Several months after becoming director of the department of psychiatry at Pittsburgh’s St. Francis hospital, founded and run by the Sisters of St. Francis, Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski was summoned to meet the bishop. Bishop Wright wanted Rabbi Twerski (whom he would always call Rabbi despite his medical credentials) to counsel the nuns who were having trouble adjusting to the liberalization of the convent by Vatican II.
After a long conversation discussing the project, Rabbi Twerski could no longer contain himself. He said to the bishop, “You know, the historical relationship between the Church and the Jews has not always been pleasant. Isn’t it a bit ironic that when the Church is in trouble, you have recourse to a rabbi?”
To that the bishop rejoined with a smile, “My dear rabbi, even in the worst of times, the popes’ personal physicians were Jewish.”
“Well, then,” Rabbi Twerski said with his signature humor, “if you should make it to the papacy, you already have your personal Jewish doctor. The only problem is that you chose a psychiatrist, and that might cause some people to raise their eyebrows.”
The bishop laughed heartily and gave Rabbi Twerski a bear hug. When the young rabbi was ready to depart, the bishop bowed his head and asked, “Bless me, rabbi.”1
The story is epigrammatic of his life. His professional accomplishments were monumental. After twenty years at St. Francis Hospital, Rabbi Twerski founded the Gateway Rehabilitation Center for alcoholics and drug addicts, which Forbes magazine designated as one of America’s “top twelve rehabilitation programs.” He oversaw Gateway’s expansion to a network of facilities throughout Pennsylvania and Ohio that treat over 1500 clients daily. He founded the Sha’ar Hatikvah rehabilitation center for prisoners in Israel. He authored ninety books on psychology and Jewish spirituality. He lectured internationally and was featured in hundreds of magazine and newspaper articles. Yet he did it all as a blessing.
Becoming a Psychiatrist
The scion of an esteemed Chasidic dynasty, the young Rabbi Twerski longed to counsel people. For a few years he served as an assistant to his father, the Hornsteipler Rebbe of Milwaukee, but the duties of a congregational rabbi, performing weddings, funerals, unveilings, and Bar Mitzvahs, did not appeal to him. His decision to become a doctor was clinched one day when he visited a congregation member in the hospital. The patient told him, “Your father was here yesterday. It was so remarkable, because ever since my operation, I was not free of pain. Nothing the doctors prescribed seemed to help. But yesterday, when your father walked in, I felt the pain lift off, as if by magic.”
The young Rabbi Twerski realized that he could not help people by wielding the spiritual powers in which Chasidic rebbes like his father were adept. He would have to find another way, by becoming a psychiatrist.
Still, he was reluctant to break the chain of rabbis that went back many generations in his family. He consulted Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as the Steipler, the foremost Torah authority in the Jewish world. Much to his surprise, the Steipler approved Rabbi Twerski’s going to medical school. At the same time, he suggested safeguards that would prevent him from deviating from Torah principles: to study Torah every day, to honor the sanctity of Shabbos by not studying secular subjects or even reading a newspaper on Shabbos, and to pray fervently for Divine guidance. Rabbi Twerski held to these practices throughout his ninety years of life.
While always loyal to Jewish tradition, Rabbi Twerski had the courage to explode taboos. His book The Shame Borne in Silence on spousal abuse in the Jewish community met with bitter opposition, but eventually a chastened community owned up to the problem and set up organizations to deal with it. His book on gambling addiction, Compulsive Gambling: More than Dreidel likewise brought gambling addiction in the Jewish community out of the closet.
Guard Your Eyes
At the age of 79, Rabbi Twerski was retired when two young men approached him. They had an innovative idea of an internet site to deal with Jewish men trapped by pornography. They were providing a free, anonymous site for those ranging from occasional viewers to addicts, with three levels of cutting-edge programs, and a world-wide support group.
By this time in his life Rabbi Twerski had received numerous awards as well as three honorary degrees. He could have looked down on these young whipper-snappers as quixotic idealists compared to his lengthy record of solid achievement. He could have chosen to rest on his laurels instead of plunging into a pioneering effort. He could have written a few lines of endorsement and sent them away. Instead, Rabbi Twerski joined forces with them to promote Guardyoureyes.com, which has helped more than 40,000 Jews struggling against pornography addiction. In addition to his public support of GYE in videos and live lectures, Rabbi Twerski accompanied GYE founders Yaakov Nadel and Yechezkel Stelzer on fundraising trips. He traipsed through the snow with them in Toronto, knocking on doors to ask for donations.
