No one has ever called me the "n-word," even though the color of my skin is a nice medium coffee au lait and I am a descendant of slaves.
I’ve lived through all the politically correct words that my race has been called in my lifetime: colored, Negro, Black, African American. And most recently back to Black.
I have always thought of myself as Black because, in the same way you can get stuck on the hairstyles and music that were popular during high school or college, the same thing can happen with words. And in college Black was the word – Black Panthers, Black Power, and Black and Proud.
And today, Black Lives Matter.
It’s a word that, depending on who you are, can mean either extremely positive things or extremely negative things.
Today, my self-definition is much more complicated, though it still includes the word Black. At this point in my life I define myself as a Black Jewish woman.
Which of those words most reflects who I am depends on the day.
Some days I’m mostly a woman
It was my mother's dream that I go to college, but the primary expectation of my family – and society – was that I would get married and have babies. I didn't have any problem with the first, but, for various reasons, I determined early on that I would never do the second.
Just because I was sure it was the right thing didn't mean it wasn't a struggle to go against the expectations I was surrounded by. It was years before I came to realize that it was okay not to want to be married or to have children.
What I wanted was to help other women. So I took meals to the local women's shelter and started a charity to make quilts for the homeless women who arrived there with nothing.
Doing all these things allowed me to become the woman I wanted and needed, and am grateful to be.
What I wanted was to travel. So I drove across the US, lived in six different states, and visited England, Scotland, and Israel.
What I wanted was to create. So my writing has appeared on Jewish websites and has been warmly received.
What I wanted was to learn. So I put myself through college, and it was one of the reasons I chose to become Jewish. And doing all these things allowed me to become the woman I wanted and needed, and am grateful to be.
Much of the time, it's the word Jewish that is most definitive.
One of my best friends, and the mother of my god-daughter, wanted me to move to Spokane when she was relocating there for her job. I love her and that child (both her daughters actually), and I've lived across the US from the left coast to the right, so, what the heck, I considered it. Or more specifically, I googled it: Jewish Spokane.
And then I had to try to figure out how to explain to a non-Jewish, non-any-kind-of-religious woman that I wasn't willing to live in a city where there was basically no Jewish life. No synagogues, no Jewish Community Centers, no classes, no lectures, no community.
For me, being Jewish means waking up with a blessing on my lips. And throughout the entire day, I am reminded to be mindful of, and grateful to God, expressed through prayers and blessings recited throughout the day.
For me, being Jewish means attending classes, women's prayer group and book club discussions; art shows and lectures and concerts at various synagogues (today much of that is now available online because of the pandemic).
For me, being Jewish means going to Shabbat services and kiddushes, and being a guest at the homes of the families who are kind enough to invite me. It means feeling surrounded by God all the time, and there is nothing better than that.
But sometimes (and more and more lately) Black is most important.
I think back to a few years ago, when I went down to Selma, Alabama. I was driven to walk across that same Edmund Pettis Bridge that Martin Luther King Jr. and his folks, still in those days called Negros in polite circles, walked upon and were beaten.
I was a teenager living on the other side of the country when the first walk happened, and there was no way I could have been there. But in the back of my mind, somewhere deep in my heart, I always felt bad that I wasn't.
It took me decades to finally get there, and Rev. King, and to some extent the movement he led, are long dead, but on that day, walking across that bridge (that was so much smaller than I had always seen it in my mind) I felt the ones who had walked there before all around me. And on that day Black was definitely the most important.
It has also recently risen in importance when there are so many Black people, my people, out protesting in the streets, because of a black man whose last words were “I can’t breathe” while a white man, a representative of law and order, leaned on his neck, completely unconcerned.
I am Black and Female and Jewish
It can be hard to be the three parts of me when they are separate. It can be harder still when the three parts come together.
My experiences in synagogues have been, relatively speaking, non-confrontational about my race and my gender.
I’m not saying that I’ve never been in Jewish spaces where people have obviously wondered what I was doing there; questioned if I knew what was going on; or in Judaica shops, looked hard at me to figure out if came in because I needed Shabbat candles, or if I was there to steal.
