If your spouse portrays a picture of him/herself more positively than you feel is accurate, accept it. Build upon it. It is frequently a mistake to try to demolish this picture. By building upon it, you create a more positive future reality.

People tend to act in ways that are consistent with their view of themselves. For example, your spouse might say, "I consider myself to be very considerate." Let's say you disagree and feel that your spouse has a long way to go to fit this picture. You would like your spouse to be more considerate, wouldn't you? Therefore, it is best to express gratitude for the consideration already displayed. By doing so you have a better chance of having a more considerate spouse. If you argue, there is a good chance you will end up in a no-win quarrel. Even if your spouse ends up agreeing with you, it is not likely that your approach will improve their character.