A question that can help you gain insight into your patterns of being encouraged or being discouraged is: Who makes you feel encouraged? What do they say and do that you find helpful? Now think of someone who makes you (or has made you) feel discouraged. What was it about the way they spoke or acted that contributed to you feeling discouraged?

Recognizing the differences in styles, in words spoken, in attitudes conveyed, and other contributing factors can help you gain valuable insight. Each individual is unique and different. So you personally might find someone encouraging to you but another person might not find themselves encouraged by that same person. And someone who arouses your feelings of discouragement might help someone else feel encouraged by the same person, or by a similar situation.