Three Types of Forgiveness

Exoneration, forbearance, and release and the power of forgiveness.

We’ve all had times in our relationships when we hurt a loved one, or a loved one hurt us. That's part of life. But not all of us know how to forgive, even when the other party has offered a sincere apology (and especially when he doesn’t). UCLA psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer shares the three types of forgiveness: exoneration, forbearance, and release. fixing their most valued relationships.

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Comments (9)

(9) Anonymous, November 9, 2021 3:57 PM

Gave me great insight... thank yoy,

(8) Dvora, August 18, 2017 1:40 PM

Stephen Marmer this is a great article. I tell others all the time to release negative feelings so that positive feelings can grow, It is key to maintaining spiritual growth. Even to reach new spiritual heights. There are some things so despicable that they cannot be forgiven. For this, I rely greatly on Hashem. I give Him charge of forgiveness because I simply can't. I put it in His hands and leave it there.

(7) Nay, September 11, 2015 7:54 PM

I learned so much from your short but to the point video Dr. Marmer. I am in a crisis mode with family that just does not understand that I have feelings. They say and do as they please never considering the consequences. I backed off from exposing myself to them thus protecting myself from negativity. The Holidays always bring on stressful times. "Release" as you call it will help me. It will be my muntra if you will for the future. "Compassion" helps. It's just hard sometimes when "they" refuse to see the pain they inflict by always putting it on the other person. They can't look at themselves as it's easier to blame others. I am very forgiving it's just hard when they have blinders on.

(6) Kristine, May 19, 2014 5:03 PM

Thank you

from the bottom of my heart! One step at a time I hope I will achieve the release of my wrongdoers… You gave me a great insight! G-D bless you...

(5) Anonymous, May 18, 2014 9:12 PM


The lesson about the application of 'Release' was extremely helpful, especially the reasoning behind the idea.
I appreciated the opportunity to learn from such a distinguished specialist.

(4) Jaya, May 18, 2014 8:39 AM


This was an excellent video for me . Very thought provoking and significant .thank you .

(3) Yehudith Shraga, May 13, 2014 12:34 AM

Thank you for the clear explanations

Very exact, true and straight to the point pieces of advice which help restore the Divine Order in the mind, put our feelings into the right proportions, and step by step change our attitude to ourselves and the world around.

(2) Leah, May 12, 2014 5:39 PM

Excellent! Methodical and validating through acceptable logic.

(1) Robbie, May 12, 2014 3:27 AM


Thanks so much for a practical, healing Jewish view of forgiveness.


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