Imagine someone telling you: “Here is a credit card with unlimited credit. You’ve got one day to use it for everything you’ve ever desired.”
Then on the day you get the magic card, you forget to use it!
This is what happens to most of us on our wedding day.
On one’s wedding day, the gates of prayer are wide open. The Jewish mystical sources tell us that on a wedding day, the bride and groom’s power of prayer is greater than even the holiest person alive. You can ask for anything! Yet most of us get so caught up in the details of the day that we forget to tap into this spiritual wellspring.
When I got married, I hadn’t the slightest clue what to pray for. Someone was nice enough to make me a list, so that I wouldn’t miss out on all the blessings for a great marriage and life together.
On your wedding day, I recommend going through this list at a quiet moment, right as you get out of bed in the morning, before everything gets hectic.
And don’t forget: Prayer works best when you open your mouth to speak it out, as opposed to just skimming with your eyes.
Marriage Relationship
May I always speak gently, and think before speaking.
May we always have open, good communication.
May I always act with caring and compassion.
May I have the patience to appreciate our differences.
May we bring out the best in one another.
May we have the ability to overlook the negative and focus on the positive in one another.
May I always give my spouse the space and support s/he needs to thrive.
May we have the wisdom to correct each other gently, when necessary.
May I let go of unnecessary expectations that keep me from accepting and loving my spouse for who s/he is.
May I not expect from my spouse, but rather appreciate what is done for me.
May we each be independently focused on being the giver in the relationship.
May we never keep score of what each one did or didn’t do.
May I protect and defend my spouse’s honor in every situation.
May I constantly guard the sanctity and fidelity of our marriage.
May we always be totally faithful to one another, even in our thoughts.
May I understand how to satisfy my spouse physically.
May I be sensitive to my spouse emotionally, in order to be there for her/him.
May we always grow closer together through shared life goals.
May I never hold a grudge or take revenge.
May I easily forgive, and gently express when I have been hurt.
May I have an abundance of patience.
May I make decisions with my spouse’s best interests in mind.
May I trust that my spouse has my best interest in mind.
May I have the strength to subdue my anger and delay acting until calm.
May I understand that what may be easy for me may not be easy for others.
May I truly appreciate all that my spouse does for me.
Building a Home
May our home be filled with joy and laughter.
May we have many healthy, happy children.
May we raise them with a love of God.
May our future children be protected from negative influences and negative peers.
May our future children have integrity, and meaningful and successful life pursuits.
May I be a good role model for my children.
May I have an easy transition into being a spouse and parent – and love it.
May money never be an issue.
May I have good relations with my in-laws.
May I have opportunities to contribute in a meaningful way to my community.
May my religion and heritage always remain a priority in our home.
May we always be safe from threats and disaster.
May our planet be healthy and may we treat it with an eye toward the future.
May the world know no more strife, and may the era of true peace come speedily in our days.
Personal Growth
May I enjoy good health and a long life.
May I always have my life priorities clear.
May I invest my energy and assets wisely.
May I have the strength to sacrifice for the bigger, long-term picture.
May I always strive for higher levels of spiritual growth.
May I be open-minded to my faults, and have the motivation and guidance to correct those faults.
May nothing from my past haunt me.
May I use the gift of life to do what God uniquely created me for.
Add Your Own Prayers Here:
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(30) Anonymous, April 18, 2019 6:03 AM
Beautiful Article
This is the most beautiful helpful article! I came across it a few years ago and I am looking SO forward to using it on my wedding day in just 2 weeks. It includes such practical and useful prayers that are so important but that we often forget to daven for. To the writer of the article- thank you so much!
(29) meyer eva, August 20, 2018 9:20 AM
Do you please have the "wedding day dream" in Hebrew.? Thank you
(28) tova, August 21, 2013 2:19 PM
thank you
i printed this list for my wedding day and it helped immensely. it helped me focus on what i should be praying for on my special day. i have since sent it to 3 friends who have all benefited from it. thank you!
(27) Limor, March 20, 2013 3:57 AM
inspiring!
this is so inspiring and beautiful! as I am taking that next step in my life, I look forward to using this list very soon! Toda Raba!!
(26) Judith, April 18, 2012 1:27 AM
Wow!!
I'm getting married in June......this really helps..
(25) Mindy, March 4, 2012 6:32 AM
Brought tears of joy and a smile to my face...I am BH very soon embarking on this lnew life and reading this made me remember why...Thank you!!!
Gives me so much to look forward too!!! Amen
(24) Anonymous, February 22, 2012 2:01 PM
Enough reason for everyone to marry
Thanks for all the wisdom in those words. It should be printed in bold and read each day.