I also cannot say that there are not parts of being an Orthodox woman that I struggle with accepting. I settle for attempting to understand them, and being impressed by the enormous amount of respect the women in my community are treated.
Most people assume I must be a convert, but since I am a convert, that doesn't bother me much. There are Jews of Color who were born Jewish, and the “automatically assuming” bothers them very much. I can understand why.
Of course, people do ask me the question: Why in the world would you decide to convert to Judaism?
I've always taken it to mean that the folks asking know that being Jewish isn't easy, and they just want to understand why you would take it on if you didn't have to. Truthfully, sometimes I wonder that myself. But I know with complete certainty that this is my path to God. I spent my whole life looking for it, and now that I've found it, I also know I have to follow it.
Still I've read a lot, over the years, about Black people who walk into Jewish spaces and they’re treated very badly. They are asked if they’re the help. They’re subjected to other mean-spirited questioning. They’re met at the door with skepticism.
I have a friend who tried to go to a Passover Seder at synagogue near where I currently live and Jews there were so rude to her and her child that they just left.
Nobody’s ever been that rude to me in a synagogue.
My worst experience was at one synagogue at the end of one service. As I was leaving, I heard a man talking negatively about how he felt about Black people. I was taken aback. For a moment, I considered confronting him. But he was an older man, settled in his thinking, unmovable in his opinions. I couldn't imagine that anything I said would have even penetrated, not to mention influenced him to change his mind.
I ended up taking a deep breath and walked past him out the door.
I’m quite certain he didn’t mean a word of it, but he did apologize.
I later learned that the President of the Board of Directors and the Rabbi of that synagogue confronted this man and demanded he apologize to me. And he did. I’m quite certain he didn’t mean a word of it, but he did do it.
More important to me though was what the shul President and Rabbi did. I am so grateful that they stood up for me immediately, conclusively, and with enthusiasm.
Words that Made me Cry
I recently read in the Torah: "Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26), and I teared up. I realized I feel like that about being a Black, Jewish woman: it's a blessing and it's a curse.
I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I have a good life. God has truly blessed me, especially because I am certain I am on the right path on my journey through this world to grow closer to God.
But the fact that my life could have been so much worse doesn't mean that there have not been down sides.
I am the Court Negro because, like the Court Jew of history, I’m the only person there who looks like me.
I walk into unfamiliar spaces, including white Jewish spaces, where I am, as I have been known to call myself, the Court Negro because, like the Court Jew of history, I’m the only person there who looks like me. And people treat me well, even respectfully. It seems they take me for who I think I am (a Jewish woman visiting) as opposed to who I look like I am (a random Black woman who wandered in).
And that is my blessing.
On the other hand, I never completely fit into those spaces. I am never just like everybody else. I am almost always "the only one." Although I don’t usually face much overt hostility, I do sometimes get very tired of being the only one who looks like me in a room.
And that is my curse.
Oddly, I am grateful for both my blessing and my curse.
I can't say I planned to end up who I am, or where I am, today. I am Black. I am Jewish. And I am a woman. And all of those things have upsides and downsides, alone and even more so, in combination.
My life is fairly simple: I work (remotely these days). I live contentedly alone in a small apartment. I attend synagogue. I am invited for meals with families in the community. I learn and I teach.
I am the Court Negro, but I am also myself and accepted as myself by those around me.
And although I sometimes have a touch of anger, as well as a touch of guilt, I am beyond grateful that God has blessed me with the great gifts of having a home, living in an inspiring and supportive community, and being mostly happy, most of the time.
Photo credit for graphic above: David Holifield
(39) glorious, November 8, 2020 7:53 PM
stop complaining
I came across this site looking for information on Kabbala.
after I obtained the info I was looking around on the site and came across your post. It was just to much! Why are you complaining when you are operating from their platform. Stop trying to fit in with them to prove your heritage/ethnicity. The history of "them" here and in the middle east clearly should show you their attitudes toward people of color let alone African Americans. Move forward start your own. God knows who you are!
(38) Cathy Yisraela Potter, October 10, 2020 3:29 AM
Great article!
Thank you for putting into words my feelings! May Hashem continue to bless us and keep us in His love!
