"But, but, but ... that's a souvenir... from my trip to Japan!"
"Are we going to hang this in our home in Israel?"
"No, I guess not."
I tossed the fabric wall hanging of a Japanese geisha onto the pile of things heading for Goodwill. My husband, Mike, was a little sad, but knew he had made the right decision. Next we sifted through old cassettes, posters, tchachkes, and a bizarre statue of a gorilla that used to grace the mantle back in Mike's bachelor days. They all ended up in the Goodwill pile. You may be wondering why this event was worthy of documentation, and I'd love to tell you.
We don't have any immediate plans to move to Israel.
We dream of moving someday, but we're definitely not at the point where we would even think of starting to pack our things. I look at the photos on the Nefesh b'Nefesh website with tears in my eyes. We talk to friends who have made the move. Mike even met with a builder who is developing a new town next to Ramat Beit Shemesh. But, we're just not ready to take the plunge. Four generations of my family live near us here in Seattle. I love that my kids have their grandparents and great-grandparents in their lives. I've tried to convince them all to move with us, but no one is budging. And thus our dream remains a dream.
Why do we keep dreaming? Because we would like to live in a country where our holidays are the national holidays. In Israel we wouldn't get strange looks from passers-by while walking around the mall ("What's that beanie thing on your head called?"). Mike wouldn't have to explain to his boss about taking time off of work for a holiday, or not answering emails on Shabbat. He occasionally says he feels like he needs a passport when going back and forth between work and home, and it isn't because of the time it takes for him to commute! At business dinners he'll find himself sipping a coke with empty table space in front of him, while his colleagues enjoy their meat and wine ("They have a dish that's vegetarian. You can eat that, right?"). And don't even get me started about the fact that I have to drive 20-30 minutes to get to the nearest kosher butcher! We also like the idea of living our daily life around sites and landmarks that have historical, religious and cultural significance to us. History seems almost palpable in Israel.
Eretz Yisrael is a special place. Most people I know have a story about how a taxi driver/bus driver/stranger on the street did something kind for them, simply because they are a fellow Jew. The US has been wonderful and for the most part hospitable towards the Jews. We've prospered here, but at the end of the day this is not our country.
If something is not meeting the standard for our home in the Holy Land, why have it in our current home?
So, why are we knee deep in junk in our basement, deciding what we'll pack, if we won't be leaving for years? This is my new litmus test. This is how we clean house. This is how we keep the dream fresh and alive. There are a few facets of this test: First, how many of our material possessions are important enough that we would be willing to schlep them to another continent? (This was my argument against the gorilla.)
Second, how many things do we have in our home now that we would not want in our home in the Holy Land? (The Geisha.)
Third, if something doesn't pass through these two move-to-Israel filters, why keep it in Seattle? Why not get rid of it now? Why not make our home in Seattle a place where careful thought is put into what is seen, heard and sat upon? If something is not meeting the standard for our home in the Holy Land, why is it okay to have it in our current home? Away go the piles of old paperbacks, clothes, mismatched wine glasses, junky old stereo equipment, love letters from college boyfriends or girlfriends, and on and on.
This project has also begun to affect what I purchase. For example, we've been married for four years now, and I'm still using a folding TV tray as my nightstand. I had been watching for sales, trying to coordinate with my antique dresser, deciding on color, style, etc. But just this month, it occurred to me; why buy a nightstand, and then have to pay to have it shipped to Israel someday? I'll make-do with my TV tray, and buy myself a nice nightstand when I get to Israel. A little reminder that we are living in the Diaspora is good to have around.
This has been more than a cleaning project for us. By having the bottom line be "Is this coming with us to Israel?" we're reshaping our current priorities and needs. While scrounging around in our Seattle basement, we're redefining what we will surround ourselves with spiritually, culturally and physically when we unpack our boxes in Israel, someday...