In November, 2018, at the age of 88, Rabbi Twerski ignited a firestorm by writing in Hamodia newspaper an article he called, “My Well Has Run Dry.” In it he lamented that he no longer had the creativity to write and to offer new pearls of inspiration. His pain at no longer being able to help—and to bless—was palpable. The letters of protest from his legions of admirers came flooding in. They refused to accept his resignation. And, as always, he bowed to the will of those eager to receive from him.
Just last week, his 90th book, Tallis & Tefillin, Bagels & Lox: Two Components to Living a Spiritual Life was published by Menucha Publishers. The day before he took ill with Covid-19, just a week before he died, he was still in email correspondence with his publisher. And he had already submitted a couple of chapters for his 91st book.
My Personal Encounter
Although I have read several of Rabbi Twerski’s books and heard him lecture in person a few times, I had no personal relationship with him. Nevertheless, a month ago I decided that I needed an Introduction from Rabbi Twerski for a book I am writing. “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” I got his phone number and called him. He answered the phone graciously. (How I wish I were as gracious when strangers call me!)
When I explained that I wanted a two-page Introduction from him, he replied that he couldn’t write an Introduction, which would be taken as an endorsement, without reading the book. He gave me his email address, and at 11 AM I sent him the seventy pages I had written so far. Exactly three hours later, a beautiful Introduction appeared in my inbox. He began, “I was thrilled to learn that Sara Yoheved Rigler, who has spent years teaching women about healthy marriage, is now writing a book …”
I read his words with consternation. He had never met me. I doubt he had ever read any of my books or articles. Yet, in his generosity of spirit he was thrilled that I was writing this book. I felt like I was hearing the rustle of angel’s wings.
Self-Esteem: Polish the Diamond
Rabbi Dr. Twerski used to say, “I wrote more than sixty books, but really I wrote one book sixty different ways.” His basic theme was the importance of self-esteem. He considered lack of self-esteem to be the root of all psychological problems, as well as addiction, marital strife, etc.
Years ago, Rabbi Twerski started a rehabilitation program in Israel for ex-convicts who had been imprisoned for drug-related crimes. At the first meeting, he said that recovery depends on developing self-esteem. Avi, one of the ex-cons, objected that he could never develop self-esteem. He was 34 years old and had spent half his life in prison. What could he feel self-respect about?
A young Rabbi Twerski with actor Danny Thomas
Rabbi Twerski replied: “Have you ever seen a display of diamonds in a jewelry store window? Those diamonds are scintillatingly beautiful and worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Do you know what they looked like when they were brought out of the diamond mine? They looked like ugly, dirty pieces of glass… I may not be a maven [expert] on diamonds, Avi, but I am a mavin on people. You have a beautiful soul within you, but it has been covered with layers of ugly behavior. We will help you get rid of those layers and reveal the beauty of your soul.”
Avi stayed in the program, eventually found a job, and remained free of drugs. One day Annette, the administrator of the program, called Avi. An elderly woman had died and her family wanted to donate her furniture to the rehabilitation program. Annette asked Avi to help by picking up the furniture and bringing it to their second-floor location. As Avi was schlepping the old sofa up the stairs, an envelope fell out of the cushions. In it was 5,000 shekels. Avi could have pocketed the money, but instead he handed it over to Annette. Annette informed the family, who donated the sum to the rehab program.
When Rabbi Twerski next saw Avi, he said to him, “What you did was truly exceptional, and shows the beauty of the ‘diamond’ within you.”
Avi had a bronze plaque made and affixed it to the door of the rehab center. It reads: Diamond Processing Center.2
Rabbi’s Twerski’s unending blessings will continue.