(37) Tiferet, September 14, 2020 1:03 AM
What of a Black Jewish woman that *does* react to marry and have children
Hmmm, it would be interesting to see Aish write an article about as Black female convert that *does* want to get married and *does* want to have children. What kind of shidduchim does she get and why? Are American Jewish men (and their families) really open to having a Black wife/daughter in law? Especially religious ones? Maybe in a subsequent article?
(36) Stephanie, September 12, 2020 2:49 AM
Thank You
This was probably not an easy essay for you to write but thank you for doing so! It spoke to my soul because I live in that space of gift and course everyday. From knowing that I’ll always be dissecting, tested and considered not valid to be part of the tribe or that who I am no matter how educated, we’ll spoken or high earning I am. I’m not a suitable mate within the Jewish community. This hurts deeply but I know now this journey is not in vain and I thank Hashem for all of the blessings he’s brought me as I navigate my Jewish life.
(35) RAVEN MATTHEWS-TYREE, September 8, 2020 8:20 PM
I am also a Black Jewish Woman.
I found this essay thought provoking. I have often found that people tend to respond to me in what I call their "ascending order of prejudice." That is you can see them determine what they hate worse, Jews, women, or Black people, and the first words that they speak will be your clue.
(34) Rosa, September 1, 2020 4:22 AM
Love your story.
Thank you for sharing your story, unabashedly. It makes me feel that I, to, am on the right path in learning about Judaism. I have a desire to convert, only H knows when it will take place.. H bless you beyond measure.
(33) hanoch bernath, August 27, 2020 2:52 PM
variety is good
In Toronto within a half hour walk from my home in the Bathurst St/ Wilson Ave area, I can count roughly 20 congregations mostly small, ranging from Reform to Bobov, Gerrer . we have several mixed couples. no other comment needed (not enough to go around, but we share) never heard a single detrimental word.
On the other hand.
A joke.
In the 60's an old Yid is sitting in the back of the bus, a young black man sits across from him. The old man watches carefully as the young man takes a newspaper out of his bag and notices that it is in Yiddish. He gets the young man's attention and asks. "Nu. Black ain't enough for you?"
(32) Judy R., August 27, 2020 5:24 AM
Jewish Woman of color that thinks it is a curse except a blessing
Jews that you are meeting are Ashkenzi that are light skin, there is another type of Jews that are Sephardic and Mazarrchi Jews,that have darker skin tone. Also, in Israel there are Ethiopian Jews that are dark too. Jews come in different shades of color, and in Israel they blend in together. Jews are not real white either, that is why they murdered in the Holocaust, and for being Jewish. Maybe you should change your Shul, to a Sephardic one where there are people darker skin. Also, even born Jews that are darker sometimes have problems too, I once went to visit a family in Israel the husband was light and the wive was Sephardic, the oldest son was light and the younger two sons were darker skin like their mother, and the oldest son made fun of his own brothers and the mother made a joke about it, but I was there and it must of hurt the mother very much. Sometimes even in families people are not always nice to each other, also once I went to Rhode Island were the woman was a child of Holocaust Survivor(s) and the husband was a black convert, and he was happy to be in Shul be part of the davening and learning, and I felt very comfortable there. Maybe you should get in touch with Nissim Black that lives in Israel, also go to Israel to see the communities there. The organization Black Lives Matter don't care about blacks but are a Marxist group that hates Jews, Israel, and are criminals that make crimes, who knows if they got funded by George Soros(may his name be erased) that helped the Nazis(may their name be erased) loot assets from Jews, and now used is ill gotten gains to try to destroy Israel and America G-d forbid, so nothing is what it seems. Sometimes Jews are uncomfortable around converts no matter their color, it is what the Jews went through history, Jews were slaves and were oppressed, and had worst done to them, also nobody knows what kind of life others have, so sometimes take the high road. Among Jews sometimes there is not harmony sadly!
(31) Anonymous, August 26, 2020 6:03 PM
A Blessing!
Thank you for sharing your article! Always a blessing!
(30) Elisha Benjamin Ankri AKA: Benjilini, August 26, 2020 1:41 PM
Being Alone but Being Strong?
