Rebbetzin Henny Machlis passed away five years ago* without ever having heard of Covid-19, but she left us a recipe for dealing with this difficult period.
Her recipe has two ingredients: Emunah (faith in God, explained below) and personal prayer.
Although the Bible you may have received at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah probably translates the second of the Ten Commandments as, “You shall have no other gods before me,” the Hebrew word for “gods” also means “powers.” Emunah means believing that there is a single Divine force that controls the universe, which entails believing exclusively in God and not in any other powers. That includes political powers, economic powers, and even the power of a coronavirus vaccine to save us from the plague.
Although God works (most of the time) through the laws of nature that God has set up, the Divine will is responsive to prayer. This leads us to the second ingredient in Henny’s “Good-for-any-crisis” recipe: personal prayer. While Henny advocated and practiced praying from the traditional siddur, or Jewish prayer book, in the morning, afternoon, and evening, she was a vocal champion of personal prayer.
Prayer, she explained, is not simply or even primarily requesting things of God. To Henny, the purpose of life was to connect to God, and prayer was the means to forge that connection. She once told a campus rabbi to deliver this message to his students: “Everyone has to know that we should talk to God. We have a direct line.”
The screen that hides God can be pierced by the simple act of talking directly to God.
The truth is that God is present always and everywhere, but we human beings are not present to this camouflaged reality. The “hiddenness of God” is a major theme in Judaism. But the screen that hides God can be pierced by the simple act of talking directly to God. That’s why all blessings in the Jewish liturgy start by addressing God in the second person, “Blessed are You…” Especially in these times of quarantine, isolation, and loneliness, the truth that God is always present and always listening can be life-saving.
In Every Situation
Because Henny had absolute faith that God is in complete control (except of human beings’ free-will moral choices), she advocated prayer in every situation. One of her students told this story [from Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup]:
One time I had this crazy issue with my blood pressure. It went sky high. It was before Shabbos, and I was going to have guests. The doctor wanted to put me in the hospital. My blood pressure was 200/170.
Rebbetzin Machlis taught me that I am getting it wrong if I think this is a medical problem. Rather, this is from God, because I am not connecting to Him. I asked the nurse to give me a minute. She thought I was crazy. I started to daven, “God this is from You. God, You know I need to be home. Please, God, I need to be home. I know this is from You. I know it’s You.”
Then I said to the nurse, “Take it again.” They took my blood pressure again, and it was 120/60. The nurse called the doctor because she couldn’t believe it. I told her my Rebbetzin said, “We just need to connect to God.”
While we may think that prayer is a response to difficult situations, Henny inverted that idea. She taught that God gives us difficult situations so that we will turn to Him in prayer.
During the last eight years of her life, Henny suffered from cancer. Many times, she travelled from her home in Jerusalem to New York to undergo treatments and surgeries at Sloan Kettering, the premiere cancer hospital in Manhattan. She was always accompanied, often by as many as three of her grown children. Her daughter Sara relates:
When we’d be at Sloan Kettering, my mother would say, "Why do you think God keeps bringing us back here? Because we have to daven for all the people who are here.” Each one of us had her own job. One had to daven for the sick people, one had to daven for the lost Jewish souls there. People thought we were crazy. Why are there three bodyguards coming with this sick lady? Some people come alone. But each one had a job of whom to doven for. We were in the hospital for hours and hours and we each had our job of whom to doven for.
This is a profound idea: Because the purpose of life is to connect to God, God gives us challenges, frustrations, and lacks so that we will turn to God in prayer. And because God controls both the major and minor events in our lives, every moment is an opportunity to make that connection. One of the Talmudic sages said that we should ask God even when we need a shoelace. A student of Henny relates:
I have a 12-year old son who is PDD, on the autism spectrum. Before Rosh Hashana, he told us he couldn’t keep two days of Rosh Hashanah unless he has a Rubik’s cube. This was 15 minutes before Yom Tov.
