It’s that time of year again – academia is sending forth another generation of graduates.
In time-honored tradition, prominent guest speakers launch them out into the world with words of wisdom meant to inspire the young men and women ready to begin their careers.
I love to read synopses of these contemporary guides to the perplexed. Many of them are merely clichés dressed up in fancy clothes. But some are truly profound messages that bear listening to, not only by the graduates starting out in life but all of us as well.
And this year I struck gold. One of the guest speakers, addressing those getting their degrees at the College of William and Mary, illustrated an idea that long-ago changed my life. Speaking from the perspective of an extremely successful businessman, he echoed a concept that my teacher shared with me many years ago.
I was a very young boy and I didn't understand something we learned about Moses. The Torah tells us Moses was "heavy of speech and heavy of tongue;" he had a speech defect. Here was the man destined to be the greatest leader of the Jewish people, the Rabbi par excellence, whose stuttering should have made him as unsuitable for his role as the English monarch in the recent Oscar winning movie, The King's Speech. King George VI had to be helped in order to properly serve as monarch. Yet Moses remained with his disability.
"Since God can do anything," I asked my teacher, "why didn't He heal Moses?"
As all good teachers do, my rabbi first complimented me on raising a very interesting difficulty. He told me that many commentators address the issue, with a host of different answers, and as I get older I would be able to choose from among these various replies. He shared with me the answer that he personally preferred, and told me to always keep it in mind in how I relate to God with my problems in the future.
Yes, Moses would have been far better off had he had the gift of eloquence in addition to all of his other virtues. His stuttering was a disability and of course God could have easily removed this stigma. So why didn't He?
Because Moses never asked.
In all his humility, Moses didn't feel worthy of making the request. And God wanted to show us by way of His dealings with the greatest Jew in history that the prerequisite for His answering our prayers is for us to verbalize them.
Never be afraid to ask anything of God, my teacher concluded. If you're withholding a request because you think it's too much to ask for, that's an insult to the Almighty, almost as if you're implying it's too hard for Him to accomplish. If God wants to say no, that's up to Him. Your role is to make clear you believe in His power to accomplish anything, no matter how difficult.
Learn to ask is the message I internalized.
Think Big
Which is why I found the graduation address given by Joseph J. Plumeri, the chief executive of Willis Group Holdings, so fascinating.
He began by asking the students whether they heard of this big building in Chicago called the Sears Tower. Of course they all had. He reminded them that it's the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. And then he shared with them how some years ago he told people that he was going to rename it the Willis Tower.
People laughed at him, telling him it's impossible. The name Sears had been there since 1973. "Who are you to come along and change the name?" they said to him,
He told them that Sears hadn't been in the building since 1993. He then met with the owner of the building which was 20% vacant and said, "I need 2% of the space." He negotiated the price and when the owner asked, "Do we have a deal?" he told him, "Almost, except for one small thing. Your name is a jinx. You need a new name, a vibrant name, a name that signifies the future, not the past. I want to change it."
"When we dedicated that building," Joseph Plumeri said, concluding his speech, "I was on the evening news with Brian Williams and he said to me, 'How, Joe, after so many years it was called the Sears Tower, how did you get them to change the name to Willis?' And I looked into the camera and I said, 'I asked.'"
When I had the wisdom to ask, God showed me He had the will to answer.
One of the classic Yiddish folk tales by Isaac Leib Peretz is the story of Bontsha the Silent. Heartbreaking in its depiction of a truly saintly soul who is unaware of his goodness, it describes the scene in heaven when Bontsha appears for his final judgment. The angel speaking on his behalf records all of his pious deeds. Bontsha has always suffered in silence. Mistreated throughout his lifetime, Bontsha never complained or questioned God's ways. The heavenly court could find no fault with him. The prosecutor is speechless, he too unable to find a single blemish in Bontsha’s life.
The heavenly court comes to a unanimous decision: "Everything in paradise is yours. Choose. Take what you want, whatever you desire. You will only take what is yours by right."
