Growing up in New Jersey, war was something we read about in history books. Since moving to Israel 29 years ago, I’ve lived through five wars.
The first was the Gulf War of 1991. Saddam Hussein’s threats to incinerate all of Israel had us making “sealed rooms” of plastic and tape. When the siren went off, we ran to our sealed rooms and donned our gas masks. My three-year-old daughter refused to wear her mask. Panicked, I forced the mask onto her. The next morning the news reported that, while there were no casualties from the Scuds, a four-year-old Israeli Arab girl had suffocated to death when her parents forced her gas mask onto her. I listened to the radio trembling. Thirty-nine Scud missiles landed in Israel, decimating buildings but killing only one man. Instead of poison gas, the air of Israel was thick with miracles.
Instead of poison gas, the air of Israel was thick with miracles.
Not so the Terror War of 2000-2004. The front lines of that war were on our busses, in our malls, at our Bar Mitzvahs and Seders, and in our downtown areas. Over 1,000 Israelis were murdered in that war, mostly by suicide bombers. For four years we lived in fear and prayer. We tired of attending the funerals of children. Our Books of Psalms were drenched in our tears.
The Second Lebanon War, in the summer of 2006, started as an effort to retrieve two reserve soldiers abducted by Hezbollah terrorists at the Lebanese border. Hezbollah fired a barrage of missiles on northern Israel. Forty-four civilians were killed in the bombing, and most of the residents of the North fled southward. When all the hotels of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem could not hold the refugees, community centers with army cots and thousands of private homes opened their doors. Taking a walk one night, my husband and I passed a young couple pushing a baby in a stroller. They had fled from their home near Haifa and had stayed for three nights in a Jerusalem hotel. Now, however, the hotel had evicted them because someone else had reservations. We invited them into our home, and they lived with us until the war was over. Tragically, 121 of our young soldiers were killed. And when the two abducted reservists were finally returned, in exchange for arch terrorist Samir Kuntar and four other Hezbollah prisoners, we got back only their corpses.
While Israel’s North was struggling to recover and rebuild, the South came under repeated rocket attacks from Hamas that Gazans had democratically elected as their government. Hamas launched over a thousand missiles on civilian targets in Israel. Life in Israel’s South became a continuous nightmare of Code Red sirens, sending children and adults desperately scurrying for shelter. So, in December 2008, Israel mobilized Operation Cast Lead, sending in ground troops to stop Hamas. Our role in that war was to pray, and to send food packages and warm socks to our soldiers at the front.
After a short period of quiet, rocket attacks from Gaza, now augmented by longer-range Russian Grad missiles that terrorized major cities such as Beer Sheva and Ashdod, gradually increased again. So in November 2012, Israel launched Operation Pillar of Cloud. The international community, silent as Israel was bombarded by Hamas, loudly condemned Israel’s military campaign to stop the rockets. Fighting Hamas on one front and international opprobrium on the other, Israel was hit by 1456 rockets and missiles, which killed six Israelis, injured 240, and sent another 200 into shock. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder became an epidemic in southern Israel.
At War Again
And now we are at war again. The government has approved to call up some 40,000 reservists – mostly husbands and fathers. So far 8,000 have been called up. Our soldiers – those who can be spared from quelling the Arab riots throughout Israel – are amassed at the border of Gaza. Over the last eight days, close to one million Israelis have sought refuge in bomb shelters. Some 225 Hamas missiles have been fired at Israel in the last 36 hours, some reaching Tel Aviv and almost to Haifa.
On Tuesday night I was giving my weekly Marriage Webinar from my Jerusalem home to women all over the world – in France, England, Ireland, Australia, Canada, Mexico, Chile, Israel, and throughout the United States. In the middle of the webinar, a comment appeared in the Question Box from a woman in Ashdod: “We had a Code Red siren so we had to go down to the bomb shelter. Now I have to put my children back to bed. I’ll have to listen to the webinar recording tomorrow.”
I resumed giving my class, but a few minutes later I heard the wail of a siren pierce the air.
I was taken aback by this live message from the war zone. I recounted to my listeners that the night before, my daughter was at an outdoor wedding near Beit Shemesh, a 40-minute drive from Jerusalem, when the Code Red siren went off. The dancing stopped, and the bride, groom, and wedding guests, having no building to take refuge in, ran to a decorative wall. Looking up, they saw the missile from Gaza as a beam of light streaming across the sky. Suddenly it was hit by the Iron Dome (Israel’s anti-missile defense system), creating a loud explosion and a brilliant glow in the sky. Happy wedding!
At that point in the webinar, I told the participants that we were going to stop and pray. Israel is at war. We should pray for the residents of the South and the safety of our soldiers. After a minute, I resumed giving my class, but a few minutes later I heard the wail of a siren pierce the air. I was puzzled. We had not heard air raid sirens in Jerusalem since the Gulf War had sent us dashing to our sealed rooms. “I’m hearing a siren,” I told my listeners across the world.
