My wife, who passed away some weeks ago, was someone who gave and gave and gave to all around her. She will be missed by many. I have spent the last 2 months firstly taking care of her full time and then mourning her. I would like to share with you some of the deep lessons I have learned during this period.
Six weeks before my wife passed away, our oncologist called me in to her office. 'Time is very limited,' she told me. How limited, I wanted to know. 'No more than a few days,' was her response. Well, we had six weeks, six very wonderful weeks and I think we have our oncologist's pessimistic prediction to thank as much as anything else. If you think that someone you love might die tomorrow, you will make sure that you love him or her properly today. If you think that you might die tomorrow, you will make sure that you use today.
The Rabbis tell us to 'do teshuva (mend your ways) the day before you die'. The obvious question is: how does one know? And the response is, so do teshuva every day – for it may be your last.
Death is very much a part of life. Some people are blessed with death arriving slowly and with ample warning. Others die suddenly. But it is a reality that none of us can avoid: we will all die one day.
My wife told me on many occasions that thank God we do not live for a thousand years, because we would not get up in the morning if we did. Who needs to capture the moment if you have a thousand years of moments to capture?
We spent six weeks of intense, quality time – probably more than we would have put into 6 years - no, maybe 6o years, had she been healthy.
Living each day as though it is your last is not morbid. If done properly, it is incredibly uplifting.
Neither she nor I knew whether she would wake up in the morning. But in reality no one knows what will be tomorrow; cancer or no cancer, life is very fickle. Each day of life is an opportunity that we cannot be sure will exist tomorrow. Each day is too precious to be wasted on worry, frustration at ourselves, anger at those we love...
Living each day as though it is your last is not morbid. If done properly, it is incredibly uplifting.
Take a moment today to think of the things you would do if this were your last day. How would you want to love those you love? How would you want to use your time productively? What would you want to share with those around you? What would you want to teach? If these things are important to you, then do them today. Don't wait until time is very limited, because time is always very limited.
EVERY PRAYER GETS ANSWERED
Another lesson I learned is that no matter what, prayers do not go unanswered. Sometimes the answer is positive in the way you asked for it, and sometimes the answer is positive in a way you didn't ask for it. But the answer is always positive.
During shiva, I was struggling to know how to relate to the words we say 3 times in the morning service, 'God is our saviour. Our king will answer us on the day that we call'. Well, I had called and called and called for almost three years. I had cried rainstorms of tears - and I had not been answered. My wife had died.
While her body was a sick as could be, her soul was healthier than anyone I had ever met.
I asked my teacher. He gave me an answer that, after a good amount of thought, feels right to me. God healed my wife - but not in the way I was looking for. The way He healed her was greater than anything I could have imagined. He healed her not physically, but spiritually and I was and am envious of the spiritual health that she attained. A few days before she passed away, she said that for the first time in her life, she truly felt that God loves her. She had always known it, but had never been able to fully feel it. Now she did. She felt at one with God and at one with me. She felt at one with herself and she knew that life really was beautiful. While her body was a sick as could be, her soul was healthier than anyone I had ever met. Even two days before her passing, she said she would not swap places with anyone.
Why couldn't God heal her soul and body at the same time? It's a good question, but we cannot know all of God's ways - or we would be God Himself. So I don't know why both were not possible. But I do know that God healed her. And, if for some reason there had to be a choice between spiritual and physical health, I know which she would have chosen - and I also know which I would have chosen had our roles been reversed. God answered when I called - just not in the way I asked for. But God is not a vending machine. He's a loving caring father with whom we have a dynamic relationship. We pray. He listens, considers and decides how best to respond based on who we are and what we need. His answer is always positive.
NO PRAYER IS WASTED
There is a second aspect to this. Every prayer I said for my wife changed me. It changed my relationship with her. It changed my relationship with myself and, of course, it changed my relationship with God. No prayer was wasted. Each accomplished its mission - that of making me a little more Godly. Each prayer softened my heart and humbled me and I am a very different person today because of the intensity of the prayers I said for my wife.
