One of the most powerful ways we experience God’s closeness is through coincidences.
I know this is certainly the case with me. Stuff happens to me all the time that I can’t explain.
Here are two examples.
One Friday night, I was in shul and my mind wandered a bit. I realized that this was my anniversary of keeping Shabbos for the first time. In fact, it was exactly 20 years ago to the day. I wondered how many Shabboses that was. I did the math and multiplied 20 (years) times 52 (weeks) and arrived at 1040 Shabbos. Then I realized something that made my head spin. That same week I began a brand new job. The address was 1040 N. Las Palmas Ave.
Another story.
One of my favorite Torah commentators is Rabbi Yitzhak Issac Chaver, a tremendous Torah Scholar and Kabbalist from the 19th century, from the school of the Vilna Gaon. The book of his I’ve been studying is called Ohr Torah, the light of Torah. When I learned that he’d also written a commentary on the Aggadata, the more esoteric sections of the Talmud, I ordered that, too. When the books arrived I was overwhelmed with emotion. I sat in my favorite chair, brought the books to my heart, and hugged them. At that moment the phone rang. My daughter ran in to tell me that someone was calling for me.
“Who?” I asked.
“Ohr Torah,” she said.
What??
There is a shul in the community called Torah Ohr, but the caller ID on our phone reverses first and last names, so the screen read Ohr Torah – the name of the Rabbi whose books I was hugging at that moment.
The Meaning of Coincidences
How do you explain occurrences like this, and what are we supposed to do when they happen?
Usually we throw our hands up in the air and say things like, “What are the odds!” or “Can you believe that?” But the sheer miraculousness of the events always left me feeling like I wasn’t fully appreciating their significance.
So for years I struggled with what the appropriate response to coincidences is – or put another way, given that that just took place – what am I supposed to do now?
I once heard that coincidences were God’s way of waving, “Hello!”
While that’s a lovely thought, there’s something problematic about it. Namely, God is waving “Hello!” every moment! So what makes coincidences any different from every other moment?
The question perplexed me until I reflected on the following teaching.
In Ethics of Our Fathers, Rabbi Akiva says, “Beloved are people for they were created in God’s image; it is indicative of a greater love that it was made known to them that they were created in God’s image, as it is said: ‘For in the image of God, He made human beings.’” (3:18)
Rabbi Akiva is telling us something amazing here. You see, something can be true, but it’s indicative of an even greater love when God shows us that it’s true.
Imagine this exchange between a parent and child. Child: “Do you love me?” Parent: “Of course I love you.” Child: “Then how come you never tell me?”
The parent loves the child. But it’s indicative of a greater love when the parent makes it known to the child that he loves them.
Yes, God is everywhere.
Yes, God is saying “Hello!” to us every nano-second of our lives.
But when we experience a coincidence, God is, so to speak, “going out of His way” to make it known to us how present He is in our lives.
Contemplate how awesome that is! God is literally customizing a series of events unique to you just to make known to you how close He at that moment.
Wow.
In Torah this is what we call an “ays ratzon”, a favorable moment. But if we translate the Hebrew literally, it’s even more powerful. It means, “a time of desire,” a time when God is expressing His longing for us.
During these moments our sages teach us that the Gates of Heaven are open to our prayers.
Now we know what to do the next time a coincidence happens!
Pray.
Pour your heart out and ask God for everything.
(10) Linda Vogt Turner, November 28, 2019 6:57 PM
Coincidences are God Instances
God takes the time to say hello, I love you. As a man leaves his Father and his Mother and cleaves with his wife, his parents rejoice. A new family begins. So does God our Mother and Father rejoice and send mortals pictures, and greetings that rivet their attention and remind each member of the HUMAN FAMILY to love their mother and their father and one another. For there is no greater thing to do in life than to love and be loved in return, singing praises remembering Psalm 90: 3-4 and the words of Ezekiel and the other prophets ...rejoicing in the Eternal Word of God forever.
(9) Rachel Muradov, March 26, 2018 3:34 AM
Woow
This article came at perfect timing, I'm going thru a personal miracle and now I know how to respond better, thanks so much for this!! Much appreciated!
(8) Anonymous, October 27, 2015 11:22 AM
Excellent article! Thanks for posting this!
(7) Anonymous, October 22, 2015 2:51 PM
How amazing is this? I had just read this article when an online Jewish music station began playing Benny Friedman's "Todah." I love these reminders.
(6) Rafael, October 21, 2015 12:26 PM
Coincidence is coincidence by definition . If events happen by design then it is design . If there is no coincidence in the Jewish faith , the word should be eliminated ... Not redefined . Unlike the Tora with words having many layers of meaning , modern languages have evolved huge vocabularies with spot on meanings . The evolution of knowledge has inspired and demanded new words like " nano" to identify a form of micro technology .
Free will should insure a place for coincidence . If both the good and the bad is orchestrated by the Almighty ,
Then there is no free will or coincidence .
Yirmiyahu, October 21, 2015 9:22 PM
Fair points except, up until the 1880s, doctors also believed that the cause of illness was a thing called 'miasma' (bad air). We now know that miasmas are not real. Languages have plenty of words for things that don't actually exist. A lack of coincidence does not necessitate a lack of free will. One still plays a part in the creation of 'coincidences'. Free will doesn't mean you can choose to do whatever you want. I can't simply decide to jump off my roof and fly through the air. Free will is limited to a range of possibilities and within those possibilities we are allowed to make a choice and affect an outcome. Those outcomes create a string of coincidences for the world around us.
