The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

Moishe & Miriam Hit the Road

Moishe and Miriam were tired of always being at home due to this whole COVID – pandemic so they bought a motor home and decided to hit the road and see the country. But it turns out that lots of other folks had the same idea and the RV camps were packed. And it was as if these people had never heard of Coronavirus – no masks, no social distancing, it seemed that all they wanted to do was talk to Moishe and Miriam and get in into their personal space.

Then, Moishe came up with an idea to get them some privacy. Wherever they would set up camp, they would place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."

Sick of It

King David High School has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. David Applebaum decided to skip school and go to the mall with his friends. So he waited until his parents left for work and called the school himself. This is the transcription of the telephone call.

David: "Hi, I'm calling to report that David Applebaum is unable to make it to school today because he’s sick."

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note his absence. Who is this calling?"

David: "This is my mother."

Bag of Tricks

It was very crowded at Heshy’s Kosher Market, the local grocery store and the customer at the checkout had a large order.

As Heshy himself lifted the final bag for the customer, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

"They just don't make these bags like they used to," Heshy quipped to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"


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