In the midst of teaching a series of classes in San Francisco on the topic of suffering, my wife and I received the diagnosis that our daughter Rivka had leukemia – a cancer of the blood system. This began a very long process of dealing with our daughter's illness, beginning when she was two years old and continuing until she passed away at age 14.
Within the first week of diagnosis we were given a very optimistic prognosis: 85-90% likelihood for complete recovery. She would need to receive 26 months of chemotherapy, mostly on an outpatient basis. After that, varying degrees of follow-up check-ups would be gradually reduced to only once a year. Initially everything seemed to go according to plan. Following these initial two years of treatment, we were very hopeful that as the years went on, our daughter's leukemia would eventually become a thing of the past. She remained in remission and off treatment for seven additional years, during which time we returned to live in Israel.
Rivka's leukemia, which had somehow remained dormant and undetected for almost 10 years, came back into all of our lives – a less than 1% likelihood.
Unfortunately, the nightmare, which every parent of a cancer survivor fears, occurred right after Shavuot, in May, 1999. Her leukemia, which had somehow remained dormant and undetected for almost 10 years, came back into all of our lives. Rivka was then 11 years old. The doctors told us that this was almost unheard of, less than 1% likelihood.
Our daughter's prognosis for a recovery was now significantly worse, and we were advised to attempt the risky procedure of a bone marrow transplant. This involves significantly higher doses of chemotherapy along with intensive radiation over the entire body in order to completely obliterate the person's blood and immune system. The hope was that this would also eliminate the leukemia in Rivka's blood system.
Fortunately, Rivka's baby brother, Yehudah, not quite two years old, was a complete bone marrow match.
She received the bone marrow transplant from her brother just before Rosh Hashanah, in Sept, 1999. It was a tremendously difficult process, involving a complete quarantine for over two months until her immune system was able to rebuild itself. Rivka successfully accepted the transplant and was able to leave the hospital after three months, just a few weeks before her bat mitzvah. Ten months after receiving the bone marrow transplant, however, Rivka suffered a relapse of her leukemia. At that point, her odds of recovery, according to standard medicine, became dramatically worse. We had already tried everything conventional – chemotherapy for over two years, intensive radiation, plus transplanting an entirely separate immune system into her. That was when we decided to add "Ruchama," which means "compassion", to her name. This is customarily done only in cases of very serious illness, as a type of plea to God that she should merit receiving extra compassion.
We attempted a number of different experiments involving a remarkable total of three additional bone marrow transplants over the following two years. The first two transplants, which came from her brother, lasted six months each before she relapsed. The final one, which she received from an unrelated donor in England, only lasted a couple of months. In the end, it was the complications from this transplant that caused her to pass away, early Shabbat morning, this past 19th of Tammuz (June 29th, 2002).
I want to share some of the lessons that my wife and I gained throughout this difficult process that we found particularly meaningful and comforting, in the hope that they will provide comfort to others who may be facing challenges in their lives. Whatever good can come from our tragic situation should be a very significant merit for Ruchama Rivka, may peace be upon her.
"COMFORTING" VS. "COMFORTABLE"
One of the most well known books on suffering is "When Bad things Happen to Good People," written by a Conservative rabbi named Harold Kushner. In his introduction, he explains that he wrote the book in response to a terrible family tragedy – his son had been born with a rapid aging disease and had died at the age of 14.
In order to reconcile a loving God with the existence of suffering, he presents a view of God that is antithetical to the traditional Torah understanding of a powerful and benevolent Creator Who personally supervises the events in all of our lives. He describes a God completely removed from the world, incapable of either intervention or supervision. His answer to "Why bad things happen to good people" is that God did not cause the difficulties to occur, nor could He have even prevented them from happening. "Fate, not God, sends us the problem…Life is not fair. The wrong people get sick and the wrong people get robbed and the wrong people get killed in wars and in accidents."
How could one find comfort within Kushner's chaotic universe that is necessarily devoid of reason, purpose, and meaning?
