Dr. Edith Eva Eger survived hell on earth. At age 16, she and her family were sent to Auschwitz. She is now 93 and a practicing psychotherapist specializing in treating trauma. She wrote her first book, The Choice, at the age of 91, and just released her second book, The Gift. These life-affirming books are filled with her wisdom about how to live our lives more fully.
1. You don’t have crises; you have challenges. Dr Eger describes life as filled with suffering and struggle. Each challenge provides a chance to find hope in hopelessness. Every struggle is a gift, an opportunity to find light in the darkness. Dr. Eger states that, “My suffering made me stronger.”
2. You always have choices. It is not what happens to you that is important; it is what you do with what happens to you. Life is difficult. “I will never forget what happened to me,” she shared, “I came to terms with it. I call it my cherished wound.” Life is a choice. It is much easier to die but, “I choose to live.”
3. Live fully today. “I don’t take anything for granted. I have this one life to live and you don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.” She describes life as being like one long day. “The morning sunshine isn’t coming back, so celebrate each moment.” Each second is precious.
4. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Your thoughts have the ability to create your realityso be selective. Re-orienting your thoughts can impact how our lives play out since, “If you change your thinking, you change your life.” This was a lesson her mother taught her as they were being transported in the cattle cars to the death camp. Her mother told her, “No-one can take away from you what you put in your own mind.”
5. The opposite of depression is expression, because what comes out of your bodies cannot make you ill. Dr. Eger spoke about the importance of feeling your feelings, that all our feelings are legitimate, and that there are no right or wrong emotions. “You can’t heal what you don’t feel,” so “Have a good cry. Go to the ocean and scream, or scream in the car and then laugh like a hyena.” She guarantees that grieving, feeling, and healing will make you feel better. Furthermore “My God gives me permission to feel any feelings without the fear of being judged.
6. Love yourself and take care of yourself. Dr. Eger believes that we are born with love and with passion. However, throughout life we learn to hate and we learn the, ’us and them,’ mentality. “No one can replace you, so love yourself fully,” she advises. “When you get up in the morning do you look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you’?” Give up the need for approval and don’t let others bring you down.
7. Be selective with your anger. Dr. Eger pointed out, “Once you get angry you give your power away. When you are angry you can’t hear you. I’m very selective with who gets my anger. Dissolve the anger; it is inconvenient, and I don’t like it. We must keep on walking.”
8. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. “There is no forgiveness without rage.” Only God has the power to forgive. “I don’t have Godly powers,” she says. “Only God has the last word. I see forgiveness as a gift I give to me that I don’t carry. Forgiveness gives you ultimate spiritual freedom.”
9. God is always present. Dr. Eger says, “I found God in Auschwitz. My God was always with me. God told me that everything is temporary, nothing is permanent.” Furthermore, “God has a plan for me, not only to survive but to guide other people and to be useful to them. My God is full of hope, full of light, full of love, and full of compassion.”
10. Don’t give up. Dr. Eger describes herself as a woman of strength who is strong because of her Jewish identity. “We Jews never give up. My ancestors survived the desert and the Holocaust, so I say, ‘Keep climbing the mountain and don’t ever stop.’” Her life affirming mantra is, “Yes I am, Yes I can, and Yes I will.” After a lifetime of scaling the mountain Dr. Eger is still climbing, still giving to others, still trying to make the world a better place and still filled with curiosity about what will happen next.
My conversation with Dr. Eger left me changed and inspired. If you’d like to listen to the recording please email me at coreconnectsRI@gmail.com.
(20) Anonymous, January 3, 2021 9:22 AM
Words of wisdom!
Excellent
(19) Ari, December 28, 2020 12:23 AM
Amen and excellent! :)
(18) Anonymous, December 27, 2020 12:57 AM
Inspiring
Definitely inspiring and was touched by the courage and gift you have .Positive and full of compassion with great healing message for those struggling. Appreciate the light from HaShem for both non-Jews and Jews.
(17) Gene Gee, December 26, 2020 1:56 AM
Incredible wisdom. Undeniable truth.
Thank you.
(16) Anonymous, December 25, 2020 2:27 PM
Dr. Eger’s book was beautiful.
As a child of Holocaust survivors, I sound Dr. Eger’s book very inspiring.
(15) Carol Kaplan, December 24, 2020 6:22 PM
Attention must be paid.
These ten guidelines are profoundly helpful, and thinking about each one is useful. In my experience, I find active attention is key. In practice, it takes a willing mind set.
(14) Sylvia Sheena, December 24, 2020 11:05 AM
Amazing
You truly are a great role mode to the world and May Hashem bless you amen and amen.
(13) Lauren Shaps, December 23, 2020 4:15 PM
wow!
Such powerful messages! Thank you for sharing them with all of us!
(12) Dorit, December 23, 2020 7:49 AM
Super....amazing...
Wow This article has just come on time... I loved it. Inspiring. Thanks
(11) Tanya Freedman, December 23, 2020 4:18 AM
Amazing interview with an incredible woman!
My mentor mentioned your incredible interview. Had to thank you so much for this life changing experience.
(10) Deborah L Gilden, December 23, 2020 12:03 AM
great summary; great program
Thank you Elissa Felder for introducing us to Dr. Eger as well as writing this very useful summary of her presentation.
(9) Barbara Franks, December 22, 2020 2:16 AM
Never Give Up!
Inspiring and uplifting person of valor! I love ❤️ That she wrote her first book at age 91. Definitely confirmed a lot of my thoughts...thank you?
(8) Havivah, December 21, 2020 5:17 PM
Inspiring
Dr Ever gives us chizuk and chachma Thank you for sharing her world Yasher Koach
(7) Maria Dodoc, December 21, 2020 8:39 AM
Thank You
(6) D.M., December 20, 2020 5:42 PM
So so inspiring!!
Tears are rolling down my face. I needed to hear this so so badly. I am in awe, and this is full of life-changing wisdom. Thank you!
(5) David, December 20, 2020 4:22 PM
Thanks. Yasher koach.
What inspiration! What wisdom. Thanks so much for introducing me to Dr. Eger's story and guidance. I just ordered her most recent book, The Gift.
(4) Nancy, December 20, 2020 3:28 PM
It is so great to “see” you Elissa!
Being able to let go and forgive is crucial to one’s mental health. This skill as well as the others brings hope to my life.
(3) Anonymous, December 20, 2020 3:07 PM
It’s all in her book!
It’s all in her short, internationally best selling new book entitled, “The Gift.” Indeed it is! Plus so much more.
(2) Malka Aryeh, December 20, 2020 3:06 PM
What a lady! What wisdom! What a Queen!
What a lady! What wisdom! What a Queen!!!!
(1) Lisa, December 20, 2020 1:16 PM
WOW
If we can all live by these 10... what a life we would have... I’m going to try‼️
Anonymous, December 20, 2020 10:12 PM
Yoda
As Yoda said "Do or not Do. There is no Try."