Three Tips on Raising Teenagers

Feel their pain, don’t ride their drama, it’s not going to last.

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Comments (6)

(6) Yehoshua O. Bresler, September 7, 2014 5:22 PM

I loved being a teenager

Your negative description of one's teenagers sure doesn't fit my experience. I view it as a blast off to greatness. It's the time of life that one discovers himself. Works to strive to achieve to his fullest. For decades I labeled myself a 16 year old with experience.

(5) Anonymous, May 2, 2013 3:14 PM

WOW - this is SO true!

As the parent of a teenage girl and pre-teen boy, I found this SO true that Lori could have been in my house! They are indeed in transit, sometimes still a little kid and sometimes so grown up; their minds and emotions have not yet caught up to their bodies. The most useful advice will be not riding their emotional roller coaster - it is so hard not to respond in kind when my daughter goes over the top on something I think is insignificant, but obviously is not for her. My (ideal) technique is to take a big breath and say to myself "this too shall pass"!

(4) Ayalah Haas, January 24, 2013 8:14 AM

I Need to Memorize This Video

Wow - what great advice, and said so concisely. Thank you! All of my children are still in the single-digit ages, so I will have to remember your three fundamental rules and just hang in there.

(3) Leah, January 22, 2013 7:19 PM

Don't sweat the small stuff

Choose your battles and don't sweat the small stuff but most of all, when your teenager yells at you "fine, if you don't love me I'll run away!" (and many of them will do this at least once in their teen years) and you're tempted to yell back "fine I'll help you pack!" STOP, take a deep breath, wrap your arms around them and say "but if you run away I'll miss you because I love you so much". There are hundreds of 'throw-away' teens on the street whose parents could not bring themselves to utter those three little words "I love you" when their teen needed to hear it the most. They just want to know we love them, they need to know. Is that so hard to do?

(2) Harry Pearle, January 20, 2013 6:24 PM

RX 4 Restlessness Teens: Repeated WORK/PRACTICE/DAVENING?

I never had kids, but it seems to be that the "rolled coaster" mood swings of teenagers may be due, in part, to a lack of repetitious work and practice. Until modern times young people had to participate fullly in the work effort and work practice, from an early age. Now, we postpone work until after college........But this does not have to be. The impulsiveness and lack of fulfillment may be overcome, at any age, with some repetitive work, practice and even with davening....Joggers are out in the streets, now, with the pulse of flashing lights. I do routine cleaning at my Shul, each week and it helps me to overcome my own ups and owns at age 71. Perhaps Lori could address this idea. THANKS

(1) Alan S., January 20, 2013 11:29 AM

Little children, little problems; big children, big problems.

Excellent commentary with smart advice. In today's day and times, the real issue is when the problems of the teen age years continue into the child's twenties. The teenagers of yesterday were, generally speaking, out of their parent's homes and hair by their early twenties and early mid-twenties. That generation were often just starting or training for their careers. Nowdays, the same angst that happens to children in their later teen years often continues into their late twenties and early thirties. These problems are much more difficult and expensive to try and put under the carpet.


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