Curiously, various reviewers of the book describe it as a source of comfort. "An unprecedented source of comfort and reassurance," "Comforting answers," "Will comfort and enlighten."
How could one find comfort within Kushner's chaotic universe that is necessarily devoid of reason, purpose, and meaning? What could be more bleak and depressing?
Perhaps the answer comes from misunderstanding two fundamentally different concepts – "comforting" and "comfortable."
According to the traditional Torah perspective, God created the universe exclusively for our benefit and our pleasure. And not only did He create it that way, He continues to sustain and supervise everything for our ultimate good. While this view of the world is very comforting – because whatever happens fits into some greater, purposeful reality – it can also be quite uncomfortable since it involves clear obligations, responsibilities, and consequences.
The other perspective, in which nothing is supervising the events of the world, may feel quite comfortable due to its lack of obligations and consequences. However, it ultimately offers no possibility for comfort because there is no meaning, and no greater reality for all the events of our lives to fit into.
Victor Frankel, a prominent psychiatrist who developed his treatment methodology from his experiences in the concentration camps, explains in his classic work, "Man's Search for Meaning," that we can deal with anything in our lives as long as it has meaning. Without meaning, even the most trivial events can be devastating.
He writes:
"…any attempt to restore a man's inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal. Nietzsche's words, "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how," could be the guiding motto for all…efforts regarding prisoners. Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why – an aim – for their lives, in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost."
MEANING FROM SUFFERING
The Talmud gives us direction on how to derive meaning from suffering:
Rava said: If a man sees that afflictions are coming upon him, he should examine his deeds, as it says, “Let us search and examine our ways, and return to God” (Lamentations 3:40; Talmud Brachot 5a).
Taking God seriously means taking the time to think of what areas in our life require fixing or elevation.
The basis of this introspection must be our realization that a complete and perfect God is only interested in our good. The Hebrew word "onish," which is usually translated as "punishment," is more accurately understood as a combination of both consequences and therapy. Taking God seriously means taking the time to think of what areas in our life require fixing or elevation. As unpleasant and uncomfortable as this attempt at introspection and improvement may be, it does, however, mean that we are relating to whatever occurred to us in a meaningful manner.
It is ultimately the individual's response to his personal suffering that determines the meaning of his difficult circumstances, and whether its impact will be positive or negative.
Most of us accept the reality of an All-Powerful, All-Caring God. As Rabbi Ari Kahn, a teacher at Aish Hatorah, points out, one of the clearest indications of this is the very question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" The question is based on our expectation of fairness and justice that seems to have been violated. We seem to expect that bad things should not happen to good people. This expectation of fairness and justice only makes sense within a world that is supervised by an All-Powerful and All-Caring God.
However, since this reality of God can feel so uncomfortable, many of us have a strong resistance to incorporating its awareness into our daily lives. Quite often, God's reality seeps into our consciousness particularly when we are confronted with tragedy. Thus "there are no atheists in foxholes." Only when we feel that we are surrounded by the proverbial “foxhole,” with the mortar shells falling down around us, are we willing to – at least temporarily – give up our so-called "atheism".
ACCEPTING TRAGEDY WITH SIMCHA?
There seem to be two contradictory aspects to how Judaism wants us to relate to difficulties that occur in this world. On the one hand, mourners at the funeral of a close relative must express what he or she sees as bad with a blessing of acknowledgement and acceptance – "Baruch Dayan HaEmet" – "Blessed is the True Judge." On the other hand, this blessing is supposed to be said with "simcha," generally translated as "joy."
How do we reconcile these two aspects?
I realized, while making this blessing on the day of Ruchama Rivka’s funeral, that there are two distinct aspects to every tragedy that occurs. First, there is the intense pain of the loss. Beyond this, is the possibility of nechama, comfort.
The pain of loss is obvious. Losing a child is like having a limb amputated. The pain of loss will always exist. Time will never wash away this tragic loss. However, time does help us to adjust to living with this new reality of the “missing limb.”
