My wife and I moved to Ashdod in southern Israel four years ago. We rented a small dingy apartment for three years, and last January, thank God we found the apartment of our dreams for our ever–growing family.
While living in Ashdod, missiles were falling in Sderot but I was busy. My family was getting larger and my life-coaching practice was expanding faster than I could keep up. All day I was involved in teaching and helping people.
I read the newspapers about Sderot, told myself that the government should really do something about this and how terrible this is, and felt bad for a brief second. But you know how it is. I was busy, and Sderot was somebody else's job.
That all changed this past Shabbos afternoon.
I was taking a nap and heard the sirens. That's a loud siren, I thought. Maybe a car accident. But the siren kept going.
Then we heard the boom in the distance. "Did you hear that?" I asked my wife. "Yes."
The siren wasn't an ambulance; it was a warning to take cover for an incoming rocket. We instantly entered a new world -- the world of missiles falling on your city and your neighborhood.
On Sunday, I was teaching on an international phone conference call and cracked a joke that if the phone goes dead, please call the police. Twenty minutes later the phone went dead. My students ran to CNN to see what happened. Just one of those things -- the phone went dead for no apparent reason. Ten minutes later the call resumed, and the joke was no longer funny.
Monday night I taught my first class in the middle of a missile alert. After all, life must go on. I heard a boom in the distance and I prayed that everyone is okay. After the class I found out the missile struck a woman hiding in a bus shelter a few blocks away from home and killed her.
This is getting close. But life must go on. Some people start leaving town.
On Tuesday school was cancelled and all the kids were home. I went to my office to work and at 6:30 pm I heard a siren and then a very loud boom. I looked out of my office window and saw a pillar of smoke rising up right next to the area of my home. For a moment I almost fainted.
We need to care about all of our brethren in all places of suffering and sorrow.
The missile exploded just 100 meters from my home. It fell into an enclosure and thank God no one was hurt. If the missile had exploded just a little bit to the left or the right there would have been serious causalities. I can't even think about it.
Now I care about the Jews of Sderot. Now I understand. Where have I been for the past few years regarding my brothers and sisters who've been living under the constant threat of missile attacks? Now that it is my family and children, I suddenly wake up. It should not have taken me so long.
My family is strong in spirit. We are united and we are resolute. This is our country and we have always known that being here is not always a picnic. My wife and I both come from families that were decimated by the Holocaust. We are grateful just to have a home and to have the honor of raising a family in the land of Israel.
Many people we know are leaving town temporarily until things calm down. We are directly in the missiles range, but we are staying put. In fact, out of 20 families in our building, we are the only ones remaining. It is not our way to leave at times like this. To me, leaving our home would be a victory for Hamas.
But life is different. I don't look at my children the same any more. Any second a missile might fall on me and wife and my children and my neighborhood.
Don't learn the lesson of caring and empathy the way I did. We need to care about all of our brethren in all places of suffering and sorrow, whether it's Sderot, Be'er Sheva, Kiryat Shemona, Yemen, Mumbai, Argentina or New York. This helps unite us as a people.
(24) Roy Adams, January 19, 2009 12:26 PM
Vietnam vet who understands missles and what they can do
I am a vietnam War veteran (1968) and I underwent many rocket (we did not call them missles back then) attacks. I have seen the destruction and death they inflict in such an uncaring way. I am also Jewish. I salute Israel for going after the ones who fire the rockets while trying not to harm anyone else. I also think it is time for the US to get out of the UN and the UN out of the US. I fully support Israel.
(23) chana sharfstein, January 8, 2009 3:05 AM
I live in Brooklyn and I feel the fright of the missiles
Sitting here in my home in brooklyn, your personal story of the encounter with missiles directly touches us because we are JEWS and ISRAEL is OUR LAND. We watch the news with baited breath, we worry, we are there with you. Your distress is our distress. The bravery of our young men in Gaza, I feel teary eyed just thinking of them They are risking their lives for the existence of OUR STATE> May Hashem watch over them constantly. Every soldier is OUR soldier. May this be the opening to a SAFE and STRONG ISRAEL. We need the world to support our stand. We need PEACE. Keep up your courage and feel our support, our prayers for you.