(30) S.LevyS.LevysssSSSSDSsSs., May 14, 2019 4:41 PM
Material
It isn´t a matter of physical objects, it´s what these objects represent as souvenirs, memories, lived events, friends, family, school,life itself. A scarf is after all just a piece of clothing, but where did it come from? How was it obtained? What event does it represent? That´s the real valur of any object.
(29) Anonymous, January 17, 2014 1:53 AM
We Americans have a sickness: collecting/having too much "stuff." I have been going through things in my house and I ask myself, "If I move to Israel tomorrow, would I bring this?" If the answer is no, it's gets thrown out/given away. I am paring waaay down, but besides being very liberating, If I do buy something, I ask first, "do I need this, or do I just want it? Would I bring it to Israel? I feel it really is bringing me closer to my dream of returning permanently to Israel. And no, I don't miss anything I've gotten rid of - - so why the heck did I have it in the first place?
(28) joan, August 9, 2013 10:07 PM
why do jews want to go to Israel
To the writer who intimated that Jews go to Israel because they want t0 get away from problems here .... that it isn't the case.
I suspect that most people who make Aliyah have very good lives here... it has nothing to do with materialism... prosperity,
friends or even family.
it stems from a need to make a spiritual connection with our roots.
Jews are a nation with a common religion. We have a collective spirit with which many of us want to connect.
We also share a collective memory of a tragic history..(aside from the Holocaust) and of something that's existential... beyond ourselves.
it doesn't mean we don't love the U.S. or Canada. It simply means that no matter how good our lives are here we have a need for something only our historic homeland can provide.
The reality is that living in Israel isn't easy... and chances are slim that you would ever have the prosperous life you might have here.
And some people try to make Aliyah and cant make the cultural adjustment if nothing else.
So please understand that people who make Aliyah are not running away from something they are running to something.
(27) Kenneth, June 24, 2013 1:21 AM
Moving to Israel
I want to move to Israel and have wanted to for the past 15 years. How do I go about starting this? I live in the USA
Anonymous, August 26, 2013 3:34 PM
Starting
In case you still don't know: one way to start is by visiting the Nefesh B'Nefesh site. It has just about everything you need to know about making aliyah.
(26) yojewmama, January 25, 2012 4:57 AM
nu?
nearly six years later. did you move yet? did you buy a night stand or are you still holding fast to the idea that you'll move? i hope you're here are that you find the strength to move soon. hatzlacha!
(25) chava, March 15, 2011 2:54 PM
My only regret is that I didn't come sooner.
I'm here now, in Israel. I brought stuff I shouldn't have bothered bringing. I didn't bring stuff I wish I had. What you bring or don't bring isn't important. (Someone once told me, "Just pack it up and send it. You can throw it away in Israel. If deciding what to throw away is postponing your coming, don't worry about. Just pack it and COME already.) My only regret is that I didn't come sooner.
(24) PEGG, July 7, 2006 12:00 AM
i'm sorry
i'm sorry that people make you feel uncomfortable, because of your jewish observances of the holidays. some people may be like me don't understand but they want to so they ask questions. not to make you feel uncomfortable but because they want to know.this would be the reason i would ask. but then again some people are narrow minded and blinded and don't want to understand. i' am a christian i believe that the messiah has alredy came one time to be the ultimate sacrifice for my sins. but i believe that he is coming again. to gather all that are his that have been saved and sanctified.unto one place where he will rule and regin in the new jersulam. but why i'm telling you this i don't know i guess because you are jewish and i am a christian. and i wish that you could go home to israel, i know in my bible the way it has been said that the jewish people will return to there land before christ returns.and the way we believe he could come at anytime. so maybe you will get to go soon. but until then don't let people make you feel uncomfortable about the reasons you do what you do to observe the jewish holidays. but help them understand. but those that do it to cast judgement just pray for them and pay no attention to them.