Judaism maintains that we are here in this world to get closer to God. My wife got closer to God. I got closer to God. I believe our community as well got closer to God. The circumstances and details of the situation were painful, even horrific. It is not the way that either of us wanted it to happen, but the results were what we were looking for. We are complex beings in a complex world. We can't expect to understand every aspect of that world. We don't tell our kids everything and God doesn't tell us everything either. But this we can know: we pray and He answers us. We might not always fully understand his answer, but it is always a loving yes. And we will always be better people for it.
(58) Laura, September 12, 2017 5:50 PM
May the Rosenblatt family always be surrounded by peace and love.
(57) Jordana Schmier, October 31, 2001 12:00 AM
thank you for sharing
Dear Rabbi Rosenblatt,
I grew up with Elana, going to elementary school together, and I am terribly saddened. I am so glad to hear that you and she made these wonderful connections, and you are now communicating these important thoughts. I hope that her memory, as well as her life, continues to be a source of strength to you and your family, and to the rest of us, also.
Jordana
(56) Loni Bryant, October 27, 2001 12:00 AM
God IS MERCIFUL
My niece was told that she would not live to see next week. We prayed to God for healing and mercy for her and her family and for her to see her 38 birthday. It has now been one month and she is still alive and spending quality time with her family and kiving each day as it may be her last. I will share your article with them. God bless you and your family.
(55) Gaye Sullivan, October 18, 2001 12:00 AM
This was a beautiful testimony to your wife.
The quality of life is so much more important than the quantity. I am so thankful that you and your wife had this extra time, no doubt a gift from God.
(54) Anonymous, October 17, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you for sharing.
As I write through the tears my prayer is that I am able to maintain the inspiration I feel from the brief glimpse at the greatness of these people and their awareness of Hashem.
(53) yossi katav, October 14, 2001 12:00 AM
enormously helpful
very comforting to me at the moment, as someone i knew has died. i couldn't understand why god would take the life of a 16 year-old girl so suddenly, but i guess i was looking for the wrong answer to my question.
(52) Jon Sher, October 14, 2001 12:00 AM
The phrase 'Gum Zoo LeTovah" has a new meaning for me.
I first met Rav Shaul in the front_Line dormitory at Aish Hatorah in the Old City. I distinctly remember my first reaction that this 18 year old was the smartest person that I had met to date. Although I did not know Elana, her passing pains me, because it pains him.
(51) Miles Herman, October 13, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you.
I appreciate you taking the effort to share your and your wife's wonderful experience. It has taught me and reminded me of valuable knowledge.
May G-d Bless You.
(50) Anonymous, October 13, 2001 12:00 AM
Inspirational!
Hamakom Yinachem Oscha u'Mishpachticha!
Your article in fact gives enormous strength to all that read it. I know your wife must have been a special woman as her husband seems to be quite special himself! I will IY"H pass this article to many people who will have chizuk reading it.
Yasher Kochacho!
(49) Mike Ogle, October 13, 2001 12:00 AM
Memories of Elana
I enjoyed your article and the scores of responses from others to you. We offer our prayers of comfort to you and the Nation of Israel from across the water in Yakima, Washington:USA
(48) , October 11, 2001 12:00 AM
Hashem is in the details
Dear Rabbi,
I am trully very sorry for your loss.
I, myself, have found out 2 weeks ago that my mother has breast cancer. This has turned my whole world upside down. she had emergency surgery and had her breast removed as a result.
i had always been a very strong believer in Hashem, but this left me with lots of questions and anger for lack of a better word. how can HE do this to a person who gives and gives and gives, as you so beautifully put it. I do believe that everything we go thru in life is for a reason and nothing is a coinsidence. Your article has made me aware that Hashem is with me. I read it at just the right moment, and all the doubt i had ever had, was just erased. had you written your article 3 weeks ago, it would not have as much meaning and would not have touched me at my core being, as it did today. i feel like Hashem is talking to me thru you. as you can see, my reading your article was not just a simple coinsidence of point and click. it was an answer to MY prayers.
Thank you for my realization rabbi. Thank you for writing it.
(47) Joseph Freedland, October 10, 2001 12:00 AM
comfort
Dear Rabbi,
May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
I replied to your first article about your wife on 3/12/00. (My wife passed away two days before Pesach last year.) I'm heartened that you were able to spend time with your wife, and that both of you were able to draw strength from the experience. May her memory always be a blessing to you and to all who knew her.
