My great-grandmother, Bertha Kurz, passed away this year. She was 106 years old. She was amazing for many reasons, not just because she lived to be one of the oldest women in the United States. Think of what she experienced in her lifetime. Who could possibly be a worldlier, wiser, not to mention resilient woman than great-grandma Bertha who tenderly touched three centuries?
Bertha's mother was Lena Haft, a Russian immigrant who lost her husband in the Spanish-American War at the age of 27. She lived a poverty-stricken life as a cigarette roller in the "Jewish ghetto" of Brooklyn. Lena had five children, one of whom died at birth. Bertha was born in 1897. Because my great-great-grandmother could not support her four children, she orphaned two of Bertha's siblings. Unfortunately Bertha was born deaf, probably due to the German measles her mother contracted during her pregnancy.
Life was brutal for this poor, deaf Jewish teenager, but great-grandma Bertha was not about to let this bleak upbringing get the best of her.
Great-grandma Bertha was sent to the Lexington School for the Deaf, for both economic and education reasons. Bertha's sister died in an influenza epidemic and a year later her mother was bedridden with a severe case of scarlet fever. Life was brutal for this poor, deaf Jewish teenager, but great-grandma Bertha was not about to let this bleak upbringing get the best of her.
She graduated from the Lexington School in the spring of 1913 but because of her young age, the administrators kept her there an additional year before releasing her to be trained as a diamond cutter in the thriving business of one of the school's wealthy benefactors. This occupation provided her with barely enough money to purchase food and clothing and pay the rent.
When she was 19, Bertha married Harry Kurz, one of her classmates. A destitute sewing machine operator, he later became an insurance broker for deaf people. The young deaf couple struggled to make ends meet. They were both fluent in sign language and were able to maintain a loving relationship for over 60 years.
Great-grandma Bertha was a dynamic spirit and the driving force in their marriage. They had three children, all of whom had completely normal hearing. My grandfather described his upbringing: "We were extremely poor. Both of my parents were deaf so it was very difficult for them to find good jobs because most employers didn't want to hire disabled persons. My mother always looked out for her children. She made sure there was food on the table, even if she couldn't afford to eat herself. Bertha forced us to study hard because she wanted us to have the opportunity to live a life free of the plague of poverty. I'm so grateful that she was my mother. She made my childhood one of the happiest stages of my life."
According to my grandfather, great-grandma Bertha never complained about her hearing impairment. In a newspaper article celebrating her 105th birthday, the author writes, "Bertha Haft Kurz loves words and people even though she's never been able to hear them."
Her beaming smile was "contagious," my grandfather said, and she made a host of lifelong friends. She maintained close relationships with many of the children and grandchildren of her Lexington School classmates. Even when traveling by plane, Bertha's amiable personality attracted the passengers sitting nearby. One of her closest friends was a 68-year-old man whom she met on a flight to Orlando.
Bertha hated to miss any family event. When my father was 17, she told him that he had to hurry and get married so she could be at the wedding -- that was 35 years ago! "I'm surprised I've lived this long, but I have a love for people," she said on her last birthday.
In 1998 she received the RBS Hirsch Woman of the Year award: "This gentle woman has been active all of her life in observing Jewish rituals and traditions, serving the Jewish, deaf, and entire community from the east coast to the west coast with 100 years of wisdom."
Bertha had a passion for reading and writing, two activities she could excel in despite being deaf. She read two newspapers a day, though her real love was the crossword puzzles. She completed the New York Times crossword puzzle nearly every day for 87 years -- that would amount to more than 20,000 puzzles in her lifetime!
Over the past 17 years on every November 2, great-grandma Berth would send me a handwritten card wishing me a happy birthday, accompanied by a check for $2.00, the same amount my dad received when he was younger -- no adjustment for inflation! Even more incredible, her message continued for two full pages. Her letters included witty aphorisms, humorous anecdotes, and of course a "good luck in school this year and with your tennis game." Not only did she remember all of our birthdays every year, my Uncle Steven received a card just 48 hours before she passed away.
