On some level of awareness we all know that our days are numbered. How to cope with that recognition is perhaps the greatest challenge of life.
For some, acknowledging mortality is liberating. Chris Allen’s hit song lyric suggests that “I wish you can live life like you know you’re dying.” For others, fear of the unknown is debilitating and cause for depression. Knowing that death awaits us negates hope for the future and destroys the capacity for happiness.
I believe that understanding more about death can help us live better. Judaism, by way of profound insights from the Torah as well as its mystical Kabbalistic tradition, grants us some amazing answers to what awaits us at the end of our earthly journey.
Here are five surprising ideas about death which have been part of Jewish wisdom for millennia:
1. Death is not the end of our existence
Going back to creation, the Torah describes that Adam was formed from the dust of the earth as well as from the breath of God’s spirit. We are a combination of body and soul. It is the soul which defines us as being created “in the image of God.”
There is a part of us that is eternal and outlives our mortal bodies. It’s the part that makes us unique and represents our essence. The Book of Ecclesiastes sums it up best: "And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it" (12:7).
People have asked me, “Does Judaism believe in life after death?” The answer is a resounding yes. In fact it is one of the fundamental principles of our faith.
2. At the moment of death we get a glimpse of God
When Moses asked God, “Show me please your glory” (Exodus 33:18), God responded, “You cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live” (Ibid: 20). The living cannot see God. The implication is powerful: with death however comes a vision of the Divine.
That is the reason behind the custom of immediately closing the eyes of the dead. Eyes which have perceived the glory of heaven dare no longer be exposed to the harsh reality of this world.
God’s opening words of creation were “Let there be light.” Yet the sun was not created until the fourth day. The sages explain that this was the light created for the world to come.
I have been present many times at the very moment when people expired. In almost every case it appeared clear that the dying suddenly saw a beautiful and comforting vision surrounded by light.
Remarkably, Mona Simpson, sister of Steve Jobs, in her eulogy for her famous brother, reported seeing that very scene. “Steve’s final words were monosyllables, repeated three times. Before embarking, he looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurine, and then over their shoulders past them. Steve’s final words were: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”
What he saw apparently overwhelmed him with its beauty. He could only respond to it with a three times repeated exclamation of amazement. Jewish tradition assures us we too, at the moment of death, will have this kind of revelation.
3. The dead know what is happening around them
Jewish sources tell us what happens to us immediately after death. Although much is hidden from us and remain only in the mystical teachings of Kabbalah ideally reserved for those spiritually ready for its profound messages – not to be revealed publicly but only transmitted orally from teacher to student of sufficient knowledge and wisdom, some truths are so important that they found their way into the Talmud.
One of them appears in a Mishnah of the section known as Ethics of the Fathers:
“Rabbi Yaakov says: this world is like a hallway before the world to come. Fix yourself in the hallway so that you may enter the drawing room” (Ethics of the Fathers, 4:16).
The analogy of a hallway is very striking. A hallway is but the entrance to the main domicile. Our lives on earth are the first stage of a more glorious existence.
As the Mishna says, “And one hour of pleasure in the world to come is better than all the time in this world” (Ibid.: 17).
Here on earth we seek happiness. Our pleasures are transitory; our joy is limited by our physical being. Once we pass through the hallway of our lives in a manner that makes us worthy of the rewards of heaven we are aware of our own selves, of our surroundings which make our earthly “hallway” pale in comparison, and of the true meaning of happiness transcending all that we experienced during our lifetimes.
Jewish law goes a step further. Because our soul, our real self, moves from one domain to another, we leave this world slowly, forsaking our bodies in stages.
Those tending the deceased are not permitted to eat in their presence. It would be a form of “mocking” the dead by doing something they can no longer do – and they would know it. And we must be careful of what we say in their presence – because they can still “hear it.”
That is also why the dead should never be left alone – because the soul hovers near the body shortly after its initial separation and it is aware of the love and respect shown to its vessel, the body.
Judaism also emphasizes that eulogies require special care with their remarks, not just because inappropriate statements and untrue observations might offend friends or family, but because one of the listeners is none other than the deceased as well!
4. Dying means remembering, reflecting – and facing final judgment
The Talmud says: “Akavia ben Mahalalel says: Pay careful attention to three things and you will not come to sin: know from where you came, to where you are going, and before whom you are destined to give a final account and a reckoning” (Ethics of the Fathers 3:1).
More fascinating is that the Talmud actually reveals the questions we will all be asked in our “final exam.”
- Did you conduct your business affairs honestly?
- Did you set aside regular time for Torah study?
- Did you ensure continuity of the world by having children?