Then there is nechama – true comfort that comes from the realization that everything that happens in this world serves some ultimate purpose. This nechamah, however, does not require understanding the real nature of this metaphysical reality beyond our world. In the future, when all of the difficulties and pain in our present-day world will finally come to an end, we'll be able to look back and understand why everything that occurred to us needed to happen. Although we may presently lack this full understanding of their necessity, there is a tremendous comfort and consolation right now in simply knowing that they do all fit in to some bigger picture, and therefore the suffering and the pain is not for nothing.
"There is no deed, small or great, whose ultimate end is not the universal perfection, as stated by our sages [Brachot 60b]: 'All that is done by Heaven is for the good.' For in time to come the Holy One, Blessed be He, will make known His ways…showing how even the chastisements and tribulations were precursors of good and actual preparation for blessing. For the Holy One, Blessed be He, desires only the perfection of His creation." (Daas Tevunos, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto)
Our family experienced a dramatic example of awareness of purpose helping to make even severe pain manageable. The main experimental treatment methodology for Ruchama Rivka, once all the conventional approaches had failed, required the creation of a very debilitating condition within her immunological system. However, since she understood that this was her best chance for a cure, she actually welcomed this exceptionally painful process. If you know the suffering is for a purpose, if you know there's some bigger reality, then even severe pain can be somewhat manageable.
As the Chazon Ish, one of the greatest Jewish leaders of the previous generation, expressed this in terms of the Holocaust: "For the believer there are no questions, for one who is not, there are no answers."
While this approach does not eliminate the suffering, it can help us to receive consolation, knowing it is all ultimately for the good.
This is the key to understanding the requirement to say the blessing of "Blessed is the True Judge" with "simcha" – usually translated as "joy." Rashi, in his commentary on the Talmud, explains that this means we need to strive "to make a blessing on the difficult situations with a complete heart." "Simcha" in this context, means being at peace, without any challenges or complaints. Specifically through the awareness that the terrible tragedies of this world fit into the overall picture of a much larger reality, even if beyond our present day understanding, it becomes possible to accept them.
In a manner which is impossible for me to articulate, as I actually made the blessing of "Baruch Dayan HaEmet" – "Blessed is the True Judge" at the funeral, I did feel the intensity of the pain actually mixed with an awareness of being at peace.
LOSS OF POTENTIAL
Besides the unavoidable pain of loss, there is also the feeling of how much more this person could have done with their life – especially a young person who passed away so tragically early. This second pain, however, is clearly based on assumptions that are impossible for us to ever know. For Ruchama Rivka, it was specifically through difficulties that her life had perhaps its greatest meaning. Via email and the Internet, as well as simply word-of-mouth, her story and her battle for life managed to touch literally thousands of people around the world. Along with widespread prayers on her behalf, numerous spiritual efforts were initiated and dedicated to her recovery. Her numerous challenges, particularly during these last three years, elevated all those around her to a much deeper appreciation of spirituality.
Ruchama Rivka fulfilled her role more completely than most people do in their entire lifetime.
Through their identification with the "foxhole of difficulties" surrounding her, they felt compelled to acquire this deeper awareness of reality in their own lives as well. The absurdity of even attempting to evaluate anyone's loss of potential accomplishment serves as a strong nechama for this second category of pain.
It's important not to confuse our pain from the loss with the thought that we have a legitimate complaint against God. Our numerous expectations cause us to both devalue the blessings we have, as well as to complain when those expectations are not met. From Ruchama Rivka’s “perspective” in her present world of complete truth and clarity, there are certainly no complaints. She entered this world with an enormous task ahead of her, to lift and inspire many individuals through the very great difficulties that she faced during her life. She fulfilled her role more completely than most people do in their entire lifetime.