Shoshana-Jerusalem, February 1, 2016 1:46 PM
"coincidence"
The word should probably be eliminated. What we have to know is that H-shem is running the world and there is nothing besides Him- Ein Od Milvado. And what we have to know is that these things that people call coincidences , are not by "chance".
Actually, it the word "chance" that we have to get rid of. It is a word that puts an iron barrier between us and our Creator. It takes Him out of the picture. Nothing happens by chance. Everything is Divine Providence. (Hashgacha pratis.) This is H-shems way of speaking to us, of appearing to us. If a person doesn't realize this, he is missing out on a very great experience, as well as denying the Creator in his life.
Once I got on a bus on the wrong side of the street and was headed in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. When I realized it I got off the bus, who do I see, but a woman whose name and address I didn't know but had once shared a cab with her and some other women and inadvertently not paid my full share of the money. So H-shem in His infinite kindness led me to come face to face with her and pay my dept.
He loves us and is running our private lives down to the last detail.
(5) Yirmiyahu, October 20, 2015 9:44 PM
My take...
I like the ideas presented in this article but I think there's more to it than that. Personally, I've always taken coincidences to mean that my life and choices are heading in the right direction. More importantly though, when one realises a coincidence has occurred, there is an uplifting of the spirit; an opening of the mind to a deeper and more wondrous reality. For me, that experience is in itself the purpose of coincidences.
As a side note, we experience many more coincidences daily than we are consciously aware. In a way, life is a cascade of coincidences. Perhaps, if we took the time to notice them more, we would experience more of those uplifting moments?
No wonder the Sages teach that it is in these moments that the Gates of Heaven are open to our prayers!
(4) Anonymous, October 20, 2015 9:08 PM
Hello
This message blessed,it has answered questions on my heart.
(3) Lynn, October 20, 2015 5:40 PM
Love it!
Your article on coincidences is great. Often when G-d helps me find something I really want for cheap I feel the same way, He is giving me a present just when I need it to let me know He hasn't forgotten me and wants me to be happy.
(2) Anonymous, October 20, 2015 3:15 PM
Seriously?
No doubt this article will resonate loudly on a religious website. But suppose we alter the writer's example a bit to expose his theory of coincidences as nonsense. Suppose the 1,040 Shabbats coincided with the address at 1040 N. Las Palmas Avenue, where just recently an innocent victim had been shot dead in a robbery, or a young man had died of a heart attack, or a woman had been sexually assaulted in an office, or a fatal fire had claimed lives, or some other bad things had occurred. Would the author still have concluded that this was God's way of saying "hello?"
Hayyim Moshe, October 20, 2015 7:41 PM
Don't be a Hater
Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Almost everyone has doubts.
No one should be a hater
Anonymous, October 21, 2015 5:35 PM
yeah, but that didn't happen. this did. what if? who cares. it didn't.
Jewish Mom, October 21, 2015 7:46 PM
Everything is from G-d whether sweet or bitter
Yes - everything, whether we perceive it as good or bad, sweet or bitter - it's all carefully measured and specific to each and every person. This includes the man who was delayed and didn't make it on time to work on 9/11/2001 and thereby his life was saved, as well as the other person who perhaps had a later appointment, but moved it up and did not make it. It was not a matter of coincidence or good/bad luck. Likewise, the person who was sitting at the bus stop but moved away a minute before the terrorist's car plowed into it, while someone else planned to be elsewhere, but occupied that exact space and lost his life. Our lives are orchestrated by G-d. No one lives forever and we don't choose when to be born or when to die. But we do choose how to live. If we choose to align our lives with G-d's Will, then we will have lived purposeful lives, fulfilling the reason that G-d created this world in the first place. As it says in the Mesillas Yesharim, G-d created the world in order to give - so that He may shower abundant joy upon his creations by enabling them to have a close relationship with Him. We build that relationship from birth to physical death by doing G-d Will. For Jews, that means keeping the Torah and its commandments; for gentiles, it mean keeping the 7 Noahide laws. At death, our bodies - the tools we used with which to bond with G-d - are respectfully buried in the earth, while our souls are freed to soar heavenward and bask in the delightful joy of G-d's love in the Afterlife. If one wasted one's entire life on physicality, s/he is unable to enjoy spiritual pleasure; the regret is Hellish torture. Whether you believe it or not makes no difference; it simply is the truth. You can choose to see G-d in your life, whether via a loving stroke or a painful slap, or ignore the messages. If you're on the lookout, you can't miss them. Scorn them? The loss is all yours. He loves you no matter what and shows His faith in you by continuing to grant you life.
Nancy, January 31, 2016 12:28 PM
To commenter #2 Anonymous
The definition of the word coincidence is 2 unplanned incidents happening at the same time. Sometimes coincidences are happy as in the author's story. Sometimes they are tragic, as in the hypothetical examples you posted. To use the word nonsense is to show disrespect to the author and those of us who believe in G-d. One can disagree without being disagreeable.
(1) Lisa, October 18, 2015 8:28 AM
We need to be looking for a coincidence .....
I love your take on a coincidence !! We all need that emotional reinforcement that GD is there , He loves us & He is rooting for us!!