Our building has no bomb shelter. We are supposed to use the bomb shelter across the street, but it can barely hold the residents of that building. So I simply sat here, feeling shaken, and asked my listeners to pray, this time not just for the residents of the South, but also for the Jews of Jerusalem. It turned out that Tel Aviv, Rehovot, and every major town in the crowded center of the country was also under attack.
Then comments started to pour into the Question Box:
- Siren in Beit Shemesh now!
- My friend is currently in Jerusalem and told us that a rocket just landed in his neighborhood.
- Don't continue the workshop if it's not safe for you! [from Texas]
- My son and grandchildren are in Tel Aviv [from New Mexico]
- Please know that every Jew in Ireland & I'm sure worldwide are praying for you in Israel! [from Dublin]
What Doesn’t Help
We are at war again. Here’s what doesn’t help:
- Worrying and hand-wringing
- Blaming – anyone on the other end of the political or religious spectrum.
- Obsessing on the news. (Phoning an elderly relative will help Israel more than your checking the news for the 8th time today.)
- Wasting energy on hating our enemies.
- Cancelling your upcoming trip to Israel. (Such cancellations make us feel abandoned.)
Here’s what will help:
- Pray for the safety of our soldiers, for the protection of every Jew in Israel, and for the wisdom of our political and military leaders.
- Sign up for the Shmira Project, an ongoing, grassroots program that pairs IDF combat soldiers with Jews around the world, who do acts of kindness, prayer or Torah learning to increase the soldier’s spiritual merit and protection.
- Support Israel by disseminating the truth in Letters to the Editor, letters to your government, blogs, Facebook, and internet comments: That Hamas in Gaza, which is committed to Israel’s destruction, has launched hundreds of rockets and missiles at civilian targets in Israel, and Israel must defend its citizens.
- Support the I.D.F. by sending goodies, care packages, and letters of support. http://www.thankisraelisoldiers.org/
- Undertake mitzvot, good deeds, donations to charity, and Torah learning in the merit of the people of Israel. Judaism teaches that every mitzvah generates merit, and just as you can send your money to wherever you choose, you can send your merit to wherever you choose.
And one last thing: Go against your basic human drive to avoid pain, and allow yourself to feel the pain of your brothers and sisters in Israel. Feel the pain of mothers and fathers whose precious sons have been sent to the front lines, of wives whose husbands have been called to active duty. Feel the pain of children throughout southern Israel who live in daily trauma: ten-year-olds who have reverted to bedwetting, teenaged girls whose periods have stopped, four-year-olds who cannot sleep for fear of the next siren.
Feel their pain, and allow it to move you to the constructive actions outlined above. Now is not the time for numbness.
Watch the short video below to feel what it is like to have 15 seconds to reach a bomb shelter.
(30) Anonymous, July 18, 2014 1:54 AM
coping
My son is learning in tzfat. My mother and sister and nephews and niece live in remat bet shemesh where they made aliyah to about 8yrs ago from America. I'm doing everything you said we should do but I'm also doing all the things on the don't list. I'm of course also worried and disturbed about the war the safety of the IDF and all Israelis. How do I refrain from doing everything on the don't list. Everything makes sense logically but mentally how do you refrain? I can't find peace. And its not just me. Every waking minute is spent glued to various sources for the latest news and so are my friends. Thank you
(29) leahkatz, July 13, 2014 2:10 PM
dear aish,hashem is trying to teach us a lesson,whatever hashem does is for the best always,we can daven to hashem,thank you,leahkatz
(28) leahkatz, July 13, 2014 2:05 PM
dear aish,hashem is trying to teach us a lesson,whatever hashem does is for the best always,thank you,leahkatz
(27) Shaindy, July 11, 2014 4:42 PM
Heartbreak
It is no coincidence that the map boundary shape of Israel is similar in shape to the human heart. Israel is the heartbeat to the world and is located in every jewish heart as well. All Jewish hearts across the entire universe feel directly connected to the pain and joys of the Jewish hearts of our brethren in Israel every moment of our beating hearts life... May all our tears and prayers bring the redemption speedily in our days, Amein
(26) MIriam, July 11, 2014 11:44 AM
Thank you for this excellent article
and useful and constructive list. I will try to implement. Very helpful! Thank you.
(25) Alex Yeboah, July 11, 2014 11:19 AM
I'm praying for the IDF and I know the God who has always delivered Isreal from such crisis will do it again. Unfortunately, truth seems to have gone down the drain. God save Isreal and the Jews any where. Hamas will fail again.
(24) Naomi Geffen, July 11, 2014 7:18 AM
Saying it just right
Thank you Sara Yocheved for saying exactly what needs to be said in exactly the right words.