She is now able to appreciate not only every one of her own accomplishments, but also every one of the accomplishments that she inspired in others. This explains why the focus of the mourning process is specifically to comfort the mourners who are left in this present "World of Darkness," not for the deceased that is now in the "World of Light." As one of my wife's teachers told her during the shivah, according to Jewish tradition, after the soul leaves this world, it begs for the family to be comforted.
While Ruchama Rivka was still battling her leukemia, I felt strongly that if somehow it would be possible for her to fully recover, we would probably end up looking back on this entire challenge, with all of its incredible lessons and realizations, as the best thing that had ever happened to our family. At this point, I can merely say that I would certainly never trade the realizations and achievements that we acquired throughout this difficult period of time for anything else.
In terms of their true spiritual impact, however, all prayers are answered "Yes."
There's an expression: "All prayers are answered. Sometimes, however, the answer is, 'No.'" While this is true to some degree, it is also quite limited. The answer "No" is only true in terms of their physical impact in this world. In terms of their true spiritual impact, however, all prayers are answered "Yes." There's never such a thing as a prayer or a mitzvah that's offered in vain. Every single effort makes an eternal difference, both in this world as well as in the world to come.
One of my relatives told me that upon hearing that Ruchama Rivka had passed away, her daughter had said to her, "But I prayed for her so strongly!"
I told the mother to explain to her daughter that by praying so strongly, she gave her the best possible present she ever could have. And Ruchama Rivka, may peace be upon her, is fully enjoying that present right now.
Ruchama Rivka spent much of the last three years of her life at Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem, sometimes for weeks or even months at a time. Our family has established an endowment fund in her memory to help Hadassah's Children's Oncology Dept.
Donations can be sent to:
Ruchama Rivka Children's Cancer Fund
c/o Dr. Michael Weintraub,
Pediatric Oncology Dept.,
Hadassah Ein Kerem,
Jerusalem, Israel,
91120.
Rabbi Asher Resnick is now available for private learning by phone or Skype! Formerly a lecturer at the Institute of Jewish Legal and Medical Ethics in San Francisco, and Aish NY, Rabbi Resnick is now a senior training lecturer for Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem. As a close student of Rav Noach Weinberg zt"l, he has a special expertise in presenting Jewish wisdom for living, addressing fundamental issues in Jewish Thought, and bringing classical texts to life. To make arrangements to learn with Rabbi Resnick, contact him directly at aresnick@aish.com.
(32) Anonymous, May 20, 2019 4:05 PM
Thank you Rabbi Resnick
Even after all these years, the life of your dear Ruchama Rivka a"h continues to inspire others. Thank you for helping us develop the clarity to recognize that while "pain is a reality, suffering is a choice" that is potentially avoidable if one is able to have the right perspective.
You and your family should be gebentched!
(31) Stuart, January 21, 2015 6:10 AM
Amazing ability to hold onto your belief!
Maybe illness happens by chance. Just llike evolution and human history. There is no rhyme or reason. No one looking out for us. Maybe the only thing that matters is us believing in each other. Believing in science and progress and the fact that jews Muslims Christians r all the same. We're all just fragile people looking to our ancient myths to make sense of our frailties until the next generation of progressive people come along to drag our sorry superstitious tribes into the next level of progress. Maybe out inability to let go of our ancient superstition actually impedes our ability to find cures for diseases or solutions to our wars.
(30) Libby, November 12, 2014 4:49 AM
Beautiful and meaningful
Thank you, Rabbi Resnick, for this beautifully written article. I am a Leukemia survivor and I must say this is a tremendous Chizuk to me. Thank you for inspiring me just when I needed a boost. May Hashem have mercy on us all and may we hear happy news only.
(29) Bracha Goetz, November 10, 2014 1:05 AM
Powerful and beautiful!