I went around to all the neighbors. Every neighbor I asked had a Rubik’s cube, but they wouldn’t give it to me. I was thinking, “We need our son to observe Rosh Hashanah.” They all know my son, but God was not letting them give it to me.
The first day of Rosh Hashanah came, and my son told me again, “I need a Rubik’s cube; I have nothing to do.” I went to other neighbors and asked them, but I came away empty-handed. In the afternoon, I walked to my neighbor’s house and I saw her kids playing with a Rubik’s cube. But she couldn’t loan it to me because it wasn’t theirs. No one would loan us their Rubik’s cube.
I thought, “This is crazy.” Then I finally I got it. God wanted me to ask HIM for the Rubik’s cube!
I spoke to God, “If YOU want me to have a Rubik’s cube, please give me one. You’ll have to get it for me. My son needs it. Please give me a Rubik’s cube.” I walked out the door and ran into a friend on the steps. I asked her, and she had a Rubik’s cube in her apartment. She immediately ran and got it and lent it to me.
Speaking to God throughout the Day
Henny advocated and practiced two kinds of personal prayer. The first kind is to speak to God throughout the day, whatever you are doing. When washing the dishes, folding laundry, exercising, walking, or driving, you can be speaking to God. When busy people told her that they didn’t have time to recite the prayers from the siddur, she would tell them to just speak to God all the time. “Even if you wake up at night to turn from left to right,” she counselled, “talk to God.” As she taught her students:
You're trying to have a relationship with God, and you do that through prayer. But it depends on the circumstances. If a person is so busy with their house and job … you have to learn to talk to God in your own words. Say to Him, “I love You,” or “I want to love You,” or “Help me love You.”
During the current pandemic, we are beset by fears—fears of contracting the disease itself and fears of the economic and political fall-out of the plague. The antidote to fear is the combination of emunah and prayer. Both ingredients are essential. The more you believe that God is in control and the more you empower yourself with the knowledge that prayer is a direct line to God, the more “miracles” you will see. As Henny taught, “When we pray, we are moving worlds.”
What should you say when speaking to God? The classic Duties of the Heart maintains that human beings are either in wanting mode or thanking mode. Of course, thanking mode is more conducive of satisfaction and happiness. As you’re getting dressed, you can thank God that the shirt you’re putting on comes from cotton you didn’t grow, thread you didn’t spin, fabric you didn’t weave made on machines you didn’t design or produce, etc., but here is this good shirt for you to wear. Thank you, God!
One-On-One with God
The second kind of personal prayer that Henny strongly advocated was to set aside time, go outside, and talk out loud to God. Start with five minutes, she would teach, and gradually increase your time. This is called hitboddedut. It differs from talking to God throughout the day because during hitboddedut you are not multi-tasking. During this special time, you have a private audience with the Master of the Universe.
Speaking out loud, start by thanking God for two minutes, and then talk to Him about whatever’s on your mind. But, cautions Rabbi Shalom Arush, God dislikes whining. Notice the difference between this:
“God, I can’t stand it! I can’t pay my bills due to Covid-19. I lost my job and there’s no possibility of a new job in my field. How can this be happening? I’m feeling desperate!”
And this:
“God, I know You are in complete control, and that You love me and always do what’s spiritually best for me. I know You are in control of Covid-19, although I don’t understand the Divine plan that allowed this pandemic to strike the world. But now I need to pay my bills, and I lost my job. So please send me the money to pay my bills. I know You can send me a new job, or You can send me money in many other ways.”
Henny would tell a parable about a doctor who had the night shift at a hospital. The hospital was short of staff and had only that one doctor on duty. However, he was told that if he got overwhelmed and needed help, he should call in and they would send additional staff. The doctor worked selflessly throughout the night. It got very busy, and he ran from patient to patient. Unfortunately, one patient died. The doctor was sued. He told the court that he didn’t understand why he was there because he gave literally everything he had to keep the hospital running that night. The judge told him that he wasn’t at fault for trying to help all the patients; he was at fault for not asking for help.