First, I would like to personally welcome you to our Jewish community. Hi! Most people know me as "Benjilini." I have performed for over 50 years in many venues as a magician inckuding for our fellow "Jews of Color" multiple times!?I will tell you as I would often tell my thousands of students sitting on the gym floor by the black line at P.S. 256 located in bed-stuy, "I don't see Black or White, Jew or Muslim, Chinese or Indian, all I see here is CHILDREN!" It was NEVER easy for me wearing my yarmulke daily as a physical ed. and health ed. teacher in the NYC Public School System for 30 yrs.(1986-2016). I had to "fight" to take off for our Jewish Holidays without pay and the daily Friday and yearly issue to get out early enough on early Fridays for candle lighting times. I know "how it feels to be the ONLY ONE in a work environment, living in my apt. building, etc. as the ONLY Jewish male wearing my kippa." However, " I am NOT a perfect Jew and far from it, but I will NEVER be ashamed to be a Jew!" "I am PROUD to be a Jew!" I urge you as I do "to remain strong, be proud of your Jewish heritage, and, if you are the only one in the workforce, store, Shul, remain self-confident within yourself. Remember, Hashem does NOT judge us by the color of our skin as Jews or non-Jews but rather "how we are shining HIS light to ALL of his children and helping the "orphan, the widow, the oppressed, and, trying our best to follow his 613 Commandments. Indeed, you may consider yourself as a Black Jewish Woman but you will ALWAYS remain beautiful to G-d and to me? Elusha/Benjilini ???
(29) Toby Klein Greenwald, August 26, 2020 3:07 AM
Thank you
Dear Billye Tziporah, Thank you for your courageous and elegant article. Wishing you continued success in your teaching and studying and writing. If you are ever in Israel, please make contact. It would be an honor to meet you. Shana tova.
(28) CHARLES D. GELFAND, August 25, 2020 11:42 PM
My 1st black Jewish encounter
I was a Cadet Sgt. in the Civil Air Patrol when I was a teenager.
I was teaching a class and called out the roster, when a black Cadet said
‘Here Sir.”
He had a very Jewish name, and I was astonished.
When the class was over, I asked him his name again. He told me, and said
“ I’m jewish like you.”
I was stunned, because I never had a black Jewish friend before.
He invited me to his house and I met his family. Dad was very orthodox, wore a kippah, and had a kosher home. He was more “Jewish “ than I was.
We became very strong friends, and I was grateful to have met him.
Amos became a musician, and moved to the Caribbean. I moved to Texas
and Lost contact with him.
(27) Guitty Bolour, August 25, 2020 10:30 PM
Thank you for sharing your heart so courageously. I have to say I do empathize with your struggles as being the only one in your space of the minority race and your comments about some who have made you feel uncomfortable. I think because you stand out, it is human nature and weakness to take notice and judge one way or another, some out of fear of the different and some out of curiosity. I have to say I would probably also take notice of someone who is different but also be inspired by their strength and their firm belief and commitment, but please don't take everyone who sees you as different as negative, but understand that you courage and faith serves as an example. Forgive the people around you and continue your life with the openness and decency that you hold. You have lived this journey and have come to this place to serve as a silent teacher. Your presence, your aura, and your faith in G-d all teach the world around you, forgiveness, love, patience, tolerance and faith. Faith in God and humanity. For that, everything you have done to this point was for a reason. Thank you for all that you are and that you do by choosing this path. I wish you the best.
(26) Han, August 25, 2020 9:25 PM
“I am black, I am Jewish and I am a woman.
I have always learned that As a Jew, you are FIRST a Jew, and then everything else. I am a Jew, woman and I’m white. I’ve always thought when the Jewish person didn’t look like me, either they were Latino, Asian, Black or what ever, I always feel they must be part of the lost tribes and they have come home. It makes me happy. I hope you find your happy, you deserve it. Bless you.
(25) Tobi Ernst, August 25, 2020 8:24 PM
Read comments
Read Deborah, Gilda, & Me, by Letty Cotin Pogrebin. She is one of the original feminists associated with Gloria Steinem. Also, there is a small, but rich history of the Jews of Jamaica, West Indies. I was at the Synagogue in downtown Kingston, last May.