- Did you look forward to the world’s redemption? (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat, 31 a)
So not only do we know that one hour of pleasure in the world to come is better than all the time in this world, but we are also told what’s required of us in order to attain its blessings. What a remarkable and kind divine gift to give us the questions to our final exam in advance. And what great advice for living a life of fulfillment which finds favor in the eyes of God and of our fellow human beings.
5. The real reason to cry about death
Why then, in Jewish thought, should people weep when they take leave of this earth? Why cry if we believe we are moving to a better location?
One of the sages of the Talmud, Rabbi Yehuda, explained it to his students on his deathbed. “If you want to know why I am crying, it is only because of the Torah and the meritorious deeds that I will no longer be able to perform.” Death deprives us of the ability to continue to serve God and to accomplish acts of kindness. Life presents us with opportunities for personal growth; death brings to a close our ability to achieve our fullest potential.
A Hasidic story with a supposedly “inside look” at what happens upstairs after death metaphorically makes the point clearly:
A very rich but miserly man passed away and was standing in line waiting to hear his final judgment. As he watched the procedure with those in line before him, he became far less fearful. He noticed that reported acts of charity had tremendous influence on the divine decree; gifts given during one’s lifetime would outweigh many sins. And so when it was his turn to stand before the heavenly judge, he said: “It’s true I may not have done all I should while I was on earth, but permit me to take out my checkbook and write out very large sums for any worthy institutions you recommend.”
To which the judge replied, “Here we do not accept checks. We only accept receipts.”
These are some of the profound insights which can replace fear with hope as we contemplate the reality we know is the eventual fate of all mankind.
Click here to purchase Rabbi Blech’s new book, Hope Not Fear: Changing the Way We View Death.
(14) Jim, October 20, 2019 3:25 PM
Rabbi Blech’s book on Death Provides Comfort
I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I read Rabbi Blechs book and was so moved and comforted that I bought it for another fellow traveler with same condition. I highly recommend it. Thank you Rabbi Blech.
(13) Emmanuelle, August 14, 2019 6:35 AM
Accepting death
I love my parents very very dearly. I'm only 20 years old but I'm so petrified that inevitably in the future they won't be with me anymore.. how can I find comfort in this? And why do people mourn others when they pass on? Isn't it like they're going to the next level?
(12) Anonymous, October 29, 2018 12:11 AM
Where does it say in the Torah that we have to Do mitzvahs to elevate the souls of the deceased ?
(11) Dvora, October 28, 2018 2:12 AM
Ethics of the Fathers
Hearing is perhaps the last sense we lose. Preferably I wish all who must depart this World be surrounded by those who love them. Not as a victim of homicide or in the presence of a Beast. Ethics of the Fathers is a book I read a lot. If you haven't yet, please do so. All you mentioned Rabbi I do, have experienced and believe.
(10) Jamie, October 27, 2018 11:54 PM
Bnai HaShoah
There many stories of reincarnated souls, some from the holocaust. I am one of them. I remember pain and joy. I have been able to verify many of my memories. There is a G-d and I am happy to be alive and have kept my memories.
From my experience, I find the Rabbi’s account to be accurate and enlightening. Thank you Rabbi for your work.
From a very grateful Bat HaShoah.
Anonymous, May 19, 2019 3:49 PM
Reincarnations of the Shoah
A Rabbi once said that there is no reason for someone who went through the shoah to be reincarnated since going through the shoah itself is a tikun for the soul.
(9) jay, October 27, 2018 3:07 AM
Great messages
and at the right time
(8) Broom, October 26, 2018 3:23 AM
PROOF?
Just wondering, is there any proof that any of this actually occurs, or is this all just part of your wishful imagination?
Because if there is no real proof of any of this outside your imagination, you are all just living in a delusion.
Anonymous, October 26, 2018 5:44 PM
Faulty logic
Lack of proof does not mean it is delusion. Only positive proof that it is false makes it a delusion. These beliefs are from a very strong tradition not just imagination. You may choose not to believe it, but I don't think you can those who do delusional.
Nina, October 28, 2018 4:56 AM
Documented Near-Death Experiences
There are several books of documented near-death experiences where the nearly-deceased describe their experiences, sometimes with facts they couldn't have known if they had not been "out-of body. Please check out "Near-Death Experiences" and you will see that many of these statements are corroborated by people's ( of all and no faiths) testimonies.
(7) Rachel, October 24, 2018 11:26 PM
I wish this were emphasized more
I’m not suggesting we should talk about nothing else, but Judaism is perceived as a downer contrasted with the other major western faiths because there is so little emphasis on Olam Haba in most Jewish classes, books, funerals, etc. We need to live good lives because it’s a mitzvah, and we need mitzvot to bring us closer to Hashem both in this world and in the world to come.