The story closes:
“Well then,” - and Bontsha smiles for the first time – “well then, what I would like, your Excellency, is to have for breakfast every morning a hot roll with fresh butter."
As great as Bontsha was, life had beaten him down so he no longer knew how to dream. His tragedy was a tragedy that many of us replicate in our own lives when our aspirations become so diminished that we don't dare to hope for more than hot rolls and butter.
We are all children of God. We have Someone in heaven Who cares for us deeply. Our mistake all too often is not that we seek too much from the Almighty but that we don't have the sense to ask Him for enough.
When we are troubled and our difficulties seem insurmountable, we should ask Him to intervene.
When we need help in a situation that seems humanly impossible to be resolved, we should ask Him to get involved.
When we suffer and feel helpless, we should seek out the One who promised to come to the aid of all those who have no one else to turn to and ask for His assistance.
I have learned this lesson well from my own personal experience: When I had the wisdom to ask, God showed me He had the will to answer.
(23) Kathleen Dahnke Nottestad, May 2, 2016 12:41 AM
I'll know the reason WHY? Too!
when I was a small child I know I was hard to understand exactly what I was saying. When in grade school I was taken out to go to speech lessons. I very seldom spoke unless at home - in fact I wasn't aware that a problem exsisted - my family understood what I said. I disliked having to leave class for these sessions. I had to miss what the others were learning and I was NOT a happy child when trying to do what the teacher was determined I could do. one day I guess she decided today was the day I was going to say my th correctly or she would know the reason why! long story short - it was impossible the teacher was in tears as was I but she said put your tongue on the back of your top front teeth. I couldn't it was impossible for I was tongue tied. well she did know the reason why NOW! MY Mother took me to a doctor who cut the thin cord under my tongue and I could now say the TH sound and others without any problem. I understand it's
sometimes is the truth when someone says they can't do this that or the other thing. just because you and you can doesn't equate to everyone being able to.
(22) David Benkof, August 5, 2015 10:39 AM
You misinterpreted Bontsha the Silent
Wow, you really missed the point of Peretz's short story. Contrary what you wrote, the story does NOT end with Bontsha asking for a roll with butter. It ends with the prosecutor laughing out loud, "a bitter laugh." That line is crucial to understanding the story.
Peretz does not consider Bontsha a hero. The story is critiquing him for BEING silent and suffering rather than standing up for himself. It shows how a luftmensch like Bontsha not only couldn't stand up for himself in life, he's so pathetic that even when he gets to Heaven and he's offered whatever he wants, he doesn't know what to ask for.
(21) Anonymous, August 11, 2013 7:24 PM
Wonderful article
This article made me extremely happy to read. I loved the Bontsha story, it was an amazing eye opener.
(20) Alan, July 30, 2011 4:13 PM
If Moses didn't have this disability God wouldn't have been able to use him. It took Moses 40 years in the wilderness to get cleansed of the learning of man to become weak enough to where God could use him. That's just where God wanted him so He could use him. He can use us after we get weak in ourselves so we need to depend on Him. God can't use any of our degrees of higher learning. Like the prophet said, "I'm a man of unclean lips and among unclean people." And the Angel went and got a tongs, and went up to the altar, and got a coal of fire, and touched his lips. Then he cried out, "Lord, here am I; send me." As soon as we can realize that we are nothing but the dust of the earth. God cannot use us. Moses was weaker than any of us but right in the place where God could use him. Think of it. He was one of the most highly educated, most eloquent speakers in the world but God couldn't use him in that condition. He found out he was the deliverer and tried doing it in his own power and ended being a murderer. But after 40 years in the wilderness getting all that man made nonsense out of him, he came back weak in himself but strong in the Spirit of God and destroyed Egypt. But it was with the Power of God using a weak man, not the strong man who left.
(19) Anonymous, July 12, 2011 7:28 AM
thank you
Thank you for this wonderful message. Another eye opener for us... I used your message to our song service format last Saturday.... Thank you very much and may the Lord bless you in all your doings.... More power
(18) Corin, June 25, 2011 9:46 AM
You should ask, but you should know that it is God's will that is done not your own will. IT would be nice for God to fix our issues, but we should pray that he does it of his own accord; that his will be worked through us, not the other way around. I'll ask if I truly believe I need assistance, but usually I just ask God to show me what it is I need to learn from each situation instead of asking God to change my situation, because every situation has a lesson in it to help us grow closer to God; it isn't about prosperity, it is about a relationship with God.
