Re: The father who bailed his son out financially. Asking a parent for financial help is NOT an easy thing to do. Perhaps this father gave his son a big lecture on fiscal responsibility, as the check was being written. I once knew a woman who asked her very wealthy mother for financial help, as she was having a hard time. (Believe me, the woman of whom I am speaking was not going out on wild spending sprees). The wealthy parent turned my friend down, saying: "That's not my policy, but I will get you tickets to a Broadway show." Yes, we need to use our sensitivity and good judgment before attempting to help someone else out. However, holding a door open for someone really is a random act IMO.

I have posted the message below to more than 500 email addresses and more than 200 poets. Wouldn’t a kindness break through in 2012 be wonderful? Please forward the message below to as many people as you can. Thanks in advance Kindness revolution It started as a dream Slowly it became a belief A kindness revolution We can start a chain of small kindness that will change the world One kindness leading to ten other kindnesses and then in turn to ten others Can you imagine the snowball effect? Can you imagine how greed could be replaced by kindness? Let us make it a reality all together Can read the dream in Y.. Poetry and History (http: //www.poemhunter.com/poem/y-poetry-and-history/) How can we make it happen? How can we all be part of it? 1. Perform a hundred random kind acts in the month of May 2012 2. If many do 1. Soon the effects will snowball 3. Get this message on the mail or facebook and make sure all your friends read it 4. Write a poem on kindness and provide it or the link at the bottom of this message Thanks in advance and best regards Hans Here is one poem to start with: Speck of significance In the universe, a human so small, Looking just like a speck of dust But born with a mind and a soul And able to think, love and trust. Many think that as a human, just one Not a positive change can be made, nothing great What could a good deed selflessly done Ever mean in a world full of hate? But if a butterfly in India, flapping its wings could cause a storm over the Atlantic Just see how one of the small insignificant things Can have an effect, so gigantic Then why would your simple random kind act Just by chance or by divine intervention Not snowball and have a huge impact, Perhaps a kindness revolt of enormous dimension So in each of our lives we must Make a choice of incredible importance Do we want to be just a speck of dust Or a speck of significance. (Author: Aufie Zophy)

The Word random here means what you do (the act) is random...not the frequency of the act. It means that if you give someone a hug today, tomorrow you help an old lady cross the street and the next you buy someone milk or sumthing. "Acts of kindness, no matter how small, are never wasted."~ Aesop

How about "Practice Thoughtful Acts of Kindness"? or "Practice Mindful Acts of Kindness".
Actually, I prefer "Seek Out Acts Of Kindness ... and Perform Them".

I am sure that you think you make sense and of course you will defend your position out of pure pride but come on, how on earth can you possibly think you have a decent argument here. Yes, maybe some will be offended by something, but the vast majority will be blessed.

Have you ever tried something like this before? It's really not so bad, and it helps bring the world what it really needs nowadays- in the words of the Chafetz Chaim: 'Ahavas Chesed'

dude chill out, if someone wants to do some random act of kindness thats great:) everyone likes to have something nice done for them. Once i paid the fare in a toll booth for the person behind me, i didnt know them, they didnt know me but it made me happy and maybe the appreciated it and did it for someone else, maybe more ppl will do these things and maybe some random act kindness will happen to u

Keep your new bumper sticker.
Lighten up.
Have a nice day.

I need to know who did it, when it was done, were it was done, why it was done, and what was done.

Great!

I think you have taken the meaning of Random Acts of Kindness way too seriously and way, way out of context. I also seriously (and hopefully)doubt that traditional Judaism (or any religion, for that matter) frowns upon these acts, as long as they are not the only form of kind acts someone practices. It goes without saying that large problems warrant thought and planning to solve; I don't think anyone is advocating bailing someone out of debt on a whim. I also don't think that would be thought of as a random act. There are all levels of kindnesses; some are large and require evaluation and strategy, while others can be small and more spontaneous. This latter kind is what is widely thought of as "random". If you are faced with a rude clerk at a store, for example, it doesn't take intense thought to decide to smile and be friendly to him rather than being rude in return. Just by doing this the clerk might begin to feel better and change his attitude. This is what is meant by random acts of kindness - all the little things we can, but often don't, do each day to make someone's life a little better. There is no limit to how many ways or times we can touch people's lives in some small way, every day. We need more random acts of kindness because not everything in life is planned.