(23) Anonymous, July 12, 2011 7:22 AM
It has become a custom of mine
to send this article to friends who are getting married and every single one thanks me for this treasure. I even translated it as best I could into Hebrew for an Israeli friend after discovering that it didn't exist in Hebrew. Thank-you for writing this precious piece and for enabling so many people to tap into the holiness of the wedding day!
mordchai, February 6, 2020 10:10 AM
hebrew translation
can you maybe share with others your Hebrew translation? as it could be for good use to other chasanim,
thanks
(22) Miriam, May 23, 2011 2:26 AM
Made me cry
I am just beginning to plan the wedding, and reading this really helped me to understand what the planning is for. I am so excited to begin our life together... thank you for this list.
(21) Clint Smith, March 6, 2011 8:59 PM
Wonderful
I am in the process of planning my wedding for this July. It is so easy to get caught up in the decisions and forget how special the upcoming day is. Thank you so much for helping me focus on what is truly important. A million blessing.
(20) Cheryl, December 7, 2010 9:46 PM
Simply Beautiful
I love this article and consider it a Mitzvah! Simply Beautiful!
(19) Susan Barth, November 15, 2010 8:16 AM
perfect way to start your wedding day
Azrel, you have written the perfect dialogue to have with hashem on the day of one's wedding. Kol hakavod on this contribution to the most important day of one's new life together with one's beshert- a reminder to bring hashem into your life at all times
(18) Anonymous, April 23, 2010 7:46 PM
Absolutly beautiful!
(17) Rachel, April 21, 2010 12:06 AM
I made one too!!
By nature I'm a 'list' person. I make lists for everything. I made a verry similar list before my wedding. I asked my married friends to contribute to the list and came up with almost all the things you mentioned in you list. Kol Hakavod! One more thing to add - before your chuppah, make sure to ask mechila (forgiveness) from your parents and ppl you may think you caused harm.
(16) Anonymous, April 16, 2010 9:01 PM
I wish this article was around exactly one year ago when I was getting married! Beautiful.
(15) judy, April 15, 2010 12:17 PM
wow, truly beautiful, what every chatan and kallah wishes for.
(14) Eleonora, April 13, 2010 9:18 PM
Thank you so much
for the food for thought the list has given
(13) Anonymous, April 13, 2010 7:57 PM
love this list
I love this list this should be laminated and given to all the married and engaged couples out there .
(12) Frieda Benelyahou, April 13, 2010 7:46 PM
Thank you for this gift you just gave my daughter. Be esrat Hashem she is getting married on May 16th. and her 2 other cousins to follow later.Thank you.
(11) Lin zhu, April 13, 2010 6:15 PM
i love all the things over.
(10) l, April 13, 2010 6:02 PM
thank u so much!!
right on time...
(9) Robin, April 13, 2010 6:06 AM
Beautiful Affirmations!
My beloved and I recently celebrated our 25th anniversary. These prayers are even more meaningful today than they would have been on our wedding day. I read these with awareness of how much each of us does for the other, and noticing that neither of us is perfect. We are always striving to express our love more fully. I can see bringing this list of prayers out at anniversaries (or whenever!) for a loving review of what really matters to us. I will add, in response to anonymous, that my husband expresses so many of these qualities -- surely there are many men who are willing and able to do so.
(8) Judy Fulda, April 12, 2010 10:04 PM
No expiration date
This beautiful list can be used at any time, not just on the day of the wedding. How wonderful it would be if we would use it at the time of candle-lighting or the day of going to the mikvah, for instance.
(7) Miriam, April 12, 2010 12:54 PM
A glorious list.
Thank you!
(6) manugw, April 12, 2010 12:21 AM
An stressful situation
Thiing is bride and groom are so nervous, anxious and tired of the preparations that they probably cannot concentrate in praying. They want the whole thing over
(5) A Bracha For All, April 11, 2010 9:53 PM
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
When I learned that the gates are opened particularly wide on our hebrew birthdays, I created a list of blessings to bestow upon myself and my friends, and many of the things listed above are contained in my personal tefillah. This is a beautiful list that is all encompassing, but if you have time, think also of the things that you need particularly in your own life and add them to the list. Make it personal. (If you know that patience is one of your biggest issues, put a star next to it, etc.) It'll have more meaning for you down the road, and it will be more heartfelt when you say it.
(4) Elianna, April 11, 2010 9:46 PM
What a beautiful reminder
My husband and I have been married for almost thirteen years, this is such a beautiful reminder of what is important. Thank you for this article.
(3) Anonymous, April 11, 2010 5:02 PM
What a joke.
If married men made any efforts toward even 1 or 2 of the things on your list, we'd be doing pretty good. A bit pie-in-the-sky, I think.
(2) Married over a decade, April 11, 2010 12:49 PM
It's never too late...
Although the wedding day is a very great opportunity-once in a lifetime(hopefully). Prayers are always accepted. These are things to always pray for.
(1) Avital, April 11, 2010 9:37 AM
What a great thing!
This is such a great service! I am so happy now that I have a list of things to pray for on my wedding day. It's so true that we blank out, davka on the most important opportunity. Thank you, thank you, thank you dear author!