The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

Going Grey

One day little Rivkah Stern was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Mommy, why are some of your hairs white?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

Little Rivkah thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mommy, what in the world did you do to Bubbie to make ALL of her hairs are white!?"


Security Breach

There was an unexpected knock at Rachel Rubin’s front door, and like she always did she first opened the peephole and asked, "Who's there?"

"Amazon delivery, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature."

"Where's the package?" Rachel asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up.

"Could I see some ID?" Rachel said, still not convinced.

"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break into your house, I'd probably just use these." And he pulled out the keys Rachel had left in the door.


Rules of Parenting

Rabbi Felder, trying to teach the children about the proper behavior in shul, was trying to elicit from the youngsters rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

"Don't play with your food," one second grader cited.

"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.

"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" Rabbi Felder asked little Moishie Rothman.

Without batting an eye, Moishie replied, "Order something cheap!"


 

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