“So,” explains a student, “the Rebbetzin would tell us to ask God for help, that we needed to go out and call out to God. Tell Him what you’re struggling with. You need to say out loud all of the issues you are struggling with and say, ‘God, you made me this way.’ Ask God to change you in these areas.”
There’s no room for sadness, and there's no room for despair. There's only room for prayer. And we can't be lazy.
Because the purpose of prayer is to draw you closer to God, even when the request is denied, as it may be, the prayer is successful. It has taken you from being a vulnerable person drowning in an ocean of randomness and meaninglessness to landing safely on a shore where the One who most loves you is present and caring for you in inscrutable ways.
Covid-19 has brought rising domestic abuse, depression, and anxiety. All of these can be ameliorated by emunah and prayer, by recognizing that you are not alone, that God is intimately present with you. As Rebbetzin Henny Machlis used to say, “There’s no room for sadness, and there's no room for despair. There's only room for prayer. And we can't be lazy. We have to force it out of ourselves. When we need help, we have to ask God for everything from the parking space to not yelling at your child or your husband. We need help. We need help. … God wants to hear from you.”
*The 5th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Henny Machlis falls this year on Tuesday night/Wednesday, Oct. 20/21. If you have been inspired by her, please light a candle for Henna Rasha bat Moshe Chaim.
(32) Anonymous, October 31, 2020 1:49 PM
A COVID- MARTINI......
FOR THE JEW- STIRRED, BUT NOT SHAKEN
STAY STRONG....
(31) Ana Rocha, October 30, 2020 6:54 PM
Thank you Dear YHWH for this article! Thank you the person who wrote it, may you be very blessed. Shabbat Shalom from Portugal.
(30) Anonymous, October 29, 2020 12:53 PM
Thank You
I read this more than a week too late to light a candle for Henny Machlis on her yohrtzeit--
But you, Mrs. Rigler, have lit a candle of hope and optimism in many hearts and minds, by transmitting Henny's message to us about EXACTLY what to do when things are rough and we feel ineffective, or even (chas v'shalom) hopeless, about doing anything to improve the situation. Thank you, and yasher koach for using your tremendous gift of writing to illuminate our minds and our lives.
(29) David Bogart, October 28, 2020 7:00 PM
Seeing Henny's image took my breath away: both in grief & joy
Henny smile was infectious and when I opened the Aish email I nearly fell off my chair to see her smiling from shock, grief and joy in having been part of her life. Rav Mordecai and Rebbitzin Henny became my Israeli family years ago - 1979-1980 while in Ohr Somayach. The warmth, kindness and dedication to Clal Yisrael and love HaShem was a wonder. There are many stories. On one Shabbos, Rav Mordecai and I walked to the Kotel through the Damascus Gate. It was very windy and the Rav wrapped his tallis around his head and shoulders similar to a Kafia. As we passed Arabs he greeted them with a hearty salem aleikem! At the Kotel we met a Federation group of 30. Rav Mordecai invited them home for Shabbos lunch. They walked with us back to Ma'alot Dafna. Rav Mordecai told me to run ahead to let Henny know of the very large number of additional folks (Back in those days, Shabbos dinners and lunches held maybe 10 to 15 people. They hadn't moved to their new and larger apartment where they could accommodate upwards of 70 in their salon). I arrived and excitedly told Henny we had 30 more people coming. Her reaction? Absolutely joyful, she said, we better cut the gefilte fish into thirds! and set up some more tables and chairs. It was a special meal where the ladies of the group could not express their gratefulness enough. In fact most couldn't believe Henny was happy about all of them being there. But she was and hugged each women. Rav Mordecai sang, gave divrei Torah and asked each person to give a minute or two about why they were in Israel or what had been meaningful for them in their trip or what they had learned. He also told them they were in "east" Jerusalem and that they should know all the Jews living in that area is what the Arabs want returned. They both spoke about how personal and special the Land of Israel is to the Jewish People and that the City of Jerusalem should never be divided again. May Henny's neshama be elevated on High!
(28) Devorah Deutsch, October 27, 2020 4:41 AM
Henny Machlis--an amazing human being!