(28) Leslie Ann, November 9, 2014 5:43 PM
My friend died of cancer in my presence
I found out a few months ago that my friend in Israel was very sick with cancer and most likely dying. I rushed over to see him from Canada. He was in very bad shape but with my arrival he perked up. He was also at Hadassah in Jerusalem. After about a week he asked me to stay over at the hospital with him. I did. During that month our bond became so strong and so close. We had had a difficult history and on Tom Kippur he apologized. I told him that when I found out how sick he was I let all that go but I thanked him and I apologized too. He called me sweetie constantly and told me he loved me as I did him. After he would throw up and or be in pain I would hug him and tell him how much I loved him and kiss him on the head even though he had the smell of someone whowas dying. He died peacefully in his sleep one month later on Oct 9 2014. I am very sad and miss him so much but I would not have traded that experiece for anything in the world. You told me I was your light sweetheart and you are mine as well forever.
(27) Anonymous, November 9, 2014 12:31 PM
Thank you for sharing this powerful
and incredibly inspiring article. I've learnt so much from it. And I've learnt so much from "hearing" the faith in your "voice" in the article. Powerful.
That picture of Ruchama by her bas mitzvah with you is incredible. She actually looks happy, strong, after all she had gone through. What a human being. What emuna. Who would believe she was twelve years old.
May Hashem comfort you and your family among all other mourners of Zion in Jerusalem.
(26) Alex R. Hernandez, September 1, 2005 12:00 AM
I have a friend who was asking me why his granddaughter had a tumor in her head. She is alive after surgery. Her chances are not well known at this time. Although I am a devout Christian, I had nothing really profound or meaningful to offer him. How can I say that I know what he is going through when I have never experienced the same thing? Thanks ever so much for this contribution. May God continue to bless.
(25) Michal, September 10, 2003 12:00 AM
Thank you for sharing
Dear Rabbi Asher Resnick!
Through sharing with us what happened to you I learned a lot.
For the first time in my life I blessed G-d for the things that make me normally weep. It helped. In the same way it helped you. Shalom!
(24) Sally Dominguez, February 9, 2003 12:00 AM
Inspiring
Your story was very touching, my own heart aches for your family's loss. I can not imagine losing my daughter. However, your daughter touched the lives of many and continues to do so. I know that she has touched mine. Thank you so much for sharing your story. May G-d continue to bless you and your family, and may you be strengthened and comforted.
(23) Aura Slovin, January 27, 2003 12:00 AM
Inspired by your Faith
Your story of your daughter Ruchama Rivka Oleh HaShalom touched my soul. Your ability to see with such clarity the hand of Hashem in all that occurred and your overall outlook of the developments were truly inspiring.
I am a pediatric nurse and in the past I could never imagine caring for terminally ill children (or those with fair-to-poor prognosis'). I wanted to care for those children who had acute illnesses and would get better and go home from the hospital hale and hearty.
That is until I met "Shaindy". Today I work in a home care agency, visiting patients who are homebound. "Shaindy" is a five year old girl with a Brain Tumor that was discovered when she was three months old. The Doctor's gave her 6-9 months at best.
Without giving too much detail, "Shaindy" is not in remission totally and requires ongoing chemotherapy however I have allowed myself to fall in love with this child who never wants me to go home and constantly tells me how much she loves me! She and her family are still suffering and she has peaks and valleys in her ongoing crisis. However I did learn a valuable lesson from her, That every moment of life is so precious and jam packed with potential that many of us fail to realize. In addition I have learned to see that the "Shaindys" of the world in Olam Hazeh bring that realization home and enable the people who come in contact with them the opportunity for unbelievable growth in this regard and to show true compassion and love to a fellow Jew who is suffering. May Hashem Yisboruch send a Refuah Shlaima, Refuas Hanefesh and Refuas Haguf to all Choleh Am Yisroel and may he bring Moshiach Tzidkeinu Bimheira B'Yamainu
(22) Trudy, January 24, 2003 12:00 AM
you have humbled me with such great dignity
You have humbled me wth such dignity.