(23) Anonymous, July 11, 2014 1:03 AM
It is about time that the world reported the truth about hamas and their destructive and evil activities not only to the israelie people but to their own people. They are the ones who attack the innocent. I pray that israel and her soldiers succeed in exposing hamas for the deadly regime that they are for all innocent persons concerned. G-d be with you israel.
(22) Amber Mailer, July 10, 2014 11:04 PM
From another Christian who loves Israel and the Jewish people
We are praying for the PEACE OF JERUSALEM and for all Israel. May the hearts of your enemies be changed and stop firing the rockets. I have a daughter in Jerusalem and her family for whose safety I am concerned.
(21) Anonymous, July 10, 2014 11:01 PM
the needs to wake up
It's in every nation's interest to work honestly to build and sustain peaceful human environment. And there is an important historical fact that we seem to deliberately ignore. Ever since the coming of modern day Israel,the only jewish nation in the world has in all clashes with her neighbors acted in self defense. States owe the world a duty to reign in people whose only aim appears to be attacking and killing jews.
(20) Albertine, July 10, 2014 10:42 PM
Israel we are with you in Prayer
Papua New Guinea in the South Pacific Region, stands with the National of Israel, and our Prayers and thoughts are with you. May our Heavenly Father, spread out His Mighty hand and cover you, from the evil attach of the enemy. In His Name we trust and believe. Amen
(19) Anonymous, July 10, 2014 10:36 PM
the world must see the aggressor
It's no news or act of war when a missile is fired into Israel killing both soldiers and civilians but each time some military action is taken to prevent Hamas or similar group from killing innocent people then the world suddenly has a conscience. Every compromise made by Israel increases her vulnerability to ceaseless attacks. The world must use all means to make Hamas give peace a chance.
(18) Stefan Söderlund, July 10, 2014 9:57 PM
I pray for the peace in Israel and that God will bless Hes people!
(17) Yoshiyahu, July 10, 2014 9:09 PM
Thank you
Thank you for the encouraging, insightful, article. Being Jewish, growing up and currently living in New Jersey I am glad someone is able to explain what life under war in Israel is like and offer ways for people like me to help.
(16) Rob Porter, July 10, 2014 8:55 PM
Pointless comment
Well, Anonymous, why would the writer when writing from Israel that has come under attack rather than initiating the attack, feel the need to reflect on the circumstances of the enemy's people? Right now to the writer his people's children are more important that those of the Palestinian enemy that is trying to destroy Israel. Furthermore, only a feckless, dyed in the wool Liberal would produce such imbecilic thinking at a time like this. You must surely be in the USA where feckless thinking has rendered that country incapable of fighting its way our of a wet paper bag.
(15) Heather, July 10, 2014 8:51 PM
Praying for Israel
I'm praying every day for Israel...May Hashem Bless & Protect Israel
(14) leahkatz, July 10, 2014 7:10 PM
dear aish,we must daven to hashem for our brothers@sisters,all of bnei yisroel,hashem is giving us a message.thank you,leahkatz
(13) Louis Mann, July 10, 2014 6:41 PM
Supporting Israel in prayer .
Psalm 122:6 (ESV)
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!
“May they be secure who love you!
(12) Rivkah, July 10, 2014 4:53 PM
Thank you so much for this article. It's hard to imagine being in a war when we have peace here in the US
(11) Pastor Dave Allen, July 10, 2014 4:50 PM
We're praying
Please know that evangelical Christians throughout the U.S. are praying for you. We're with you!
(10) Connie Thomas, July 10, 2014 4:16 PM
From a Christian who loves Israel and the Jewish people
We hope and pray for the IDF as they fight the good fight. Keep going until the job is done. Sha'alu shalom Yerushalayim! We send our love.
(9) Anonymous, July 10, 2014 4:04 PM
Prayers for All....
Yes, I allow myself to feel the pain (I know several people who've been killed by suicide bombers....) of those killed in Israel. But nowhere did I read in you piece about feeling the pain of children and innocent people in Gaza who are also maimed and killed while Israel is defending itself. Sorry, but Israeli children are not more important in H'Shem's eyes than Palestinian children.
gina, July 10, 2014 9:07 PM
of course all children are important.
yes, of course I feel the pain of the Palestinian mothers and fathers who are so caught up in this.
As the article stated: don't waste your time hating enemies.
We are all more interconnected than any of us realize. In a perfect world, I'm sure that all parents would be thinking only of the job, the house, the next birthday celebration. That's all we all want. Then along come people who under the name of a god convince and basically hypnotize people to celebrate martyrdom, killing, and all for the glory of going to heaven for 72 virgins.