(22) Cindy Eckert, January 5, 2009 9:15 PM
pray for the peace of Jerusalem....
The world needs to understand and see that G-d will bless those who bless Israel. We must stand with them even more so now than ever. This is our country (Israel)..Israel has every right to defend THEIR land...I pray that G-d will reveal Himself to His people and protect them. May we see the day of Moshiach soon.
(21) Liam, January 5, 2009 2:36 PM
What delayed your revelation of Hama's intent and your resolve?
I too pray for Hashem's protection of Yisrael but more importantly a resolute unified response, only the beginning of which we're now seeing. What prompted the former passivity and expectation for peaceful outcome in a conflict with those so avowed to Yisrael's total destruction. American news speaks way more of Yisraeli reaction and so little of 3000 rockets launched on Sderot by Hamas. Caring and empathy are indeed a great lesson only when coupled with zeal for the innocent and chosen ones - in this moment that excludes Hamas.
(20) Shlomo ben Noach, January 4, 2009 10:31 PM
May Hashem bless Israel forever and ever.
G-d bless Israel. G-d bless the Jewish people. May Israel be protected from those that would do her and her people harm. G-d is with Israel and her people. He is protecting them and will forever love and protect them. Jews are the chosen people of G-d and they will always be the apple of G-d's eye. I pray that peace comes soon to Jerusalem and all of Israel.
(19) Ruth Frischling, January 4, 2009 4:28 PM
May hashem protect you and all Israelis
Hi R. Nivin, It was such a pleasure to learn with you a couple of years ago via teleconference. I wish all of you safety, health and peace.
(18) Meredith, January 4, 2009 4:13 PM
time to act
We are glad to learn that the government of Israel is acting forcefully to put an end to the reign/rain of terror all Israelis have been enduring for so long.
(17) ahmed omran, January 4, 2009 2:56 PM
Land of Sderot
To number (11) Joe D, thank you for your answer, and i need your help to answer this question: Whose the land of the United States, i mean is it belongs to the red Indian or the American settlers?!!! be honest in your answer.
(16) Deena Levenstein, January 4, 2009 12:44 PM
I hate my apathy
It always upsets me how much I don't really, truly care until it gets close. How can we let our fellow Jews live how they've been living the last few years in Sderot? How can we let other fellow Jews and other fellow humans live how they do around the world? But what do we do about it?
(15) Rob Smith, January 4, 2009 11:59 AM
Expression of Concern
I am an American Jew in Chicago. I am also a Clinical Social Worker. I am concerned about the safety of Jews near Gaza. It is too bad that Israel waited to stop the terrorism and didn't take Gaza back sooner. I hope that everyone will be safe there and that Israel will take over the whole area and rid of the terrorists.
(14) Jeffrey Calvert, January 4, 2009 11:44 AM
I love Israel
I hate it when the world (mainly the US) try's to tell Israel how to fight the same war that we are supposed to be fighting. My prayers are with all Israelis and hope your victory is soon.
(13) anonymous, January 4, 2009 11:37 AM
Please Rav Nivin, temporarily leave. When things calm down-please Hashem, then come back. Even though you are a rav it does in many ways sound too dangerous. It does not sound like giving up on your city or klal Yisrael, its just temporary. I daven as well as "hitpallel" -take self accounting/judgment during these times and try to correct my middos as I know especially that Klal Yisrael suffers if my behvior falters. I pray that Israel is allowed to complete their tasks ahead and not to be stopped half way.
(12) Joe D, January 4, 2009 9:35 AM
Land of Shderot
Ahmed Omran Hamudi, The land of Shderot is Iarael's Land ! Thanks for asking.