(23) Davi Katz, May 9, 2006 12:00 AM
TO IRMA
Irma, you should start by going to www.nefeshbnefesh.com. This organization is committed to removing the obstacles for those that want to make aliyah. Alternatively, you can call them at 1-866-4ALIYAH and they will certainly direct you on what you need to do to make this dream a reality.
(22) Irma Mendoza, May 7, 2006 12:00 AM
Tired of daydreaming.
I need straight advice on how to do aliyah. Can you help me by telling me where to begin??
I would need a job. I am a hospital healthcare worker in america. What are my chances of finding work say...at the Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem?? Blessings to anyone who can help me.
(21) Michelle, May 7, 2006 12:00 AM
Israel
My prayers will be with you. I hope you make it safely and happily to Israel real soon!
(20) Ora, May 4, 2006 12:00 AM
to anonymous---Family
I disagree strongly with the anonymous poster who stated that "I feel sorry for children deprived of extended family because of the parents' needs." Moving to Israel is most important for the children, who will grow up in a Jewish environment, with fluent Hebrew and a much better Jewish education than they could get anywhere in the states. My friends whose parents moved here ALL agree with me: they love their lives in Israel, and wouldn't trade it for anything. Certainly they don't see their parents' decision to come here as a selfish one at all. Yes, it's very sad when family don't see the importance of living in Israel and therefore miss the chance to see their grandchildren as frequently. But parents making aliya give their children the irreplacable gift of growing up in the Jewish homeland, and as painful as it might be, the sacrifice is 100% worth it. Besides, it is the 21st century--there are always airplanes, email, and ridiculously cheap overseas calls for keeping in touch.
(19) Sunny Levy, May 4, 2006 12:00 AM
In kind of the same boat...
I want to make Aliyah, I have also been doing some major house cleaning, getting rid of things I would not take. The road block that keeps me here is my soon to be ex-husband... Our dauhter will be 11 next month and I know he would not let me take her till she is older. My daughter wants to make Aliyah,
so we plan and dream till the day we can leave and join every one in our home land.
(18) Sadraoui Faycel, May 3, 2006 12:00 AM
I look for israel
Thank for Alls, My dream of moving to Israel is having a profound affect on how I live now.
(17) Andrea, May 3, 2006 12:00 AM
Dor Le Dor in North America
My ancestors finished immigrating to Canada and the US by 1905. Well, except for my grandmother (now 86) who was born in the States and immigrated to Canada when she married my Grandfather at 25. She never learned to speak Yiddish because her mother wanted 'Americans not Greeners."
All of my Great Uncles on her side fought in ww2 for the Americans. All five of the kids in that family including Bubby graduated from University with a minimum of a Bachelor's degree.
On the Canadian side, we lost my great Uncle Albert to ww2 when the bomber he was flying was shot down over Germany.
In our house, Remembrance Day on November 11 is a big deal. I am grateful that my family's only known casualty in ww2 died a hero. My heart breaks for the losses of the six million and also reminds me how lucky we were to be here during the second world war. There are those who pathetically think that somehow we think we are better because we are grateful to have been spared the anguish on a blood related level, but we are just grateful that the death toll did not include us.
That having been said, there is a part of me that would consider making Aliyah. Still, we moved to Boston for two years, and THAT was a challenge, so it remains a consideration and I do not know that that will ever change, but I do know that i was glad to have returned to Canada before my husband's father suffered for two years with palliative care and terminal cancer. Visits would just not have cut it.
Its a big deal to be here and to have history here. Its a big deal to make aliyah. Hey, its a big deal to be Jewish, and I do yearn for a place where my holidays are the national holidays, but for now, that is not enough to separate me from my parents and siblings and in laws. I guess if maschiach comes we will all go together...
