carter is one of the worst bigots of recent history. I don't believe a single word of what comes from his mouth. His apology is only made out of convenience. The harm he has done has provoked a wave of hatred and influenced people not less ugly than Carter himself - like Goldstone, the "Over-righteous" judge who forgot completely what justice is about! and also from where he comes. Carter should write an article to be published in all the news papers of the world. He should also setup a Video clip, with his apologies towards Israel and the whole Jewish world and have it translated to Arabic, Persian, and many other languages (especially where the stupid lefties are). It should be published at the Internet so that all the people who gave him the credits could know about his apologies. Otherwise his apology is worthless.
(13) Larry Snider, January 5, 2010 5:12 PM
Jewlarious its not!
As one who has written at length about former President Carter and his use of the word "Apartheid", in the title of a book for all the wrong reasons, I am appalled by this attempt at humor. It not only falls flat, but is hurtful on many levels and frankly belittles all the positive work of the Cater Center which ultimately earned him a Nobel Prize. I don't believe his apology was enough. I think it rests on the actions he takes in his remaining years.
(12) Adam, January 5, 2010 4:58 PM
This isn't just dumb, it's offensive
President Carter may be anti-Israel, but this is a big stretch and not funny at all. Whatever he's done since leaving office, you should remember that the cold peace with Egypt brokered by Carter fundamentally changed Israel's strategic situation in the middle east.
(11) J LaLone, January 5, 2010 4:25 PM
Too close to truth to be funny
Carter's actions of the last few years are so sad and such a betrayal. He is no more no than a right winger Jew blamer for JC's crucifiction. His words and behavior call out clearly for the destruction of Israel and all Jews. Why doesn't he think all the White Christians should be wiped out because of the slavery of Blacks that has left the whole culture scarred to this day...because of him and his people? Hypocritical, yes?
(10) Elliot Hershoff, January 5, 2010 4:07 PM
Jimmy Carter, anti-semite
you can't trust anyone who speaks with his mouth closed. he is without a doubt, anti-Israel and an ati-semite.
(9) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 3:50 PM
Jimmy is not an aberation, He is the new norm.
Who still believes that the left leaning inteligencia of the Democratic Party are pro Isreal and not really pro PLO, Hamas et al.
(8) brad, January 5, 2010 3:40 PM
very funny!
where are people's sense of humor? this is very funny, almost as clever as The Onion. Cmon, laugh people!
(7) Harvey Rogeers, January 5, 2010 3:39 PM
I didn't think it was very funny
The article was not offensive but i didn't think it was particularly witty. Grinning Jimmy should be a better target for satire. Maybe someone would like to try again.
(6) Bert, January 5, 2010 3:09 PM
So, is the reason Carter apologized because he has a grandsone running for public office in Georgia ?.
(5) Anonymous, January 5, 2010 3:05 PM
what an idiot
(4) ruth, January 5, 2010 2:58 PM
what's not funny
I just sent a check, a small one, but one that was deeply felt, enough to purchase a new sink for the housing projects of Jimmy Carter's program, Habitat for Humanity. There are people who don't feel the way you do, about Jimmy Carter, and who feel his words were deeply missapprehended and I am one. I am a Jew and I am very much aware of Jewish needs, and of Israel and her problems and sorrows in building a country, a homeland for my people. I am also aware of others, and how we designate "the other", namely the needs of the Palestinians, who are our brothers. Yes, the word, others, itself in the word, brothers. I am saying stop flinging arrows, because Carter is not who you say he is, and that sensitivity, in all ways, is the key to making of this world, for us all, a beautiful place. It was an honor to send a little bit of money to his cause, and I am saying the greater word, HUMANITY, has ringing implications. So I was not amused, and find this truly not funny at all.
(3) Aaron Z Snyder, January 5, 2010 2:52 PM
What the heck does "arbecht" mean?
Am I missing the humor here, or should the humorist understand what he/she is writing about before putting pen to paper?
(2) Rich Vail, January 5, 2010 2:37 PM
Carter was rightfully "retired by the electorate"
That's his phrase for his crushing defeat in the 1980 election. He has never forgiven Jews for defecting to Ted Kennedy during the primaries. His only reason now for "appologizing" at all is his grandson's run for the GA state senate...in district that has a significant minority of jews... Mr. Carter's policies in the late 1970's are the root cause of many of the problems we now face in the Middle East. His Iranian policy of cowering away from Islamists is wny we (as well as Israel) now face significant terrorists around the world. Had he used Teddy Roosevelt's policy (speak softly and carry a big stick) toward Khomeini, much of what we are now reaping would never have happened. But he didn't and refused to do anything about the declaration of war that Iran announced (used to be until the "Carter Doctrine" that when one country seized the embassy of another, that was considered a declaration of war). Mr. Carter chose to do nothing...and that was seen as weakness in the MIddle East.
(1) , January 5, 2010 5:57 AM
I DO NOT THINK THIS WAS FUNNY, CARTER IS A LIAR, A CROOK, & A TRAITER TO THE USA AND I DONT THINK WE SHOULD USE HIM IN JEST.