This was one article that was inspirational in every single way.
She was one amazing woman!
She has an incredible family!
I wish I could have known her.
May she enjoy a lichtiga Gan Eden!
(27) Ada Apfelbaum, October 26, 2020 11:13 AM
Excellent reminder!
I loved the book about Henny Machlis a"h and this article was a perfect reminder of our need to strengthen our relationship with Hashem and to just talk to Him! Thank you Sara for your beautifully written article, with words that I so needed to hear right now.
(26) Reizel, October 26, 2020 10:35 AM
This was an eyes opening statement about nature and God
Although God works (most of the time) through the laws of nature that God has set up, the Divine will is responsive to prayer. This leads us to the second ingredient in Henny’s “Good-for-any-crisis” recipe: personal prayer. I was praying to God to help my daughter to be fruitful and multiply. And asked to take my neshame for the little one. And my daughter has a son, I have grandson. Thank You God
(25) Anonymous, October 24, 2020 3:13 AM
Blessed
I was so blessed by reading this article! I’m a prayer warrior for others. So this encourages me to not be so formal, but talk to God any/ every time to talk to Him for myself too. Thank you so much!
(24) Anonymous, October 23, 2020 7:36 PM
Amen!
(23) Lisa haller, October 23, 2020 11:10 AM
Love this
Hi Sara this is such an inspiring article and you are a wonderful writer. Thank YOU!!
(22) Sara, October 23, 2020 9:00 AM
Thank you HaShem for the light of Henny Machlis that keeps shining and showing us how to circumnavigate our world and lives. I was so moved by the book Emunah with love and chicken soup and even now in this time of COVID she’s helping us all. May her neshama have an Aliyah from us all who heed her insights and example.
(21) Miriam, October 23, 2020 5:46 AM
Wonderful
Excellent article, all there is ,its to glue with Hashem
(20) Anonymous, October 22, 2020 11:27 PM
Lovely article! Thank you Sara!
(19) Jeanette Weinschel, October 22, 2020 12:38 PM
very inspiring
wonderful article, we needed to hear from Reb Machlis a"h again, I was one of her students and loved being in her presence
(18) Nechama Rahamim, October 22, 2020 11:01 AM
Excellent book and article!!
Thank you for writing so eloquently Henny's teachings to the world. Your power of writing is touching sooo many. What an amazing article--taking the teachings of Henny Machlis and plugging it into the current pandemic. What a mitzva you did by not only writing such an incredible book about such an incredible woman, but making it practical and useful for us for now, and EVERYDAY!
(17) Sarah, October 21, 2020 4:28 PM
Thanks for a perfect reminder!
Just a few days ago I was telling my daughter that I'm switching from meditation to hitbodedut... Meditation helped me more than 40 years ago in my search for G-d, but right now I feel I must start taking hitbodedut seriously.
Regarding rav Arush, some months ago I was having constant stomach aches/. I started thanking HaShem for the pain, telling Him that I knew He was sending them for my benefit, even if I didn't understand why. And then I'd ask Him to help me get well, so I could also thank Him for it. And one day I realized that I had no more pain!
(16) Yael Musheyev, October 21, 2020 1:23 PM
Wow so his was amazing I learned so much
(15) Errol, October 21, 2020 10:28 AM
Hidbodidus
So tru just talk to HaShem daily . Don’t be afraid he listens and has his reasons for what you are going through . Just thank him for everything even if it’s a bad thing you are going through. All thing come right in the end.
(14) Jessica Stockman, October 21, 2020 6:57 AM
Thank you so much for this inspiring reminder from your beautiful book about Henny Machlis! We know she has a special place in the next world. May her memory inspire all of Klal Yisrael and may her neshama have an even higher aliya.
(13) Anonymous, October 21, 2020 2:56 AM
Thank you!
I needed to hear this message. And am so happy that I saw this so I could light a candle on the Rebbetzin Henny Machlis' yarzheit.
