Friends & Acquaintances

It's no accident that the Hebrew word for friend means 'attachment' – because a real friend is bound to you through thick and thin.

Comments (13)

(13) Erwin Ancer, February 3, 2014 11:29 AM

Very true words

I got divorced two years ago...BH I don't have any kids. But I have found out people try to con you into thinking they are your friend where in reality they realy using you for their conversational piece. It happens especially in the frum community!! I have minimal friends mostly in South Africa where I came from.I live in Melbourne alone and find it difficult adapting to these people.We just aren't on the same level.
BTW I heard about your lectures in Joburg a few years back.Just by watching this video has given me insight to what it really means to be friends.I wish you much mazal with your lectures. I must also add that Aish do a fine job.Can't say much for Melbourne here though. Joburg most definitely so.

Erwin Ancer

(12) s, August 11, 2009 12:59 AM

Some people, like at college, we have an aquaintance friendship and that's it. However, my friends that I've become close to over the years are my true friends, BH It's nice to have both aquaintances and friends. We should all have at least one close friend thouigh. I agree that a true friend helps us to improve and grow

(11) Leah, January 19, 2009 10:37 AM

One of the important lessons I have tried to teach my children

I have tried to instill in my children the idea that you only need a few true Friends who you would trust with anything & the rest are on a different level.In making his wedding list my son called his friends by Tier 1, Tier 2, Tier 3 etc.We go to weddings where there are 600 guests.Are they all your friends? After family & a short list of good friends the majority are aquaintances from shul, schools & the block.There are times when an aquaintance comes through for you & becomes a true friend.Thank you for always being right on the mark.

(10) SusanE, January 18, 2009 2:38 AM

Friends and Acquaintances

Thank You Lori, for another important article. When my Dad died 15 years ago, his friend, was outstanding. Towards the end of Dads illness his friend took off work and spent time at the hospital with him and arranged for other friends of his to come at intervals so not to tire him too much. He asked what he could do to help after Dad died and was there helping to arrange the funeral. He spent time at the house with our very small family and still continues to be a friend to us and to Dads memory. I wrote him that our lives can be measured by who our friends are, and that my father was surely blessed having him as a friend. Acquaintances are friends by circumstance. We have lots of acquaintances, many that I really appreciate. I think that acquaintances are sent in and out of our lives when we need them and when they need us. When that need is filled, we and they move on. I think we have all learned and been helped much from our acquaintances. They allow us to have a give and take. Now that I am older, I can count probably 4 friends. All are from early years. They KNOW me and I Know them. Safely and surely. We will always be friends because somehow we are connected. Thanks again Lori for making us become aware of how G-d helps us grow everyday, through our friends and aquaintances.

(9) katy, January 15, 2009 9:32 PM

defining friendship

it depends how you define friendship. there are different levels of friendship with people who may be more than just an acquaintance. acquaintance sounds cold and uncaring. i define acquaintances as people who come in and out of your life on a superficial or service-orientated level, e.g. a temporary client or a someone who serves you every day in a store or in your building. yes, circumstances do change -that is life, but friendships don't have to last forever and it doesn't mean you were never friends.

(8) Anonymous, January 15, 2009 10:32 AM


(7) Sheila Mills, January 14, 2009 10:58 AM

Being a true friend takes work, a consious effort and often a guide to show you the way. And this, of course, is your true friend.

(6) Anonymous, January 14, 2009 8:55 AM


Lori- I watch all your videos and have a tremendous amount of respect for you and what you stand for. On a separate note- one of your videos said never to divorce until you turn green. well I need some advice. What if you are married to a wonderful person ( caring and loving ) - BUT- there is no attraction ( or very little )- this is my second marriage..and I think I jumped into to this without thinking- I feel stuck- she treats me well, has a lot of rspect for me..but i cannot get passed the ATTRACTION ( by the way - I am 50 and she is 48 )- NEED SOME GREAT ADVICE!!

(5) Eric Salem, January 13, 2009 6:53 PM

What an effective speech!

The difference between a friend and an acquaintance was clearly defined in this video speech. I thought that your co-workers could be your friends but they aren't. These people are your acquaintances, people of circumstance, a temporary bond. Friends on the other hand stick by you, even if you mess up. They will point out to you what you did wrong and even if it's something that you don't want to hear, they will let you know about it. Sometimes friends will give tough love. Tough love hurts but the message they are giving you will be most effective. Think about it, friends can also be your girlfriend or boyfriend and wife or husband. Therapists (psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers) and spiritual leaders (rabbis and cantors) can also be your friends, depending on how well you get to know them and vise versa. This was a very good speech as it brought up points to ponder.

(4) linda llewellyn, January 13, 2009 4:34 PM


It is nice to have friends especially when times are hard and they stick with you through thick and thin and don't give up on you and sharing the good times too.

(3) ruth housman, January 13, 2009 2:57 PM

love and friendship

I believe deeply, that good friendships should survive the test of time. Sadly, sometimes this does not happen, and people we thought were our very soul mates, fall by the wayside and I know how hard I have tried to find out the "rend" in that friendship, how it happened that something so important fell apart. I think we can try, can ask forgiveness, say we are sorry, but sometimes there is a deep mystery to these falling outs. This forces us to review our lives, our assumptions and we do feel hurt. I believe so strongly in the message of The Book of Ruth which bears my name because surely it's about friendship, and love. I think it beautiful that this is the book in which the lineage is given of the Messiah, because surely, ultimately, whether we believe or do not believe, it's so appropriate that words about love are contained in a book that is so much about the truth of this Biblical story.

(2) Jodi Gross, January 12, 2009 1:14 PM

Dr. Joe Schwartz Z"L We will miss him on this earth. An incredibly wonderful person. I guess HaShem needed him to do some very important things in Shamayim. He was a "do-er" in this world, and he will be a "do-er" in Olam HaBa. W

May HaShem bless and comfort the incredible Schwartz Family (Rachel and Yitzchok Seligman) on the loss of their dear father and husband Dr. Joel Schwartz. We loved him so much and his death will be a great loss to us personally and to the Jewish world and the world at large. G-d bless you Shelly and your marvelous children.

(1) Moshe Rosen, January 11, 2009 9:12 AM

friendships in person and online

That's true that friendships tend to last longer than many relationships. As long as we can spend time with them at least once a month, or in the very least, chat with them online thru instant message or Facebook. It may not necessarily be a lack of a social life to contact friends via the Internet, so as long as one has already met them in real life. After all, G-d gives us tools to connect with our social networks.


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