When Guy and I got engaged, coronavirus was the furthest thing from my mind. An epidemic in China – unfortunate, of course, but not something that could affect me personally.
Two and a half months later, I realized how wrong I was when my mother got a phone call from my grandmother saying her flight to Israel for the wedding was cancelled. One call followed another, and in less than an hour I understood that no one outside my immediate family would be able to make it to my wedding.
I didn’t know which phone calls were harder – the ones of family members crying and me comforting them, or the ones of them comforting me. The most strengthening phone call was with my grandmother in Florida who is a Holocaust survivor: “Everything’s for the best, it’s no use crying,” she told me cheerily. “You get someone to FaceTime me and I will get dressed and be at your wedding!”
A few days later, the Israeli government passed a new law limiting the number of invitees to any event down to 100, including personnel. That left us with around 40-45 people on each side.
In no time, we had a list of only the closest people to us and started mass WhatsApp and phone calls informing people that, unfortunately, they would not be able to be attend our wedding.
Somehow, we managed to get the small event under control. Everything seemed smooth sailing the week before the wedding, and we were finally starting to breathe normally when we discovered that new laws would be passed after Shabbat – two days before my wedding.
At 9 PM the whole family anxiously gathered round the TV to listen to Bibi speak. He spoke a lot about hygiene, hand washing, and then he dropped the bomb: no more than ten can attend weddings.
I was in shock. We all were. Two days before the wedding, everything’s derailed.
But my parents immediately jumped to action. “Don’t worry!” my mother comforted me with a wide smile. “You know where you’re going to get married?”
“Right here in this house!” my father said.
I stared at them both. “But…I wanted to get married in Jerusalem” was the only thing I managed to let out.
“There’s nothing to do about that,” my father told me gently. “It can’t be in Jerusalem, but it will be here and it will be stunning.”
“We’ll help!” my younger brothers chimed in. “We’ll make you two the most awesomest wedding ever!”
Sunday morning everyone was on their feet – building a DIY chuppah in our backyard using a Sukkah skeleton and curtains, cooking, setting up tables, and decorating the house. We would be having a grand total of 20 guests – no more than 10 in each ambiance, in accordance with the law. My family worked wonders with candles and flowers and before I knew it, the house looked more beautiful than any wedding hall I’d seen.
Monday morning, we started getting ready as if it was any regular wedding. Hair, make-up, everything was running. As I got ready, I could hear my father in the backyard, following orders from his friend’s wife who has a flower shop. Standing on tip-toes, he painstakingly threaded flowers and plants into the chuppah frame as she directed him: “A bit higher…lower…longer…there! Don’t move, now tie it, tie it! Perfect!”
My mother was finishing to set everything up with help from my brothers – the makeshift catering team – and my friend Shani, who was a real bridesmaid in a surreal wedding.
At around four in the afternoon, there was a knock at the door. I was finishing with my make-up, taking turns with my mother who was continuously checking on the food in the oven. One of the kids will get it, I thought absently.
I was surprised to hear a voice that sounds like one of my friends. A handful of my friends burst into the house with balloons, calling out “Mazal Tov!”
I jumped out of my seat with a scream and ran to hug them. They decided to come before the wedding to be with me. Some of them were dressed in party clothes, some not, and to me they looked like the most beautiful group of people in the world.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry, you’ll ruin your make-up!” they laughed, but it was too much to ask. I couldn’t believe they were all there, on this crazy wedding day.
The photographer came soon after, snapped a few pictures of my friends and me, and then got the whole family into wedding-picture mode – in our backyard, which had been transformed into a beautiful wedding venue. As we took the pictures, I noticed the make-up artist taking food out of the oven.
“Mom,” I whispered to her, “please pay the make-up girl so she can go home.”
My mom smiled. “I paid her three hours ago,” she said, “and she refuses to leave. She said this is the most amazing wedding she’s been a part of and is so touched by the atmosphere and the friends and neighbors helping out, she wants to help out and be a part of it!”
