How Can You Command Someone to Love?

Focusing on a person's strengths and virtues naturally engenders feelings of warmth and love.

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Comments (9)

(6) Bracha Goetz, August 27, 2021 10:52 PM

Great ! And great insight about scrolls, Harry Pearle!

(5) Michael Wilks, August 26, 2021 9:45 PM

that's called cupboard love!


(4) Jewish Mom, August 26, 2021 1:26 PM

Other commandments to love

Besides for loving Hashem, we are also commanded "Ve'ahavta lerei'acha kamocha" - loving one's fellow Jew as oneself, as well as "Ve'ahavta es ha'ger" - loving the convert.
Rabbi E.E. Dessler's famous essay suggests that the most basic love one has is of oneself. By giving to another, you invest a piece of yourself in that other and come to view him/her as part of yourself. Bottom line - love is a verb that means give and thereby come to love.
The verse that commands us to love the convert continues that we should love him/her because we, ourselves, were strangers in the land of Eqypt. Similar to Rav Dessler's idea of seeing oneself in another, this is another way to see oneself in another and thereby come to love: by identifying with the other person's struggles in a way that should arouse respect, sensitivity and empathy for their challenges and courage.
Shana tova to everyone - כתיבה וחתימה טובה!

(3) Dori Berger, August 25, 2021 5:33 PM

Many meanings of "Love"

The word "Love" is used in so many ways that it is essential when discussing the subject to mention that there are endless levels of that emotion. The difference, for instance, between "Love" and "Like". The difference between "Love Passion" and "Love" as a signoff comment. When a parent says to a child, "I love you" is that the same as that parent saying to he spouse "I love you" ? In other words, using the word "Love" needs definition and meaning. Loving Vanilla Ice Cream is not the same as Loving a silk blouse. Enough said.

(2) Harry Pearle, August 25, 2021 3:46 PM

WALK Your TALK (Torah Scroll Lesson?) BSEDER TNX MCH!

Dear Rabbi Sytner, thanks so much for the lesson, in loving and living..

I noticed you walking in a park area.
This reminds me of an idea that just came to me on Torah and on life.

Why is it that we read the Torah from a SCROLL, not from a book, with pages?
Yes, that is the Tradition. But when we read a scroll, we read in order, BSEDER.
We can not easily jump around with a scroll, the way we can with a book.

This might remind us that LIFE, itself UNFOLDS, in time, in order.
This, we can try to look forward, happily, to what is to come, with TIME.
(The word TIME, spelled backwards, is EMIT. With time, events unfold)

Today, with the media, we jump around, bounce around.
But can we be more patient, and grateful for what unfolds, in time?

GOOD YEAR and much thanks Harry in Rochester NY

(1) Nancy, August 25, 2021 2:38 PM

Love or hakaras hatov?

That is my question.

rabbi sytner, August 25, 2021 5:54 PM

Both :)


Jewish Mom, August 26, 2021 1:17 PM

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto's suggestion

Rabbi M.C. Luzzatto suggests that to around love of G-d, one should contemplate how great He is, how miniscule we are in comparison, and how much good and blessing He showers upon us. The Chofetz Chaim suggests bearing this thought in mind when saying "Ve'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha". From experience, it does help around feelings of love AND hakaras hatov.

Jewish Mom, August 26, 2021 5:02 PM

Sorry for the typo

" arouse love of G-d"


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