(24) Hannah Charlier, August 25, 2020 6:49 PM
About the article
I loved your story , I loved you.
This is being jewish
(23) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 6:26 PM
Beautiful
Beautiful
(22) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 6:20 PM
On being a (white) Jewish convert
I converted to Judaism before I had children, because I loved the religion and I wanted my children to be born Jewish. My husband was a secular Jew and discouraged me from converting (and so did my in-laws). When we, as a couple, attended services together (which was not often) he would embarrass me by joking with people several seats away and not in a whisper, either. Everybody enjoyed his company because he is a born comedian. As for me, I was pretty much ignored. After one service we attended, when he had continued his clownish behavior during services, I told him he didn't need to go with me anymore, which was fine with him. Then I went to the Rabbi and inquired about converting. After a year of studying, I went to the Mikvah and made my transition from "goy" to "OY!". Now I knew my children would be born Jewish. However, my husband refused to have anything to do with raising them as Jews, so I shlepped them to religious school 3x a week, took them to required services, and paid religious school tuition out of my own pocket (I had a good job at the time). Ten years in all. Both my children were born and raised as Jews, as much as I could do to make it happen. And they both got a Bar Mitzvah! I found that the Congregation accepted me on general terms, friendly enough, but then on occasion, I would learn that people would only go so far in what they chose to talk to me about. In other words, they would tell me only selected portions of things that went on in their private lives, but not the rest of it, I would later find out the "rest of it" from others who shared it with me. "Why?" I asked myself, "do they not share the whole story with me, but tell others the whole story?" And then I realized that it was because I was a convert and not "true blooded" Jewish. However, that did not discourage me from quitting the Synagogue, I still go and do have friends there but I must remember that in the back of their minds, I am still a "convert".
(21) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 6:18 PM
Absolutely Beautiful!
AbSOULutely Beautiful from one Jewish Sistah to another!!! I love it!!
(20) Myrna, August 25, 2020 6:08 PM
Black
Remember GOD created you and your color you are perfect, GOD does not make a mistake. You are wonderfully made. Be all GOD created you to be.
(19) Amir Tamari, August 25, 2020 5:52 PM
Thank you
Thank you Billye Tziporah for your article, its honesty and for sharing of yourself & your life. There is a lot that can be learned from what you wrote. Thank you.
(18) Carol S Bailenson, August 25, 2020 5:32 PM
Jewish Blacks in Chicago
There is a very active, flourishing Jewish Black Synagogue in Chicago and the majority of the congregation was born Jewish. The Rabbi is also black and all are welcome.
(17) Steven Levine, August 25, 2020 4:57 PM
I understand. Your policy is fine by me.
I was moved by this article in many ways, but there is one point that is clear to me: Being a white American Jewish male of European descent living in an often anti-Semitic world I can avoid confronting this type of discrimination because I am invisible to the haters. This courageous and dedicated black (her most recent preference of identify) Jewish woman cannot be invisible if she chose to be because of the color of her skin. Also, while being fully respectful and sympathetic to her experience, I nor any white person could ever fully understand the pain she has experienced throughout her life. G-d bless her. She is surely a beacon of hope and strength to anyone that has read her story or know her personally.
(16) Franz Shoeburt, August 25, 2020 4:44 PM
focus on being a servant of Hashem
We are forced to identify as this or that by a media that is controlled by the racial politics mindset of liberalism. Try to distance yourself from this. Your skin is black or brown or whatever beautiful color Hashem made it. You are whatever you think you are. And if you look different, so what? Live your life and think about serving Hashem. No need to feel sorry for yourself because the liberal media is filled with identity politics on a daily basis.
Eta Kushner, August 25, 2020 7:26 PM
Feeling sorry for herself?
I didn't take away that she is feeling sorry for herself at all. She was just expressing her feelings about often being the "only one." I'm wondering, if you were to visit an African country with few white-skinned people, if you would feel a little self-conscious at times. Would you feel sorry for yourself or just feel like you stand out?