So my make-up artist became my caterer!
Soon enough, everyone arrived, and as we’d planned, the siblings watched the chuppah from inside, in accordance with the law.
It was the most beautiful chuppah in the world – small, intimate, only the closest family, the people who loved us the most. As the Rabbi spoke, I looked around, at the chuppah my father and our friends built, at the garden my brothers decorated, at the tables my mother set, at the food she made, and my eyes filled with tears.
There had been so many tears that day; of joy when my friends came, of sadness when I spoke to my family from abroad on FaceTime. But the tears I shed under the chuppah were the most powerful of all. They were tears of gratitude, of love, of awe.
My wedding was nothing like anyone imagined. But it was special, beautiful and unique. Coronavirus didn’t ruin my wedding – it gave me and my husband a historic, once-in-a-lifetime event that we are truly grateful for.
(25) Miriam and Hilton Block, April 29, 2020 7:37 PM
Sarah and Guy are special people that could turn this situation into pure happiness and see it through eyes of emunah. We wish you to build a strong Jewish home with lots of love and simcha.
(24) Michal Doitch, April 28, 2020 1:07 PM
Love u Sarah!!!
היה לי את הזכות להיות איתך ביום הגדול והשמח בחייך חוויה שלא אשכח לעולם. זכית במשפחה מיוחדת! מאחלת לכם חיים מאושרים ושמחים !!! Love u
(23) zlate1, April 26, 2020 6:26 PM
When life hands you lemons...
What a great attitude. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade. An awesome chaseneh. . MazalTov to you and your husband and families. May the house you build togethter be as beautiful.
(22) Anonymous, April 26, 2020 6:39 AM
A huge mazzal tov
What a positive recount of your wedding and what a warm and special family you were born in! Wishing you a beautiful life together and that you'll merit to celebrate many s'machot with all your family and friends in good health and happiness. תזכו להקים בית נאמן בישראל בבריאות טובה ובלב שמח
Mazzal tov!
(21) Avie Shapiro, April 26, 2020 3:00 AM
Mazel Tov!
What a beautiful article describing in real time a family's determination to put into practice the old adage - when life gives you lemons... make your wedding day as beautiful and memorable as your creativity allows. Mazel Tov!! May you enjoy a long happy and healthy life together, and may we all greet Moshiach very soon!
(20) Andrew (Dovid) Brown, April 24, 2020 6:33 PM
What's really important
First of all, MAZAL TOV!! This sounds like it was a beautiful, meaningful affair. I'm glad for you. My only wish for you is that you come to know what's really important; the Marriage, not the Wedding. You have a lifetime, AND A LIFE, to look forward to. My warmest blessings that every day, ad mea v'esrim, will be as beautiful and happy as this day was
(19) Deborah Litwack, April 24, 2020 11:45 AM
Mazal tov
Have a blessed successful marriage. You did the wedding right!!!! Safe and meaningful.
(18) Rhoda Weinreb, April 24, 2020 2:29 AM
What a beautiful warm wedding! What a wonderful attitude! May you both be happy together till 120!
(17) Reuven Frank, April 23, 2020 7:35 PM
Sometimes...
There are lots of things we pray for or think will happen in a certain way.
Someone once called this:
"The answer to my prayers. Not what I prayed for, exactly
but, apparently G-d's answer."
Clearly this was not the wedding you wanted or may have prayed for.
On the other hand, it was beautiful and memorable and historic and
probably MORE memorable in its own way.
Sometimes G-d's answer is unique and NOT was we expected at all.
(16) Judy Gruen, April 23, 2020 5:38 PM
so inspiring!
This is such a beautiful account of a beautiful wedding. I know of others like it: just immediate family in attendance, friends watching from afar. The love your family and friends showered on you is the gift you take forward into your married life. While all my children enjoyed "typical" weddings with 200 people or more, I do hope that what we are learning now will help us navigate toward smaller, less expensive, less stressful weddings in the future. Mazal tov!
