Help, I’m Dead!

Morty and Shirley Rubenstein, both residents of the Maimonides Retirement Residence are lying in bed one morning, having just woken up from a good night’s sleep.

Morty takes Shirley’s hand but she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," Morty asks. Shirley answers back, "Because I'm dead."

Morty says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here talking to one another."

Shirley says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Morty insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

Shirley wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"