The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

Little Miss Manners

Little Rivkah Shpielman was a very polite young lady and liked spending time with her Zadie and having him teach her about proper etiquette. One day Rivkah said, "Zadie, I notice that when you sneeze, you put your hands in front of your mouth. Are you doing that because it’s the polite thing to do?”

"No sweetheart," explained Zadie. "I’m doing it so I can catch my teeth!”

An Angry Word

Little Moishie Rubin was caught by his teacher Mrs. Goldenberg using a bad word.

"Moishie," Mrs. Goldenberg said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?"

"My Abba said it," Moishie responded.

"Well, it doesn't matter," explained the teacher, "you don't even know what it means."

"I do, so!" Moishie corrected. "It means the car won't start."

Window Dressing

Chaim Yankel replaced all the windows in his house in Chelm. He had expensive, double-insulated energy efficient windows installed.

Twelve months later Chaim Yankel gets a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year but he hasn’t paid yet.

Chaim Yankel replies, "Now don't try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves"


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