(15) Tania, April 23, 2020 5:04 PM
Circuses of old, weddings of new
Beautiful account! I am hoping that when things get back to ‘normal’ the circuses that we called weddings will be a thing of the past. Who really needs all that fuss and waste? Perhaps more than 10 people on each side but it just shows us how much people wasted for a 5 hour party. Mazal tov!
(14) Alexandra, April 23, 2020 4:53 PM
Mazel tov! Beautiful wedding and beautiful article, todah rabah
(13) Sarah Newcomb, April 23, 2020 4:11 PM
Mazel tov
Mazel tov Thank you for sharing your beautiful story May you all be blessed with simcha, good health and menuchas hanefesh-much shalom bayis bezras H”!
(12) Ofelia MI, April 23, 2020 3:29 PM
Mazaltov from Canadá
Felicitations a tout la famille.. Santé.Ton histoire m’a fait pleurer pour tant d amour Bravo
(11) Allyson Goldstein, April 23, 2020 2:54 PM
Touched
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It helped me turn my day around. What a beautiful story and what an amazing attitude you have. I hope the life you build with your husband is filled with this much love always. Mazel Tov.
(10) Rebecca Dear, April 23, 2020 2:22 PM
Mazel tov!
I just wanted to Tell you how lovely and uplifting your article is. It was the simcha you seemed to write in your words. Not to mention the gam zulah tovah that was unsaid, but seemed to be inferred. I wish you and your husband a great big Mazel tov! May Hashem bless you both with Nachas from your children,many blessings with extras, happiness, and sholom bayis. May this memory be a cherished happy moment for you and your families from a time with very little to celebrate. You are a true inspiration!
(9) Anonymous, April 23, 2020 2:08 PM
What a beautiful wedding and I wish the couple much Mazel!
(8) MESA, April 23, 2020 1:38 AM
This sounds like the kind of joyous, wonderful wedding that every couple deserves. Mazal Tov.
(7) ruchel pollak, April 23, 2020 12:23 AM
I am in tears
I really feel touched at the authentic homey spirit of this wedding. May we be zoicha to learn from this couple to make weddings in a way that brings us and hakkodosh boruch hu joy while at the same time keeping sane and sensible. Lots of brocha and mazal may you have a happy life together till 120. Lots of love and respect
(6) Rachel, April 22, 2020 9:39 PM
I hope we will think seriously about some changes going forward
Mazal tov on your marriage! Huge weddings have not always been the norm. My survivor in-laws married in her mother’s apartment in the mid 1950’s. No one in Europe could afford huge parties with lots of food. While I am not suggesting that grandparents should be omitted or that weddings without at least a minyan should become routine, perhaps we should rethink the size and cost. With food shortages looming, donations to food banks will be more important than ever. With many people unemployed, families may be digging into savings previously put away for simchas. Let’s think about how we can do the best for others, not just about having “the best” wedding.
(5) Devorah, April 22, 2020 9:19 PM
Most beautiful, heartwarming article
Wow ! What a beautiful article ! Mazeltov mazeltov, May you and your chosson merit to build a true Bayis ne’eman bYisrael, a home filled with revealed Brocha , harmony , laughter health and only sweetness ! I marvel at you and your families amazing attitude - such a huge lesson of utilizing moments to tremendous opportunities Thank you for sharing
(4) David, April 22, 2020 1:42 PM
Gam Zo L'Tova
Thanks for sharing! What a Chizuk to all of us!
(3) Yehonatan, April 21, 2020 11:17 AM
Beautiful Wedding = Family of Torah & Chesed
Beautiful Story about a truly special wedding. May Hashem bless this new home with only good health, simcha, chesed and generations of Torah
(2) Judith, April 20, 2020 9:31 PM
Mi k’amcha israel
An uplifting beautiful story about a chosen people who were taught for generations how to make lemonade when life gives you lemons. Kol hakavod
(1) Annie and Baruj Garzón, April 20, 2020 12:37 PM
מזל טוב!!!