We dont need that bumper sticker, (Practice Strategically Planned and Well-Considered Acts of Kindness) its just stupid and doesn't really make sense!! Why would we Strategically plan acts of kindness. If you think about it would anyone actually take the time to sit down and think about...should I help them or can it "Wind up doing more harm than good?" Seriously, when you do something kind for someone chances are that its not going to backfire and be totally and completely horrible. It will probably make them feel good and they will pass on the kindness throughout the day, and who knows maybe it will get back around to you sometime. I think everyone likes when something kind is done for them. Ok say your car breaks down on the side of the road wouldn't you want someone to help you out? Even if all they do is call someone to help it would still make a difference!! I am sure this next one has happened to a lot of people, your paying for something at a store and you're short a couple pennies so the cashier says its alright and takes care of it themselves or someone behind you gives you a couple of pennies. These kind of people are needed in the world. As you can see no one would plan helping someone out. Just about everyone would just do it spontaneously/randomly. Most things in life come at you fast so you need to act fast not wait a few minutes, or else the opportunity may diminish

In fact, it's not random acts of kindness, the correct quote is, "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty."

You've obviously never been waited on by a cranky cashier, had a grocery cart in a parking lot ram your car because someone didn't return it to the stall, tried to merge on the highway and no one would let you in, tried to get through a door with your hands full, had a driver honk impatiently when you were trying to cross a street, had some worker whistle when you were out enjoying the sun on your lunch break, needed a neighbor to drop off or pick up your kids when you were sick, or asked someone to change seats on a plane so you could sit by your friend or husband. Because I'm sure that if you had, you would realize that random kindess is exactly what the world needs more of.

Kindness isn't necessarily big or dramatic. It's a smile, a friendly wave, a few words of encouragement. It's letting someone merge on the highway or helping an elderly person across a street. You don't have to be rich or have unlimited amounts of free time. You don't have to spend hours analyzing, strategizing and planning. Kindness is being friendly. Practicing random kindness is holding the door for someone behind you or giving a quarter to the cashier when the person ahead of you in line finds they are short. As Leo Buscaglia says, "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt." You can take those opportunities each day or you can think up excuses.

Isn't there a story about one of the Talmudic sages who suffered a terrible punishment because he made a pauper wait for a handout (in the meantime the pauper died). Actually, I think the sage
requested the punishment after he realized how wrong he was.
It is Hashem's job to "teach lessons" and give "kicks in the pants". He is all-knowing and all-powerful and we are not.

Common sense must go along with charity. For example, I saw a man panhandling. Giving him money might simply have compounded drug or alcohol addiction. Instead, I asked what food he wanted and went to a nearby store and got him two slices of pizza. That has to help, food cannot be misused. Likewise, check with a charity monitoring group about amounts spent on fund-raising and staff, instead of help.

Spontaneous, random acts of kindness when the opportunity presents itself and the well thought-out kindness when there is time to think and consider.

I take issue with your comment about visiting the sick. You said,"If it is about you, stay home."

My dearest friend in the world suffers from a chronic illness that has landed her in the hospital a few times. During these hospitalizations, I have cared for her children, visited her numerous times and run to the hospital at odd hours when she needed something. There have also been times when I needed to stop by and visit her ... because I wanted to just for me ... I needed to check in and see how she was. These were some of the best visits as I would often get there and find that she needed something else that I could help with.

If I had been deterred by the fact that my motivation was my own need to "check in" then wonderful mitzva opportunities would have been lost.

In other instances let's not lose sight of the opportunity to cultivate shelo lishma into lishma.

Of course, overall I agree with your article that our living should be quite intentional! Thank you for the many insights you have given me through all your articles.

What a disappointing view of "Random acts of kindness". I look on these acts as: opening a door for someone, letting that car in line in front of you; treating someone to a friendly smile and a kind word. Such little acts that take such a little time to perform. Our lives are so frantic and fast and often so self centered that that we miss the hundreds of times a day G d gives us the opportunities to see the need to perform these "Random Acts of Kindness"

Withholding money is not a kick in the pants. It uses natural consequences to teach a lesson. Isn't this different from a kick which would only engender anger?

Because my husband and I agree wholeheartedly with the essence of your article, we have already created a bumper sticker that reads, "Practice intentional acts of chesed," available to individuals and organizations for fund-raising purposes. The issue is, of course, like all mitzvot, not whether we get warm fuzzies out of the mitzvah, but intentionally fulfilling the mitzvah because that's how G-d wants us to live our lives. Rather than the cafeteria style pick and choose aspects of many other traditions, there's a fixed menu in torah observant Judaism which directs our spiritual diet in order to enhance our spiritual health. Ours is not a tradition of “If it feels good do it.” Ours is a tradition of whether or not this has deep meaning to us at this moment, our job is to fulfill that which our Creator desires from us in order to forge and ever closer bond. As in any relationship, it’s not getting what we want that strengthens our connection to the other. It’s giving to the other that which is important to him/her in order to create the depth of connection that we strive for. In practicing intentional acts of chesed, rather than random acts of kindness, we move ever closer the light unto the nations that G-d has chosen us to be.