(46) Diane Johnson, October 9, 2001 12:00 AM
beauty for ashes
What a beautiful legacy came out in the midst of this sorrow. (What double sorrow for those who have no beautiful legacy such as this to share.) A friend of mine once said - people do not stay in your life - it's what they do while they are there that counts. What an uplifting article this was. Thank you for writing it.
(45) , October 9, 2001 12:00 AM
Life is a precious, albeit transient, gift.
A friend and I had a lengthy and sorrowful conversation about the current aura of fear in the U.S. None of us want to believe there could be further terrorist attacks perpetrated on our soil, however, we are constantly wondering and worrying about what the future holds. Before I left, I said to her that we should all live for today, because it's all we've been guaranteed anyway. Every day is a precious gift.
This article served to affirm my previous statements in my heart. Let's stop squandering our precious gift of life and use it to create something good in this world. Or add to the good that already exists. Humankind has so much potential.
Let's show G-d that we care, not only about developing a closer relationship with Him, but about each other.
(44) Rudi Heald, October 9, 2001 12:00 AM
O death where is thy sting
Hosea 13:14 “I will ransom them from the power of She'ol. I will redeem them from death! Death, where are your plagues? She'ol, where is your destruction? Compassion will be hidden from my eyes.”
And in another place.
Psalm 68:18 “You have ascended on high. You have led away captives”
My wife passed away unexpectedly last year at age 35. The most wonderful gift she gave us was the certainty that she was going to be with the Lord. She walked by faith in his promises. We saw the fruits of the Spirit of G-d manifested in her life. She walked daily in the assurance of his promises. When Messiah come, he set the captives free, of his kingdom there shall be no end, he is our redeemer. By faith in the Lord's promises, we will see each other again; Death where is thy sting. I know I will see her again soon, where there are no tears, or sickness. Messiah is coming soon, his nation shall be restored, his temple built!
(43) Joeseph, October 7, 2001 12:00 AM
No age in the spirit
Thank you for sharing a very difficult time of your life. I felt as though your experience was my experience. It strengthened my belief that God always answers prayers. I think that God always replaces the pain with something good and you will know it when it comes. The part of us that becomes one with God is our spirit and that part cannot die. No matter how old our bodies get, the spirit always seems to be young and vibrent. God bless you.
(42) , October 7, 2001 12:00 AM
Tremendous loss
It just pains me that a fellow Aish alumni had to go through such anguish, it is so heartbreaking when someone who dedicates their lives to saving others and then one so close to him passes away it just wrenches my heart and raises some difficult questions of how one who so dedicates his life could get such a judgement especially around this time of year. I just want to say that my heart goes out to all the family as well as the extended Aish family on this terrible tragedy as well as all the terrible tragedies that we are all expieriencing; Hashem should be with us and grant us clarity on all of his hidden acts.
(41) Patricia Franks, October 7, 2001 12:00 AM
Very moving response to a heartbreaking situation.
Courage and faith are illumined in this story.
(40) David Berger, October 6, 2001 12:00 AM
I never thought of God and prayers this way before.
In april 2000,my mother passed away. We were always very close and I miss her more and more each day. I prayed and prayed each day for God to let her live and recover. When she died, I thought God didn't answer my prayers. But upon reading the Rabbi's story, I feel differently now! Some day, I will find out how God did answer my prayers afterall.
(39) Glory Cribb, October 5, 2001 12:00 AM
spirituality odysseys
Thank you so much Rabbi Shaul Rasenblatt for sharing of your beautiful wife Elana. I lost my father-in-law this past Sunday and this will help my mother-in-law so much. Thank you again for sharing. Glory
(38) Rob Mahaffy, October 5, 2001 12:00 AM
Very uplifting
I am so sorry to read of your loss. Your article definetely helped me put things in a better perspective given the events of the last few weeks. I wish you peace.
Rob
(37) Joan Estick, October 5, 2001 12:00 AM
Great Inspiration to me and my husband
Thank God for this testimony. It is in deed sad to lose someone so dear, but the lessons learnt are life lasting and for such a lesson to be shared with us is really a wonderful gift to all who come accross it. I am sure he is more strenthened to take on life now. May God truly bless him.
