Tisha B’Av came early this year. The whole Jewish People is plunged into mourning, a mourning as deep as our hopes were high, as dark as our prayers and unity were bright.
Monday night just before Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s weekly class in my home, I was putting out cold water and cups. Rivka, one of the students, came close to me and whispered in my ear, “I had dinner with someone from the Prime Minister’s Office. There’s going to be bad news tonight.”
I looked at her quizzically. She nodded portentously. I ran to the next room to my computer and logged onto Internet news. There in the headline where, for 18 days, we had read the word, “boys,” now there screamed the gruesome, horrific word, “bodies.” “Bodies of three kidnapped Israeli teens found.”
I screamed in anguish. I had thought they were alive. I had thought they were being held as hostages, kept safely for a prisoner exchange. I collapsed into tears of shock and grief. When I collected myself enough to go into the living room, I found Rebbetzin Heller sitting there with her head in her hand, and 20 women weeping.
One of the students offered the information that the boys were found in a field ten minutes away from the place were they were kidnapped, and that they were murdered immediately, within the first hour.
They were already dead before we even knew they were abducted? Before prayers throughout the world stormed heaven for their safe return? Before Jews of every religious and political stripe united in a way we have not seen in years? Before the three mothers appeared at the United Nations Human Rights Council in Geneva pleading for support? Before 15,000 Israeli soldiers, not much older than the boys themselves, spent two weeks without sleep or showers combing every basement and tunnel beneath the terrorist stronghold of Hebron? They were already butchered, their young bodies lying in a shallow grave miles north of the search area.
And in the ocean of our mourning, a question rises up like a sea monster: Were our prayers and our good deeds and our unity in vain?
My friend Tamar lived with her family in Columbia. Her older brother, married with two children, was kidnapped. The kidnappers demanded a million dollars ransom. Tami’s father scraped together the funds and paid the ransom, but her brother was never returned. Six months later they learned, from a man kidnapped together with her brother who escaped, that the kidnappers had murdered her brother before the ransom was even paid.
Were our prayers and good deeds and unity a ransom paid for the safe return of three youths who were already dead? Were our massive spiritual efforts wasted?
Even the night before the bodies were found, nearly 100,000 Israelis assembled in Rabin Square in Tel Aviv in a rally for the youths’ safe return. Celebrities sang songs of yearning and courage, the crowd recited a chapter of Psalms, and the parents of the boys spoke. Iris Yifrach, the mother of Eyal, addressing her missing son, proclaimed, “The whole nation is uniting, everybody is worried about you, waiting for you. …I turn to our precious Am Yisrael – all types and stripes of Jews – we are going through this terrible time together. Let us all support one another.”
Then Racheli Fraenkel, the mother of Naftali, uttered words that in retrospect turn our bones to tears: “Somewhere, there are three kids, living kids, not symbols. There is no chance any of us will give up. The love that we feel here is giving them life.”
They were already two weeks dead. The outpouring of love and goodness of millions of Jews worldwide could not undo the evil of a cabal of vile Jew-haters.
So out of our ocean of mourning, the sea monster of doubt rears its head and mocks: Your prayers and good deeds and unity were in vain.
“Jews Don’t Pray”
Rabbi David Aaron, teaching a series about prayer, exclaimed: “Jews don’t pray.” The word “prayer” comes from a Latin word meaning “to beg.” The problems inherent is that concept of prayer are that we don’t have to tell God what we need, because God is omniscient, and it is futile to try to change God’s mind because God always gives us what He knows is best for us.
On the other hand, the Hebrew word for appealing to God is “l’hitpallel.” It is a reflexive verb, indicating that one is acting on oneself. Through our prayers, we don’t change God; rather, we change ourselves. Since God always gives us as much good as we can contain, through tefilla, prayer, we make ourselves into bigger vessels to contain God’s blessing.
No one can doubt that after 18 days of prayer, good deeds, and a radiant unity not seen in years, the Jewish people is bigger than it was before that frightful night. We are changed. We have transformed from a bickering tribe to a united family. For 18 days, our hearts beat in unison. Our prayers were not an appeal rejected, but a force of love so hot that it melted the iron walls between us, a wind of yearning so strong that it blew off the masks that camouflage our truest selves.
