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In this week's Torah portion, Moses tells the Jewish people of many laws they need to observe. One of the laws that are of utmost importance is when it comes to making a vow to God. Regarding this, Moses said:
"You shall observe and carry out what emerges from your lips..." (Deuteronomy 23: 24)
A LIFE LESSON
If one were to make a vow or promise to God, it is something that must be fulfilled. While there are ways in Jewish law to have these vows annulled, nonetheless, the intent when one makes the vow is that he or she plans on honoring it.
Sadly, most people today speak with little or no regard for carrying out the words they say to someone else. It's incredible just how often someone will say something with which he has absolutely no intention whatsoever of following through. Also, since the Torah is a guidebook for living, how does keeping your word lead to having a happy and fulfilling life?
The answer is that when someone keeps his word, he will actually experience a great amount of pleasure. The reason for this is that a person can only feel good about himself when he makes good choices. Making poor choices will inevitably give a person a low self-image, whereby making positive and healthy choices will make him feel great about himself.
When you follow through with the most simplest of declarations, like "I'll be there at 8:00 PM," it shows that you value your word and what you say is important to you. But here's the thing - the only way you'll care about keeping your word is if you care about yourself. But the reverse is just as true - the more you keep your word, the better you'll feel about yourself. This is actually self-esteem math; it works every time.
When you honor what you say - no matter what it might be - you're actually making a bold statement of just how important your word is. And again, the reason keeping your word makes you feel terrific is that only someone who has a high self worth cares about following through with what he says. The more you do what it is that you say you'll do - even the most simplest of commitments - you'll increasingly feel better and better about yourself.
So always keep your word. If not for the person to whom you're speaking, then do it for yourself. Because over time, it will just make you feel amazing.
(11) Anonymous, September 14, 2016 1:07 PM
Excellent article and very well written! Thanks for posting!
(10) Anonymous, August 25, 2015 12:55 PM
Great article! Thanks for posting!
(9) Maria, August 15, 2013 5:08 PM
Thanks.
Thank You!
(8) Michael, September 5, 2011 5:35 AM
Wrong Scripture Reference
The scripture is Deuteronomy 23:23 not 23:24
(7) Gerdina Snyman, August 16, 2010 9:55 AM
We should always be very carefull in what we are saying and rather make no promises at all or prevent such a situation unless you have thought it through carefully before the time. The promise we feel we need to make is not always for the correct reasons as far too often they come from quilty feelings.
(6) Scott Granowski, August 28, 2009 9:53 PM
Words
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Nancy Rottman, September 9, 2011 12:14 AM
Do what you say you are going to do.
(5) SusanE, August 28, 2009 4:30 PM
Our Word is Who We Are.
Ive been neglecting Torah Portions since the new web design of the Aish.com. So glad I went there today and clicked on this article from 2006. I agree that giving our word is important. The saying in the secular world was always "A Man is only as Good as His Word". That is very true. A promise and a handshake were contract enough for honorable men. You state that a promise to G-d can be annuled in Jewish law. That is a sad state to find a loophole to break a promise to G-d. These days a man can promise anything in business or in daily life, and break that promise without punishment, in a court of law if he has a good enough lawyer. This is a sad state to be so unethical and have someone pronounce you absolved. If we don't have our word as a reflection of our honorable selves we have nothing. Thank you for ressurecting this advice for men to honor their comittment.
Gail, August 17, 2013 3:55 PM
Our word is who we are.
I myself have voiced well meaning vows based on the circumstances at the moment only later find I have spoken out of emotion instead of a clear understanding of the vows repercussions. Example - should I vow to G-d if he would save my dying child's life I will forfeit my own. Yes the vow should not have been made but out of a moment of weakness, helplessness and dire emotion the vow was made - would HaShem demand the vow be fulfilled?. Would HaShem then expect me to find the nearest building and jump to my death? I am thankful that an understanding, forgiving, and compassionate G-d would understand my weakness at the moment and provide a means to absolve me from a vow that was heartfelt at the moment. I am extremely thankful there has been set into place a provision to be absolved. It would seem there are many aspects of a persons life in his relationship with G-d that do not fit into a one size fits all code of conduct. Of course all the comments made by others are extremely accurate - this situation may be one exception. Intending no disrespect of a very serious subject., I trust it is - my child lived and I am alive to provide its care.
(4) cliff, August 26, 2009 5:14 AM
Advice for leading a good life
Loved the article. Clear advice for a muddled society.
(3) Lois, August 25, 2009 8:53 PM
influencial
Made us realize the vale of our commitments.
(2) Anonymous, September 13, 2008 4:17 PM
Just Perfect!
Thank-you! This is my needed lesson for this week! This was just my struggle & I have been wrestling with that yucky not feeling good about me feeling & have been learing this exact lesson, but still need to keep learning it & making it real! Thank-you!
(1) Anonymous, August 31, 2006 11:44 PM
so true
Your message really hit home - and it was just what I needed to hear. So thank you so much and shabbat shalom!