Overeating can provide temporary relief from emotional pain, anxiety, and even boredom. We keep eating because we want the fleeting and immediate pleasure that food brings to last. But what we are really craving is a lasting pleasure, the kind that fills our soul.
Food is designed to be pleasurable. So once we begin to notice how pleasurable healthy food choices are, we can substitute them for more and more unhealthy food choices, creating new pleasurable good habits that don’t leave harmful effects on our bodies as junk food does.
Over time, new neural pathways are formed because of the neuroplasticity of our brains. So the new delightful habits of eating fresh fruit instead of cake become more deeply satisfying. Especially since the pleasure is not accompanied by any negative repercussions.
And yes, when we enjoy this healthy food, it does “crowd out” the room in our stomach for the unhealthy stuff. But in general, when we are overeating, it is not our bodies that are hungry – it’s our souls.
So to fill the emptiness within, in addition to subbing in healthier food choices, we can also add more lasting pleasure into our lives by spending time in nature, stretching, practicing gratitude, learning Jewish wisdom, dancing to music we love, being creative, and spreading kindness. And with this awareness, we can actually get in the habit of reaching for one of these non-food pleasures instead of a big bag of potato chips when we are feeling lonely, bored, or stressed.
When we fill up our days with a variety of the abundance of things in this world that can bring us greater levels of pleasure, the emotional pain also gets crowded out. And we are not distracting ourselves by adding more spiritual pleasures to our lives. We are fulfilling our genuinely deep needs. Food addictions, with the temporary comfort from emotional pain that they provide, are the distractions.
With the conscious awareness that people overeat because they want more lasting pleasure in their lives. The person who feels like overeating is empowered to bring more lasting pleasure into their lives through an abundance of pleasures greater than the fleeting comfort from junk food they were habitually using (with many deleterious effects) to try to experience a lasting pleasure.
Get in the habit of asking, “Is it my body that is hungry or my soul?”
People can get in the habit of realizing that if they need more pleasure in their lives, there is no scarcity – which is what they fear – and then they are empowered to bring more lasting pleasure into their lives in a great variety of other simple and attainable ways instead of eating junk.
As we get in the habit of asking ourselves, “Is it my body that is hungry or my soul?” When we feel like overeating, we will start reaching for a much greater variety of joyful and more meaningful pleasures instead of being stuck with food being the most salient kind of pleasure in our lives. And one day, we will notice that those bags of potato chips and chocolate bars have stopped calling our names so loudly.
Widespread food addictions are messaging us that our souls are starving. There is a gnawing emptiness inside. What we are genuinely craving is the lasting pleasure found in spiritual nourishment since we are all spiritual beings, housed in physical bodies. And we need spiritual nourishment, just as we need physical nourishment, throughout each day in order to thrive in life.
Addictions develop in order to fill the gnawing emptiness inside, but what we are craving – is a lasting pleasure. That’s what fills our hungry souls and lets them shine.
Yo-yo dieting persists because people try to stop overeating through temporary physical means, trying different kinds of diets repeatedly. We have been trying desperately to solve a spiritual deficit through physical means when it is spiritual nourishment that hits the spot.
When you feel like overeating to self-soothe, ask yourself this one question that creates a mindfulness moment, “Is it my body that is hungry – or my soul?” And with loving awareness, you will know the answer. Then you will be able to provide yourself that very moment with more lasting pleasure than the food you are overeating in order to try and make the pleasure keep lasting. You may want to step outside to feel a gentle breeze, turn on some music and start stretching, or call or text someone lonely. Whatever works fills the emptiness inside and lets your hungry soul shine with the nourishment it was genuinely craving.
Research has shown that it takes over 200 repetitions to develop a new habit, but when done joyfully, the new habit synapses can rewire in just 10 repetitions. In other words, the most efficient – and most enjoyable – way for a new healthy eating habit – or any worthwhile habit – to form is to do it through bringing greater and more lasting pleasure into one’s life! So the next time you feel like overeating, instead, try filling your hungry soul with lasting pleasure!
(9) Anonymous, November 30, 2020 11:00 AM
Food addiction
Nice article but easier said than done. Sometimes I feel so bad I have no motivation or desire to put in the effort. It's easier to grab a cookie.
(8) Bracha Goetz, November 12, 2020 6:39 PM
Great points!
Thank you, Carole and Nancy, for pointing out that there could be medical conditions or medications that cause overeating. It would have been good if I had mentioned those exceptions in the article.