(21) Anonymous, January 22, 2003 12:00 AM
You're an inspiration
Dear Rabbi Asher & Family,
We miss you and your family very much. You've always been an inspiration. You made an incredible impact on my life. I still remember, 9+ years later, many many of the Torahs you shared with me.
Once again, you're helping. With a Down Syndrome daughter, I often need the extra strength.
Thank you!
(20) Anonymous, January 22, 2003 12:00 AM
A Suggestion
Thankyou Rabbi Resnick for your eloquence on so difficult, yet so crucial, a subject.
I recently began studying a book entitled "Making Sense of Suffering" based on Rabbi Y. Kirzner's lessons which he taught and began to write about until he succumbed to his illness.
Hopefully, my fellow aish.com readers will also find comfort while coming to understand the fundamentals presented in this book (published by Artscroll) which elaborates on some of Rabbi Resnick's realizations; taking important issues and illuminating them brilliantly.
May Hashem contine to comfort you...
(19) Judah Rosen, January 22, 2003 12:00 AM
todah rabah
the message I will keep with me and hold in my heart - it is so clear and so true!
(18) Anonymous, January 22, 2003 12:00 AM
Words fail me
Dar Rabbi Asher and Family,
On Sept. 9, 2001, I lost my "nephew" (my closest friend's son) to leukemia at the age of 15. As merely an "aunt", I can only say how devastating this loss was for me, and cannot even imagine your pain. Having stumbled upon your article on my brother's computer just now, I wanted to express my deepest sympathies to you all and your article has helped me to question my way of mourning. Perhaps I will pursue these questions and discuss them with our rabbi. I just wanted you to know that my heartfelt sympathies are with you all and that I admire your strenth and convictions.
Sincerely,
Charlene Guller
(17) Anonymous, January 21, 2003 12:00 AM
wow
May Hashem comfort you and your family. Your story truly touched me and makes me kind of cry and be at peace at the same time.
(16) E. Gordon, January 21, 2003 12:00 AM
So Moving...
I was deeply moved twice. Once through reading your essay, and once more reading the "Visitor Comments"
(15) miriam bat tabitha, January 21, 2003 12:00 AM
Thank you - I will add Ruchmama to my own neme
Thank you for your story. I was an engineer with a semiconductor company in Massachusetts and was exposed to arsenic and poison gases in 1998. Waiting for more consequences. Alav Hashalom for your daughter. Miriam
(14) Marci Braunstein, January 21, 2003 12:00 AM
Heather
Rivka sounds like a very special girl. We lost our precious daughter Heather to leukemia 14 1/2 months ago. When she died, my husband has turned away from religion completely. My Rabbi and I have been looking for something to help him find his way back. A friend who lost their wonderful son to leukemia suggested reading this article. I hope it helps. Thank you for sharing.
(13) Tanya, January 20, 2003 12:00 AM
Beautifully Articulated
What a wonderful account,has definately served to encourage me and renew my hope. - Thank You .
(12) Anonymous, January 20, 2003 12:00 AM
similar situation
I can relate to this whole tragic situation; a dear friend of mine had a young child who suffered from luekomia for one and a half years. He was niftar at the young age of three. Tovy had two bone marrow from his six year old brother. He relapsed twice and then was niftar just two months after he started wearing his kippah and tzizis. Tovy's neshama definitely came down just to remind those that were affected to daven and so that we should be m'kabel to become better people.
It took me a long time to accept the loss of his precious neshama and I really appreciated this article, because it put my mixed up thoughts in order.
(11) Anonymous, January 20, 2003 12:00 AM
May Hashem give us all strength
Rabbi Resnick and Family may Hashem comfort you all amongst the mourners of Israel and Zion.
Eithteen years ago my son died of Leukeamia and the scar is still new and easily opened up. But we learnt a lot from him and today we are brining up a family of Torah observant children in his zechus. He was a very brave and up right little boy who brought light and joy into the life of everyone he touched. That he was niftar on his birthday says it all.
