Caleb Tanenbaum is your typical teenager and a pretty cool kid. He likes hip-artists like Jay-Z and Eminem. He likes skateboarding, video games, jamming out on his guitar, and chilling with his girlfriend. But there is something else that Caleb finds cool, his Judaism. He is proud of his heritage, proud that he was born in Israel, and proud that he lives in a country where he could express himself and his Judaism.
Two weeks ago, Caleb made the decision to begin wearing his large woolen kippah (the Jewish head covering that is customarily worn by some Jews during prayer and others throughout the day) to Northwood High School, a public school in Silver Spring, Maryland. He was expressing to his world that he is connecting with his roots and trying to discover that very important part of himself.
The school administration told Caleb to remove the kippah and doubted that he was Jewish.
It didn’t matter to him whether or not his friends would give him a hard time. It didn’t matter to him that the school administration challenged him and doubted whether he was in fact Jewish. When the school administration told Caleb to remove the kippah, Caleb refused, saying that he wore it because he is Jewish. The school then questioned his parent’s claim of their Judaism, going so far as to requiring a note from a local Rabbi.
Less than a week after I sent the letter to Principal Henry Johnson verifying that the Tanenbaums are indeed a Jewish family who frequently attend services as Aish DC, the onslaught of bad press and hate mail to the school forced them to issue a public apology to the family and to change their policy to become more tolerant of kids like Caleb, kids who are proud to express their beliefs in school.
Related Article: The Dead End of Jewish Culture
It’s unfortunate that there aren’t more young Jews like Caleb, who view their Judaism as something to be proud of. For so many, they haven’t been properly exposed to the sweetness of their heritage. They haven’t been shown how the teachings and practices of Judaism are as relevant and useful today as they have ever been and that, whether or not one wishes to take on the full gamut of Jewish observance, Jewish tradition is overflowing with values and messages of personal development and self growth.
For too many young Jews, their only impressions of Jewish life give them the misconception that Judaism is archaic, ritualistic and boring. Daydreaming through services on Yom Kippur, when the only sound more painful than the cantor chanting songs in a language they don’t understand is the sound of their hungry stomachs begging to be fed, is certainly not a great way to introduce a young person to their religion. Yet for some Jews it’s all they grow up with! Being forced to attend Hebrew School 2 or 3 times a week while their friends are chilling out, is definitely not going to make Judaism seem very cool, yet this has become the standard negative association to Judaism for a large percentage of young Jews in America today. For a religion that traces itself back over 3000 years, I would like to believe that we’ve probably used some better branding techniques in the past, if we are still here to be talking about it.
If I can’t show my students that Judaism is even more relevant than Glee, how can I expect them to fall in love with it?
As the director of a branch of Aish HaTorah, a Jewish Learning center with a mission to educate Jews about their heritage and ignite a love for Judaism, I remind myself before every class, every meeting, and every service that we offer, that our generation thirsts to be spoken to and connected with, in the most honest, direct and personal way possible. They like MTV and reality shows that reflect their own lives. They like Glee because the characters struggle with the same issues that we all do. They like Lady Gaga because she portrays herself as a rebellious misfit who is madly in love with her fans, whom she affectionately refers to as her “little monsters”, and just wants to help them discover their inner craziness.
I remind myself every day that if I can’t show my students that their Judaism can speak to them in a way that is even more relevant and even more personal than MTV, Glee, or Lady Gaga, then how can I possibly expect them to fall in love with it? And if the next generation of Jews don’t see that the stories in the Bible contain lessons that are timeless and relevant, and that the Biblical personalities struggled the very same struggles we face today, than how can we expect there to be more kids like Caleb Tanenbaum who will view their Judaism as cool and wear their Jewish headgear with pride?
(12) David Perlow, April 7, 2019 8:53 PM
Awesome
I love it! This young guy discovered himself. Just like anyone else who can look to their past and find something of meaning in it so did this Caleb. The whole American teen vibe is to be different but so many of the Jewish teens, I know for myself are just trying to be someone completley different. I think they call them Wiggers. For a black guy to wear an African dress garb, or an Arab to wear the scarf means that they are soooo cool. But when a Jew puts on a Kippa on any other day other than his bar mitzvah means he is a lunatic. Things will change. The emptiness is only growing, hang in there everybody!
(11) Gabriel Braun, February 16, 2012 1:51 PM
we need your enbrace!
Further to your article 'THE DEAD END OF JEWSIH CULTURE.' It is of great concern to world Jewry that our youth be reintroduced to traditional Judaism. However, I would also suggest that we embrace half-Jews, as full fledged partners in Judaism to perpetuate it's success throughout the world. There are half a million of us in North America that are broken hearted not being part of the Jewish People. We are willing to do what it takes to become part of the FAMILY in excahnge for your loving embrace. Welcome us as your own as we had no choice in picking our parents. Thank you. Gabe
Dovid, April 24, 2013 11:48 PM
half Jewish?
