Every week a group of elderly retired Jews hold Shabbat dinners at Wendy's. Despite its unusual and decidedly non-kosher setting, “It’s a meaningful celebration,” notes Rachel Myers, a Los Angeles director and designer in the film industry, whose grandmother Roberta Mahler is one of the Shabbat dinner regulars. In 2017, Ms. Myers decided to make a short documentary about the community, and her film, “Wendy’s Shabbat”, is being screened in film festivals across the United States in 2018.
In an Aish.com exclusive interview, Ms. Myers explains that her grandmother and others are “finding the connection to Judaism in whatever way they can” through their weekly Shabbat dinners at Wendy’s.
The film is a moving window into the yearning of this group of retirees to connect with Jewish tradition and community. “Shabbat is a unique day,” one regular notes, “because it’s supposed to transform you from the ordinary to the extraordinary.” His regular Shabbat dinners at Wendy’s are an attempt to bring that promise and holiness into his life.
The group is a remarkable testament to the determination to connect with other Jews and with Jewish tradition, no matter what the obstacles.
Judaism teaches that each and every Jew possesses a “pintele Yid”, an indestructible ember within us that longs to express one’s Jewish soul.
This visceral desire to connect has motivated the dozens of Jews who gather each week in Palm Desert. “Living by yourself and having a group going to Wendy’s – it gives you a feeling of belonging,” one weekly participant relates. Another confides, “It gives you a warm feeling to be involved – it’s a feeling within that you need something.”
“Wendy’s Shabbat” is a powerful reminder that we all long for holiness and connection.
The clip has gone viral and is sparking people across the country to get in touch with the filmmakers and enquire about starting their own Shabbat dinners in fast food restaurants. While many find the concept of fast-food Shabbat meals inspiring, I also have found them troubling and traced with sadness. In a country as rich in Jewish resources as ours, is this really the best we can do for our bubbies and zeidies? Judaism mandates that we perform the mitzvah of hachnasas orchim, or welcoming guests. Does the existence of Wendy’s Shabbats mean that we’re not doing all we can to include the most vulnerable Jews in our Shabbat and other celebrations? Can’t we provide these yearning souls with a deeper, more authentic Shabbat experience?
I remember inviting an elderly widow to join us for Shabbat dinner. She eagerly said yes and that Friday evening, as the sun went down, my kids went over to help her down her front steps and into our home. As she walked through our door, she looked transformed. She’d clearly made a big effort to dress up for the occasion and even had her hair done at a salon. She was so happy to have been invited into our home. As we made the Shabbat blessings together, I asked myself why I hadn’t invited her over more often, how we could have let her languish all alone next door all those weeks, longing to be a part of a Shabbat celebration but not knowing how.
“Wendy’s Shabbat” is a powerful reminder that we all long for holiness and connection, and is a testament to the determination to join with others through Jewish tradition.
It’s also a reminder of our duty to include the lonely and isolated among us. It’s moving that so many Jewish retirees are seeking companionship and holiness in ad hoc Shabbat dinners in a fast food restaurant. It’s my hope that soon they can find this companionship in a home, as well. That soon, they can make the Shabbat blessings over real candles, that they can enjoy real wine, and that they can connect even more with their wider Jewish community. For now, their fortitude and determination in trying to carve out a Jewish community for themselves should be an inspiration for us all.
(15) Rafi Weinstein, February 16, 2018 11:24 AM
Make Wendy's Kosher
Sadly the "easiest" way to make things better, would be to make some Wendy's kosher somehow...
(14) Anonymous, February 16, 2018 7:40 AM
Sad and lovely.
The fact is that many older people are often alone and don't have many friends or family to be with. It's very sad that our culture in general leaves old people alone. It's also lovely that they get dressed up and look forward to a nice meal together, whether it is according to halacha or not.
I was an older single, and now I am a single mother, and I can attest that even the frum world leaves many of us alone on Shabbos and holidays. I actually dread the holidays, calling around to request invitations from families. It can be degrading. The elderly, and those not connected to a religious community, are often alone.
(13) Anonymous, February 16, 2018 12:53 AM
Very very sad -We religious Jews are doing something wrong!
This article brings tears and immense sadness.Reading all about the Holocaust and learning how people yearned to do mitzvot and were even ready to give up their lives, and then I read this article.What are we, religious people, doing wrong that these elderly people, close to the end of their financial successful lives, do not want to embrace a real Shabbos; making it what it is supposed to be - a sign between the Jewish People and Hashem. How enriched their lives would be if there would be someone who would encourage and bring them to a real Shabbos experience. What a great mitzvah that would be. This is a wake-up call to all people who keep the laws between man and the Almighty. We must polish our act and make sure our lives are a Kiddush Hashem. When frum Jews act according to the entire Torah, the non-religious will want to join. Ben Shapiro's father always said -You either make a Chilul Hashem or a Kiddush Hashem.
(12) Bunny Shuch, February 15, 2018 8:44 AM
There are solutions to this problem
Chabad of Shoreline in CT hosts a free Shabbat dinner for people of all ages twice a month. Perhaps more synagogues could pursue this tradition by getting their members to volunteer their services to cook and donate the food. Another option would be for synagogues to provide a clearing house for people who are willing to host, and people who would like to be invited. .A friend of ours has hosted people from her synagogue for Jewish holiday lunches and dinners for years. When she finds out someone is alone, she invites them to come. Sometimes there have been 35 or 40 people at a meal. It's created a great sense of community. Of course, this is a huge amount of work, but it would help if people would invite even one person to their home for a Shabbos meal.