(16) Ber, May 2, 2006 12:00 AM
Great Thoughts
We only have a few ties left here, one being my husband's aging parents. My eldest is married and has a family but has spoken of aliyah also. I was saving to purchase property and your article made me stop and think. Do I really plan to make aliyah? How can I if what I am saving for is more property here! So perhaps in my mind I know I need to aliyah but in my heart I don't have commitment yet? I also need to start cleaning. Shift that mindset and start planning. We need to get there before the rest of our children are grown. They range in age from 15 to 5 so that doesn't leave much room. I don't plan to leave anyone here. See I am already shifting. Thank you for the help.
(15) Anonymous, May 2, 2006 12:00 AM
You won't be able to replace family
One important part of this article is the fact that the author mentions that her children's grandparents and great-grandparents are in America. Israel has many, many positives, but it won't provide a grandparent to come to the school on grandparents day. It won't provide a grandparent to join the holiday dinner table, or each Shabbat. Take it from those of us who don't have grandparents for our children - there is NOTHING that is worth depriving children of that connection - and long distance calls and email won't cut it. I feel sorry for children deprived of extended family because of the parents' needs.
(14) Louis, May 2, 2006 12:00 AM
Our Country
In response to earlier comments, I don't think Ms. Eisenstein is any less grateful or patriotic but there is no getting around that US national holidays such as xmas are not "our" holidays.
(13) Avi P., May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
Amy - Israel NEEDS you!
Dear Amy,
I made Aliyah when I was 13, and I am now 35 and a father of five children, Baruch Hashem.
I found your article very moving, and I would like to add one more point to consider.
Some people try to "sell" Israel as something it is not. Israel is not an easy place to live, things aren't all about Jewish spirituality and goodness, some people are simnply nasty. But the one thing I can say about Israel is that this land is OURS. And Israel - the land, is in desperate need of one thing: Israel - the people. God did not give Am Yisrael His land for nothing; He meant for us to live here as a nation, to thrive, to build, to be a "light unto the nations." So we're not doing so well in that department? The best way to influence things here is simply to live here. Committed, moral Jews are so desperately needed today in Israel - every single person is critical.
I know it is not easy to leave behind everything that ties Jews to their Diaspora homes, but I believe that every Jew who loves God and loves His nation will ultimately find their way back home. Please try to return as soon as you can.
With love,
Avi P.
(12) Miriam, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
You sound like we did 5 years ago
Five years ago we came to Israel the day after our Sheva Brachot. Once we got here, we realized that we were totally not ready for moving to Israel. So we came back to the states for nine months got out act together and then made Aliyah properly. Your article reminds me so much of those nine months in America when our apartment consisted of a bed, table and two folding chairs. We lived like this on purpose so that we would be able to hop on a plane when we were ready to go back. It was the best thing that we did! We had friends our age next door that also wanted to move to Israel, however, her recently deceased GrandMother had left her with a huge lot of beautiful antiques. They didn't have enough money to transport the items to Israel and yet they (understandably) did not want to give it away because it had sentimental value. Needless to say, they are still there .... five years later.
Except for the occasional clothes-shopping at Loehmans and Century21, we didn't buy anything that would 'weigh' us down to getting back here. Now that we have settled down and our apartment, lives, etc are sorted out we have taken the time to shop for furniture, china, etc. all the things that most couples get immediately after getting married. We go back to the states at least once a year to visit family and always bring back a ton of stuff that we can't get here.
Life here is awesome! Don't wait to long to come here. As a family friend said to me recently, "I want to live in Israel, not die there." Life is short. Don't spend the best years of your life in America .... even in a place as wonderful and beautiful as Seattle :)
(11) Andy, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
I suggedt you go ASAP. It seems that in your mind you're already there and not truly living here
Some have clothing in their closets to be worn only when moshiach arrives. Go as soon as you can and visit family and have them visit you as often as possible.
(10) Ita, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
Everyone Start Cleaning!!
Thank You Amy!
Your article is an inspiration to those of us who are in that same i-am-making-aliya-but-not-quite-yet boat. It is so easy to loose that Israel bound focus in the day-to-day of our very comfortable American lives; viewpoints such as yours are always helpful reminders.