(17) Barbara, June 24, 2011 2:41 PM
personally,I would want to change myself. Moses was less narcissistic.
Two things. It gave Moses an opportunity to seek out his brother Aaron in Egypy, the would be priest. Then it gave the Israelites the opportunity to experience the power of Gods word...Moses himself was a weak vessel. We see he received help from God .
(16) Anonymous, June 22, 2011 11:47 PM
mtulkoff@comcast.net
Very simplistic. I know that G-d did not stop the pain in my mother's back or heal my husband's cancer. Believe me I prayed and asked for help! Let's have a more intellectual discussion of belief and not this rather childish answer.
anon, June 23, 2011 9:14 PM
He never wrote that G-d would answer yes. the theme was to not be afraid to ask. Try not to let your bitterness take out whatever value there is in the article. "who is the wise man, he who learns from all man" You seem to need to work out 'why is there suffering in this world' a whole different article.
(15) Rachel, June 21, 2011 8:40 PM
What is 'healed'?
I wonder if Moses was fine as he was. Maybe his flaw was important to the success of the plan.
Miriam, June 23, 2011 2:10 AM
yes, I think one of the commentaries say that
That he was a perfect utensil to say over the word of G-d because he was such a bad speaker; nothing was imbellished by an excellent salesman: it was the word of G-d, exactly.
(14) saul, June 21, 2011 4:44 PM
Excellent
On the aspect of Moshe's speech impairment, maybe Moshe prayed and His prayers were unanswered. Maybe God wanted to show the world that with a defect, u should overcome it for He has given us the strength if He had given us the problem. Also when Moshe struck the rock instead of speaking, if immediately he had asked for forgiveness and entry in Israel, God would have given into his request, so timing is also important.
(13) Sarah Dinah, June 21, 2011 4:15 AM
This is an issue for me sometimes
I am realizing that often I refuse to ask G-d for what I want because to do so puts me in a humble position, acknowledging that He is the One who can make it happen or not. An important lesson for those of us who, like me, want to be in control of things. Such control is an illusion. I pray that I will be able to break through this difficulty.
(12) larry, June 21, 2011 1:19 AM
It's still the sears tower
Nobody but local news fluffs call it the willis tower. Everyone else in chicago calls it the sears tower. The World Trade Center was a misnomer, but everyone called it that. Same with the s.t. And most sports fans there call the souht side baseball stadium comiskey, regardless of what some mega-corporate flacks want it called. And whom do you thinki you're addrssing here, kindergarteners? Like, "god" is going to grant our wishes because we ask it to? Oh, and Moshe didn't ask, so he went through life a verbal cripple? Yeah, right---now about that Brooklyn Bridge I have for sale---.
Sarah Dinah, June 21, 2011 12:30 PM
The important thing...
is to ask. Too few of us will do so. G-d wants to hear from us.
anonymous, June 21, 2011 5:02 PM
what have you got to lose?
you wrote: "god" is going to grant our wishes because we ask Works for me dozens of times per day. What have you got to lose but your skepticism?
Anonymous, June 23, 2011 2:13 AM
Try it!
Talk to G-d for 5 minutes a day every day for 30 days, asking for one thing. And see what happens. You might be surprised! The Rabbis explain that prayer is like a gate. You can own the palace but if you can't get through the gate you can't get in. G-d might be ready to give you stuff but it first must go through the gate of prayer.
(11) Anonymous, June 20, 2011 4:35 PM
Thank you
A well written thought provoking piece with a profound lesson. I would like to suggest that Moshe prayed he be heard or understood rather than healed, in which case eliminating the speech defect was unnecessary.
(10) Pleasant, June 20, 2011 1:56 PM
Finally
I like your articles that simply address life's issues without pitting one group of jews against another. Thanks. I also believe that one must just ask in order to receive.