A few weeks after her 50th birthday, great-grandma Bertha received astounding news from her doctor: the recent invention of the cochlear implant would enable her to regain her hearing. A dream come true! The doctor wanted to confirm that Bertha would undergo this simple procedure. "Bertha, clearly you would like to undergo this minor surgery and receive the implant, right?"
"Actually doctor, I think I'll pass, though I appreciate the offer very much."
"What?! Why?"
"Simple, I'm afraid I'd lose all my friends."
Her secret to happiness was "I don't worry about things, I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business."
Great-grandma Berth loved her life and did not see her hearing impairment as a disability. She couldn't imagine her life getting any better and was afraid that being able to hear would place a barrier between herself and her friends instead of removing one. Throughout all her life she maintained a vitality and heartiness that nothing could diminish.
"Her deafness never deterred her from communicating with anyone," my grandfather said in his eulogy. "Her adventurous spirit was indomitable and she prevailed in any situation. She prized love, honor and integrity above all else and she inspired the same in others. We began to think she was indestructible, but, alas, she grew weary and finally bid us all a fond, fond farewell."
What I remember best about my great-grandmother were my visits to her apartment in Queens. Although I was only one of her 13 great-grandchildren, I always felt that I had a unique relationship with her. Her secret to happiness was "I don't worry about things, I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business."
For inspiration, in my wallet I keep a photograph of great-grandma Bertha, sitting upright and tall (well, she was actually only 4'8"!) with a gleaming smile on her face. I can always feel her looking down on me from above.
(31) LW, March 11, 2016 7:02 PM
A Special Woman in Many Ways
Thanks for letting us read about your amazing matriarch. Thanks for the website too. These stores are beyond inspiring. It reminds us to do what we must do. The wisest of words, keep your mouth shut and mind your own business. She was against L"Shon Hora. We could all learn from this special woman. May her soul have an Aliyah.
(30) Anonymous, January 23, 2013 4:24 AM
amazing wonderful story she was a spectacular role model
thank you for sharing her with us alisa i will keep alot of what you said with me often keep her proud
(29) Linda Cummings, May 24, 2011 12:22 AM
Bertha Kurz
I moved to NYC from California in 2007. I was CHAD board member at where Bertha used to live. She mentioned that she will be buried somewhere in NJ. I would love to visit her grave. Can you tell me where she is buried at? Hope hear from you. Linda
(28) C.S.Braun, December 16, 2010 10:47 PM
These words Shut my mouth and mind my own business and ofcourse Don't worry!!........great lessons for living a happy life.........I'm sure she will be missed.....Our great aunt lived till a few weeks before her 106th birthday...there was always laughter around her and her family the ..we love being around them
(27) , December 7, 2010 10:25 AM
I was born Marjorie Kurz--my grandmother was Bertha Jane Gschwind Kurz--Ran into your article --was surprised to see there was more than my grandmother out there--what a wonderful life they both enjoyed--Chicago Il.
(26) Rayche, January 5, 2009 5:31 PM
thank you for sharing that... that was a real inspiration.
(25) Sheila, September 25, 2008 5:51 PM
How beautiful, the way you feel about your great grandmother. She sounds like an awesome person who really understood what was important. I lived near Lexington and think she was - and remains - an asset to the bluegrass.