(36) , October 5, 2001 12:00 AM
Hi! I am 17 years old, and the only thing that I cant tell you is :Thank You!
This story opened my heart, Now I can see that every thing that God does is positive, and the most important thing that I learned was that God ALWAYS listen to our prayers!! This is something very important to me, because I dont pray (from sidur) every day, but I pray my own personal prayers every day, every minute.. and now I know that God listen to them, and always answered!!
Thank you, and God bless all your family and you with all good things in the world!
oh, sorry about my english, but I live in Brazil, so I dont know to write and speak very weel in your lenguage!!
(35) Mark Helms, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
A very warm story
I am sorry you lost such a wonderful woman and yet am blessed to see your faith in God still intact.Although we share different faiths (I am a christian)I respect your faith and you for sharing this story.
(34) Anonymous, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
May G-d comfort you and all the mourners of Zion. Thank you for sharing this extremely personal and touching story about your beautiful, precious Elana... it was a privilege to read this. It sounds as if she was more neshama than guf - more soul than body - as time passed... she could see more clearly and so could you. So could we readers by the end of the article. thank you for highlighting what is truly of essence.
(33) Anonymous, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
Comforting To Me
My husband died of cancer in August, and this article was very meaningful
(32) Daniel Benisty, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
Inspired & Impressed
Shaul,
Despite my preconceptions of the strength of belief that all Rabbis must posess and endure to live through hardship and help others do the same and despite my appreciation of you from afar as the leader of my local Jewish channel of identity revival where it is taught that the protocols of the spiritual supercede their counterparts of the physical, I have to say that reading this article has further surprised, inspired and impressed me. I cannot speak for others, that would be wrong. But it is clear to me, that you have a wonderfully developed awareness for the depth and beauty of spirituality, that doubtless, despite your more youthful experiences, your wonderful late wife (whom alas I never met) helped to cultivate. Now, Hashem, our community and life-its-very self exhort you to redirect these massive feelings to leading a young family, and, in some ways, an even younger community towards some kind of spiritual Enlightenment that brings us closer to the time of Moshiach.
God be with you and your family now, and in the always arriving sunshine of your life.
Daniel
(31) Yaakov Wise, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
Let us do something positive to remember Elana, ah
17 years ago I arrived at Yeshivat Aish Hatorah and met a cheeky, young teenage scouser (someone from Liverpool). He was called Steve Rosenblatt and he was one of a gang of four - inevitably they were known as "The Beatles." Many years later he visited my home in Manchester, a young rabbi now called Shaul; full of enthusiasm, optimism and naivity (well he still wasn't that old). And now behold - a Tsaddik and Gaon Olam (one of the great men of his generation). Of course even we who never met his wife, the tseddekes, grieve for him, his children and most for ourselves - that we, the insignificant, have lost a teacher and role model. But there is a way to ensure she fulfils the saying of chazal - the righteous are greater in death than they are in life. My wife and I are associated with a national breast cancer charity which funds research and community services not covered by the NHS. We are prepared to recommend to the trustees a project to be dedicated to the memory of Rebbetzin Elana, ah. Suggestions should be sent to me at yaakovwise@msn.com. May Hashem spare us from further grief and bring us quickly into the Beis Hamikdosh Hashlishi (Temple of Jerusalem)where the blind will see, the sick will be healed and the lame will walk upright. Amen.
(30) Rev. DeWayne GoLightly, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
God always knows whats best, and Proverbs tells us not to lean to our own understanding.
I am moved by your courage in your hour of loss, and blessed to know that the closer your wife was drawing to God, so were you. So often, its not the case when our loved ones are transitioning from this life to the next. Your story was very revealing and touching and I've been blessed to read it and I will share it with my wife...so when our earthly journey comes to a close, we can find comfort in your words and your experience and know that the God we serve always answers our prayers and knows whats best for all. Thanks again
(29) Anonymous, October 4, 2001 12:00 AM
Love and appreciation.
We have both come to love and appreciate each other more and treasure our moments together.
Akiva & Hinde Gordon
(28) Cris, October 3, 2001 12:00 AM
Hashem be praised, for He is truely good!