- From The Rabbi and the Nuns by Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski (Mekor Press, 2013), pp. 47-49
- Ibid., pp. 188-190
(34) Anonymous, February 7, 2021 3:20 AM
There is significance to the picture with Danny Thomas. He paid for Rabbi Twersky's medical school tuition when the family could not afford it. When rabbi Twersky wanted to repay the gift, Danny Thomas refused to accept it, so Rabbi Twersky donated it to St. Jude's. ( written in this week's Yated)
(33) Nancy, February 5, 2021 8:42 PM
Alcoholism, substance abuse and domestic violence
I grew up hearing that "Jews don't drink." Before Rabbi Twerski opened up his treatment facility in Pittsburgh, so many substance abusing Jews were alone. Although he is niftar, his work will certainly live on. I had not read any of his books, and yesterday I ordered the book he wrote about domestic violence in the Jewish community. I'm sorry I never got to meet him in person, but I have a feeling that this book will make me feel as if I had.
(32) Neria Moye, February 5, 2021 4:02 PM
Thank you
Thank you for remembering dear Rabbi Twersky's legacy of generosity in this article. This comforts us and transforms our tears to enlightenment. Shabbat Shalom
(31) David Aaron, February 5, 2021 12:22 PM
A profoundly great Rabbi and wholesome human being is now reaping the rewards of his undying Kiddush Hashem, as he joins every righteous person who merits a place in Gan Eden. Z/l
I will dearly miss our saintly Rav Twerski who has inspired me for over two decades. His teachings will always shape my life going forward. I look forward with hope to reading his 90th book.
(30) Anonymous, February 4, 2021 6:43 PM
I pray and wish more people like Rabbi Twerski existed everywhere. He helped so many people....he was clearly a tzadic...definitely Hashem sent him from above to help us....
(29) KH Ryesky, February 4, 2021 4:59 PM
He saw the truth
Rabbi Twerski left a lasting impression upon just about all who have personally met him, myself included. My Rabbi Abraham Twersky story:
In his article "Helping the Agunos: Halachic Solutions" (Jewish Observer, Iyar 5760 / May 2000, p. 12) Rabbi Yehuda Leib Lewis states, "Everyone knows that agunos are caused by recalcitrant husbands, not by rabbis who plead in vain for civilized behavior."
HOWEVER, in "The Shame Borne in Silence" [ISBN: 978-0964850811], pages 125 - 126, Rabbi Twerski writes:
"A husband's refusal to provide a get is an obvious abuse of power. He has taken a provision of the Torah and made it into a weapon of tyrrany and oppression. Without exception, every case of aguna, every case of a husband's refusal to give a get, will reveal a history of a woman's having been abused during the marriage, This last and perhaps greatest abuse of power, refusal to give a get, occurs only in individuals who were abusers and who had been either batterers or tyrannic controllers of their wives.
In virtually all of these cases, the abused wife had turned for help to her family or to rabbis earlier in the marriage, and they had made efforts to reconcile the couple, convincing her to return to the marriage for the sake of shalom bayis. It is these cases that may result in the woman becoming an aguna. The benign intentions of those who sought to preserve shalom bayis unfortunately contributed to the plight of the woman who became an aguna."
I do not know what did or did not happen behind the scenes at the Agudath Israel of America, which published the J.O., but my letter to the editor addressing the aforementioned disconnect was neither published nor acknowledged. [Ironically, Rabbi Twerski's own brother was on the publication's Editorial Board.].
Were it not for Dr. Twerski, perhaps the Agudath Israel would not have come as far out of absolute denial of the domestic abuse problem's existence as it now has.
(28) Anonymous, February 4, 2021 1:16 PM
Beautiful, thank you, we await the Rabbi’s next book and yours. A”h, he gave us all so much. As do you.
(27) Ilana Rachel Wald, February 3, 2021 5:27 PM
Great Rabbi Twersky’s Living Legacy
As we breathe air—we feel and live in his teachings and philosophy. We are blessed to have them. We have to thank HaShem by trying.
(26) Anonymous, February 3, 2021 12:11 PM
Thanks
You answered my question about the plural.
(25) Reuven Frank, February 3, 2021 4:59 AM
"Let US Make Man"
First of all, it takes a TRULY great writer to not only make you feel the Rabbi's passing, but to smile a little, too.
I never met the Rabbi personally, but I read his books and they helped me at a time when I had a great need for help.
I chose the title of one of his books for the "Summary"/subject line because it carries a powerful message.
G-d says, "Let US create man" [emphasis mine] just before he creates Adam.
Different commentators have made attempts to explain the use of the plural.
