Wedding Singer

Why is true love so hard to find?

This video encourages the discussion of Jewish values as they relate to contemporary culture. Jewlarious does not endorse any particular film.

Comments (18)

(18) David C., June 24, 2010 1:57 AM

OWwCH!! Talk about a guy get punch in the end

It's quite funny and interesting. To find love is some time vague and not always trenchant; and it may even take years to find it.

(17) Dvirah, March 15, 2008 1:50 PM

Right On Comments

The comments show a high level of understanding not seen in the clip. What strikes me most, however, is the incredible arrogance of the Wedding Singer: who is he to say whether any person will or will not find "true" love? By what standard does he judge? Maybe others have different standards? I was also infuriated by the meek way most of the people accepted his pronouncements; and I cheered when the groom gave him the punch he deserves.

(16) Jo, March 2, 2008 2:36 PM

thought provoking

The film itself is not very thought provoking-the comments are.
I highly agree with Sho, who basically said that marriage is not about "love", it's about a common goal and compatability to fulfilling that shared goal. Love is an incredibly overused term so much so that it seems almost to have lost all meaning.
In my limited understanding of the world and its workings, love, like happiness, is something that is developed along the way. it's not the starting point or the goal-that makes it unattainable-but what can happen when two people work together really well in that particular setting.

(15) tzip', March 2, 2008 12:37 AM

Because we don't know what we're looking for

Which love are we talking about here? Do we "really" know what we're looking for?

(14) Anonymous, February 29, 2008 8:01 PM

He's a good performer!

The actor/singer in this skit did a great job. The script was partly funny...lines like the sideburn lady gave me a smile. He was believable as a jaded wedding song singer! It was similiar to a Rodney Dangerfield type offbeat humor.

(13) tova wald, February 28, 2008 4:14 AM

Funny it is didn't even make me smile. In fact, a frown slowly spread itself across my mouth. This may be due to my age--30 plus. Many songs novels and so forth have used "Love" as a theme very favorably. "True Love" is what you think it is. Our communities are indifferent or too busy to see themselves as instruments of G-d to make connections. Also Hollywood has had a damaging influence on how the "true love" should look. If the person doesn't fit the image--no good.

(12) Clara Rachel, February 27, 2008 8:37 AM

I have seen this movie so many times and it is right true love is difficult to find because we don't look and search with the eyes of the soul. True love is not on the surface of a person it is inside.

(11) judaicaman, February 27, 2008 2:00 AM


I haven't seen the movie just yet, but everyone in the shidduch scene sooner or later (this is the above 30 category) will feel that love indeed stinks! BUT, it's all a matter of focus. A person IS where he thinks he is and if you focus on the good things in life, you WILL be happier. See the book by Rabi Zelig Pliskin GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS, it really can make someone happy, even yourself!

(10) Anonymous, February 26, 2008 9:50 PM

lack of respect

I did not find that too funny. Unfortunately, this is a common theme in movies/television now having people not talk with respect to other people, calling them names. It is not the "highest" or even "lowest" form of comedy. It just is not funny. No wonder the newspaper reported that children now speak with a foul language. Glad I do not take my kids to movies like this!

(9) sho, February 26, 2008 1:42 PM

love doesn´t stink..

One is for sure: love doesn´t stink.
But the guy in the video has a point, though: people who say so are usually those who didn´t find their partner.
What a lot of people nowadays forget is that marriage has not so much to do with "love" than with a common purpose in life, an attachment to the same principles, and of course respect for each other. A certain attraction counts, but most of all, you can only build up a home with someone you respect and grow to care for. And vice versa.

(8) pat, February 26, 2008 11:18 AM

No one invests the time

Taking time to really know each other and get to like eachother...People feel valuable with work, that earns good money, for things they want. But money can come and go. Where is the time to talk, take a walk, be real and seems everyone is to busy, to really want to enjoy and know eachother. Sometimes I see jobs are what is most important.

(7) Adam, February 26, 2008 10:03 AM

Love doesn't find a way

Beyond 'Love Will Find a Way' being probably the worst song ever recorded by the progressive rock group Yes, it's also a dreadful, misleading cliche. Love doesn't 'find a way;' people find a way to make love work. And the operative term there is 'work.' Being in a love relationship is hard work; perhaps the hardest anyone ever does. But it's also the best thing anyone ever does.

By all means, look for the 'perfect someone.' But don't kid yourself that you need to find absolute perfection; you're not perfect, and no human can possibly be; perfection is G-d's and G-d's alone. What you do is find someone who seems matched to you, + then work through the parts which don't match.

You won't agree on everything. You'll probably fight from time to time. But that doesn't mean that you don't love each other. My wife + I love each other to death, + we also drive each other bonkers on occasion. The latter in no way diminishes the former. As R. Solomon would say, 'something to think about.'

(6) Kenny, February 26, 2008 12:41 AM

To Anonymous

Is your question addressed to me? (You posted before I did.) How long should one spend? As long as it takes. How long should one spend with one person trying to find it? If you haven't found it after a year, that is already too long. If it's not right, you can't force it. What do you mean the "the woman will completely change"? For the better or the worse? Neither party should go into marriage expecting that the other will change (at least for the better).

(5) hershy, February 25, 2008 11:12 PM

i love love

(4) Anonymous, February 25, 2008 10:36 AM

Because there is two halves

Ones other half maybe right in front of you. All of the rest are just physical and worldly connection. I did not understand why old men treated women the way they did, then I found out why. Men need the physical connection and women need the admiration of other women for how well they did in marrying a good pay check. To Kenny how much time do you think one should spend in finding love? I spent two years with one and after marrage found out the old saying is true. Once married the man will not change and the woman will completely change.

(3) Kenny, February 25, 2008 12:39 AM

Because people don't try to find it.

People look for the wrong thing. People find and stay with the wrong thing. People don't spend time to figure out what they need. People don't spend time figuring out who the other person is. People waste a lot of time.

(2) Rosen, February 24, 2008 3:10 PM

loving smart as a rule of thumb

Seems like finding true love is almost never easy, even if two meant to be with each other are in the same room. It all depends on how one or two pay attention to one another, listen to each other, and get all their differences and similarities out on the table before they pursue a relationship for either dating or marriage. Having open dialogue is loving smart since it is common sense to do so, as opposed to blindly fall in love with someone that is unlikely to last. When finding a true love, it can be easy for a Jew, often one who is uneducated, to fall in love with a non-Jew, but difficult to work out the religious differences during Jewish and secular holidays; whereas, a Jew attempting to find another Jew to date or marry is hard to find, but easier to coerce on Jewish and secular holidays in the long run. An educator from Jews for Judaism mentioned that when people intermarry outside their faith, the chance for divorce increases by more than 50% than that of a traditional Jewish marriage - so, any wonder why the divorce rate in America tends to be roughly two-thirds nowadays (not that some couples who do marry Jewish don't end up divorcing each other, due to other reasons)? There is a lot of reality that love doesn't always conquer all. Thus, all avenues must be discovered in order to mutually love someone all throughout time. We date and marry as a result of shared similarities and values. After all, it doesn't make sense for a Jew to marry someone who has diametrically different religious, fundamental views than him/her, because opposites don't necessarily attract like a Chasidic Jew and a devout, "born-again" Christian."

(1) DANNY, February 24, 2008 7:08 AM

I needed the cheerup!!

Thank you!


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