(15) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 4:34 PM
Respecting Everyone
I have great respect for those who chose to be Jewish, especially those who take the orthodox path, which to my mind is much harder to follow. The author is black and female. Being white and female I can tell you that in orthodoxy, I have found the respect for women limited. I certainly cannot condone the disrespect shown to her. Every Jew should be respected regardless of gender or color. When G_d gives us the beautiful rainbow, he/she does not just place it in the sky. We are all a rainbow of skin colors, each one to be admired as the work of G_d and each one to be respected and cherished as such.
(14) R.Katz, August 25, 2020 4:05 PM
Touching Words from a Sensitive Jewish, Black, Woman
The writer's sensitivity to what it means to be who she is has touched my heart.
With the challenge of being a Jewish Black woman in our world, she is able to keep her focus on the objective to get close to Hashem. May He bless her and all of klal Yisrael for a Shana Tova -- a good, happy healthy year.
Thank you.
(13) JF, August 25, 2020 4:02 PM
Hmmm
I have so many thoughts going on here. I am a convert and as such a member of the community. Is that accepted by all? No. Some don't like converts though we are mandated by God to to treat converts well. Speaking from experience which you obviously don't have nor others that believed his words when you can't breathe you can't talk. MLK who you also reference was all about the contentcof character. Floyd a man who robbed a poor black pregnant woman in her home. A place where she should have felt safe and secure. During the crime she was beaten. Yes wonderful reference. Being Jewish is not about being judgemental and all about our relationshipnwith Hashem amd each otherm. If you felt that people in shul thought you were there to steal that's on you. Not them. An old man who didn't like blacks. Not surprising though disappointing. If you don't look to every interaction as an opportunity for growth for both of you again that's on you.Maybe Hashem wants you to be a conduit of learning that you passed up. That time. I have lived in poor neighborhoods where I was the only white woman let alone Jew. And Im whiter than white picked on for decades for being so pale. Unhealthy looking. We all have our challenges. I was myself with my neighbors. I fostered relationships. That's me though. Did I have problems? For the most part no though I was a curiosity to some. I also was an unemployed poor and white and Jewish. Huh? Not possible. Stereotypes are Limitations. Not facts. Not truths.
Jennifer, August 25, 2020 10:25 PM
Do not judge and Render a sentence
Not all challenges are the same. Being killed because of the color of your skin is NOT A CHALLENGE. The Holocaust was a horrible experience for the Jewish nation. There were excuses for why people wanted them dead and all of them was not because they were jealous of the Jewish nation but they spoke badly of the Jewish people. There were birth ideologies about the Jewish nation. That was the excuse that we propagated for other to kill. Murder someone because of your own hate is not pleasing to GOD. I leave that to him what that outcome will be. You look upon something that he (George Floyd) did and you judge him forever. Holding him accountable without release. I have seen and fallen short. We all need God’s mercy. No one has the right to hold that back from another human being that God made in his likeness. Matthew 7 :1-2, “ Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For the way you judge others is how you will be judged. The measure with which you measure out will be used to measure to you.“ (CJB).
(12) raquel shulamit, August 25, 2020 3:49 PM
All Jews descend from slaves
I find your story very interesting and inspiring. And I wish aish would tell more stories of black, japanese, Latin American Jews. It is not color, and it is not the birthplace. We are all human beings, and as jews we ALL descend from slaves in Egypt.
(11) Lisette, August 25, 2020 3:37 PM
Well written
I think that this woman is not so different than most women in that her respective 'traits' are more or less dominant in different situations. The fact that her coloring may be different than the 'average' American Jewess, makes her no less of anything than she is as a complete person trying to find her way through life. The writing is wonderfully frank and well appreciated.
(10) David Goldstein, August 25, 2020 3:31 PM
Great!
Kol Hacavod! You wrote beautifully! I was a Jew on a US Navy destroyer and felt like I stood out too! Wishing you all the best!
(9) Les Brown, August 25, 2020 3:14 PM
So what?
So you have dark skin, eh? So what? My ancestors were also slaves. Only in America does that seem to matter. What matters to me far more is that you are a Jew and therefore someone I can invite to meet my family, come for a Shabbat meal, and even find a shidduch for you - if you are interested, no harm in trying.