The glaring question, of course, being: Just who exactly is He talking to?
Rabbi Twerski answered: He is talking to every man, every individual.
Sure I created you, but the work of BECOMING a Man, a mentsch, is one both of us. You make the effort and I'll help you.
All who came into contact with the Rabbi are now better human beings for it.
He will be missed.
May he blessing be fora memory.
(24) Mike, February 3, 2021 3:06 AM
Favorite author
I started reading Rabbi Twerski’s books 20 years ago. The topics were varied, but the quality was always top notch. My favorite is “Light at the end of the tunnel “. I will dearly miss looking for his upcoming books.
(23) elaine fleischman, February 3, 2021 3:03 AM
great article
My heart feels heavy at the passing of Rabbi Abe. I heard him speak and read some of his books. He was a scholar and tzadik, helping homeless downtrodden addicts and writing books on various Jewish and secular subjects. He was an outstanding leader and inspired and helped thousands.
(22) Tally Traksbetrygier, February 3, 2021 2:41 AM
Blessings
Thank you so much for your words. Thanks to HShem that we are Am Israel.Thanks to wonderful Rabbi Twerski for bringing light in the middle of darkness, concious in the middle of concious. Love in the middle of dispairn
(21) Anonymous, February 2, 2021 10:19 PM
Thank you
for your beautiful tribute.Very much look forward to yr book. How sad to learn about this toll of Covid. Hope a way out will be found perhaps by learning from individual cases such as the case of a kind rabbi who published his on aish.com.. Have good reason to believe I I had it and learned that it seemingly does not really go away. You seem to get re-infected just by air without even human contact.. Or perhaps from dormant viruses inside yr body I don't know. Caution, prompt reaction, excellent food seems everything. Henceforth early flu symptoms must be considered possibly lethal and attended promptly. Difficult for those who want or feel under pressure to finish a bit more work. first. Employees may need extra protection by their employer. who should make it possible for them to instantly withdraw, take care of themselves and rest, starting this process already at work. Time seems all. Picture is like the one of the spanish flu. all the way thru, If you know the history and post symptoms of the Spanish flu you will be well ahead of upcoming headlines in medical journals,, What they discover had been there almost 1 by one 100 yrs ago
(20) Bracha Goetz, February 2, 2021 9:11 PM
Wonderful!
(19) Rachel, February 2, 2021 6:27 PM
Don’t sell yourself short, Ms Rigler
I would not be surprised at all if Rabbi Twerski was aware of your work.
(18) Joel, February 2, 2021 6:04 PM
Reb Avraham, BDE
I had the privilege of meeting Rabbi Twerski a number of time as I attended the shul in Denver run by his brother, Reb Shlomo. What an incredible family, dynasty, and force in the universe. May his family be comforted by knowing how many people, jew and non-jew alike, he touched over the years.
(17) Dr Sherman Silber, February 2, 2021 5:09 PM
Danny Thomas, father of Marlo Thomas, funded Rabbi Twerski through medical school.
The great inspiring comedian, Danny Thomas, was the father of our dear friend, Marlo Thomas. When Rabbi Twerski was in medical school at a Catholic university in Milwaukee, Marquette, he told the dean that he would have to drop out to support his parents large family. Danny Thomas gave much money to Catholic causes that had non-sectarian impact. Thomas asked the dean, “who is that Hasidic looking guy?” The dean said he was their very best student, “but we are losing him because he has to drop out. “. Without any hesitation the great Danny Thomas wrote out a check to fund Rabbi Twerski all the way through medical school and to help his family as well. Like Danny Thomas, Rabbi Twerski helped diverse people with diverse religion or no religion , everyone and anyone who needed him.
(16) William szuszkewicz, February 2, 2021 4:43 PM
The Hope
The world will indeed be the poorer for Rabbi Twerski’s passing. His was a life lived in the service of others , constantly shining his light into the darkest places.He gave hope to all and will ,through his life’s work , continue to do so.
(15) yael, February 2, 2021 4:26 PM
Gorgeous, gorgeous article, Sara Yoheved, as usual!
I just wanted to point out that guardyoureyes.com is not only for those addicted to improper sites. It's for anyone who wants to stay away from them. We wouldn't want people to be embarrassed to use the system. It doesn't mean you're an addict, just that you want to set yourself up a guard to make sure you never go near anything wrong. I believe. Thx so much!