(11) Anonymous, February 15, 2018 1:58 AM
Don't feel sorry for these folks.
There are 5 synagogues within driving range of Palm Desert, but these retirees choose to go to Wendy's. The film makes it clear why they make this choice. A meal is 4 bucks. These are not poor Jews living in some run down city neighborhood. These are retirees who live in a nice, clean city. They don't have to go to Wendy's, they choose to go to Wendy's.
Kathy L, February 15, 2018 11:01 PM
Maybe they like the independence
Maybe seniors don’t always want to be a focus of a mitzvah. Folks: it’s not so great to feel you have been included to a Jewish dinner because the host knows you are “alone.” People want to feel like they can get out and do things on their own, not be the poor lonely person that someone compassionately rescues. I think the gatherings are great! For myself, I would not choose a non kosher fast food restaurant but I also realize that it takes a LOT of energy, time and money to feed a crowd - the seniors probably don’t want to take that on and they like being together. Much more fun than being the poor extra guest at another family’s table. I don’t have the right to judge anyone else’s Jewish observance.
Nancy, February 16, 2018 12:41 PM
To commenter #11 anonymous
Have any people in any of the 5 synagogues you mention offered to host people for Shabbat? Have these people been invited to either Shabbat dinner or lunch? You also mentioned that the synagogues were within driving distance. Has anyone offered to let any of these people stay in their homes overnight? I wonder...
(10) Anonymous, February 14, 2018 5:03 AM
This is tradition??!!
While this seems like a very meaningful gathering of community and Shabbat tradition I find it extremely disconcerting that they are eating treife, including bacon without question. That's tradition???!!! That's meaningful? Are there no kosher restaurants or Jewish organizations that can encourage this wonderful idea and give them a meal for $4 in true Shabbat spirit? And perhaps teach them the proper way to make the brachot when eating bread?
It seems like a lovely gathering of older people that can be guided towards even greater things.
(9) Lm, February 14, 2018 3:27 AM
Atmosphere
Though I don’t agree with the location, there is a lot to be said about the location. Why Wendy’s? Because it is a non intimidating atmosphere. No judgement, just show up and your included. You dont need membership or feel pressured to become “more” observant. I think there is a lot to be learned from this video and how to help people in their search for Jewish connection. Seniors and people of all ages need opportunities like this but in kosher settings.
(8) Dvorah, February 13, 2018 8:56 PM
not awful at all
Shabbat represents a gathering of people, no judgment, a day which you are "unplugged", so to speak, which means a day that we don't work, forget about our work problems etc. There is a big difference between nothing and everything, the more good we all do, the better. Hashem does not expect us to be perfect..these people who gather at Wendy's are doing SOMETHING that they may not do on other days of the week to bring in, welcome their version of Shabbos. I understand Wendy's is not Kosher, but please remember, Hashem cares more about what comes out of our mouth, rather than what goes into it.
EJ, February 15, 2018 3:18 AM
Keeping Kosher is a mitzvah too!
How do you know Hashem cares more about what comes out of our mouth than what goes into it? Where does it say that preference in the Torah? Of course we have laws about guarding our speech and what comes out of our mouths, but so too are there laws about the food we eat. Why would there be laws of kashrut if He doesn't care about what comes into our mouths? We are responsible for our actions.
(7) Anonymous, February 13, 2018 7:21 PM
Awesome!
Very beautiful, a great new trend for everywhere.
(6) Anonymous, February 13, 2018 6:24 PM
It's not only the elderly.
There are plenty of single Jews both young and old with nowhere to go on Shabbos. Even though there are many people who know that I am alone on Shabbos, I have rarely been invited to come to someone's home. It doesn't seem the Jews are as willing to have strangers to their homes as they would like you to believe they are.
(5) Phil, February 13, 2018 5:01 PM
Perception
Both you and the author feel bad about the situation, but the author's take on it will win over way more hearts than your comment will.
(4) sari goldman, February 13, 2018 4:13 PM
I had to comment again after reading the title. I do not think this is traced with sadness....I call it hope and caring. They are not sitting at home but celebrating the most important day together. None of them are sad...they are sharing and have found community. They are not broken into groups...Reform. conservative, modern orthodox, orthodox...just JEWS celebrating together.
(3) sari goldman, February 13, 2018 4:08 PM
fantastic
The togetherness on Shabbat is what counts....not the place or the food. I think this is wonderful. Not everyone has family near them when they retire or want to cook a big meal. This gives companionship and renews the Jewish spirit for all. G-d bless this fantastic group.
(2) Nancy, February 13, 2018 4:02 PM
A very good beginning......
But we can and MUST do better.
(1) Anonymous, February 13, 2018 3:27 PM
so happy they have each other
I am sitting here now after viewing the tape and crying. it would be amazing for groups all over the united states/Israel to start hachnasat orchim for these pple. with no family and have them in a enviorment of feeling shabbat. let them stay together, but in home/matnas bldg. along with kosher food etc.