Four weeks ago I was in the middle of a conversation when my left ear became a little clogged. I opened my mouth wide, swallowed, pinched my nose and blew out, trying to unclog it. Nothing. “Hmm, that’s strange,” I said to myself.
Two weeks of Prednisone, then a week of steroid injections directly into the ear while staying in the hospital, and then a week of home recovery, and there’s been no change, no improvement, no nothing.
The doctors are a little baffled. Sudden Hearing Loss is not as uncommon as you might think and they’re not sure of the cause. The steroids are a shot in the dark; only about a third of patients regain hearing from the treatment.
So the summer of 2017 has become the summer of my hearing loss. The summer I had to stop working out for three-plus weeks because resting is a major component of the treatment as well. It has also become the summer I’ve learned some important things.
I learned that the people of my community are caring, kind, and giving. Friends and acquaintances didn’t just ask what they could do. They did. My family had food brought to our door; I had books and treats delivered to the hospital; and visitors surprised me morning, noon, and night. I got countless WhatsApp messages, phone calls wishing me well and thoughtful gifts from abroad.
One woman – I’ll call her Claire – is a friend who’d gone through this a few years ago but had the good fortune to have her hearing restored. Claire continued to check up on me, came to visit in the hospital (a good 40 minutes from home), and regaled me with crazy stories that had me laughing. She then invited me over for coffee when I got home.
I’ve been working on bringing God into my life more, and since all this rest brought me extra time on my hands, I decided to watch some uplifting Torah lectures and rediscovered the joys of learning Torah.
In one of the lectures Paysach Krohn said something that applied to what I was going through and will stay with me for a long time.
He spoke about Chesley Sullenberger, the pilot who successfully landed his plane on the Hudson River, saving all those on board. Mr. Sullenberger, he explained, had lost his father when he was a young man, and the loss was devastating to him. He’d vowed to himself to try and keep others from that kind of pain. So when it came time to land a plane on the Hudson – a near-impossible feat – the loss of his father kept him focused. Sullenberger was responsible for the lives of 155 people on that plane and couldn’t bear the thought of all those who would mourn for them, as he’d had to mourn for his father.
This is what it means, Rabbi Krohn explained, to truly give back. When you’ve gone through a hardship and you reach out to others so that they don’t have to go through the same, or when you help alleviate the pain for those who are going through the same – that is a deep chesed, a kindness that makes such a difference.
I can look at the overwhelming blessings in my life and focus on the good, while dealing with the loss.
I thought of my friends and family. They hadn’t gone through the same experience but they certainly know what hardship feels like. They know that being alone can feel scary. With their constant WhatsApp messages, phone calls, visits, and unexpected gifts, I had a support system that reached half-way around the globe.
And I thought of Claire. She had gone through the same thing years prior, and remembered. I knew she was in my corner.
Today, in fact, I paid it forward just a little. I know what it’s like to work hard and get little thanks. So after my follow-up hearing test at the hospital this morning, I visited the ward where I’d stayed and brought the nurses a bowl of candies. “Thank you for all you did,” I said. It felt so good.
The hearing in my left ear hasn’t come back. And the chances that it will are slim, now that so much time has passed without any change. Sudden Hearing Loss is just that – a loss. I mourned for a bit, knowing I might never hear the same way again. But with all that has happened in the last month, I can look at the overwhelming blessings in my life and focus on the good, while dealing with the loss.
I’ve decided that the summer of 2017 won’t simply be “the summer of my hearing loss.” I’m determined to remember this time as one of chesed, kindness, and empathy.
(16) Anonymous, August 18, 2017 8:26 PM
Your story reminded me of mine
I went through something similar and it has changed my life for the worse in too many respects to count. I will try to prevent this from happening to others even more now that I have read this article.
(15) Anonymous, August 18, 2017 8:36 AM
reading Aish at 3 AM
Yesterday I had surgery. It is 3 AM and I am up waiting to take my next dose of pain meds. I has SSNHL 7 years ago and just had my cochlear implant placed in my left ear about 18 hours ago. Tinnitus is my constant companion, and I often miss out on lot's of conversation (especially in noisy rooms) but I have also seen how this has changed me for the better.
It seems like you got great care there and I wish you a refuah shelaima as I know people who have had their hearing restored even months later.
Mine is 7 years and I am looking forward to being able to hear the shofar again with my left ear ( now aided with an implant) on Rosh Hashanah. I HOPE YOU WILL TOO
(14) Judy, August 17, 2017 7:35 PM
so beautifully written
I guess you can replace 'hearing' with any loss of function. It can happen to anyone. But you have shown the positive side of it, and what you have learnt. I bet you're generally an up-beat kind of person.
(13) Rella, August 16, 2017 2:36 PM
Kidos
Love your final note: you are choosing to remember the positive aspect of this event Much strength to you, Pam
(12) Leonard, August 15, 2017 8:40 AM
Sounds like my story
Thank you for sharing this! This sounds like my story. Some ten years ago I felt pain in my left ear and suddenly lost learning in the ear next day. Completely! It has taken time to adjust, but I have a normal life today - despite tinnitus and being half deaf.
Greetings from Poland!