Thank you for a wonderful article it brought back many memories of all the good that was achieved by these children in their lifetimes. May we all be zochar to the coming of Meshiach in our lifetimes.
(10) Ben W., January 20, 2003 12:00 AM
Dear Rabbi and Rebbtzin Resnick and family,
Though I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain and sadness that you have been through, I would like to wish you a long life, and may He comfort you and your family, and may He bless you and your family with only good things from now on.
Ben W.
Sydney Australia
(9) Ron Manoah, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
May Ruchama Rivka rest in peace
I can relate to this story since I had leymphoma three years ago. Hope and wish good and helthy life to all Bney-Israel.
(8) Anonymous, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
Wow! How moving and insightful!
There are no words to describe my pain for you and your wife upon reading this article. I only hope that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives you the strength to continue living with Simchah nachas from the rest of your family. Your words made me cry and feel okay at the same time, but for you I only feel sorrow. May you know only joy and Yiddishe Nachas!
(7) Donald Aspinall, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
My wife died of this desease
My first wife Anne died of leukema in 1963. At that time the medecine of today and radiation was not available nor was the blood transfusions.
My condolances and feelings for the entire family is unmeasureable in terms of others understanding this problem.
(6) rav gedalia zweig, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
very moving
Dear Asher,
One could feel the pain of your story,yet one is uplifted when you
accept the will of the Almighty.
You give comfort to us. I am finishing
the 11 month period of Kaddish for my
mom. I would like to hear how you managed during the Kaddish period for
your daughter. Your friend Gedalia Zweig Toronto
(5) Harvey and Sheila Hecker, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
We think of you and the family often and thank you for helping us to understand how one can work one`s way through the very difficult ordeal that you all experienced.
May you all be blessed with Many Simchas in your life and may you continue to inspire others with the great faith that you have.
Thank you for writing your article. It will be helpful to so many others.
G-D bless you all
Harvey and Sheila
(4) Lee Grayson, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
Your story is deeply touching. I pray that you find peace. Elie Wiesel says that there are no true answers to life's true questions. Never ask why. But it is very difficult to accept g-d's wisdom as being part of a greater scheme. Granted man is to g-d as an amoeba is to man. Nonetheless, your daughter's passing makes no sense to us 'mere' mortals or at least to me. Perhaps you can find peace because you did all you could do to thwart g-d's plan and keep your daughter here on earth in an attempt to give her a meaningful life. Perhaps her passing tells us that we need to focus on the real battles in life - cancer, aids, starvation and other diseases that saps the lives from our young people. May be its time to turn bombs into significant medical advances so that people can be saved. May you and your family find peace.
Lee
(3) Rochel Chana, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
May Hashem bless you and your family
My Poppa passed away from cancer and in his merit I have taken on mitzoth's to elevate his Nashama even higher. He taught me so much when he was sick. May his soul rest in peace. And may you and your family forever continue to do mitzvot's in the merit of your Ruchama Rivka.
Rachel
Age 10
USA
(2) Nava, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
Thank you for giving us chizuk in these times when we surely need it as much as ever! Hopefully, very soon there will come a time when we will all look back at what has happened in this world, and see that there really was an order to the seeming chaos around us.
(1) Robert Block, January 19, 2003 12:00 AM
Dealing with trajedy
Rabbi Resnick,
Chaim aruchim.
Your article is both moving and though provoking. Having read Rabbi Kushner's book, I agree that it is hashkafically difficult. However, you both draw simmilar conclusions from different understanding's of Hashem's direct role in the world. That he has provided us wth the abilities to rise to the challanges we are faced with and find and infuse them with meaning.
As a medical student, I am faced regularly with patients who seem not to deserve their suffering. But many demonstrate an enormous resourcefulness and desire to make the most of what they do have, and raise both themselves and others around them to greater hights. This si something that you and Rabbi Kushner would agree is a gift from Hashem.
May you and your family be comforted by the almighty with the morners of Zion and Yerushalyim.
Robert Block
Birmingham UK