The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

A Tough Problem

September came and thankfully the kids at King David High school were back in class. A few days in, the principal, Rabbi Epstein, was walking through the lunch room and noticed a few students hard at work on their calculators. Surprised that they had received such a difficult math problem so early in the school year, Rabbi Epstein approached them and asked what their assignment was.

One of the students, a girl named Shira looked up at Rabbi Epstein and replied, "We're figuring out how many days until spring break."


Gone Fishing

Moishe and Miriam bought a fishing boat and started using it at their cottage. Moishe did most of the driving behind the wheel of the boat and got concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to Miriam, "Take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You have to get the boat safely to shore and dock it."

So Miriam drove the boat to shore and safely docked it.

Later that evening, Miriam walked into the living room where Moishe was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes."


Appointment Apathy

Moishe called Dr. Finkelstein's office for an appointment.

"I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks."

"But I could be dead by then!" cried Moishe.

"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment."


 

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