I am so blessed to read these encouraging words from this Rabbi. I have spoken to another Rabbi recently who told me that he believed Hashem did not answer prayers at all. I respectfully thought otherwise and my heart is truly warmed by the words spoken by this Rabbi in this article.
He is right. Hashem ALWAYS listens to our prayers. Just because we don't see the results that we look for in our pre-conceived notion of His response doesn't mean that He hasn't heard our cry out to Him. I once read that the very fact that we pray, is indeed the response itself. When we see the obvious results in this instance, it certainly appears to be true.
Shalom.
(27) Gary Silverman, October 3, 2001 12:00 AM
I am struggling with this...belief or rationalization?
At bottom, this article never deals with the notion G-d is just. How is this just?
(26) Anonymous, October 3, 2001 12:00 AM
wow!!!!
What a level of emunah and bitachon this Rabbi has attained!!! How comforting and inspirational to know that G-Ds answer is always YES! but that we don't always understand the yes. Thank you for helping me deal with my own struggle about tefillah and G-Ds replies. It amazes me how this Rabbi has totally erased any feelings of anger or distress from his life. It would be profound to know what the secret is?!
(25) Anonymous, October 3, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you for your uplifting comments.
Thank you for sharing your feelings, thoughts and insights. I learned something very valuable from you about healing. I want to offer my deepest condolences to you on your wife's death. May her memory be for a blessing.
(24) Anonymous, October 3, 2001 12:00 AM
This is a beautiful story of strength and triumph I cried at it's candour and nobility
I am still crying after reading this after being so touched by this man's great faith. What a blessing to find such truth and beauty in such a difficult and sad time. It has made me realise how selfish I am, how despite having made a form of "teshuvah" to Judaism, my true faith, there is always scope to change more. I am still crying.
Shalom
Natania
(23) Sara Rigler, October 2, 2001 12:00 AM
Such amazing "spiritual health"
Rabbi Rosenblatt writes of the "spiritual health" his wife, of blessed memory, attained. Standing at her funeral, listening to the stories of her selfless, giving acts, even to the very end, I was blown away by the spiritual attainments of this young woman. It was the first time at a funeral that I actually envied the departed--for the spiritual greatness she achieved in a mere 28 years. May her memory continue to inspire all of us whom came to know Elana z"l through aish.com, and may Hashem console Rabbi Rosenblatt and his children.
(22) Leah Lowy, October 2, 2001 12:00 AM
I wish I had the relationship with Hashem like you have
You say that you envy/ envied the spiritual level Elana attained. I know for a fact that your level is also truly admirable. I am so grateful to have lived with you and my beloved fiend Elana for a few months (before this horible sickness started). Your clear mind and strength of doing what was right, and Elana's pure love of all people and constant smile, influenced me deeply. I had to tear myself away to leave. I had the opportunity to be at the leviya, and people normally say "there was not a dry eye". How about, what I say about Elana Golda's leviya, "THERE WAS NOT AN EYE THAT WAS NOT SOBBING" (and sobbing...). Including what seemed like hundreds of people, men, rabbis, women.
There is so much I can say about how amazing Elana was through this. But I do not want to be repetitive.
may Hashem give you the strength to pull your family through this.
Love Leah (Laura)
(21) Valerie Katz, October 2, 2001 12:00 AM
Enjoyed your article very much-sorry for your loss
After the events of Sept. 11th, many of us paused to reflect on how we would feel if a loved one died. We were made aware of the fact that life could end at any moment & we should not have any resolved issues with family and/or friends. We should live each day not only to the fullest but always tell each other how much we appreciate and love them because we never know if this goodbye will be the last goodbye.
It is said that it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved before. This is, I'm sure of little comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. I am sure that the last 6 weeks were the most rich of times a couple could have spent together & it's a mitzvah we should all try to emulate every day of our relationships.
Thank you.
(20) Lydia Eckstein, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
I know what it means to be without a spouse, I lost my husband 5 years ago from ALS. It is a lonely world out there. Please keep it touch. Please e-mail me back. Take care.