I have no doubt that Ms. Braverman meant well, but really-lighten up! This is what happens when one is stuck in traffic staring at someone else's bumper sticker for too long!
I would imagine that was what inspired a more light-hearted response to one of those "opinion" stickers. Remember the one that summed up the driver's viewpoint with "Visualize World Peace"? I still chuckle when I see it's homonymous spin-off "Visualize Whirled Peas".
Seriously, I doubt whether anyone who bothers to sit and ponder the deeper meanings of bumper stickers would also be so shallow as to believe that "random acts" implies sloppy insincerity. Rather, those of us who agree with the concept understand that, in these stressed-out times that we live in, it is the small token acts of kindness, where nothing in return stands to be gained, that bring a little light into the world.
Unfortunately, the article does sound a little Scroogey to me, and not very much like what I have learned about traditional Judaism so far... Thank goodness, I think it is really only a case of what I first suspected...too much time in gridlock for the author. May I humbly suggest she pop in a handy Aish-tape next time, and occupy her mind with some of the more positive teachings of Judaism!
Maybe she'll soon be able to discern that people who engage in these random acts are indeed looking to gain something for themselves...but it's not money or recognition. It is spiritual elevation and enlightenment!
Something which, if I'm not mistaken, traditional Judaism does promote!

While I do appreciate your interpretaion of the bumper sticker phrase referring to "random acts of kindness". I see this idea from a different perspective.

As the Torah teaches, we don't give tzedakka because we belive it is the right thing to do - we give tzaddak because the Torah says so...Torah Deut. 15:9-11.

One can make any argument they want in how it shall be done...with a full heart, for the wrong reasons - I have enough and should share, etc..

If we wait to plan the right time with the right kavana with the "right" reasons and when we feel it appropriate, it is very possible our actions may come later than actually needed.

I suppose this reflects the axiom of putting the cart before the horse. A random act of kindness at the very moment it is needed may save someone discomfort, anxiety, stress, while we are deciding if it is the right time and place. I happen to believe that random acts done spontaneously more often have the power to be even more powerful than a planned act as with it comes the timely deed AND a direct message from the heart.

I think that although you may be right that radnom acts of kindess may be not to benefical, but they are neccesary. For example your friend went into debt and his father paid it for him . You can't expect the father to sit back and watch his son's life go down the drain just to teach him the meaning of responsibilty!! If a person feels like he is doing nothing for other people and he/she decides to visit a sick person that day, i would say that is kindness in its fullest.I think that kindness in most cases ( except for the rare few) is a good thing... random or not.

Can I have it in French?
Thanks

thank you for great wisdoms

I would love to have one of your bumper stickers , It just might catch on and our children of today could learn a good lesson by reading it and asking questions.

Random acts of kindness can be something as simple as not cutting someone off in traffic or butting in front of people in a line, or making a clerk's or wait person's life more stressful with tacky unecessary negative comments. So I would encourage EVERYONE to practice random acts of kindness as they are the hardest to do. Well thought out acts of kindness are much easier.

My understanding of this bumper sticker is that kind acts should take place for unexpected as well as expected opportunities.

Yes, the bumper sticker would make some folks think. Of course, that alone might hurt them (having to think, that is).

I'm one of those people who will give a "will work for food" people a buck whenever I see them. True, most of the beggars might be phoneys as we all know. But in thinking "Strategically" one never knows if the person is truly needy. So I'd rather give to ten phoneys rather than pass up one genuine person in need.

Would our father Abraham have done any differently?

Quakers speak of Random Acts of Kindness as those extraordinary things you would not normally do.

I know a headmaster of a Quaker School who once paid the bridge fare for the car behind him instead of taking his change - a random act of kindness to be sure. When he told his family about it at dinner, his son said he was foolish;his son was sure the toll taker would have pocketed the money. The man later met that person at a party-he knew him because the man was telling the story about someone paying his toll on the bridge.

No moral, just a nice deed that cheered up someone else's day.

The problem is, is that sometimes you do'nt know what someone's situation really is, or how it came about. You have to make a judgement and if your going to make an error in judgment, it should always be on the side of compassion

I Loved this article, and if you really do print your bumper sticker, I want to know how to order one. Thanks!

"Practice Strategically planned and Well-Considered Acts of Kindness. Not so catchy,but ultimately more effective. Anybody want one?

By the time you have done all this the begger on the street, with his hand out, will be dead.