But what of Eyal, Naftali, and Gilad? According to Judaism, the soul of one killed for being a Jew rises to high levels in the “World of Truth,” the spiritual realms where souls go when they exit the physical body. The suffering of Eyal, Naftali, and Gilad ended at the moment of death. Their luminous souls are enjoying the spiritual bliss reserved for those whose great feats in life or martyrs’ death has earned them closeness to God in the world of eternity.
And we, the families of the boys, their friends, their neighbors, and all of us, are left to suffer their loss, to mourn the tragedy of their young lives cut short. Our Bible tells us that there is, “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
Tisha B’Av came early this year. It is a time to weep and a time to mourn. But if we can only hold onto the unity we achieved in these 18 days, then in its merit the Redemption will come, and it will finally, finally, be a time to dance.
(20) Patty from Mexico, July 4, 2014 12:47 AM
Wise words and thoughts
Once again you enlightened and comforted us with your wise thoughts and words. Thank you very much, from one of the members of the Inner Circle, from Mexico City.
(19) Anonymous, July 3, 2014 12:50 PM
Great!
This is great! May we have peace soon! Thanks for your article :)
(18) April Sharrock, July 2, 2014 6:14 PM
Am Yisrael Chai
What a beautiful people is this Israel.
(17) Linda McKendry, July 2, 2014 5:14 PM
Comfort for the families
Dear families, our hearts go out to you on the tragic loss of your sons which seems useless and wasted. Our comfort for you is that we believe G-d sees all, knows all. Was Joseph's prayer answered? Like Joseph as he confessed to his brothers, "What you meant for evil, G-d will turn for good." We continue to trust Him for Israel's good. Amein.
(16) Anonymous, July 2, 2014 1:50 PM
When a nation cries out to G-d
Something has happened in the souls of Jewish people worldwide. An awakening of sorts that has not been seen in a long, long time. While the rest of the world has been distracted with the World Cup, Jews and Israelis have been in prayer and now mourning. I believe the Almighty is going to answer in an unprecedented way. I don't know how, but I do know He will answer and it will be very soon.
susan from Brazil, July 2, 2014 5:25 PM
You think we watched the world cup?
Mincha was exactly in the middle of the game when Brazil was playing in the world cup. My husband went to shul and he said the shul was full! Even down here, everyone was praying and praying . When you become SO spiritual from so much praying the world cup seems so silly.
sonia, July 2, 2014 11:22 PM
Sonia from Argentina
Yes, Argentine Jws watch the world cup... and pray. Just as Jews from Brazil, from Belgium, from USA and from any other country. Yes, sometimes the world cup distracts people for 90 minutes. And perhaps some other 90 minutes if their team won. And then they go on praying, and giving, and bonding with people in need.
(15) rivka, July 2, 2014 11:07 AM
Beautiful!!Thank you
(14) Malki, July 2, 2014 7:28 AM
Thank you.
You have done a great service to Am Yisrael by writing this article.
(13) Maria, July 2, 2014 2:47 AM
Thank you, Sara Yoheved. That paragraph where you explain the final destiny of the martyrs is very soothing; very needed at this time of suffering.You know, even through this searing pain, I never felt let down by Hashem. Somehow, I feel sustained and impelled to cleave more strongly to G-d and the Jewish People. As I said somewhere else, lets keep their light burning, lets commit more deeply to Israel and to tikun olam.
(12) Judith, July 1, 2014 10:34 PM
Prayers in Vain?
No, your prayers were not in vain. Your prayers were heard and the boys were discovered and that put closure for the waiting parents, family and friends. Not the results of being found alive waited for us. The boys are with Elohim now being restored for eternity.
(11) Yosefah, July 1, 2014 9:00 PM
Your words are beautiful, true and healing. May the Jewish people continue to be unified in strength and may we see Hashem's blessings only good. Am Yisrael Chai b'Shalom
(10) malka, July 1, 2014 7:00 PM
I pray that we hold on to this unity and Moshiach comes soon
(9) Anonymous, July 1, 2014 6:32 PM
Thank you for writing this
Your eloquence gives voice to the pain in our hearts, and begins to soften the stone of numbness and sorrow that has lodged there since hearing the terrible news yesterday, on the second day of Tamuz.
(8) Sruky, July 1, 2014 6:27 PM
It's all about the boys!