Gabe, I was in your difficult situation. Studying with a rabbi's guidance and an appropriate beis din with result in an Orthodox conversion if you want to be considered Jewish by eveyone on earth. No one picks their parents, but each person picks his/her own path. It's up to you to decide how you will pursue feeling "whole" and healing your "broken heart". Wishing you all good things along your journey. May you find comfort and peace.
(10) David Gr, February 16, 2012 1:46 PM
Amen
You described much of my youthful experience with Judaism, sad to say. I am so glad of what you and Aish are doing to reach disenfranchised Jews like me. At 66 and being happily married to a gentile lady, it is a bit late for me. I still pray and observe what I can of the mitzvo. I wish I had been exposed to something like Aish in my youth. Keep up the good work. :-)
(9) Chana, February 16, 2012 8:09 AM
history
Almost 40 years ago my family moved to a new neighborhood with a large Orthodox population. My brother, then 10 years old, was invited to the boys' yeshiva's summer day camp and took to Orthodox Judaism like a fish to water. When September arrived, my parents insisted that he attend public school, as had been originally planned. So off he went, to 5th grade, the only kid in the school with a kippa and tzitzit. Suffice it to say that the other kids in the school weren't very supportive and by 6th grade my brother was enrolled in the local yeshiva day school. 40 years later our family, pretty much alone among our extended family, is raising the next generation in a completely Jewish atmosphere with Jewish day schools, commitment to Jewish practices and traditions and, for some of us, a life in Israel. Caleb and others like him have no idea of what they are starting when they become more affiliated to their heritage. It's not just their own lives that can be transformed by their outward commitment to Judaism, but the lives of those around us. Many years ago, by chance,I met a man who had moved to Israel from my home community. He told me that he was in 2nd grade when my brother was in 5th grade at their public school with his kippa and tzitzit. He told me that the whole school was observing the scenes where my brother was insisting that he wear his tzitzit and kippa daily (the staff was supportive but the other kids were quite cruel and bullied him) This young man said that the incident made such an impression on him that it served as an inspiration to him. He strengthened his own commitment as he got older and moved to Israel to lead a traditional Jewish life.
(8) r.c.lavan dera, February 15, 2012 6:10 PM
great,awesome !,,
way to go rabbi !!,,i would like ,,to see in the near future,some teaching on ,mussar,,specially as it relates to business ethics,,there have been ,too many bad examples of prominent jews in the business world giving bad examples of how we as jews should conduct our selves.,,please bring back the teachings rav israel salanter,
(7) Anonymous, February 14, 2012 7:11 PM
beautiful!!
(6) Lucia, February 13, 2012 5:09 PM
Equality
If you allow a kid to show his judaism, then you have to allow all other students to show the signs of their religions. Nuns, muslims, budhistes, etc. What you believe is in your heart and you show it by your behaviour, which must always honor God. The show-off for others is not all necessary and can be considered a provocative.
(5) Kaila Lasky, February 13, 2012 4:38 AM
Way to go, Rabbi!
(4) Shraga, February 12, 2012 9:24 PM
Awsome!
This is so great to see Aish in the field igniting Jewish sparks. Keep up the amazing work in Aish DC !
(3) Naomi Ruben, February 12, 2012 8:57 PM
Do fact checking behind the scene first, then proceed
Maybe what the principal could have done was use this opportunity as a learning experience for himself and others. He could have made an appointment with the student behind closed doors, and asked for more information about his new outward declaration of observance. He could have asked the history of this decision, inquired about where he goes to practice, (what religious institution) and then called the Rabbi and asked in confidence about this practice. I can imagine that if one is familiar with traditional-looking kippot, and someone declared this different-looking item a kippot, it might raise questions. When we treat others with dignity and ask fact finding questions, we can all learn from each other. It didn't have to end up this way.
(2) Anonymous, February 12, 2012 5:31 PM
Rabbi Buxbaum is "right on" in his comments
Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum "hit the nail on the head" when he encouraged the transmission of the Jewish heritage in a fashion that must appeal to the modern generation. He speaks the language of the contemporary Jew and possesses the passion that ignites the younger generation. More power to him and those leaders like him. Stanley Wagner
(1) Vitor Retamal, February 12, 2012 12:49 PM
My name is Vitor Retamal, i am 14 to 15 years old, i live in Brasil, i am very proud of being jewish, and i always wear my kippah, no one ever forced me to use it, and i am also very cool. i LOVE BEING JEWISH