Volkswagen used to have a commercial about their Passat wagon. It featured a young couple at a red light waiting for it to turn green. The light changes but the pick-up truck in front of them does not react; probably busy texting. The impatient woman in the passenger seat mutters to get going since "it is not going to get any greener." She reaches across to the steering wheel and gives the guy a honk.
Hubby immediately says, "Why? (Sigh) Okay honey..." Sure enough a skin-headed sleeveless tough comes out of the truck, fists clenched. Hubby lamely laments, "Here we go ... thanks honey."
As tough-guy makes his way towards the hapless couple in the white wagon, she pleads to lock the doors. However the tough guy walks right past the couple and begins to bang on the tinted window of the snazzy black Cadillac SUV with designer wheel covers who is right behind the Passat, mistakenly thinking he did the honking. Seizing the opportunity, Passat-man pulls out and takes off. The commercial ends with "The VW Passat Wagon – Lowest Ego Emissions of any German-engineered vehicle."
In Judaism we have a notion of the Evil Eye and it is a subject that has drawn great fascination over the years. These days there seems to be a whole industry around jewelry and knick-knacks like red strings, Hamsa protective hands and the like that purport to ward off such negative energy.
The Talmud seems to take the Evil Eye quite seriously at times, saying that people can die from the Evil Eye. On the other hand, it states that anyone who does not believe in it will not be affected by it. So which one is it? Is there something real and authentic to the Evil Eye or is this simply a superstitious creation of bubbies worldwide?
The true meaning of an Evil Eye as it relates to misfortune is dependent on how much publicity surrounds someone's good fortune. If you have something good and wonderful like healthy children, a good job, a beautiful spouse, or a nice car – that is fine and a true gift from the Almighty. However, if that good thing creates bad feelings or ill-will in others that you could have prevented, then there needs to be a reassessment by God to see if you are still deserving of it.
God initially judged that you should have a particular success in one set of circumstances. However if you utilize that success to make others feel bad, incomplete or lacking, then He may now feel you are no longer deserving of that particular good and arrange for you to lose it.
As such, Evil Eye is not some arbitrary force out to get you that would necessitate amulets for protection. Rather, it is the malice that one brings upon oneself through their hubris, self-centeredness and insensitivity to how their good fortune has brought about feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness in others. So, if you are wearing a red string on your wrist to remind you of these truths – fine; but if you are wearing it to ward off evil spirits – not so fine.
This is one of the reasons why Judaism views modesty as one of the noblest of character traits. Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt"l used to often say that a person should take pleasure, not pride, in their good fortune. It’s a good idea to try to travel under the radar screen and not attract too much attention to yourself. Don’t be ostentatious. Whether it is the loud tone of your voice, arrogantly ignoring anyone around you in a public setting, the clothes you wear, the house you dwell in or the car you drive, it is in one's interest to keep a low profile and to exercise a bit of restraint. You might want to think twice before posting your newest luxury acquisition or photo of your expensive dinner on facebook.
As the prophet Micha succinctly said, “He has told you what is good and what God wishes from you: Only to do justice and acts of kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”
Take center-stage when the opportunity demands it, such as standing up for what is right, moral and true. Otherwise, keep a low profile and let the guy in the shiny obnoxious Caddy Escalade take the heat.
(16) Dr C D Goldberg, June 1, 2016 1:59 PM
A lot of things that we doe are evil.
There are a lot of day to day things that we do that should also be regarded as satanic and evil, such as child abuse, dishonest business practices, alchohol, substance and tobacco addiction, then there is gambling also.
Raise children on strong moral grounds and give them every opportunity to take ownership and buy in of discipline, order and good clean practices.
(15) Allan, January 17, 2016 4:44 PM
The evil eye is within us. Its our own conscious.
(14) deborah, July 21, 2015 11:21 PM
the evil eye
she should not have honked ~ terrible commercial
(13) Anonymous, July 13, 2015 1:57 PM
evil eye
I believe it exists but, it's wrong to dwell & practice such evi.
(12) michael clark, July 10, 2015 6:03 PM
Idolotry
If Jews would FEAR the Almighty as they SHOULD they would have no such superstitions as this "evil Eye"!!!!
(11) RAM, July 10, 2015 2:27 PM
Hamsa
Is there anything non-pagan in this hamsa thing?