What does it matter if we all came together? We came together because we were in pain, and now we're in worse pain, but the boys are dead!! Who cares that we've come together, it's not time to be happy about that!
s, July 2, 2014 1:52 AM
We are not happy. We feel that by coming together, we lift their souls and bring blessing to them and blessing and strength to our nation. That's why this tragedy happened, we were divided. G-d wants us to be together. Sometimes, sadly it happens like this. But we shouldn't wait for tragedy. We should come together in pleasant times so we don't need a wake up come. We prayed but didn't receive the outcome we wanted. But our prayers are Not in vain. It will be used when we need it to help and protect us
(7) Daisy Harari Mayer, July 1, 2014 5:06 PM
The kidnapimg
It's time for the government of Israel to give the Hamas the obligation to go on TV and say stop kidnaping and stop kiling the Jews. It will be very hard for them and so,etching for us juwish, we mounts with the families all over the wold.
(6) Yaffa, July 1, 2014 3:40 PM
Disappointment, fear, anger And, Then Truth!
Hashem holds His children, even in the maze of our emotions. As we hold our crying upset, children in all kinds of hurt, disappointment, fear or just the to be close and held by the center / creator of their world, Hashem is holding and carrying us all. May you always feel H-s loving hold and soothing presence. My thoughts and prayers for the your families will be continual.
(5) SarahRachel, July 1, 2014 2:41 PM
Prayer is only half the effort needed
Why does Israel allow Ishmaelites, who are only in the land to murder all the Jewish inhabitants and take the land for themselves, to live there? Let alone allowing Jordan to control the Temple Mount. If the Jewish inhabitants have the ability to remove the Ishmaelites (who have been very clear in their intentions) but don't, how is prayer going to help? Israel is allowing and creating! -the conditions that made the kidnapping possible in the first place. Keep giving the land to the Ishmaelites, control of the Temple Mount, etc. I don't understand why G-d would do anything by cry upon hearing the prayers of such people.
Yehudith Shraga, July 3, 2014 12:49 PM
According to the Wisdom of the Sages Prayer is the last thing we have to do
The resolution of any situation comes according to the following order:1st we have to accept that it's sent to us by G-d for our spiritual growth.2nd-we have to find out the Torah ways for correcting it, and here your brave comment, dear Sarah Rachel, has a lot to learn from. All the time we aren't courageous to proclaim that the Land of Israel is promised to us by G-d as described in the Holy Torah and there is no place for any discussion, as well as there is the Only Place for the Holy Temple,which should be cleared, hopefully by the good will of those who holds It for their as well for the all creation's benefit.The Arabs should learn that they may live in our Land only if they are ready to obey the Law of the Holy Torah for non-Jews.
The 3rd and the last part of the work is the prayer for our efforts to be received and blessed by the Creator.
We're proud to say that our nation is great and outstanding, BUT we have still a lot to accomplish: We have to unite the Heaven and the Earth in the form of our State on the Land of Israel and to show the world that the Dreams of the Better World DO come true.
We have to speak out loud and explain the all the people, that the only form the humanity may survive and live together is the mutual respect, love and bestowing way of Life. All the time we think that this work may be done by UN or any other organization or that transfer may help, our destiny is in danger, and our prayers may only to be stored as a deposit for those who will be strong enough to act for the real benefit of the Jewish People and the rest of the Creation within the framework of the Torah.
I am sorry to admit, but very often we sound as if we are perfect already and those who agree with it are "good" and those who don't are "evil'. The Only Perfect is G-d, we are His People and we are here to fulfill His Will-to choose Life over death, which means to choose bestowing way of life over the Life at the expense of others!
(4) Deborah Schoen, July 1, 2014 2:35 PM
Thank you for this. I have been having a hard time with the murders, and was thinking the same thing.
(3) Anonymous, July 1, 2014 2:35 PM
What a nation...what a people...
...and across thw world a billion people like me, watching you weep together, are wishing we were Jewish...
(2) Susanne Simpson, July 1, 2014 2:02 PM
It was G-d's will
My heart is broken by the news. Yet even tho the world prayed for those young men. It was G-d's will, and his will be done.
Shalom
(1) Miriam Rothman, July 1, 2014 12:21 PM
We can always count on you Sara
Thank you for again helping us put into a Jewish perspective how to cope and understand the most difficult of circumstances.