The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

Zadie’s Crusade

The Edelstein family from New York was getting a guided tour through one of the ancient crusader forces in the land of Israel.

"This place," their tour guide told them, "is almost one thousand years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."

"Wow," said Zadie Edelstein, "they must have the same landlord I do."


The Nightmare Scenario

Chaim Yankel was having nightmares so he decided to visit Chelm’s only psychiatrist.

“Doctor,” said Chaim Yankel. "I am having this terrible reoccurring nightmare.”

“What is it?” asked the psychiatrist.

“I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won't budge."

“Hmm…” the psychiatrist thinks. "Interesting. But tell me, what does the sign on the door say?"

Chaim Yankel replies, "It says, 'Pull.'"


Together Forever

Moishe and Miriam Kopplewitz had been married for 45 years and had raised 11 children and were blessed with countless grandchildren.

When interviewed by a local newspaper and asked the secret to raising so many children and staying together all that time, Miriam replied, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to leave has to take all the kids."


 

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