(19) Anonymous, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
standing on holy ground
What a beautiful and touching story. I learned from the death of my 22 year old son (and his birth)that to be present as a soul enters this earthly plane and as it leaves this earthly plane is to be standing on holy ground. Amazing that such a privilege could be ours.
(18) Anonymous, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
condolences
My condolences on the loss of your wife. Your story puts things in perspective.
(17) Anonymous, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
What an Inspiration
Rabbi, May Hashem comfort you in your loss, and please know that the time you took to write of Elana brought me closer to Hashem. I have been struggling with health problems for a year now and have just recently made peace with the fact that Hashem's ways are not my ways - or my doctors' ways! May we all be privledged to grow spriritually through our adversisties. May Elana's memory be for a blessing.
(16) Anonymous, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
thank you
we always need reminders and i thank you for sharing this one with me everything shared in this piece was beautiful, inspiring, and so true
chag sameach!
(15) Simi, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
Inspired by Elana
Rabbi Rosenblatt,
My condolences to you and your family. I just want you to know that your wife inspired many people here on the Upper West Side. I heard her speak at Aish New York about a year ago. Almost every day since then, I have davened for a refuah shleimah for Ruchama Elana Golda bat Chana. I know many others have done the same. We have done so because she touched us -- not through the sadness of her situation, but through her tremendous optimism. She has left a spiritual legacy to you, your children, and your community, which extends across the ocean. As it has the past year, my memory of your wife will continue to inspire me all of my days.
With kind regards,
Simi
(14) Tzipporah Saunders, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
The Rabbi who lost his wife, Elana
First, my condolences to the rabbi on the loss of his beloved wife. Second, the article was very uplifting and made me think about how our prayers and wishes are answered. Like he said, the answer is always positive, for our best. I have seen this in my own life. A few years ago, I was being considered for a syndicated columnist's slot. It was something I had hoped for and a plum position for anyone who wants to be a columnist. It was even an honor just to be considered. A few days before the answer arrived, I thought that I wasn't ready for the responsibility as too many things in my life were not working together at that time, and I knew that I didn't have the support I neeeded to make a go of it at the time. A few days later, a letter arrived saying that I had not been chosen. I was upset but secretly relieved. Today I hope to have a similar or an even better opportunity ahead when things are working more smoothly on all fronts.
Thank you, Rabbi, for your touching article.
Tzipporah Saunders
(13) Dina, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
I Admire Your Strength - What A Lesson !
Rabbi Rosenblatt, Firstly, my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your inspriring last weeks with your very precious wife, a'h. She obviously was a gem and thank G-d she had you for a loyal husband. Your both are truly an inspiration to our people, who have been going through a difficult Pre-Moshiach stage, which we pray will become a very joyous time for all Jews! May you continue to grow, and as you perform each and every mitzvah, may it be uplifting to your wife's neshamah(soul). Have a blessed holiday and all the best to your family, and to all of Klal Yisroel (the Jewish nation).
(12) Pat Ivy, October 1, 2001 12:00 AM
Sir, I read your e-mail and my heart and prayer reaches out to you. I lost my husband to cancer four years ago, and the lost has been almost more than I could carry, until I realized how much God loved him too, and must have had need of him. You are right - God is everything, God does has a positive and perfect reason for the betterment of His People. Elana, is surely resting in the presence of our God. You are in my prayers, and thank you for such a lovely writing and God Bless You as you continue to walk in His path. Peace, Pat Ivy
(11) Anonymous, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you for inspiring me. Sometimes people think that they are having hard time, but when they face with the problems of other people they realize that there is exit from each situation.Thanks for giving us wonderful clarity.
(10) Gabe Jacknin, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Everything we need to hear always. Beautiful, inspiring, and moving.