(7) Carole Forsman, November 12, 2020 3:48 AM
Not Everyone's Soul is Starved
I caution that there are many a medical reasons why overeating is NOT a matter of one's soul being hungry. There are people with Thyroid problems, others on medical that increase hunger and appetite and that side effect is the lessor of evil with some medications. For example, prednisone in high dosages can cause an increase in appetite creating a situation wherein one is constantly hungry (I think Jerry Lewis gained weight because of that drug). Many a women who has been sexually assaulted (raped) will overeat to feel safe. I am sure there are other reasons as well besides one's soul being hungry that contribute to overeating. So this is NOT a blanket reason for overeating and one hs to determine their personal reason for overeating. If you were to just blanket say it is because of your soul being hungry when it is a major medical problem then one could end up with Thryoid surgery and having their thyroid removed because you did not seek medical attention for your overating caused by a thyroid problem. Or you could end up not getting the problem medical care for your overeating problem. So please do NOT blanket state overeating is all because your soul is hungry.
Nancy, November 12, 2020 12:25 PM
To commenter #7 Carole Foreman
Thank you for your feedback. Prader Willi disease causes a person to eat way beyond the point of fullness. As I understand it, this condition is 100% physiological in nature. I also think it may be uncommon, but it does in fact exist.
(6) Anonymous, November 11, 2020 12:00 AM
Complete oversimplification
I cannot speak for others, just myself. The remedy of "just ask this simple question..." is missing reality. I am a busy person and do not like to cook. I actually enjoy food, and I unfortunately cannot make healthy food that tastes good, and my wife cannot either. Junk or less heathy food tends to be available and quick to make, so it is easy to satisfy physical hunger, and the fact that I enjoy it satisfies a simplistic emotional hunger as well. I tend to study Judaism while eating, so my soul gets a spiritual boost as well.
Satisfying your soul's hunger is an order of magnitude harder and also requires a lot of time. If your physical hunger leads you to unhealthy choices, it is something you have to make a priority to mitigate or fix, and how you do that depends on your circumstances. You have to take into account you soul's needs, your body needs, you family needs, as well as your career needs, finances, etc. Asking simplistic questions is not helpful because event if you come up with the "right" answer, you have to do lots of time consuming stuff to continue enjoying food or learn to stop enjoying food for the sake of your health.
Nancy, November 11, 2020 12:19 PM
To commenter #6
I agree that this question is complicated. Re: Not liking to cook. Do you think you might be putting pressure on yourself to create a meal that looks like it came out of a magazine? Several years ago I gave away many of my cookbooks because the recipes were just too complicated and intimidating. This is indeed a personal journey, and I agree that it is time consuming. However, I disagree that you need to stop enjoying food for the sake of your health. IMO it is a journey. I wish you and your wife all the best as you figure out what is best for you.
Bracha Goetz, November 11, 2020 2:48 PM
To Anonymous
Our food was designed to be simple and pleasurable. Try the treats that the Almighty made for us - no cooking involved in the vast variety of fruit and nuts that are both nutritious and delicious. You might enjoy reading my picture book, Hashem's Candy Store too - about how fruits and veggies were wondrously designed to bring us great pleasure. It's a challenge to break a long-time habit of eating a lot of processed food, but if you sub in greater pleasures, the challenge can be a very enjoyable one.
(5) Anonymous, November 10, 2020 6:49 PM
This beautifully describes my pain and my recovery. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Hashem, I am a recovered food addict/compulsive overeater. I have been granted this gift by working the 12 steps of Overeaters Anonymous. I learned there that I had a "hole in my soul" that I was trying to fill with food. The answer was a spiritual one... which led me back home to my Judaism. It's been and continues to be a beautiful journey. I love the question posed, "Is it my body that is hungry--or is it my soul."
(4) Anonymous, November 9, 2020 11:06 PM
Scarcity
I find the concept of scarcity fascinating, in that in America at least, few people grew up with scarcity, yet an irrational and exaggerated fear of being hungry persists in overeaters. I'm wondering if it's because the stories of our relatives experiencing constant hunger to the point of starvation during the Holocaust has impacted us, even subconsciously.
(3) Nancy, November 9, 2020 11:34 AM
To commenter #2 Shellie Grafstein
Weight loss surgery alone may not be successful, but I am certain that when you combine it with behavioral changes and counseling, you see a difference. For morbidly obese people weight loss surgery may mean the difference between life and death.
(2) Shellie Grafstein, November 9, 2020 10:03 AM
I totally agree with everything you said!!
I am a weight loss coach for yoyo dieters and totally agree with everything you say. Diets and weight loss surgery doesn't work because they don't address the main issues of what is causing the problem in the first place.
There are many ways to fill our soul. I love the suggestions in your article. So nice to see this article on aish.com
(1) Steph, November 9, 2020 2:30 AM
Thank you.
I needed this article at this very moment. I was literally just going downstairs for another snack (something that has been happening a lot lately, which I don’t feel good about). For some reason, I decided to check out this site (which I haven’t done in years) and it’s the first article I see. G-d works in obvious ways sometimes :).