The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

Summer Slam

Two meshulachim (Jewish fundraisers) were knocking on doors in a Jewish neighborhood trying to raise funds for their institutions in Israel when they knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told the meshulachim in no uncertain terms that she did not want to give them any money and slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result – the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude meshulachim were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said: "Before you do that again you probably should move your cat."


Shorthanded Goal

Morty Himmelman went to see his supervisor. "Boss," he said, "we're doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and Shirley asked me for some help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're shorthanded," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thank you," said Himmelman. "I knew I could count on you!"


In the Eye of the Beholder

Little Moishie watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cream on her face.

"Mommy, why are you rubbing that on your face?" he asked.

"To help make myself beautiful," said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" Moishie asked. "Are you giving up?"


 

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