As Martin Luther King Jnr said, it's the "content of you character" that matters to me. The colour of your skin is totally irrelevant. The "colour" of your character is far more important.
Blair, August 25, 2020 3:23 PM
I agree completely, at a Jewish American Black woman, this insecurity that she and many other "Jews if color" face is largely an American problem. I would encourage the author to visit Israel and gain some confidence, as Jews come in all shades.
I find it odd how content she is with being a single Orthodox Jewish woman, has no one in her community expressed interest in helping her get married and forming her own family??
(8) Laurel A Morse, August 25, 2020 3:10 PM
My Best Friend
I am the person she mentions who lived at the time in Spokane. I deeply appreciated that Billye took the time to explain to me, while she loves us dearly, Spokane was not the place that would make her fulfilled in her beliefs. Having been there with her when she went through the process to become a Jewish woman, and listening to the studies and questions, I am very proud to call her my friend. And I still tell people that I know dinosaurs would not be kosher. Love you my friend.
(7) Ra'anan, August 25, 2020 3:08 PM
Billye, for the record, you are a...
Billye, for the record, you are a rich, beautiful tapestry of wonder.
Anyone who mistreats ANY Jew, mistreats a child of HaShem.
Anyone who LOVES ANY Jew, loves a child of HaShem & HaShem sees this as precious.
When HaShem said He loves the “stranger,” He meant that Jew who is made to feel as a stranger, a ger or giroyeth.
But we are to IMITATE HaShem, so WE MUST LOVE THE STRANGER AS WELL!
HaShem did NOT ASK us to love the stranger, He COMMANDED US!
That means there’s an urge to overcome, an urge, a feeling that says NOT to love the stranger because he doesn’t look like us, doesn’t talk like us, doesn’t act like us!
Which is exactly why He repeated to love the stranger 36 times!!!
At the end of the day & at the End of Days, loving the stranger is not only a chesed, but it is OUR OWN TIQUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It could VERY WELL BE that HaShem FORCED OUR NESHAMOTH BACK TO PLANET EARTH just to have a chance to LOVE A STRANGER! There are many more than ever before! I’m even wondering if you have a choice between tefillin or helping a stranger, which comes first???
People generally love themselves and protect themselves from people who make them feel unwelcome and bad. What we have to understand, what we have to FEEL, is that YOU are US! We have to love YOU at LEAST as much as we love ourselves!
Don’t give strangers the 3rd degree. It’s STRESSFUL! The most beautiful icebreaker I heard from any rav is, “so, tell me about yourself!” This is beautiful because it let’s the OTHER be in charge of telling you what he’s comfortable instead of filling out an investigative report to satisfy the questioner’s curiosity. Nobody owes the curious an explanation. Drop your curiosity and get busy loving instead. Then maybe, just maybe, we’ll merit the great-grandson of Ruth who was LOVED, instead of INTEROGATED, by the people of Bethlehem in Judah.
(6) Ellen Jensen, August 25, 2020 2:42 PM
Black Jewish woman
Dear Billye Tziporah Roberts, Like you, I am a Black Jewish woman, and a convert. It is quite painful and saddening to read how you feel about this. God stresses dozens of times that Jews are to love the convert. Not just accept us and be good for us. Love. I have never considered being Black or a woman a curse, and neither do I see my chosen religion in this way. People who become friends or who treat me kindly, are the best of the Jews. Those who live close to their soul. Those who live according to the Torah. I believe that God stresses this so much because He uses us to judge His people, among other measurements. In my experience, those who behave in hateful ways, often are far from Judaism, or keep the Torah out of fear while they seem to hate God. My skin colour and hair I inherited from people I am proud of. People who didn't teach me victimhood, and didn't limit me more than our society enforced. In fact I received both freedom and trust from my parents, together with responsibility. In many ways people with my cultural background behave like Yiddishe mammes of Black, Indian, European, Chinese, American Indian or mixed descent. Divisive groups may gather members, they will not solve the problems. We can only do that together. Recognizing God's reflection in every human being. Regarding your feeling that you are one of a kind among the rest, it is based on truth. But it applies to each of us. We are all unique, even if we think we are all the same. Those who try to force everyone to be the same, are likely to become oppressors very soon. Because God created us different, so we would be able to give to each other. To complete and perfect our world. Wishing you lots of love and blessing, and a very blessed New Year.