(12) Anonymous, October 20, 2020 9:52 PM
Lighting with you, Sara, thank you.
(11) Mark, October 20, 2020 7:03 PM
Thanx
Ty for the article it gave me another piece of the puzzle with my relationship with Hashem....B"H
(10) Anonymous, October 20, 2020 7:02 PM
Very Meaningful
I had been struggling with a very challenging family situation when the pandemic began. The plague exacerbated everything that I have been dealing with. This article offered a new approach. Although I had been praying I will now speak to G-d instead of ruminating and complaining. Thank you for this very meaningful article.
(9) Bina, October 20, 2020 6:22 PM
Inspiring!
Let her be a gite baiter for all of us during these Time of uncertainty and lack of unity! For those who need inspiration; it is a message of never to lose hope. Emunah and Bitachon that HaShem is with you all the time, just seek Him!
(8) Michael James Frederick, October 20, 2020 4:29 PM
Blessings & Emuna
I've been to Jerusalem many times. I would go to the Kotel and get an invite to their home. Several times for Sukkot. I was always humbled by the Rabbi and the Rebetzin. I've lighted a candle for her. G-d rest her soul. Baruch HaShem...
(7) Anonymous, October 20, 2020 3:52 PM
thank you
A message directly from Henny. Thank you so much for writing this and publishing this just before her yarhzeheit and calling that to our attention so that we can light a candle and give tzedakah in her blessed memory. May H' bless us all
(6) Ahuva Artzi, October 20, 2020 3:41 PM
ALLOWED the pandemic?
I wonder why we would say He allowed the pandemic to strike the world. Don't we know only He could have created it and specifically sent it to each and every address?
Anonymous, October 22, 2020 9:22 AM
I know You are in control of Covid-19
Did you read the sentence right before?
Did you read any other line in the article which specifically repeats over and over that Hashem is in charge and running our life and world?
The sentence of "allowing" is a figure of speach of how Hashem presents events in the world while hiding His face.
(5) Rachel Shillingford, October 20, 2020 2:26 PM
when should we light the candle? friday night?
Please advise when we should be lighting a candle for Hennie
Sara Rigler, October 20, 2020 2:37 PM
Tonight, Tuesday night
(4) Stephanie Grace Alber, October 20, 2020 1:39 PM
more SY Rigler articles
Sara Yocheved Rigler's articles on aish.com are always my favorites and always appropriate for the moment. This one is no exception. Please publish more of her work if you can!
(3) Barrie Feld, October 19, 2020 4:52 PM
AWESOME!!!!!
BEYOND MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!! Thank You Sara Yocheved!!!!! EVERYONE Person Needs to Read this!! I’m BEYOND Grateful for Your Gorgeous words!!!!!
(2) Reuven Frank, October 19, 2020 2:41 PM
I can see it
I was fortunate enough to meet Rebbitzen Machlis many times, in her home, for Shabbos meals.
Although I always got a sense of her devotion to God, I never got the sense of her belief in Him that I got from reading this article.
On the other hand, thinking back, I remember all the times I went to her home and she wasn't there. I realize now that she must have been at Sloan-Kettering most of those times.
Knowing how strong her dedication was to her guests, I can easily understand her devotion to God.
I wish HaRav Mordechai shlit"and all the Machlis extended family comfort in the knowledge that now, "Henny" can speak directly to God, on their behalf, all the time.
Thank you for a wonderful article.
(1) Anonymous, October 19, 2020 2:34 PM
Thank you
Needed this so badly this morning. Between having kids on zoom school and others kids needing to be in erratic places at different times of the day all while trying to hold down my job I am feeling utterly stressed out by this Corona pandemic. I opened up my aish email to try to decompress and here’s an article talking directly to me. I’ve been yelling at my kids all morning and not once did I ask HaShem to help me. I own the book about Henny and enjoyed it immensely. Thank you Sarah yocheved rigler for the book and this article and the reminder to turn to hashem when things get stressful.
Anonymous, October 21, 2020 3:41 AM
May things get easier for you soon! You are not alone.