The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

The Mystic and the Police

A group of Israeli university students was taking a criminology course when the instructor told the class about a man who was described as a “mystic” who contacted the police who were working on a missing-persons case. "The old man gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as he had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?"

While the rest of the class pondered the question, a police officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect."

Golfing for the Ages

Morty, Marvin, Hymie and Berel had been friends since they were kids and were all now well into their 80s. They met once a week for a game of golf at the club.

"Oy, these hills are getting steeper as the years go by," Morty complained.

"Oy, these fairways seem to be getting longer too," said Marvin.

"Oy, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said Hymie.

After hearing enough from his buddies, 87 years old Berel, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

The Politician’s Gorgeous Wife

Moishe was reading the newspaper and on page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.

Slightly jealous of the politician, Moishe turned to his wife Miriam and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."

Miriam smiled and replied, "Why, thank you Moishe."


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