(10) Yehuda, July 9, 2015 12:54 AM
Evil eye - no such thing!
According to Rabbi Soloveitchik, there is no such thing as an Ayin Hara! He has said it many times. Putting on a red ribbon or the like borders on idol worship. If somebody seems to have it all, but then either loses it all or have bad tidings befall them, it is due to arrogance, not the evil eye!
(9) Anonymous, July 8, 2015 12:03 PM
Humble is as Humble Does
My parents, may they rest in peace were very humble. No flash here was there motto. So we never had fancy cars, fancy houses, expensive trips or anything like that. They could have had a little more, they choose not to. I was always taught to go unnoticed. I am the queen of unnoticed. I can meet anyone twice and they won't remember meeting me. I think the Rabbis are all for humble. Not being remembered? That's taking it a bit too far. I don't wear makeup in the summer & feel less comfy in my clothes that are trendy. I really have no fun with going unnoticed. And now that I'm 45 yrs old, I think it's counterproductive. I would never want to be an in your face person. Just remember my face, please. LOL, not always laughing though. Any thoughts to tweak it besides makeup?
Nancy, July 8, 2015 5:25 PM
To commenter #9 Humble is as Humble does
With all due respect to your parents, a"h there is a difference between being fiscally prudent and being self effacing. It sounds like they were very smart when it came to saving money. However, there is a difference between someone remembering the car you drive and remembering your name. You have the right to stand up and be who YOU are. You don't need to wear makeup or drive a fancy car. Being you is enough. If you are friendly and genuine to others, that is all a person can want.
(8) Anonymous, July 7, 2015 9:17 PM
The Rabbi Is Wrong
Not only are the other posters correct for criticizing your tacit endorsement of the innocent occupants of the ostentatious car being placed in physical harm by the cowardly acts of the occupants of the modest car, but why shouldn't I take "pride" in my ostentatious car, or lifestyle, or whatever, so long as they give me pleasure and I earned them through my hard work, industry and ingenuity?
Pascale, July 8, 2015 7:34 AM
Your hard work?
This is where the problem starts!you earned your car/ lifestyle or whatever else through your hard work, industry,and ingenuity?
Think again darling! Ein od milvado! It all comes from The Boss! He decides who gets what and it has to do with our own spiritual journey . Yes, we go through the motions here, so we do not feel humiliated, but we do not actually do anything so it is all on loan!
Can you be proud of something you got at a handout? We have to be grateful for all we have and understand we get free gifts all the time. Let us use them well and share with others our good fortune of being His children.
Give a break to Rabbi Tzvi, he was only relating the ad.And if it bothers you , as it should, drop a line to the car company on their website.
The holy Basl Shem Tov use to say that when something bothers us we should make a Heshbon Nefesh as we probably have a similar fault in our character.
Thank you rabbi Tzvi for an excellent article.
Sal, July 8, 2015 11:51 AM
Pride is great, there is more to it
Pride is great. Knowing when to have pride is even better. You should take pleasure in the fruits of your labor. You should take pride in your work ethic. You should take pride in your ingenuity. You should feel blessed to be blessed with ingenuity and the ability to carry out and bring to fruition. c. . I sincerely hope you aren't missing out on some things you could miss if your loving your material goodies takes up most of your spare time. The hard work and ingenuity, that's what I wish for my kiderlach and myself. That is awesome to have those traits!!! You may want to shake around the thinking about or tweak it! You sound kinda angry.
(7) Gary, July 7, 2015 6:25 PM
Very True.
I love the scripture reference to Micha 6:8, it is one of my favorites. Lording ones blessings over another is a sure way to have HaShem "take you down a peg" for you own good and the good of others. By the same token if your blessings are shared with others and bless others, you can be assured of greater blessing because you bring honor to the giver of the blessings. Share your blessings with others for their good and by doing so honor HaShem. On a side note: A Rabbi shared with me about walking humbly with HaShem, in the Micha reference, Rabbi said that to walk humbly is to be teachable by HaShem and not so lifted up as to be hard hearted. B'H
(6) bvw, July 7, 2015 6:08 PM
Okay but then
I would have jumped out of the blue VW Passat station wagon and yelled at the tough guy: "Hey you're looking for me!".
I doing want someone else paying my freight.