The children do not deserve this. We sometimes forget, and they have forgotten that both tribes are half brothers. One, the sons of Abraham and Sarah, the other the sons of Abraham and Hagar
May Hashem soften hearts quickly for a lasting peace.
Hector, July 10, 2014 9:11 PM
To Anonymous
"Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us." - Golda Meir
Ayelet, July 11, 2014 12:22 AM
Interesting
These people congregate on the rooftops of buildings where top Hamas officials are hiding. They have voted for Hamas to lead them. Please educate yourself.
Anonymous, July 11, 2014 1:38 AM
Comment
You hit the nail on the head. Unlike Palestine , Israel Is Defending itself not turning it's children into suicide bombers. I'm sorry when any one who is innocent dies but not would be suicide attackers. As Gilda Meir (I believe) once said, these attacks will stop only when the Palestinians love their children more than they hate Israel.
David, July 11, 2014 7:37 PM
"Palestine"
Resist the temptation to perpetuate that bit of anti-Israel propaganda. Until a few short decades ago, the term "Palestinian" was an epithet Arabs applied to Jews.
There are no nationally Palestinian Arabs, since there was never a nation of Palestinians nor a state of Palestine. It is a national history narrative conjured out of thin air by Arabs to substitute colonialist Arabian settlers for the indigenous Jews as rightful heirs to the Promised Land. In language, religion, and ancestral origin the Arabs of Gaza, Judah and Samaria are indistinguishable from their expansionist nationally Arab brethren across the rest of the Middle East. Their nationality is Arab, and the disputed territory is Israel.
If your language doesn't reflect the truth, then it advances the agenda of those opposed to it. Please be careful.
(8) Jeffrey Dorfman, July 10, 2014 3:23 PM
Protection for Israel
I pray for Israel and I pray the United States gives Israel all the support (with any means) that Israel wants and needs. I believe we need to take a proactive part in, but not limited to, getting the United Nations to send in peace keepers to the Gaza Strip to prevent rockets from being fired into Israel.
(7) Joseph R. Fenwick Sr., July 10, 2014 3:18 PM
Praying daily, may God protect and keep you safe and healthy!
I pray daily for the peace and protection of Jerusalem and Gods people around the world.
(6) Cathy, July 10, 2014 3:12 PM
Very informative article.
I can't even imagine what the people of Israel are going thru! Many of us in the U.S. are praying...
(5) Ayalah Haas, July 10, 2014 6:27 AM
Excellent Advice
THANK YOU so much, Mrs. Rigler. Worthwhile "to do" AND "not to do" lists! The Alm-ghty Himself is your Bomb Shelter. Am Yisrael Chai.
(4) roxanne, July 10, 2014 2:49 AM
thank you
Thank you Sara - May the Almighty watch over Kol Yisrael and have loving kindness and mercy for Am Yisrael. We stand united together. May the Almighty watch over Tshal.
(3) Yehudith Shraga, July 9, 2014 10:10 PM
Feel the pain of children...who live in daily trauma
Children's worldview is formed under the serious influence of their parents and so we have to make an intense inner work to help them to cope with the difficulties.There's no doubt we should obey the orders of IDF, but there's much more we can do for our protection from the panic reaction.The sound of the siren isn't pleasant at all, and it may put a person in a state, which isn't good enough for the optimal reaction,so we have to look in advance for every detail: the keys should be always in the door, the must items at hand, some lights on during the night hours, some water and chairs ready for those in need, if we go out of the house we should think in advance where we may hide while being outside.Most important is to talk with the children about the situation in the constructive manner: children should know that the State does everything to protect us, that we are here in the Land of Israel for the very special mission and that sometimes extra Faith in the Ways of G-d is needed and no matter how difficult the situation may be,it still serves good, because it's the time we come closer to our inner part called Soul, and make a lot of spiritual discoveries: we learn to differ True from false, we learn to value the benefits we are given, and first of all the benefit of coming back to our Land of Israel, where we have all we need for our protection, the possibility to openly study Torah and perform Mitzvot and to learn to live in the most possible correspondence to the Spiritual Wisdom the Creator engraved in His Creation.
Do not think the children may not understand the complicated notions,if Arizal stated that a 9 year old may understand the concepts of Kabbalah, it means that our children have endless potential including their ability to cope with the difficult situations. THE BETTER THEY KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE IN ISRAEL, THE MORE CONFIDENT THEY ARE GOING TO BE.
May G-d bless the People of Israel and all the Creation with His Divine Wisdom.
(2) Sharona, July 9, 2014 9:43 PM
The more we feel for each other, the more we come together and pray for each other, and comfort each other. We are not alone when we have each other and G-d. Things are very difficult now, but the Dawn will come, keep looking forward.
(1) Anonymous, July 9, 2014 4:03 PM
Wow
Thank you so much. this article was just what I needed to remind me of what we as Diaspora Jews need to do. Hashem yishmor