(9) Anonymous, June 20, 2011 9:32 AM
G_D, Help me to be the best that you would have me be.
We are under-achievers, because we cannot imagine G-d wants a better future for us. We see the giants, but lack faith in the Torah promises of a loving G_D. Why did G_D say David was a man after his own heart? Chutspah! and child-like faith-relationship with the Melech haolam.
(8) Sharon, June 20, 2011 6:58 AM
Why Moshe didn't ask to be healed
Moshe was created with everything he needed to fulfill his role as leader of the children of Israel. And what he needed was that speech difficulty. And it is even more important for us today to understand that glib talk does not a role model make. In addition to Moshe's complete faith in Hashem that G-d had given him what he needed, Moshe was completely focused on his people and they were the subject of all his prayers so that he didn't consider his own difficulty. When we pray to Hashem we have to think why we require something - whether it is to serve our ego or whether a philanthropic motive is at play. If it is the former only then we might instead need to re-evaluate our "needs."
(7) Rivka, June 19, 2011 8:59 PM
Thank you
Thank you so much for this article. It comes at a perfect time in my life. Sometimes, I feel that I am not worthy enough to be granted anything. This article reminds that I need to ask and it is Hashem's will grant my requst.
(6) Stanley, June 19, 2011 6:04 PM
I'm going to try this
Dear Rabbi, There is something I want really, really badly. It's a good thing (at least it seems that way when other people have it), but I have always felt that for some reason, I am not meant to have it. It's not wealth, as I don't need more than I have. I have asked G-d in various ways to grant me this blessing, but it just doesn't come about. Perhaps that's because, even though I've asked, I haven't felt worthy of it? Now, after reading your article, I'm going to try again. I'm going to insert my request into "Shma koleinu" in the Shmonei Esrei and I'm going to try as hard as I can to believe that even if I'm not worthy, G-d can give me this. Thank you.
(5) Laya, June 19, 2011 2:29 PM
I love this
This article is so inspiring. I just read in a book called "Garden of Peace" that 10 minutes of prayer a day adds up to 60 hours a year! I love these hopeful articles, thank you!
(4) Anonymous, June 19, 2011 1:45 PM
Great article. But knowing how to siwm isn't enough to prefent a double-drowning
As a former certified lifeguard, I must emphasize that knowing how to swim isn't enough to save somebody drowning. One must take necessary precautions to prevent a well-intentioned drowning rescue from turning into a double-drowning. A drowning person is very dangerous, full of adrenalin and out of control. Direct contact is the most dangerous. Using a pole is better, a float on a rope even better. Even better is if it can be extended without entering the water. Better to stay away if not sure how to protect oneself.
(3) claudia deering, June 19, 2011 1:24 PM
I asked he gave
At 21 i was told i was dying. I asked G-d to heal me, give me hope a future. I'm now 57. I'm wanting to get my story published,do a lecture series to inspire others. I'm asking again...I know g-d hears me and will answer again to continue to guide me into this dream of even greater,prosperity,wisdom,hope and future....great word for today!
Anonymous, June 19, 2011 2:03 PM
You don't have to wait
It's amazing to hear that you survived your illness. I want to encourage you to go forward with your dream. You don't have to wait anymore for other people to publish your story. There are many means to self publish now and you could start with lectures in your own community and see where Hashem takes you from there.
(2) Lisa, June 19, 2011 10:21 AM
we are not alone...G-d is waiting for us to ask......
Thank you Rabbi for this message.....our teachers intruct us to daven..sometimes we couldn't make heads or tails of what we were saying........it would have be so inspiring if they told us that we could insert our own personal tefilot....it would have perhaps given us the push so many of us needed to really daven !! So many kids out there either don't daven or don't put their hearts into it because it's too impersonal. Your message is so perfect for today's world.......we have to know that we can & should say our personal message to Hashem......because like you said, we just have to ask!!
(1) Anonymous, June 19, 2011 8:29 AM
TIMELY!
Excellent article.....