(24) ronald lovett, May 31, 2006 12:00 AM
I knew your grandmother
Dear Zach, I just read your moving tribute to Bertha. I knew Bertha and Harry since I was a little boy and it was just two years ago that my family last heard from her, probably just before she died. My grandparents were Irving and Fannie Lovett. I don't know if those names will ring a bell with you, but Fannie and Bertha were classmates at the Lexington School and remained dear friends until the day my grandmother died in 1990. My mother passed away about two months ago and my sister and I were going through boxes of old photos last Sunday. We found many that we knew Bertha would have loved to have and just put them in the mail to her yesterday at the last address we had, which was in my mother's address book. She had copied it off the envelope of the last letter she received from Bertha about two years ago. The letter was from a woman who had the mind of someone who amazingly still had all of her faculties. I am 56 years old and have sweet loving memories of Bertha from the age of four or five. She was always happy to see us (me and my sister), and attended countless family events in the Lovett family. She, and Harry too, were integral members of my extended family. I certainly learned a great deal about her life that I did not know. I wish the photos had gotten to her in time to enjoy them. Thank you for your tribute. Ron Lovett
(23) Dorit Ernst, November 21, 2004 12:00 AM
Mr Zach - I am very grateful for having been able to read this story about your great-grandma Bertha - GOD bless you! Shalom!
(22) barbara moser, August 23, 2004 12:00 AM
Zach, I am Joan Kurz' cousin, Barbara Moser, a lawyer in San Francisco. What a wonderful article!! I knew Bertha very well, as I was fluent in sign language and was lucky enough to communicate with her often on my many visits to LA. My two children (who are 10 and 11) were also fortunate to know Bertha, and she had an amazing impact on their lives, too--they were so impacted and saddened by her death, as I know we all were. I loved Bertha very, very much (as I love Murray and Joan, too), and loved reading your inspiring, wonderful article. You are a great writer, and indeed were lucky to have such an inspiring great grandmother. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us all! With love, "cousin" Barbara.
(21) Connie Blank, August 18, 2004 12:00 AM
Connie Blank, I really enjoyed working with Bertha at CHAD. I am really impressed by her that she was very clam and sweet to me. I asked her "Why don't you write a story about your life because you already went trhu 3 centuries?" I gasped. Wow! She was such a wonderful person, I'm telling you. I had read this article. It inspired me about Bertha's life. yes, It's very true cuz' I was told by Bertha. God bless her in the Lord as I love her, too.
(20) Renee Johnson-Hee, August 16, 2004 12:00 AM
We at CHAD were truly blessed to have had her in our lives, she was truly an inspiration to us.
We will always remember her welcoming smile.
(19) Diane Morton, August 16, 2004 12:00 AM
Zach... What a beautiful story of a beautiful lady!! I knew your great-grandmother while she was living at CHAD. My mother was there at the same time. Even though my mother was younger, she passed away at the age of 90 two years BEFORE Bertha died. I loved to sit and talk with Bertha at CHAD - she was a warm, hurmorous and very wise woman. I enjoyed helping her out from time to time; in exchanged she "took care of" my mother for me (smile!). I was delighted to call her my friend - and I miss her very much! You are so lucky to have such wonderful memories of her!! You forgot to mention that in addition to her love of crossword puzzles, she enjoyed playing cards (and winning!) up until the end.
(18) Irene Kronick, August 15, 2004 12:00 AM
Zach, the story about your great grandma was splendid to read and how you felt for her. It is pretty unusual for a young kiddo like you to have a great relationship with Bertha. So I assume that it helped her to live so long for 106 years. Bless you, Zach.
Actually I do not know Bertha too well but her name was labeled as a great person whenever I heard about her among the deafies. I myself was raised in New York (the Bronx). Met her at the one of the Jewish conventions and spoke very little with her in California a couple of years ago. I was glad I did!!!!!!
Zach, keep up with your successful life as much as you can.
(17) Renah S. Ben-Ari, August 14, 2004 12:00 AM
One of a kind
Bertha has such an inspiring, caring, warm personality whenever she comes to Temple Beth Solomon to chat and play "500" -a card game that she excells in..and won so many times. She's so good in disolving arguements at sisterhood meetings. Love her and miss her a lot!
(16) Anonymous, August 12, 2004 12:00 AM
Very inspiring for consideration of handikapped.
I have been following your publications
on personal experiences and can only congratulate you for your esteem of such testimonies by people who in spite of their suffered lives kept their faith and love intact toward G-D
- a real gallery for encouragment!
Thanks and Shalom!