May you and your family have a beautiful, blessed life in Israel very soon, together with the rest of the Jewish people.
I am going to start cleaning right now!
(9) Elina, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
I live like that too
My friend Jane told me that her daughter wanted to sign up for a Hebrew class in school, but Jane told her to sign up for Spanish instead. I responded: "Why? Does Mashiach speak Spanish? What if he comes tonight, you will have to up and go, why does she need Spanish?"
The truth is that the way you live is the only way to live. My walls are empty, I hang no paintings. I don't care for furniture or curtains. I want to be ready to jump and go as soon as I can - and that may be a while. My husband is very attached to everything in the US, and the day he changes his mind is the day I will book the tickets. I have no material attachments - I am always ready to go. Just grab my son and my dog, a toothbrush and a change of clothes - I don't need anything else.
Thank you for validating me.
(8) Anonymous, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
Not my country???
Yes, This is my country. Jews have fought, died, struggled to make the USA what it is today. To say it is not our country is plain wrong. Israel is also our country, but that does not mean the US is not.
(7) Lesley Hubbard, May 1, 2006 12:00 AM
Love Israel, but respect the country where you were born!
Dear Amy,
As long as you were born in the US, and reap the benefits of living here, The United States of America is still your country. Moving to Israel is a wonderful thing to do, but it is not for everyone and if you think that all of your problems will be solved by moving there, please think about why you are really leaving the US. Do you honestly love Israel with all of your heart and soul and can you honestly say to one and all that you don't think that the US is "Our Country"? That is total ingratitude. If you eventually move to Israel, I hope you do with total honesty as to why you are doing so.
Best of luck to you and yours.
(6) Cathy Godwin/Seattle, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
Great perspective -- good incentive-- fun read
Thanks Amy, I'm going to look at my piles with new insight -- 10 boxes to the Goodwill next week! We've faced the same arguments of going or not going, while we accumulate junk. B'H, one day sooner than later we'll all be there together.
(5) Anonymous, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
An acquaintance forwarded this article to me, and it really resonated. I hope to live in Israel, too someday. I'm currently in grad school in the US. The passport comment reminded me that when I first entered a secular educational environment after high school, my mother helped me reframe my culture shock by suggesting that I view myself as a foreign student. Although I was living more locally than many of the other students, our values, experiences and priorities were miles, if not worlds, apart.
(4) Annie, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
If you really want it, follow your heart
If you really want to go, go-even if it's for a finite period.
It's odd how Israel calls even to those of us with a tiny amount of Jewish blood flowing through our veins; I can't really call myself Jewish although I have Jewish ancestry, but I still feel drawn to Israel-how much more would a 'real Jew' feel this urge to 'go home' ?
Amy & her husband should go if this is what feels right, even if only for a few years.
I have a folding television tray for a bedside table too, but not for that reason; it's a nice wooden one that is a perfect size & shape!
(3) Carol Rosenthal, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
What a good idea......
I have written into my calendar that next week is total housecleaning. That means clothes closets (all the things I think will come back into style if I hold onto them long enough), books, books, books; records, CDs, VCRs, and anything I think my children will ebay and not keep when I am gone. I guess I can ebay that stuff myself and take a trip to Israel. What a concept! Thank you.
(2) Anonymous, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
Good, but for one comment.
I appreciate everything that the author wrote, except for the statement: "... but, at the end of the day this is not our country." If you were born here, than America is your country, for better or worse. As Jews, we strive to live permanently in Israel. Regardless of this, America, warts and all, is your country if you were born here, and this idea should still be respected.
(1) Dawn Jones, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
Amy should make aliyah while her children are young.
Amy's article is wonderful and many of us American Jews identify with it! I want to encourage her to make aliyah while the children are young. SOMEONE has to do it! If she does, her children will grow up Israeli. Someone in the family has to be the inspiration. Yes, some will stay behind, but many will follow! Our best response to terrorism is aliyah.