(14) Paul, February 2, 2021 4:13 PM
A Soul Emblazoned
Rabbi Abraham Twerski's blessings have kept a light in my heart and soul for over 20 years. Although I mourn for passing, I know his words will live forever. Never forget what G-d gives us.
(13) Toby Klein Greenwald, February 2, 2021 3:42 PM
Thank you for these wonderful stories
I did have the privilege of knowing him personally, and hearing him give talks, during the time period that he spent part of the year in Efrat, and he was one of the wisest, kindest, deepest people I've ever met. A true blessing sent to the world and to all who knew him. We need to now remember what we learned from him, and what we have yet to learn, through his books, and pass it on.
(12) robert baumol, February 2, 2021 3:21 PM
thank you for your beautiful tribute to an amazing man.
thank you for your beautiful tribute to an amazing man. I look forward to reading one of your books. Robert Baumol
(11) marc aron, February 2, 2021 2:57 PM
personal interaction with Rabbi Twerski
Unlnown to many, Rabbi Twersky lived in Teaneck for a few years before he made Aliyah.
I had the ultimate Zchut to daven every day for approximately five years with Rabbi Twersky. Not only that, but almost every day, he gave a 10 minute drasha, really a lesson in life, between Mincha and Maariv. Hard to describe the atmosphere in the shul knowing who was standing in front of us. Additionally, he gave a Chanuka Tisch on Shabat Chanuka in the Shul that unfortuantely could not be recorded on Friday night, but was the ultimate life lesson. I did physical rehab on my ankle in the same place he did rehab for his back and We would sit and talk and I can't describe what a humble and amazing person he was. I, along with many, will miss his teachings and his warm embrace. May he be a Maylitz Yosher for all Klal Yisrael.
(10) Dena, February 2, 2021 2:38 PM
Beautiful
That was a beautiful tribute to a giant who has helped and inspired so many people. I saw that article in Hamodia and I found it so distressing. I really felt his pain. Rabbi Twersky left a legacy in every person who was affected by him in some way. May his memory be a blessing and may his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion.
(9) Anonymous, February 2, 2021 2:34 PM
What a beautiful uplifting and inspiring article. It has made my day and confirmed my self esteem. Thanks for sharing. What a profound clump of dust that became one of our Jewish people’s finest diamonds.
(8) Hedva, February 2, 2021 1:12 PM
Beautiful article about an amazing man. Rigler always informs and moves.
I love Mrs. Rigler's writing, but this brought years to my eyes. Thank you for sharing about Rabbi Twerski's good works.
(7) Adam Ross, February 2, 2021 9:50 AM
Beautiful article
Thank you for sharing these gems.
(6) Binyomin Bernstein, February 2, 2021 5:59 AM
Sara, your writings are likened to the diamonds
All mankind, Jews and Non-Jews, will mourn the loss of Rabbi Doctor Avraham Twerski. The blessing for each of us, however, is we will now have another powerful, influential and loving advocate beseeching the Master of the Universe for our speedy redemption.
(5) Anonymous, February 2, 2021 4:08 AM
BDE
Beautiful article. Thank you SYR.
(4) Karen A, February 1, 2021 10:32 PM
BDE - Love Rabbi Twerski, too (even though I never met him)
Thanks Rebbetzin SYR - Rabbi Twerski ztz'l was truly a trailblazer, one of "The Good Guys', to put it mildly. As an ilui neshama, may we all polish or re-polish and buff our own diamonds and may our sheen and shine give him peace in Gan Eden. Respectfully, with Love. Karen A
(3) Rhoda Reiss, February 1, 2021 6:31 PM
Rabbi Twerski
He was a giant of a Rabbi who gave so much to the world, both Jewish and non Jewish.
His nephew, Mordechi Twerski, saved my life after my husband was killed in a car accident." Don't ask why , only G'd knows why." "Ask what you will do with the rest of your life". That was Twerski wisdom.
(2) Anonymous, February 1, 2021 5:59 PM
I loved hearing his wisdom on you tube.
(1) Nancy, February 1, 2021 5:28 PM
May Rabbi Twerski’s memory be a blessing
BDE.