(6) Darija, October 24, 2018 11:46 AM
This article is so wonderful, it touched me deeply...I just have one question
As I was reading this article, I started crying from relief and comfort I started to feel. I lost many family members and a close friend, but I was present only when my father was dying from cancer. He wasn't able to talk, but I know he could hear me until the very last moment. The last time he opened his eyes was one day before he passed away. Neither were we able to say goodbye to him, nor was he able to have his final words because he was too weak, and by the time the doctors told us of what is about to happen to him, he could no longer communicate. When he passed away, everyone referred to it as "He fell asleep". Unfortunately, I wasn't raised in Jewish faith. It has only been several years before I found out that through my mother's side I have some Jewish blood which I found so natural, because I was inexplicably drawn to everything Jewish since I was a child. I started doing my research on Torah, as well as my family, but it's really hard to understand everything being separated from its teaching for the first 20 years of my life. So here comes my question. We were told by one Rabbi that death is like a long dreamless sleep until all the dead wake up in their immortal bodies when the Mashiach comes to us. According to Kohelet 9:7-10: "Go, eat your bread joyfully and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already accepted your deeds.At all times, let your garments be white, and let oil not be wanting on your head.Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of the life of your vanity, whom He has given you under the sun, all the days of your vanity, for that is your portion in life and in your toil that you toil under the sun.Whatever your hand attains to do [as long as you are] with your strength, do; for there is neither deed nor reckoning, neither knowledge nor wisdom in the grave, where you are going."
I hope that you can understand my confusion - if the body is dead, and the spirit returns to God, what happens to consciousness?
Dvora, October 30, 2018 5:09 PM
Darija
Consciousness never dies. It is a product of one's soul.
Raymond, June 3, 2019 5:06 AM
Resurrection of the Dead
According to my understanding, when a person dies, their souls remain in limbo until the time when the Real Messiah will come, and resurrect the dead. It is proper that it be this way, as coming back to life on this Earth rewards our physical selves that enabled us to earn reward through doing G-d's Commandments while on this Earth. I realize that it may seem unfair for our souls to be in a state of limbo until the resurrection, but keep in mind that the spiritual world is beyond time. Time has no meaning to it, and thus lying there in limbo, does not necessarily mean that one's disembodied soul is suffering in any way.
(5) Tony, October 24, 2018 4:26 AM
I believe the above article
Is an accurate reflection - it happened with my Father when he passed. It was very similar, except that he had a NDE the night before he passed, which he shared with me. Two days prior I read him Kohelet, which he had never read (he made me read it twice!) He passed in absolute peace, where prior to reading Kohelet he had been very troubled.
(4) Clifton, October 23, 2018 3:04 PM
That was incredible. Having recently lost three loved ones within six months;sister in law, mother in law and then my own father, this wisdom is ever more comforting.
(3) Rabbi Ethan Adler, October 23, 2018 2:31 PM
Non-empirical ideas
Interpretations are interesting and worth pondering. Some may even give us comfort and hope, and ease the pain of the separation of death. However, we must realize that any thoughts about what happens after we die is 100% mere speculation - none of us really knows what happens after we pass. It is important to make note that ideas about the soul, after-life, the Messiah are all non-empirical - can not be proven or tested.
Having said that, I believe that what Judaism proclaims about what happens after we die is far and above more comforting than what is offered by many other religions. I can say the same for our mourning rituals.
Sharon, October 24, 2018 11:45 AM
empirical proof
The veracity of the Torah itself can not be empirically proven, though there is a great deal of evidence that lend it credibility and even probability. Bottom line - faith is a choice.
I found Rabbi Blech's descriptions here reasonable and in agreement with the ideas I've come accross, but there is very little in the Torah to determine anything about the soul and the next world.
Proof we'll have when it no longer matters.
Anonymous, October 24, 2018 10:39 PM
empirical ideas
Very disturbing to read when a 'rabbi' has such an athiestic answer to what we, Jews, believe and must believe according to the '13 Principles of Faith'. The Torah, both the Written and Oral, is Divine. What man's finite mind thinks, no matter how logical in his own mind, means nothing. This Rabbi must be some kind of Reform rabbi. No Orthodox rabbi would give such a heretical explanation. Rabbi Blech's article was spot on!
(2) Daniel Frank, October 23, 2018 1:45 PM
Death and Memory
When my grandmother`s sister died, I knew that my grandmother, both Holocaust survivors, would not survive the coming of Moshiach and I cried heavily. I hope that the Techiyat Ha'Meitim will happen soon.
(1) Sydne, October 22, 2018 8:15 PM
An eye opener!
I truly learned something fromRabbi Blech’s
Article above.
Thankyou