(11) Brad, January 4, 2009 9:12 AM
logical?
You will gain nothing by staying and risking getting blown up. As a smart educated person with a family, you owe to yourself and your family to get to a safer place! Leaving temporarily is not giving in to Hamas, it is having a logical response to a life threatening situation. Why be a martyr? Too many Jews have died thinking "other people are fleeing this situation, but I'll stay". For your family's sake, and especially if you have young children who don't have free will in this situation because they have to do what you, as a parent, want, you must seek a safer place within Israel until the current situation settles down.
(10) Rabbi Aryeh Nivin, January 4, 2009 4:13 AM
Author''s Point of Clarification
The issue of staying *or* leaving is not a simple one in Jewish law. We consulted our Rabbi about this in great depth and he gave his okay. Many of Ashdod''s greatest Rabbis have stayed behind and many have left. The decsion to say is an issue that is based upon numerous factors including the welfare of the children. Every family is different. My children are showing no signs of any trauma in a way.
thanks for your concern.
Aryeh Nivin
(9) shoshana, January 3, 2009 9:50 PM
emunah
I am amazed at the amount of amunah and faith you have living through so much terror. Every Jew really needs to stand up and support his/her brothers and sisters. I wish the whole world can read your article and understand the crisis Israel is facing with Gaza. I hope and pray that you, your family and all of Israel is protected at this scary time.
(8) ahmed omran, January 3, 2009 1:54 PM
Whose the land of SDEROT Israelis,Can you answer?!!! And by the way i dont mind if you expose my email.
(7) RACHEL, January 2, 2009 11:27 AM
PIKUACH NEFESH
You are obligated to leave and do your hishtadlus rather than risk your life and the life of your family. Ask a Rov. Mumbai was not under constant attack. You are in a different scenario. Please wake up!
(6) ross, January 2, 2009 9:31 AM
It only makes us daven harder for you
Please don't be offended, but some of us daven for your well-being, which includes hoping that you will put your family first and leave. We all care about you more than you know. "Strong, united, and resolute" doesn't lessen any inner tramau which your family may be experienceing. Look, you know them more than we strangers do, but you better really know how much it is or is not affecting each family mamber individually before you decide to stay in harm's way. Please keep us all informed.
(5) Tzipora Harris, January 1, 2009 9:41 PM
The time to love every jew is now!
I just learned that Iran signed up 6000 volunteers to come to Gaza and be suicide bombers. They are giving EVERYTHING for what they believe in. they are giving EVERYTHING to destroy the Jewish People. We have to wake up and give EVERYTHING to care for our people. For every single Jew. If we don't care, no one else will.
(4) Shimmy, January 1, 2009 12:01 PM
dont be a marter. Your life comes first
Do whats best for your family. If they will be living with terror every min. its no mitzva to stay put.Hatzlacha, Shimmy
(3) Ammi Elzion, Gothenburg, Sweden, January 1, 2009 8:33 AM
It was easy to emagine what is going on in Israel, after experiencing the "new year" festivities... There were constant noise of fireworkbombings and -rocketings until early morning... The only difference was that here their aim wasn''t to cause death and distruction, just to celebrate peacefully.
(2) mike, January 1, 2009 8:12 AM
empathy without experience??
it is all too human to have an evolution of feelings the way r'nivin did. concern for another when you cannot really relate and then a true understanding when you can. unfortunately or not most people cannot really understand another's problems without first experiencing it themselves.
(1) Sarah, January 1, 2009 7:52 AM
So true!!!
I can really understand this. Lately, and especially today, when a few rockets fell in my son's kibbutz,I couldn't help but saying to myself "where were you when this was happening in Sderot? Why didn't you say then at least half of the Tehilim (psalms) that you're saying now on behalf of your family and friends in neighboring areas? Wake up and learn about "ahavat Israel!"