(9) milton blau, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
I share your thoughts as my wife passed away on Fri. before Rosh Hoshana
My wife , Chadna Miriam bat Zvi Eleizer,Marie Charlotte, of 47 years died of cancer just before the High Holy Days.She was diagnosed in July and in August we were told she had very little time..As I read your comments I know we lost two true Ashet Chayl (Women of Valor)..She always gave of her self to her husband, her children and to the community. Whenever she saw a need she didn't ask can she help,she was the first person to appear. At the Laviah (funeral) the Rabbi said she wasn't in the workplace as her career was her family and the community. Rabbi, like you I will always treasure the six weeks we had , the last 3 weeks at a hospice in Lake Worth, Fl. We had those days with my children to say to each other what we had said many times to each other but knew it would be the last time on earth. She faced her death as she lived her life. She told us she wasn't afraid to die as she had no regrets leaving a legacy of 2 daughters and their husbands and 8 grandchildren all Torah observant. To the end she worried about me and the staff told me I had to tell her I understood she was ready to go and I would be o.k. I recall one morning at shachrit (morning prayers) where I couldn't daven, I removed my teffillin and sat, I was angry with Hashem and tears filled my eyes, until I remembered my wife and how she was facing her ultimate end. Yes, Rabbi, I have shed many tears but through her and her strengtth my faith has endured. Hashem did answer her (it may not be the answer I wanted) and took her to a better place. She made me understand that death is part of life. May you and your family have a LShana Tova and only know simchas Milton Blau
(8) Anonymous, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you for the uplifitng insights that have helped me.
Thank you for the uplifitng insights that have helped me through a situation similar to yours. In June 2000 my wife was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer. Our family's life was turned upside down. My daughter who had quit her job and given up her apartment to make aliyah to Israel changed her plans so she could be closer to her mother. With good physicians and many prayers my wife is doing well at this time, Baruch Hashem. Next Sunday my daughter makes aliyah and has an apartment already in Yerushalyim. The Rabbi's earlier article about keeping faith despite his wife's illness really hit home. Although I pray that my wife's physical outcome is good, this article will be of great help in remembering that although she seems fine we never know what the next day will bring (for me either) ands to love and cherish her each and every day.
Thank you Aish. Your presence has been a blessing for me and countless others.
(7) Rachella Lopez, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
We want Hashem to bless the family with lots of strength.
Our family lives on the parallel road next to the Rosenblatt family.
My mother is actually still teaching
Elana's son, Elkana. My mother was inspired by the magnificent personality of Elana and the devotion to her family and to her surroundings.
(6) Betty Ruth Manney, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
My life will never be the same.
B"H
Rabbi, you have taught this 52 year Non-Jewish female more in this one article than I've learned my whole life.
Rabbi Kalman Packouz and I have become friends and I am thankful to have had your story touch my life as Rabbi has also changed my vision of G-d by seeing G-d through the eyes of my Jewish brethren.
Shalom, Betty Ruth /
[Bracha Rut -- the name Rabbi Packouz gave to me.]
(5) Anonymous, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Comforting words.
Well written and meaningful hindsights that can give any civilized person excellent food for thought.
(4) Anonymous, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Thank you so much for sharing with us, teaching us what you learned in your
pain and grief! I cherish this lesson!
(3) Brenda, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
thank you...
When my daughter was ill, before she died and after... i prayed and prayed. i knew my prayers were answered but didn't realize how they were answered until now. thank you for sharing your insight. I am sorry for your loss.
(2) R.M. Grossblatt, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
A widower who prayed for three years that his wife would live fbelieves that G-d answered him in the positive and healed her even though she died.
Truly inspiring and uplifting. To believe that G-d healed his wife spiritually is comforting for anyone who has lost someone after heartfelt davening.
(1) Jane Topp, September 30, 2001 12:00 AM
Thanks
...for sharing your journey so beautifully and honestly.I,too,had the same experience.I lost my husband 18 years ago now and in the terrible time of coming to terms with what was happening to us,we both called on God to help us.Like you, He showed us His love in so many ways as soon as we had made the step of asking for Him.Geoff,like your wife,was not physically healed but the Lord did so much emotional and spiritual healing in those 6 months.He was able to speak with his first wife who had caused him a lot of pain and to forgive her...this brought so much more Shalom into our lives and ,as a result of this letting go,we got married(We had been in a de-facto relationship both afraid of commitment because of the past).The last few months were so special like you have said,because time was short,and he died in my arms in his own bed (the prayer that I had asked of God, answered so totally, that I have pursued the God of Abraham,Isaac and David with all my heart ever since)....but that's not all.Ten years later God brought me into a new marriage and a new family of step-children...I read of Job and I am so grateful that He has done the same for me.What a Mighty God we serve!!!