(15) VIOLET GELLER, August 12, 2004 12:00 AM
I LOVED EVERY LINE. SHE WAS A WONDERFUL LADY.
I HAVE A DEAF SON A ND DAUGHTER IN LAW WHO HAVE 2 HEARING CHILDREN. A GIRL OF 25 WHO IS A SPEECH THEREPIST AND A SON OF 23 WHO IS TAKING HIS MASTERS FOR SPEECH THEPIST. GOOD LUCK TO YOU. I BELIEVE YOU WILL BE A GREAT WRITER. ENJOYED IT ALL.
VIOLET GELLER
(14) Donna, August 11, 2004 12:00 AM
Blessing
I so enjoyed reading about Bertha Kurz. As an audiologist and Jew,it touched me in many ways. She was a true inspiration to deaf people as well as to her perserverance and inward spirit. What a blessing for your family to have her with you for so many years. I am deeply touched by her drive.
(13) edith chplan, August 10, 2004 12:00 AM
I knew your great grandmother Bertha very well. I went to Lexington School also and met her right after I graduated in 1938. Both of us were members of the Lex. Alumni. We lived in the East Bronx about 2 blocks from one another and some times I would go up to see her and your grandfather and she would always put some food on the table.
We were active together in the HAD for many years. She was really a remarkable woman, a ball of fire and everyone in N.Y. was her friend.Thank you for the beautiful commentary.
(12) Anonymous, August 10, 2004 12:00 AM
This was an amazing article about an amazing lady! My mother in laws parents were also both deaf.
(11) Sally, August 9, 2004 12:00 AM
Great-grandmother Berta
What a lovely story, what a tribute to your great-grandmother. She was a gift, to you, your family and to all who knew her. I know her blessed memory is cherished by all.
(10) Deb Meranski (formerly Sonnenstrahl), August 9, 2004 12:00 AM
An inspiring story but very true indeed! Very well written!
I have known Bertha for ages and am simply in awe of her remarkable memory and zest for life. It was only two months before she left us that she asked for a copy of the book I had written on deaf American artists. That demonstrates how sharp and keen her mind was to the very last day!
(9) Joan, August 8, 2004 12:00 AM
So beautiful.
Very touching and well writen. Thank you.
(8) Sonia Salamanca, August 7, 2004 12:00 AM
Grand...Bertha
This is a wonderfull and inspiring story.
(7) Chaiah Schwab, August 5, 2004 12:00 AM
Thank you for an inspiring article.
(6) Anonymous, August 5, 2004 12:00 AM
Thank You for sharing this very touching tribute. I recently worked in an office (ironicly, for your story, an audiologist!) and I always found the more elderly patients to be the most wise, interesting, and inspiring people. I loved speaking with them because I found that I learned so much from each one.
(5) Anonymous, August 4, 2004 12:00 AM
Your great-grandmother was exemplary!
Mazel-tov to Zach on writing such a beautiful tribute to your great-grandmother. Clearly her spirit influenced you in a very positive way. She was a guiding light to all of us; how she lived her life and how nothing got in her way - not deafness, not poverty, not the passage of time. May she also serve as a representative, if even in memory (z"l), that there are many Jews who live with disabilities of different types and severities, but who lead wonderful lives. It's a reminder to the rest of us to include and watch out for our fellow Jews who need the opportunity to participate in all aspects of life. May your great-grandmother's memory be blessed and may you continue to lead a life that reflects well many of the values she helped to instill in you.
(4) Mark A Bello, August 3, 2004 12:00 AM
May the Almighty keep her in perfect peace
Great Story for all of us. Thank you
(3) sjhepner, August 1, 2004 12:00 AM
lovely story...
she prevailed over sufferring and she looks like a good heavenly angel...we can all learn from her motto... Ijust looked after my own business.. thanx for this inspiring story...
(2) Barbara, August 1, 2004 12:00 AM
BEAUTIFUL
You made me cry :))
How blessed to have such a grandma...
(1) YYAcademy, August 1, 2004 12:00 AM
Beautiful; very inspiring