(5) Dvirah, July 7, 2015 4:17 PM
Justice
While I agree with this artilce, in the interests of justice I must protest the last line. Just because he has an expensive car doesn't make someone guilty of something he didn't do, and he certainly does deserve to be beaten up because of what you did!
(4) Batya, July 7, 2015 3:22 PM
and what about the Passat couple?
I understand what you're saying here about the Evil Eye. But in your story you make it okay that the Passat couple caused trouble, got away, and left another to suffer for their actions -- was that okay? Just to prove your point?
I think the main point in the story got away. How does what the Passat folks did fit into Jewish teachings? How does letting another suffer for your actions make sense as a basic human being---not even as a Jew?
I think part of the problem in the world, part of why we, as Jews, are often overlooked or unknown and feared, is because we DON'T take ownership of the good we do in the world, the positive actions, the social justice fights, the mensh-ness of Judaism. I think it's time maybe we DID take some pride in who we are -- and tell the world.
Too often throughout history did others (ie: Germans? Passat?) pass the blame to us, the Jews. Too often we've suffered for that -- because the world doesn't have a chance to see who we are.
The real villians in the story you told are the couple in the Passat. All those throughout history who have passed the blame onto the little old Jewish couple who worked their fingers to the bone to afford to drive a rented Cadillac for a week while visiting sick relatives far away.
Maybe we need a little pride in ourselves for a change. Instead of beating ourselves up like the rest of the world does.
(3) Anonymous, July 7, 2015 2:47 PM
agree wholeheartedly
Fear of showing off is the main reason I still don't have facebook and even my whatsApp photo is of a tree. I learned this lesson from a co-worker years ago. He told me he didn't keep pictures of kids on desk, because there are people who feel pain of childlessness, so no need to show off.
I'm aware that facebook has potential of tying you to long lost friends or relatives, so I'm still tempted, but I don't want to invest time in something that is basically ego-centered. That's not meant to put down the almost everybody else who does have facebook and are probably better people than I.
I also drive a 1998 car while I can afford a new one, but that's not to avoid envy - it's because I feel no need.
Nancy, July 8, 2015 11:41 AM
To commenter #3 anonymous
Re: Not having a Facebook account. I seriously doubt that people on FB are better than you are. A few years ago I went to my FB page and gasped in horror when I found out that a former co-worker had a massive heart attack and was in a coma. This co-worker's sister kept all of us updated as to his condition, for which I was most appreciative. I think it's possible to take the best of what FB has to offer and just disregard the clutter. You and your former coworker sound like very insightful and sensitive people. I do my best to emulate these behaviors. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail miserably, but I always get back up and give it another effort.
(2) Anonymous, July 6, 2015 11:12 AM
Not sure it's that simple
BH, we are fortunate to have financial means. We have a big beautiful house and I have often felt uncomfortable with certain people in our community - this is despite the fact that we have gone out of our way time and time again to host simchas for other people, Jewish learning, etc.
I didn't grow up with wealth and certainly don't behave in a "showy" manner - still, I feel like just the fact that people know we are blessed in this way invites jealousy.
What do you think?
Nancy, July 6, 2015 12:55 PM
To commenter #2 Anonymous
You sound like a very down to earth individual. With that said, you are certainly NOT responsible if other people react to your good fortune in a jealous manner. For whatever it is worth, if I were invited to your home for a simcha, I would be sure to thank you for the invitation.
Anonymous, July 7, 2015 12:23 PM
Thank you
Dear Nancy,
I greatly appreciate your kind words.
Anonymous, July 8, 2015 11:41 AM
To anonymous
You're welcome.
Tzvi Nightingale, July 6, 2015 1:14 PM
Response from Author
I was very careful with my wording and thus stated, "However, if that good thing creates bad feelings or ill-will in others that you could have prevented..." "That you could have prevented" is the key phrase - no one is saying you have to live under a rock and cannot enjoy the blessing the Almighty has given to you - especially when they are being used for a good cause. It is the unnecessary, showy pretentious behavior that we need to be aware of. Hope this clarifies matters. Rabbi Tzvi
Anonymous, July 7, 2015 12:26 PM
Thank you for clarifying
I suppose I have been so worried about ayin hara that I missed this important point.
Once again, thank you for clarifying - and for writing a good article on this important subject.
(1) Nancy, July 5, 2015 12:47 PM
I strive to remain genuinely humble.
This is an important article. Thank you for sharing it.