(11) sonia, August 14, 2017 11:08 PM
I had hearing loss too
I had a sudden hearing loss after a tooth implant. Dentists say there is no realtion, but both things happened too close. I got deaf from left ear, vertigo, vomits, nearly a year passed and was getting worse.Saw every ear doctor in my town, since I would soon get to stop work if vertigo increased.Not by chance I recieved a visit from a friend from Israel, I told her my problem and she said "I know the doctor who can heal you" 300 km from home.The doctor, a simple kind hearted ORL, gave me just the right medicine. After two or three years I regained some hearing although it was supposed not to happen. And never had vertigo again. Be open to any suggestion, accept herbs and homeopathy, everything helps. I have a tingling sound in my ear, yes, and sometimes I hear better and sometimes worse, but I regained my normal life.
(10) Anonymous, August 14, 2017 4:40 PM
I hope things work out for you. Do be careful in crossing the street!!! It can be misleading, as to the direction of traffic flow. That is to say, we assume a vehicle is coming from the loudest sound (side), and with one side always being louder (on our good ear side), we can assume the vehicle is coming from the wrong side, or long gone. This has happened to me, in walking my kids out of their school. It was shocking the first few times, when I began to walk us somewhere, and almost stepped us out into danger. Be extra careful.
(9) Tzvi, August 14, 2017 2:42 AM
Hearing Loss
As someone with hearing loss in both ears, though it was progressive, I'd suggest talking with an otologist to see if a hearing aid or cochlear implant would be beneficial.
(8) Scott, August 13, 2017 7:34 PM
Thank God for the People Around You
Sounds like you have a very loving community around you. You should be very thankful for it. I have experienced partial loss of hearing for many years and temporarily lost it completely at one stage. All I can say is that people haven't been anywhere as near supportive as the amazing ones you have helping you.
(7) Chana-Rochel Eller, August 13, 2017 6:05 PM
Pam is a doll.
Pam was upbeat throughout her ordeal, and such a pleasure to spend time with . She always pooh-pooh'd the gravity of the loss in person and in her email while making at least this visitor feel she was thrilled to sit and talk. No wonder people were happy to "do" for her. Wish I'd given more; You never know, Pam. Just as suddenly as the loss came on, you may regain your hearing. I'll be davening for you.
Pam, August 14, 2017 3:42 AM
thank you
Chana-Rochel, you are so kind. Thank you. Your visit was wonderful!
(6) Caryn Lockspeiser, August 13, 2017 5:35 PM
Excellent positive thinking
Pam, you are right that this is not as uncommon as one might think. I am an audiologist working in an ENT practice and we see a lot of this. When the hearing doesn't come back, people are devastated and then come to accept that it could have been worse, they still have one good ear, and it is not life threatening. With Hashem's help, I hope you can adjust to the changes you are experiencing from this sudden hearing loss, and I wish you a Refuah Shelamah.
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:42 AM
thank you!
Amen, Caryn! Hoping it cures itself one day soon. Thanks for your note.
(5) Anonymous, August 13, 2017 5:04 PM
Onset of Diabetes
My husband had sudden ear loss many years ago. It was the onset of Diabetes and once he started treatment his hearing returned.
My hearing loss was a result of an inflammation in the inner ear that turned into Vertigo and contributed to hearing loss. Today I wear two hearing aids, one in each ear and they are G-d sent. You are living in an amazing community, the Chashmonaim people are a wonderful bunch.
Refuah Shelama!
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:44 AM
thank you
Glad your husband's hearing returned and the hearing aids help you. Wishing you both good health.
(4) Miriam, August 13, 2017 3:52 PM
I experienced the same thing several years ago, also out of nowhere, and I relate to how vulnerable this experience can make you feel. May Hashem continue to give you strength.
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:45 AM
thank you
Thanks! Wishing you the same.
(3) EB, August 13, 2017 2:47 PM
Thanks for posting
Thanks for posting your story. I have the same issue with my left ear. And went through the same treatment with similar results.
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:47 AM
refuah shelema
I hope your hearing returns. Thanks for commenting.
(2) Anonymous, August 13, 2017 2:31 PM
Oy va-voy!
May the worst thing that ever happens to you be the loss of hearing in one ear when you have two; may we all one day hopefully understand why HaShem in His running of Creation saw fit to rob you of your hearing when there were so many more pressing matters to occupy Him -- and why (as another poster suggested) in His infinite goodness He won't restore it; and may your bowl of candies be the first of many acts of kindness to make a world filled with genuine tragedy and misery a sweeter place. For starters: a lunatic nation threatening a nuclear war, an Israeli soldier in Jerusalem stabbed to death by an Islamic terrorist, a child born somewhere with an incurable disease, a teenager killed yesterday by a drunk driver, or some natural disaster or other anywhere in the world destroying people's lives by the thousands on a scale commonly described as biblical. The horrors are virtually endless, but we should never lose our resolve to defy them, one bowl of candies at a time.
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:48 AM
one bowl of candies at a time
I like that phrase - I'll have to remember to use it. Thanks for your comments.
(1) Phyllis Hecht, August 13, 2017 1:54 PM
Wow Pam. So sorry for this. What a beautiful article and depiction of a positive attitude. Refuah Shalima And bsorot tovot
Anonymous, August 14, 2017 3:50 AM
thank you!
Thanks, Phyllis. Amen.