(5) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 2:37 PM
Very much appreciate this article.
This is such an important article. I appreciate learning from Ms Roberts. I appreciate that she is helping us all grow in understanding and awareness. I am certainly going to read her other articles! Thank you.
(4) Andrew Stiller, August 25, 2020 2:10 PM
Wonderful and thought provoking
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
(3) Anonymous, August 25, 2020 9:39 AM
A COAT OF MANY COLORS
Joseph had a coat of many colors. On the High priest breastplate, each tribe was represented by a gem, each having a different value & color. My point? The G-d whom we serve embraces variety. I too have chosen this path as as a Black, female, human being because I believe the same Creator who made me Black, also drew me with cords of His Love into this direction. You have a unique opportunity. The life of living by the Torah offers a vast, beautiful, varied, and bountiful table feast. Chose your seat and sit down. Stay Strong.
(2) Ozer, August 25, 2020 2:41 AM
Powerful piece
Thank you for sharing your story.
(1) Anonymous, August 24, 2020 8:56 PM
Why must Aish use a person's color so often?
If I submitted an article about being a white Jewish man that descended from dirt poor serfs, would that article get published? Please, refrain from this political nonsense of labeling based on color. Being Jewish is beautiful all on its own.
Anonymous, August 25, 2020 3:54 AM
Excuse Me?
How is knowing how someone feels political? I have lost count the amount of times that I have been present around tone deaf people and the way that they speak about people of color within our community. I can however unfortunately count the amount of Jewish illustrated books that we have that feature people of color. There is a definite problem within our community of prejudice based on pure ignorance and lack of exposure. If we are truly am echad belev echad, let's listen to each other.
Nina Kotek, August 25, 2020 9:46 AM
Everything is about color these days
Kudos to Aish for addressing the subject, as usual, with a positive article from which we can learn. You're right, everywhere else these type of articles usually make people feel bad and guilty, but this woman made good choices and is just telling us her life, perhaps with a bit of rebuke.
And there are plenty of articles here about poor "white" Jewish men and women overcoming terrible obstacles to succeed. I put white in quotes because maybe you meant Ashkenazi, and usually people who call Jews white nowadays are not their friends and want to push them to the "bad" side.
Zvi, August 25, 2020 2:33 PM
Yes... being Jewish is beautiful -- but "Anonymous" is profoundly insensitive
I do not know of any "White Jewish Men descended from dirt poor serfs" who would be denigrated or insulted. Indeed, if you know of one -- then please submit it to Aish.com for publication.
On the other hand, if a "Jew of Color" is treated disrespectfully, insulted, or humiliated, then the VERY serious prohibition of "Ona'as Devarim" -- hurting with words -- has just taken place. Perhaps, you should read in the Talmud exactly HOW serious this prohibition is -- it can [literally!] be fatal.
If a "Jew of color" who is a CONVERT is "mistreated" as described above, then IN ADDITION to the violation of Ona'as Devarim, there is now an ADDITIONAL violation of Ona'as HaGer - hurting a convert.
For "Anonymous" to fail to understand that is REALLY unfortunate.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that the Torah did NOT formulate these prohibitions out of "political correctness" -- Rather, G-d is telling us that we must be decent people who do not mistreat other Jews (and other people for that matter) because of their color -- REGARDLESS of how the rest of Society "behaves".
I feel that Aish.com is doing a valuable service by providing these articles -- especially for those of us who do NOT usually have contact with "Jews of Color".
It is my hope that these articles will remind us -- especially during these days of Elul -- that much of the Beauty of Judaism is that we are directed to treat with love and respect ALL Jews.
Anonymous, August 25, 2020 9:38 PM
All the White Jewish Men Insulted Perished
The Holocaust shows thousands of “White Jewish Men” who were both rich and poor. It didn’t matter. They and their families were all treated with insult, torture, and many murdered in the Holocaust. Just look up and study the histories of “White Jewish Men” in Poland, Germany, the Netherlands, France, Czechoslovakia, from 1937-1945...